ā vampire!sirius au / the summer that hikaru died au | little excerpt from the idea i had in this post | 1.1k words.
It was simply impossible for Remus Lupin to sleep anymore.
Long nights stretched out into gruelling hours, and every minute that ticked by felt an eternity as he bore his jaded eyes into the clock on the wall.
Discarding sleep had been Remusā decision entirely. It was for the best, however, given that his mother began losing her own nights as well. She worked long hours at the hospital, and shift work meant early mornings that were difficult to carry out with interrupted sleep dragged out by her sonās raw screams.
Nightmares plagued Remus ever since the night of March 13th. At first, the source was unexplainable, and Remus refused to give up the cause behind it. He refused to speak about the contents of what terrorized him so frequently, shaking his head and pleading to just be cradled to sleep in his motherās arms, underneath her soothing whispers.
But eventually it came out. Everyone took notice of Sirius Blackās absence, and his mother had put two and two together, concluding that Remus was severely impacted by the jarring loss of his best friend.
The thing was, Sirius wasnāt exactly his best friend. Remus couldnāt bring himself to call their relationship that. It seemed a disservice to what truly lingered between them, but never dared to be confirmed. Calling Sirius a best friend would mean their relationship was akin to what Sirius had with James Potter, or what Remus had with Lily Evans. But it was far more complex than the simplicity of a platonic companionship. No, Sirius and Remus shared something else entirely, even if Sirius refused to acknowledge it. Even if Remus was too much of a coward to outright admit it.
Another thing that ailed Remus since March 13th. Heād never thought himself devoid of bravery, but recent events had proved otherwise. Everyone else must have thought so too, anyways. With the way Remus sentenced himself to solitude in his own bedroom, refusing to attend his classes even after weeks that Sirius had been concluded a mere ārunawayā. Only that wasnāt the truth, and Remus found it difficult to convince anyone otherwise. In what universe would anyone believe him proclaiming that Sirius was actually dead, when a body was never found? His mother, Walburga Black, a polished reputation with well concealed cracks, would have him punished for it. Sentenced to something far worse than what Remus inflicted upon himself, and probably accuse him of her eldest heirās disappearance if she had her way.
What made no sense to Remus was the lack of a body. Sirius was nowhere to be found, even after his three friends had informed the police the full truth of their whereabouts on March 13th. Despite the search party that had been conducted multiple times scouring the depths of the forest, nothing was left behind. It was as if Sirius simply didnāt exist that evening alongside the rest of them. As if heād never come up with the idea of a reckless prank for that night and pressured them into taking off into the woods the community warned their children against. All to conclude that heād run away. Decided that the likes of their small, grim enclosed town was far too lowly for Sirius Blackās high and progressive standards.
Except that couldnāt have been possible at all. Remus had seen Sirius vividly that night, drowning in the showering rain alongside the rest of them. Remus had argued with Sirius verbally, hearing his voice thundering louder than the deafening storm itself, and his scream had been what stuck in his nightmares ever since. The crack of bone as he lost his balance to the slippery earth beneath them, the gurgling of his throat as he choked on blood spurting from the innards of his gaping mouth, the twitching of his mangled limbs that Remus caught from afar.
A knock startled him from the graphic images running in his head. Remus blinked, listening out to see if it was the touch of a tree branch against the wall, or perhaps a figment of his heightened imagination. Just when his shoulders began to ease back into the mattress, there was more banging on the door again.
Midnight, and Remus would wait for his mother to stir herself out of her sleep and tend to the door if it didnāt contradict the very reason why he chose to remain awake. So, for the first time in what felt like forever, Remus lifted himself upwards and felt the waves of dizziness hit his head. It took him a while to adjust, swallowing back the warm saliva that pooled in his mouth and blinking hard a couple of times as his feet grounded themselves into the cold deck below.
The knocking remained incessant and Remus cursed under his breath as he pushed himself towards the door. It was downstairs, so from the far end of his room, it should have been faint. But whoever it was behind the other side of the door was persistent, and Remus readied himself to spit out a scolding until his eyes squinted at the peephole.
Silence, then the other shifted on the other side of the door.
Remusā blood flushed cold, his body frozen in place. There was no way, there was no fucking wayā
There was just no way. There was no way, there was no way.
āMoony, isāis that you?ā
Completely soaked, silver gray eyes stared up into the other side of the peephole , black strands plastered to the frames of his sunken face. Contradictory to his pallid complexion, Sirius Black stood very much alive and moving, which shouldnāt be possible. It couldnāt be possible at all, and Remus had no way of comprehending it.
āIt is you.ā Sirius breathed out in relief, a sad smile curling at the ends of his lips.
Remus reeled backwards, pressing his forehead against the wooden surface, squeezing his eyes shut. He couldnāt anticipate the nightmares turning into night terrors, haunting him physically where he could not discern reality.
āPlease let me in, Moons.ā Sirius whispered, voice sharp in Remusā ears despite the barricade between them. But Remus shook his head. He was dreaming, he had to be. Some sort of visual message sent to him in harsh command to move on.
āItās cold,ā The crack in the otherās voice did something cruel to Remusā heart, knowing just how wild the storm was thrashing on the outside of his home. Leaving Sirius out there, victim to natureās wrath all over again. āPlease Moony.ā
There was a pause, and Remus steadied his fatigued body against the door, allowing it to slide down until he curled against it. He heard similar movement shifting on the other side, Sirius presumably enacting the same move.
āI know youāre there.ā Sirius spoke again, sending a tumultuous chill down Remusā spine. āLet me in. I promise I wonāt leave this time.ā
