ehh

Tired and Confused 20//She/Her

[prokopetz]

Today’s aesthetic: photos of lurking animals that one wouldn’t reasonably expect to be capable of lurking.

[maydaykoigo]

Proof needed

[prokopetz]

[yeah-yeah-beebiss-1]

[thatbatman-blog]

[luckyspike]

futurama is one of those shows that lures you in by being funny and then rips your fucking heart out

[notadangirl-blog]

If you didn’t know the hand was her father, the squid thing her mother, her parents left her at an orphanage when she was a baby but in reality were looking out for her all her life

[darrenofskies]

what makes it even sadder is the reason they left her in an orphanage. they didn’t want her to know she was a mutant. they wanted her to live a normal human life so they gave her up while they live in the sewers as mutants.

[scottsumrners]

she is a cyclops

how did she NOT know she was a mutant

[platinumcracker-blog]

BITCH if u watched the show or did any research at all you’d know that she thought she was an ALIEN, which in that society was completely acceptable. Try again!!!!

[bleauberry]

Her mother used her Ph.D in Exolinguistics to forge a note in an incomprehensible alien language to make the deception seem legit, so nobody would ever question why she was the only cyclops, or suspect her of being a mutant on the surface, which was illegal.

[wastrident]

You’re gonna need to learn to draw your firebending from a different source. I recommend the original source… For earthbending, the original benders were badgermoles.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[iyimibole]

[themasterpupil]

There’s a glitch in the matrix

[mockwa]

🐯 🐯 🐯

[bunjywunjy]

good morning everyone have an absolutely furious mongoose

[ari-nemera]

It’s cuter when you recognize that the lion with visible spots is a juvenile. There’s a very high chance the other lion that runs over to investigate is the MOTHER.

The first lion is asking for comfort because she was given a big spook!!! and she needs mommy to tell her it’s safe and ok!!!! (What’s cuter is that mommy clearly reassures her, and goes on to take the parent role of ‘deal with the scream rat in order to protect my large and easily frightened daughter’)

this is all in all an adorable video 10/10

[cryoverkiltmilk]

Who Would Win?

Three apex predators

OR

One Screaming Long Boi

[dankmemeuniversity]

[mirab3lle]

All of that was... this year?

[ace-lost-in-motherfucking-space]

that was all, the firsT FUCKING MONTH

[bromar-deactivated20130912]

*goes to england*

me: excuse me, what time is it?

brit: time wots that m8?

*big ben chimes*

everyone starts to count the bongs on their fingers*

brit: OI IT’S 7 BONG

[neontacos]

[mythoflight]

[iguanamouth]

what is the coolest rock you have?

probably one of these but i dont know what kind they are

[iguanamouth]

what the fuck

[bugsoftbinbows]

how could you waste a egg

[iguanamouth]

a what

[surprisebitch]

this is triggering

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

hey what’s up i *submits to the grain*

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

[wrinklycat]

One of my uncles succumbed to the grain via the grain silo exploding as soon as he walked in and now he cant move any part of his body and can barely eat on his own but its okay because he was in the kkk and tried to invite my dad to join everytime we visited

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

[mitochondriaandbunnies]

Dan and I bought a thing called “long ziti” from the local Weird Bargain Store, largely as a joke, but…. I have never had a more unsettling pasta experience in my life. They wouldn’t bend enough to cook from top to bottom simultaneously, and while they were cooking boiling water kept spouting out from the tops of them out of the pot, like a boiling pipe organ. Then they were so long and floppy and hoselike that we couldn’t pick them up with anything other than tongs, and then they were so long and unwieldy that it was basically impossible to sauce them without them all slithering out of the bowl like wet snakes. They then proceeded to cool down almost completely within the the seconds it took to walk to the living room. Eating them was like eating a bowl full half melted drinking straws.

[elemeno-pee]

Bringing back Long Ziti for another round because it’s just too funny

[cricketsqueak]

real life creepypasta

[amyw1nehouse]

american historical films be like

[goobra]

[bunnytherep]

Thought I might as well share my design based off of the Teddy Fresh hoodie! Feel free to try it out :3

[babyboomerbullshit]

Found this one that checks all the boxes on r/boomerhumor.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[ivan-fyodorovich-deactivated202]

Wow

[amesann-reblog]

Weirdest experience I ever had with this is with a customer at work.

It’s not an uncommon occurrence for men in their 40s and 50s to refer to their wives as “old bags”, so whenever I do the whole “Would you like a bag” spiel, there’s a 50/50 chance they will point to their wife and say “No thanks I have one right here” or say “Nah I left her at home” Or something else awful and then wink at me and call me darling or sweetheart and just make me want to be smited by god right in that second.

However there was one customer that came in and did this whole song and dance. Not out of the ordinary. What was, however, was how he then followed it up by going “I’m kidding, I’m divorced ha ha.” Then, his face drops and he turns to his friend with a look of absolute horror and goes “Wait, that’s probably why. Do you think that’s why she left me Andy? Because I said things like that?” And then proceeded to look like he was re-evaluating his whole life as his friend led him out of the store.

TL; DR = Boomers are weird and this one was given a glimpse behind the veil of self awareness in a Tesco Extra

[thingsthatcannotsaveyou]

[batbrobeyond]