esoterrifica

here be fandom (and myriad others)

[poppitron360]

Easily my favourite moment in Epic

[definitelynotgold]

the plot of literally every season of bridgerton is just "hot but pathetic man manages to get the baddest bitch around to fall deeply in love with him, still nearly fumbles the bag" in different fonts

[sea-owl]

Had a funny thought. You know, in Asian dramas, how sometimes important people just hide out in the family company as a low level, probably minium wage worker for one reason or another? Imagine Violet doing that, but the reason she's doing low-level work is that she can freely spouse hunt for her kids.

Violet technically never has to work a day in her life again if she so wished to. But Violet also has a mission to find the perfect spouse for each of her kids, and in her mind, she's gonna get better insight of potential partners as the janitor to Bridgerton Industries than as Lady Bridgerton. She'll get to learn intresting things that anyone would normally hide around her.

And meet some interesting people Violet did indeed! Like Simon, the young man who runs Hastings Inc., Bridgerton Industries' biggest partner company. He always greeted Violet with a warm smile. Or that nice vet, Dr. Kate Sharma! She was brought in alongside a trainer when the company started using therapy dogs. Her sweet boy Newton always happily ran up to Violet.

There's also the two lovley girls that regularly go to tea with Violet. Sophie, who works down in the company's childcare facility. Oh she's so good with the children. There's also Penelope, who works for Danbury Publishing but sometimes gets loaned out to Bridgerton Industries to help edit things like newsletters and important emails.

Oh, there's also that smart boy Phillip! It's adorable how he'll go on about plants, he even brings flowers he grew himself! He's the brains in his family's company while his brother runs the office politics. If Violet remembers correctly their company and Bridgerton Industries are teaming up to make Bridgerton Industries more environmentally healthy.

Then there are those two, some would say, devilish twins Michael and Michaela. Violet often sees them when their cousin comes to talk business with Anthony. Michael, that charmer always had a few words to make Violet blush. Though Michaela really isn't any better. Violet is and yet isn't surprised they're the heads of PR over in their family's company.

The last two Violet really likes are these two interns. Gareth, well, Violet isn't sure where he's interning. She knows it's either at Danbury Publishing or Hastings Inc., maybe both? She knows she sees him often enough with Lady Danbury and Simon, and knows he's in school to study archeology. Lucy is Kate's little intern who works more as an assistant while she's in school to studying for her degree. They'll happily chat with Violet if they see her around on one of their visits.

Violet just knows they're the ones for her children. Now, how to get them to see?

[dearestgentlereaders]

the things I would do to get a scene where michaela stirling is flirting with all the bridgerton wives. like I want anthony and benedict realising they have no game compared to her literally none whatsoever. anthony would basically go into cardiac arrest when michaela is able to get the kate bridgerton flustered. colin is just in the corner contemplating suicide when penelope starts blushing cause he thought he was the only one who could make her feel that way.

[nohoperadio]

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

[beguilingcorpse]

actually hilarious that colin bridgerton returned to london absolutely determined to be in his slut era. he said if there is one thing i am it is a whore. and then one (1) kiss with penelope later he was like neverMIND i am a MARRIED MAN i am MONOGAMOUS life is about LIFELONG PARTNERSHIP ACTUALLY

[dollypopup]

I get why people would think it but

Colin is NOT a rake. Colin is a young man trying to figure out his identity and what he likes sexually and trying to understand what the men of his society talk about and do. He's not out here messing around with women just to string them along and then leave them. He's trying to fit in and has been made fun of for being a virgin so yeah, he rectifies that by having sex, but just because he slept with a few women, that doesn't make him a rake? You wanna know who an actual rake in the series is?

Fife.

Because what the fuck happened to Miss Goring? I think about her sometimes and my heart aches for her. Her first season out, she's an 18 year old woman, and an older, titled man of her society who she assumes to be a proper gentleman makes her believe their relationship can actually be something, messes around with her the entire season, and then fucks her in a linen closet at a ball only to....what? Come back the next year with absolutely no mention of her whatsoever. Did she get pregnant? Was sent off in disgrace? Have to marry someone else?

Fife is a 30 year old man who has a bad habit of hounding after young, vulnerable women in his society. He fucks them and leaves them. He's a rake. Colin? Colin is not even close to that. Say what you will about the brothel scenes, but that IS the responsible place for a man of his time to go to for sex. Please stop demonizing sex work. Yes, many of these women are in that line of work because of less than savory reasons, but Colin is not taking advantage of them. He is paying for a service and they are providing that service. It is transactional, and he is the LEAST of their concerns in terms of clientele. A kind, handsome man who pays well and is discrete? Yeah, they're fine with him.

Colin has a history of respecting women. He respected Marina all throughout their courtship, and even after. I know some people sneer at him coming to see Marina, but please keep in mind she is a woman on her own who married a stranger far away from ANYONE who knew her. Colin was worried about Daphne when she came to him, asking if anything happened when she was away and clearly ready to fight for her, so of course he's worried about Marina. Partly he visits her for his own closure, but also like....y'all that's a WELLNESS visit. He's concerned that she's unhappy, but ultimately leaves because she's not hurt and that she tells him to. Colin listens to 'no' from the women around him. He asks for permission from them. He waited for Penelope's consent sexually, but he also didn't even get into the carriage until she allowed him. He even asks "Please, let me in".

Colin lives in a time when women do not have many rights, and he listens to the women around him even more than the men. He is the only one of his siblings to ask for his mum's advice and immediately takes it and takes action. He brings Eloise back a feminist text from his travels, even after she's besmirched as a radical, because he supports her pursuits. In season 2, he also knew of her going to the printers and didn't say anything. He has always respected and cared for Penelope. He hasn't insulted a single woman in his vicinity. He doesn't make the women he flirts with feel bad about themselves, or feel less, but compliments them, all whilst keeping respectable distance so as not to make them think he's interested in marrying them. He doesn't dance with any woman but Penelope in that season.

Colin isn't a rake. He's not a fuckboy. He's trying to act like he is, emulating the circle of his society, but that doesn't mean he is. I swear people just WANT to misinterpret him because that's the easiest way, but Colin is a character who doesn't lend well to surface level readings. He's a nuanced, gentle hearted character who has been looked down on for his sensitivity. He's a deeply relatable person because who of us haven't pretended to be accepted? Especially if we've been bullied or excluded. I know I have. Put on a persona for the sake of survival. And he does so for what? A few weeks? That does not a fuckboy make.

Just say you don't want to understand him and move along because those of us who get him GET HIM. And I'm grateful for a character like Colin.

He's the best man in the series by an entire mile and you can't change my mind about that.

[assiraphales]

imagine dealing w an international crisis involving precious artifacts and someone is like ‘don’t worry I know a guy’ and it’s a dorky connecticut college professor named henry who slips into his slutsona and suddenly he’s capable of saving the world w the power of his whip & fedora

[assiraphales]

you don’t know where the guy is. you don’t know where the guy is going. but you do know he’s on the case w a 98% success rate and his tits are out

[assiraphales]

I said what I said!

[xavantina]

#this man gets uncomfortable and overwhelmed when 20 y/o college girls hit on him #but take off his glasses #put on his fedora #and this man is ready to find Atlantis in three to eight business days (via @sansakenobi​)

[coffeedrgn87]

It’s impossible to argue with anything above.

[your-mums-nuts]

Absolutely hilarious to me that the ton is gonna be speculating on why and how Penelope and Colin ended up engaged and there’s definitely gonna be some entrapment/pity rumours going around but the actual truth of it is that Colin chased a carriage down, fell to his knees and went “please please please please please please please”

[redacted-gay-username]

Literally everyone rn

[hippeasantwitch]

*lays down on the chaise longue*

Therapist: So when did the monster twinking begin?

Me: Well, I like to think it all started when Ben Meredith performed Elias Bouchard like a trust fund demon twink and after that, whatever irreversible brain damage the internet has given me sort of filled in the blanks

[forgotten-fossilized-archaic]

eweof in modern day, Bambleby comments “so true bestie” on everything Emily posts

[owlmylove]

the flesh is unwilling and honestly, the spirit isn't too keen on the idea either

[freddycartr]

the comfort this cast gives me is unmatched

[boingmann]

maybe don’t hire Martin

bonus:

[artlefty]

Sometimes I read a tma fic that has the tea martin is serving be like some...fancy herbal or floral stuff.

My dude, come here for a second-

This is a workplace in England. It is Tetley. It is PG Tips. It is yorkshire gold.

It is NOT ginger hibiscus or green tea or fuscia with parma violets. it is a cuppa. It is a regular ass cuppa tea with some milk in it. Maybe some sugar.

Serving unprompted herbal tea to a coworker is a violent act of hatred. It is a decree of warfare.

Your boss asks you to make them a cuppa and you put Ginseng Green Sea Buckthorn tea on their desk? You are telling them you hate their guts. You are letting them know that you think they are the worst person on Earth.

[nightmaskart]

Gerry Keay