Etched In Ash

Independent Commander Lexa written and cherished by Amanda (25+) EST [Current Threads] Send me memes! Open to additional verses. Hit me up if interested in writing with me & my Lexa. [F/F only] Status: Hiatus (Recovering from major surgery.)

[etchedinash]

Hiatus

What started out as momentary writer's block and getting completely consumed with playing HDZ & SWTOR had unexpectedly turned into a more serious time away.

I ended up going to the ER after getting very severe abdominal pains on the 11th. Long, scary, and insanely painful story short - my colon had somehow twisted upon itself and one half of it was ballooned and could’ve burst at any moment. It could’ve killed me. So, I had a big surgery and had that fixed. It was successful.

I amazingly am back home after getting discharged yesterday after spending 4/5 days at the hospital. I got a lovely long line of staples across the expanse of my stomach. It’s shown me just how much we use our stomach muscles to do simple things like getting out or in bed and yeah, it’s tough going. 

Just wanted to let you all know what has been going on with me. After what I’ve been through, I cannot wait to get back to escaping this world and playing in another with our favs. Thanks for the patience and understanding. I will be back when I am able and comfortable. 

[etchedinash]

Hi, just wanted to quickly wish a happy holidays to you all and that I hope to return soon. I guess I just really needed an extended break after this mess of a year finally caught up to me. 

Hopefully I’ll have a few people that still wish to rp with me; whether we continue the same threads or start a new one. 

[rpmememaker]

It's Sexual Sunday so...

send my muse inappropriate questions

flirt with them anonymously or not

try to make them blush

kiss them at random

send me terrible pickup lines 

get my muse hot and bothered 

Pretty much this is your excuse to do what you want to my muse and see if you can get away with it. So go crazy! 

[iheartnewt]

color meme  | @buffyisnotonfireinthetardis said: lexa + warm colors

[ohlexa]

#for science

[lexii-con]

[etchedinash]

rebellmade​:

Clarke moved over to the couch as well, drawn towards the delectable aroma of a hot breakfast. Not that she’d been eating poorly over the past few months, but she had already come to suspect that nothing could really compare to the food from Polis. As Lexa waited for her tea, Clarke popped a grape into her mouth, delighting as it burst between her teeth, flooding her tongue with sweet juice. “That could work,” she said after swallowing a sip of a vaguely fruity drink she didn’t have a name for. “My clothes might be a little big on you, but I don’t think it’ll matter if you’re just sleeping in them.” Clarke couldn’t stop a shiver at the thought of Lexa wearing her clothes, and masked it by taking a large bite out of a sweet pastry. She hummed at the rich flavor. “Are you sure no one will ask for, you know, actual proof?” Clarke fixed Lexa with a skeptical look. Not that she was questioning the Commander’s judgement, but…she kind of was. This was completely new territory for her, and she had no idea how the rest of the clans would react to their Alpha taking a mate. “Because that’s something we can’t really fake.” Sitting this close to Lexa, Clarke could feel her body beginning to warm. Good thing she had plenty of food to distract her. For the time being.

After finishing her toast, Lexa hid a grimace when she finally took the first sip of her tea. It never failed to taste bitter to her but at least she had learned that eating something sweet beforehand helped made it more tolerable. She had some time to enjoy breakfast before the effects and the nausea kicked in,

“They won’t dare question their Heda so publicly and especially not when Skaikru is present. On the off chance that I am wrong, your appearance and the claim announcement will be a surprise. There won’t be much time to react before moving onto initiating Skaikru as the 13th Clan.”

Lexa wasn’t even going to tell Titus what she has planned. Besides, she believed the shock alone, her scent on Clarke, and the fact that Wanheda herself had clearly agreed to it would be convincing enough. 

“It’s...” Lexa hesitated a moment to recall the English word. “Politics. It’s not like it’s a mating claim. It’s one-sided and to suggest that Wanheda’s power can no longer be claimed. It’ll keep you safe from the rest of the clans besides Azgeda, of course. I’ll have to deal with Queen Nia directly.”

[etchedinash]

enchantressoftheseasclarke​:

Clarke thrashed on the box, snarling at everyone. She bit a few hands and scratched a few sailors who wanted to touch her. The blonde tried so hard to get out of the box.

The trade was several hours later. Clarke was being brought to a trade spot. Being set down, she sat up to look around the port. She frowned as she recognized a few people there. Of course, Lexa’s crew would turn on the captain.

The mermaid dropped back into the box and went underwater. She’d lose the captain. She’d lose the one person she wanted in the world. She closed her eyes then as she laid there in the water.

“No one escapes,” Lexa declared quietly to Anya, Lincoln and a few other of her most trusted crew members. With determined nods, they spread out to surround the trade spot waiting for their enraged Captain to make her presence felt. 

Withdrawing her sword and pistol, the Captain strolled into the meeting causing murmurs of surprise from her former crew that had captured Clarke. 

“I overheard that you guys missed my ruthless ways,” Lexa recalled the gossip that had reached her ears. They had thought she had lost her edge. “I’ll gladly prove to you that I never lost it.”

Before giving any of them a chance to retort, she fired her flintlock into the face of the leader of the group, before swiftly and brutally striking the others down with her blade. 

“Whoa, don’t hurt us. We didn’t know they were stealing from Captain Alexandra. It’s your property. We didn’t know.”

Lexa paused near the large crate with blood specks adding to the dark paint she had around her eyes. When her dark eye finally caught sight of Clarke - alive - she wondered if her love would even recognize her behind the war paint and bloodthirst for revenge. 

“Clarke,” Lexa’s voice cracked with relief before she turned her attention to the few last living people. The traders. “Tell me. How often do you make these “exotic” trades?” Lexa asked almost casually as her remaining eye drifted back to Clarke’s. No doubt would Clarke be able to tell that Lexa had no intentions of letting these people go. She would leave no witnesses alive. 

[perxonvl]

[etchedinash]

rebellmade​:

This was awkward. Very awkward. Clarke stood there, a silent spectator in the storm brewing between mentor and Commander. She could practically feel the electricity in the air, humming along her skin. Should she say something to dispel the tension, or let Anya and Lexa work it out on their own? At least no one had gathered to watch the argument, everyone tending to their various wounds and rebuilding of the community. Finally Clarke couldn’t take it anymore. She cleared her throat and stepped forward, trying to sound as reasonable as possible. “I think what Anya meant to say was that she’s glad you’re back, Lexa, because she was worried about you.” Anya turned her glare onto Clarke, but didn’t say anything. Clarke took that as an encouraging sign. “And Lexa knows her responsibilities, but everyone needs some time alone every now and then, right?” “She should still know better than to wander off without first telling-” “Well, she’s back now,” Clarke said, cutting Anya off before they started fighting again. She gave the woman a firm look, then turned to Lexa, her expression softening somewhat. It would have been nice for Lexa to let her know that she was leaving, but she didn’t want to sound like a scorned lover or anything. “I’m ready to go when you are, Lexa.”

Lexa jutted her chin up further when Clarke intruded in an attempt to cool their growing frustration with each other. Her eyes didn’t dare to look away from Anya’s. When Clarke’s words dried up, it took a few silent moments before Lexa decided to break it. 

“You and I need to have a talk when I get back in a few days,” Lexa stated plainly as her stance loosened. “Not as The Commander and her second hand, but as friends.” Because that’s exactly what had happened the moment Lexa was able to clear the way to the bunker. They had both effortlessly fallen back into their roles and hadn’t taken the time to speak as just themselves. 

“Okay, make sure you’ve packed enough for a few days. I’ll take care of the food.” Lexa finally looked over to Clarke after Anya had given her a sharp nod. After checking in with all the searchers and confirming their routes; Lexa and Clarke taking the furthest route that would take them to a town - with their supplies and gear all packed, they left the village.

When the tall walls of the village eventually faded out of sight, the tension in her shoulders loosened. Finally, Lexa allowed herself to look Clarke over and quietly observed her profile. Clarke had thought Lexa maybe needed time alone. It hadn’t been why she had silently left the sleeping blonde earlier. 

“I’m sorry if I caused you any worry. I should’ve suspected Anya would’ve notice my absence almost instantly. Did she --” Lexa cringed slightly as her hands gripped the straps over her shoulder. “Did she wake you? God, she would do something like that.” Shit. She hoped Clarke wasn’t too mad at her for leaving her alone in bed.

[etchedinash]

enchantressoftheseasclarke​:

Stolen Treasure || @etchedinash

Clarke stood off to the side. It was amazing to watch Anya and Lexa spar with each other. Each strike against the blades caused sparks to fly off a few times which only intrigued the mermaid. She tilted her head slightly before noticing Lexa’s footing as she moved against Anya. Smiling to herself, she realized Lexa took her advice during their training. Clarke held her own sword up so she could familiarize herself with the weight of it.

Setting the blade down, she went to grab some water. Clarke suddenly felt her mouth get covered as two men grabbed her. The blonde turned on them and snapped one man’s neck before ripping another man’s throat. Someone came up behind her and hit her on the head to knock her out. She slumped down as the guys grabbed her to carry her away from the area.

The blonde woke up several hours later tied up in the bottom of the boat where she was in a box of salt water. Her body had changed revealing who she truly was. Clarke snarled at several of the people staring at her.

“She’ll get me so much money,” a woman stated off to the side. “The Commander won’t even know she’s missing.”

A shout “Captain!” came from one of her deckhands just as Lexa finished crossing swords with Anya. Naturally, her sought out Clarke’s presence only to find her missing from where she was spectating. Her brow furrowed before turning toward the growing chatter behind a stack of crates a small distance away. 

“Captain, we have two bodies here and one of them were ours.”

Swiftly, Lexa marched across the space and rounded the containers to find two men lying on the dirt. One man’s neck broken, and the other’s neck torn out by something other than a knife, Teeth or more specifically sharp fangs had done the damage. The Captain instantly came to the inevitable conclusion as she searched around for Clarke once again. No. She had been captured. 

“Find out where the rest of the old hands I’ve just released and their mates are holding up! Find out the situation around here, Anya, and find me the trade location. If we don’t get to them first, we’re crashing the trade.”

[etchedinash]

rebellmade​:

When Lexa mentioned the option of terminating the pregnancy, Clarke looked up at her, blinking in - not exactly shock, but surprise. She’d been lying if she hadn’t considered it in the very beginning, but her indecision had lasted only a few seconds, maybe a minute at most. Because even though Lexa was the sire of the life growing inside of her, she couldn’t punish it for decisions she had made. No, she hadn’t thought of it as a person from the very beginning, knew it was nothing more than a clump of cells in those early months, but now? Now she felt a kind of connection to her unborn child that she had never felt for anything - or anyone - else before. “You sound so sure.” Clarke shook her head, letting out another weary sigh. “I wish I had your confidence.” But even she knew that confidence could be fickle at the best of times. Sometimes saying that something was true, believing it to be true, could instill a sense of confidence that wasn’t really there. Clarke still had no idea how Lexa did it, commanding all twelve clans at once.  She’d had trouble keeping ninety-nine kids in line. “Should we have breakfast and talk about what happens next?” Clarke drummed her fingers against her leg and cleared her throat. “With the fake claiming ceremony.” She hated the fact that she could feel her cheeks burning; damn heat. It was making all of this so much more complicated than it should be. At this rate, if she couldn’t keep her urges under control, there would be nothing fake about the claiming at all.

Lexa couldn’t help the small twist of a smile at Clarke’s grumble over her confidence. It was something that Clarke never truly lacked. It had been one of the things that drew Lexa to her. She had no doubt that Clarke would be able to find that same confidence again. “Just give it some time, Clarke,” Lexa softly assured. 

Her smile faded with the mention of the pretend claim and the embarrassment that colored Clarke’s cheeks. When her door swung open with her handmaidens’ reappearance with breakfast, she found herself grateful for the interruption.

“Thank you,” Lexa stood up to take a seat on the couch in front of where the delectable food was laid out. “I just need to have my tea and that will be all.”

Before long, her suppressant tea was eventually delivered and they were left alone to enjoy their shared breakfast. Idly spreading a sweet smear across a slice of fresh bread, Lexa revealed the ideas that came to her late last night to Clarke.

“I’ve thought about it a lot last night. I do believe we can manage it without arousing suspicion. We’d have to stay consistent to keep my scent on you. Besides touching, we could also share clothes. I could maybe sleep overnight with something of yours and then return it to you.”

[etchedinash]

how do you best like to be loved?

touch me with tender truth

you crave being known and held. you just want the warmth and pressure of another body against your own. sometimes, late at night when you're alone in your bed, your skin aches with the lack of touch. you've tried touching yourself, and it isn't the same. one time someone gripped your shoulder and squeezed it in passing, and you thought about it for weeks after - the ghost pressure of their hand lingering. don't you deserve it? consistent physical love and caring? i think so, i think you do. but i also have to ask - do you fear it even as you want? after all, if you get it then it might also be taken away. i hope that if you fear it, you push through past that fear. that you ask for the touch you desire and deserve. i hope that you get touched with love and kindness, wrapped up in warm arms and rocked from side to side until the tension and pain falls away layer by layer and only you are left.

tagging: @rebellmade​ @aigonakru​ @mercyburned​ @itwcntsurviveme​ and whoever else that wants to do it! 

[etchedinash]

rebellmade​:

Clarke hesitated for a brief moment before she moved to sit down in a nearby chair, slowly lowering herself into it. She found it difficult not to stare at Lexa; her tongue darted out to wet her lips as she watched the handmaiden’s deft fingers work through the brunette strands. And if she felt a flicker of jealousy in her chest at someone else touching the Alpha, well, she did her best not to let it show. Instead she cleared her throat and focused on Lexa’s question. “I’m well.” And then - “Actually, I had a pretty bad night’s sleep.” As the handmaidens left, Clarke slumped in the chair, letting her exhaustion show. “I mean, the bed was amazing, so that wasn’t the problem. I just have so many things going on in my head, worrying about my mom showing up here, what she’s going to think about this.” She gestured to her stomach. “And then there’s the whole fake claiming thing, and the fact that I’m still pretty angry with you, and-” Clarke bit her lip to stop herself from rambling. She hadn’t meant to, but the words had just kept flowing. She let out a sigh, clasping her hands in her lap. “It’s been a while since I’ve had to face any kind of responsibility. After putting it off for so long, it’s a little overwhelming,” she admitted, peeking at Lexa through her lashes. “It was wrong of me to leave my people, I knew that even as I was walking away. But…I felt like I was going to fall apart. And now I’m worried they’ll resent me for it.” It was the first time Clarke had voiced her concerns to Lexa since she had showed up in the village. The first time she’d let her weakness show. Because a part of her, the part of the Omega that belonged to her Alpha, wanted nothing more than to be held in Lexa’s arms and told everything was going to be alright.

As Lexa listened closely to every word that spilled from Clarke’s mouth, her legs would shift and recross with restless energy. Her eyes dropped guiltily from where they had lingered on Clarke’s lips when her anger with Lexa was mentioned. It was then that it dawned on her that she was close to going into a rut. It wasn’t expected until next week. Perhaps being back in Clarke’s presence had triggered it to arrive earlier. Deciding she would ask for her personal tea when the handmaidens return, Lexa concentrated on addressing Clarke’s worries.

“You have faced responsibility, Clarke. Maybe not regarding your people, but you have accepted the responsibility for the life growing within you. You could have terminated the pregnancy, but you didn’t. What is it if it’s not that?”

Clarke had every reason to choose to not have it. She was young, it was unplanned, and if it was Lexa’s, then truly, it surprised her that Clarke hadn’t gone with that decision. 

“As for your people, I believe the majority of them will be pleased to have you back safe and sound. It’s not difficult to understand why you had left, but for those that may still feel some resentment… just give them some time to come around. Have faith in your people and let them help you carry some of your burdens.” It went unstated that Clarke was fortunate that her people were Skaikru and didn’t share the same severe judgment of such actions as ‘Grounders’. 

[etchedinash]

enchantressoftheseasclarke​:

The blonde watched her for a moment, trying to look into Lexa. Clarke brushed her fingers against her neck. “Sensing sadness and longing are the easiest things for me to detect,” she answered honestly. Looking over her face, she swallowed. “I feel something. Not longing… but something else.” She brushed her fingers against her cheek slowly.

“You know I love you and I will follow you wherever you go,” she whispered. Clarke gave Lexa a smile and pressed her forehead to hers. “Let me know whatever you need.” She hugged Lexa. The blonde rested her hand on her shoulder.

Love. It was love but restrained deep within. A small part of her had known. Lexa knew that despite the promise at the time that they would not become attached, that no matter how much she wished it to be true, she didn’t have control over her feelings. Instead, it was just denial that she embraced.

“I know,” Lexa sighed as their foreheads touched. “Still gonna think you’re crazy for choosing me. For not choosing someone easier and safer to love.” It was crazy, but Lexa wasn’t going to turn away from it after learning that Clarke could not be affected by her curse. “But you’ve made it clear from the start that you like a bit of danger.” Lexa grinned pulling Clarke into a tighter embrace. It may take her a little time to adjust, but for Clarke, she would figure it out and learn how to accept all that Clarke wanted to give to her.

[etchedinash]

aigonakru​:

she couldn’t believe what had happened. her heart was pounding in her chest and she could barely hear the other’s words as they spoke to her. a brunette that appeared out of no where. her hand gripping the girl’s arm tightly. uneasy and losing her balance as they stood there. “ what? “ shaking her head, eyes closing. “ where did you come from? “

looking around for any possible path that could’ve led her to this spot. letting out shaky breaths. “ hmm—” her ears ringing as she tries to register their words.stumbling over yet again. “ woah…what did you say? “ finally looking back to the brunette beside her. only getting one word out of it–help. 

Lexa found herself intently watching the shift of emotions flickering across the woman’s features. The tight grip on her arm would be considered bruising if she was mortal, but she allowed the stranger to continue holding onto her. Lexa had to remind herself to ease up when she realized that her words went mostly unheard.

“I was walking nearby,” Lexa stated vaguely before lifting a hand to steady the other woman by the shoulder. “Hey, look at me. Breathe in and out. You’re alright.” It occurred to her that she needed to act or the woman would likely end up fainting with the way she was swaying unsteadily. “Look into my eyes,” Lexa took a step closer, her gaze piercing. Perhaps a little harmless compulsion would do the trick. “C a l m. It would be better if you were c a l m and s t e a d y, right?”

[etchedinash]

@rebellmade continuing from here. 

When Lexa returned after being gone for two hours, it was yet another heartbreaking reminder how drastic things have changed in such a short time. It was a little more than a week ago when she and Clarke had went hunting. They had received quite the recption for making a safe return. Willow had always made sure to be one of the first people to welcome their Heda back.

But Willow was gone. 

Instead, it was Anya’s angry face that greeted her.

“Where the hell have you been?”

“Anya,” Lexa sighed walking past her toward her tent. “Don’t. I am fine and am ready to begin the search.”

“You left without informing anyone, Lexa. You can’t do that. You’re the Commander, you can’t just leave and -- ”

“Well, I did.” Lexa snapped as she spun back around to scowl at her mentor. It nearly escaped her attention that Clarke was a spectator to their conversation. “I didn’t go out into the woods with a noose. I am here, aren’t I? I am here and as Heda, I do not take kindly to you chiding me like I’m some child.”

Lexa and Anya stood face to face exchanging glares. Lexa knew. God, did she know what was expected of her. It was always there in her head. However, she didn’t need to hear it from someone else. The reminders, the expectations, the responsibility, it was growing more suffocating each day but she was still trying in spite of it all.