NN Schneider @nnschneider - Tumblr Blog

“Xavier owns an apartment that he rents out at a loss of $1 billion/month. Seeing this success, he decides to make financial commitments to

Is it still satire if it's true?

#fuck ai #mcsweeney's

indeedgoodman

rabbitindisguise

Me, before I saw this: old timey dancing in cartoons has to be over-exaggerated for effect

Me, now: old timey dancing in cartoons had to be toned down to promote a sense of realism because they were too good at it

famylee83

This man needs to be hunted for sport.

#amaury guichon

I don't know who needs to hear this ¹, but after you eat the contents of a disposable to-go container you can put it in the trash rather than leaving it on the kitchen counter or table.

1: yes, I do.

#I don't know who needs to hear this

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

current state of the internet is a FUCKING EMBARASSMENT. was chatting with my grandma bout the history of crochet and knitting (and the comparative ages of those respective technologies) and i was like "oh YEAH and also that ancient greek fiber art we partly figured out from chemically testing the scoured bleached pigments of stolen statuary (tumblr knows what im talking about)—gimme 30 seconds to look up the name."

5 minutes and 3 search-engines later i am crying tears of blood screaming spitting blubbering in despair as my grandma attempts to digitally pat me consolingly on the back. the library of alexandria didn't burn it was "restructured" to "increase shareholder profits"

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

and i STILL CANNOT FIND THE TERM.

i am scouring the internet like the victorians scoured and destroyed all trace of joy and color from stolen relics for the LOST NAME OF THE ANCIENT PROCESS of textile-creation akin to knitting/crocheting/nålebinding that at least one academic/crafter used to recreate the leggings on this Glorious Motherfucker:

the google execs erased it. they bleached my bestie AGAIN from history...

lachrymose-lyricist

is this of any use

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

SO IT IS!!!

Archer statue from the Temple of Aphaia (ca. 480 BC) next to a reconstruction of its original paint job:

The leggings and sleeves would have created using a method called SPRANG which predates knitting and is over 3,000 years old. What's even sexier is modern artisans managed to recreate the entire outfit using the original method!

Mmm-HMM, love me a shapely thigh in harlequin hosiery. Put👏men👏in👏clingy-ass👏clothing👏again👏👏👏

Unfortunately english sources are hard to find, partly because Google's a shithole, but also because this textile project comes from a German museum, in Germany, where people tend to speak (and publish) in German. That said, the original link is to a short-but-sweet article I would have had no problem finding in 30 seconds a mere few years ago. fortunately i have clever beautiful insane people following me, but alas not everyone has such luxury. thanks to everyone in the notes who shoved themselves down this rabbithole with me!

in conclusion let us take a moment to sincerely wish Google a very burn in hell🙏

effinbirds

nnschneider

The second Saturday in June (e.g., 13-Jun) is known as World Gin Day.

#world gin day #gin

la-venere

nothing sexier than that picture with the italian players on top of eachother after the win and the english ones going through the 5 stages of grief in the back

la-venere