Ex-Catholic, Ace, Mom of 4

Welcome! 💜 She/Her | Atheist & Secular Humanist | I'm 32, just left the Catholic Church and discovered that I'm Asexual/Biromantic even though I'm married and have 4 kids. | I'm not sure how often I'll post on here as I have ADHD and I get interested in doing things then randomly stop. | TW: Clergy Abuse/Religious Trauma | I was previously in a Catholic Charismatic Cult with a sexual predator as a leader and have a lot of Religious Trauma.

[excatholicatheistace]

I'm so tired of the lie that we shouldn't be angry:

"Don't let it steal your peace. "

"What are you doing to deal with your anger?"

"Anger can be toxic."

No. Anger isn't toxic in and of itself. It's a biological mechanism meant to protect us and it can be used for good.

What's really toxic are the structures of racism, sexism, and abuse that manipulate and hurt people.

Instead of, "I should tell them to focus on what's around them and be less angry," I would ask yourself, "Why am I uncomfortable with anger? Why am I uncomfortable with people who use their voices to speak out?"

Obviously, not everyone is going to be moved to action about every single cause. That's okay. It's okay to focus on what's in front of you, it's okay to focus on your mental health, your family, or your job. Not everyone can fight every single battle.

But, it's not okay to silence others because their justified anger makes you feel uncomfortable.

Systemic abuse relies on silence. It tells us to just mind our place and remain a cog in a machine. But, that's not me anymore. It used to be. It's what kept me in a cult.

But now? I can't help it. I'm Reepicheep from the Voyage of Dawn Treader. I may be small and insignificant, but I'll use my tiny sword (or my voice) anyway. Even if it's just for me to shout in the void. It's worth it.

My anger is my friend. It tells me when something is wrong. It makes me strong enough to leave things that are harmful. And it inspires me to help others.

[brainsanalysis-deactivated20210]

Hello please reblog this if you're okay with people sending you random asks to get to know you better

[excatholicatheistace]

Sorry I'm not consistently on this app! But I promise to answer when I appear again. ❤️

[excatholicatheistace]

I wish "taking the Lord's name in vain," meant using God (or the idea of God) to manipulate others, but it's definitely not what it means in Christianity.

Manipulation is unfortunately a staple of Salvation Theology. You can't be "saved" if you have nothing to be saved from. You don't need to be saved from anything without the view that human beings are inherently deserving of punishment for how "wretched" we are.

So what do Christians do?

They indoctrinate their children from a young age, manipulating their thoughts and behaviors to fit their worldview. They teach them to fear hell, and in the process, to see themselves as disposable. You are less than nothing unless you obey. But, if you obey it's all good. You'll get grace then. 👍

Whether they like it or not, they are using God to advance an agenda and manipulate the behavior and thoughts of others.

[arandompunk]

I'm okay with burning in hell, actually.

Because if I am a good person in all ways exept worshiping god and I get eternal torture for that thats on him.

And I will be a good person because I choose kindness above all else. I look at my options and ask 'what is the kindest thing?' and I pick it. Not the most god-glorifying. The kindest. This is the hill I choose.

[argumate]

choosing breeds of Christianity like do you prefer austere and minimalist antisemitism and homophobia or ornate and baroque antisemitism and homophobia, or perhaps Russian antisemitism and homophobia?

[degenerate-perturbation]

In love with the usage of “breeds” here like

Catholicism owners: This is an 85th generation purebred system of antisemitism and homophobia, we feed it only the finest organic grass-fed teleological proofs for the existence of God

Protestantism owners: This is Luther he likes bigotry

[sandersstudies]

I am losing my mind this is so funny

[notarobot1006]

Ironically, this post itself is pretty bigoted. I’m disappointed in all of you but only surprised at some of you.

[argumate]

no I really don’t think it is, bigotry would be claiming that all Christians are bad people, or that they should be rounded up and put in camps and expelled from the country, or that they worship false idols and will go to hell when they die, that’s bigotry, while the Catholic Church continuing to claim that homosexuality is “objectively disorded” and Protestant churches pushing gay “conversion therapy” and the Russian Orthodox Church insisting that homosexuality is “inappropriate and immoral” is simply reality, as is the origin of Christianity as a Roman outgrowth of a Jewish sect and the inevitable antisemitism that engendered, such that the continued existence of Jewish people who didn’t embrace Christianity was still driving Martin Luther crazy even 1500 years later.

[excatholicatheistace]

It's amazing how many people believe that I just wanted to sin and that's why I left. I was a really good Catholic. I put everything into it. I gave my life for the Church.

The truth is, my trauma gave me the boost I needed to really look at the evidence and evaluate everything.

And seeing how easily people can fall into group think/propaganda. I really was curious about the cognitive dissonance in my own life and came to a different conclusion.

"Godless" apostates are not necessarily bad people just as Christians aren't necessarily good people. You would think, as a society, we should be able to grasp this by now. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[kittykatninja321]

My hypothesis is that in like 10 years gen z is gonna have a big cult boom the way the boomers did in the 70s

[chazymandias]

It’s already happening on tik tok. There’s a fun new thing going round that’s citing common symptoms of depression and anxiety as signs you’re about to have your awakening and that you are actually an alien and the reason you don’t feel right is because you’re home sick for your own galaxy. So that’s fun.

[aleatoryw]

agreed, and i don't mean this in a "haha gen z is so dumb they're gonna join a tiktok cult lmao" i mean that conditions are perfect for the formation of cults right now.

high unemployment and a lot of underpaying, pointless jobs = people are looking for things to do with their life, a purpose

skyrocketing cost of living = most young people will not be able to live on their own, meaning some will end up in a group living situation with people interested in recruiting them

it's a time of great cultural and political upheaval, nothing feels real, people are desperate for meaning and human connection. cults promise that

there is a new wave of acceptance and understanding for ways of life outside the norm, which is great! ...except for when cult leaders tell you abusive and controlling practices are just their culture, their religion, their lifestyle, their beliefs, their tradition, and if you disrespect it you are the problem

social media influencers have already shown us how easy it is to build a cult of personality and attract people from anywhere in the world who are interested in the exact brand you are selling

spirtuality is having a boom, as are things like astrology, crystals, tarot, meditation, energy... those things aren't bad on their own but they are often used as tools of cult spaces

wellness. i think a lot of people are already in wellness cults. you can make people do a lot of things in the name of "wellness" and a big factor of maintaining a cult is keeping members in a state of decreased cognition..... like say, with regular fasting

i think people are just unaware in general of how cults function, especially because the satanic panic was a big stupid false alarm that convinced the youths that dungeons and dragons or doom were gateways to cults, which are scary evil child murdering, satan-worshipping gangs. people don't know how to spot them in real life.

[apple-dandy]

So if that's the case everyone remember with me the cardinal rules of not getting cult'd

SOCIAL BUFFER: Learn what healthy social boundaries are and develop relationships which are within those boundaries.

Be wary of those who step on your or others' boundaries. Be there for your friends, but don't be their therapists or parents. Go get coffee or juice or snacks & chat casually with a friendly crew on a regular basis.

ESTEEM BUFFER. Recognize that you and every other person on this planet are owed a baseline of respect.

Respect means that what you wear, what/who you take interest in, and who/what you are are things which you decide on based on your own reasoning. If anyone is trying to change your mind, make sure to think critically about their side and decide for yourself whether you want to change. Ask: Why do they want you to change? Is that valid to your situation? Who / what would benefit from this change? Do you want them / it to benefit? Then decide for yourself.

RELAXATION BUFFER. Take time exclusively for yourself.

Take care of your body and mind when it needs to be fed, watered, washed, or nurtured. Have a couple hobbies that are just for you. Have more than one interest. Think about more than just one topic. Cults keep you focused on them to the exclusion of all else, so don't allow yourself to be blocked in.

BUBBLE POP BUFFER: Learn from multiple sources, even ones you don't like or respect.

Read multiple sources' versions of events before you decide what you feel about something. Recognize that not all sources are valid, but understand what those invalid sources are trying to do. Are they misguided or malicious? Who are THEIR sources? What is the agenda? Who benefits? Why would they want to say what they're saying? Do they have a point? Who pays them? What do they care about? Then make your decision.

BEWARE THE B.I.T.E.: Cults control people via Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotion control. BITE

Look up the BITE model and consider it against groups you wish to join / have joined.

Remember. You are the arbiter of your mind.

You have the blessing and burden of making your own decisions. Other people who will love and care about you throughout your life will want you to think for yourself and will think for themselves.

You are not alone. You are worthwhile. Your thoughts are your own and you have every right to control them yourself.

[nothorses]

Just a quick addition: look for BITE stuff in regular individuals and friend groups, not just groups you’re formally joining. Look for it in roommates. Look for it in anyone you start getting close to. Look for it in groups that people you care about are getting into, and people they’re getting close to.

Sometimes people are just flawed, sometimes they’re well-intentioned but still growing, but that’s the point of red flags: they aren’t a sure sign of trouble, but they’re still worth taking note of & keep an eye on in case patterns emerge.

The reason I say this is worth learning and looking out for in more casual relationships is that these are mostly just abuse tactics carried out in a large-scale, more organized way. And because if someone is interested in recruiting you, they may employ these tactics on an individual, casual-seeming level as well.

(Information on BITE methods)

As someone who’s really interested in cults and cult tactics, I really recommend “The Vow”, too! NXIVM is a cult that essentially set itself up as a self-improvement business tool for white collar folks, and it used “wellness” culture as a major recruitment tool. There was nothing remotely religious or spiritual about it, which is part of why so many people fell into it. “Seduced” is good as well, and shorter.

[excatholicatheistace]

Pope Francis put some Restrictions on Latin Mass today (barely, tbh, I don't think it will affect people that much) and people are completely heartbroken.

Which is fine. It's okay to be sad.

But, it really makes me feel sick the number of people who are completely crushed by this and very vocal about it, but were silent about the mass graves of indigenous children at Residential Schools.

You will survive at Novus Ordo mass. Those children's lives were cut short and their families grieved never knowing what became of them.

All that beauty that you are obsessed with? They barely got to experience beauty in this life because of the Church's abuse and negligence.

[excatholicatheistace]

This. 💔😭

[excatholicatheistace]

Sorry for disappearing! I ran out of my ADHD meds last week and there is a hold up in getting them. I'm having trouble focusing on anything, even things I enjoy doing.

In the meantime I have been aimlessly wandering the house hoping to bump into something that I need to get done and then still not completing any task whatsoever. 😅🤦🏻‍♀️

I feel trapped in an endless brain fog. 😭

I hope I see you on the other side, friends!

[that-strange-ringing]

Ok to reblog.

I’m going to add a disclaimer real quick: I am not saying that if you’re religious then you’re automatically a bad person, but you cannot ignore the hurt the church has and continues to cause.

You can preach all you want about how we should all love each other but if you don’t hold your leaders accountable for the damage they do then your words mean nothing. And if you believe for some reason that the people hurt somehow deserve it for being “sinners”, you don’t believe in salvation to begin with. Who do you think Jesus died for?

[anxietyproblem]

[excatholicatheistace]

I just remembered that there was a time of my life in college that I was convinced I was created to be a "suffering soul." I really thought my entire purpose in life was to suffer for God.

It's honestly really sad, but the Catholic Church breeds that kind of mentality.

Read some stories of the Saints. The underlying message is: You are worthless. You are pitiful. You have to suffer for God so that he will make you holier. You won't be a good enough unless you embrace suffering.

In reality, I wonder how many Saints struggled with Mental Health problems that could have been helped today.

[excatholicatheistace]

Trigger Warning: People justifying absolutely disgusting, horrible, evil things in the name of Religion. Please take care of yourself if you are Indigenous. You truly might not want to read this. 😭

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This is from an American Conservative Article on the topic of Residential Schools and Bishop Gardin's quote about wiping out entire cultures.

And while I can't fathom most Christians would actually say something so horrible, this is one of the biggest dangers of believing in a heaven and hell. You can justify so much evil if you believe you are saving people from eternal punishment.

I don't want to be anti-theist, but this is why so many people are (and why I do fight so hard against the Church). Some Religious ideas are too harmful and destructive to let it go. And they have gotten away with their toxicity for far too long.

[excatholicatheistace]

One day I told my therapist, "I'm so bad at making and keeping boundaries."

She said, "Okay. But, imagine this: you are a young girl and powerful men much bigger to you come up to you and beat your legs brutally. It's like being in that scenario and saying, "I'm bad at walking."

[excatholicatheistace]

I can't believe I used to believe stuff like this. It's so embarrassing.

I'm trying to be gentle with myself because Indoctrination is powerful. And the fear of hell is so real.

They tell you your *eternal* soul is at risk, of course you are going to hang in there through the doubts, through their bullshit, through the pain. And of course you are going to try to convince yourself in any way possible.

But, looking back, these kinds of sentiments are what kept me in the cult. Everyone told me I was demonic, but then I was also told that it was because there was something incredible inside me that Satan wants. It's a very manipulative cycle. And it works.

I am not unintelligent for falling for it. I am not weak. I am not defective.

I am strong for overcoming it all. ❤️

[apostate-in-an-alcove]

Catholics who keep trying to soften the severity of residential schools or defend them are ignorant, racist pieces of shit. Stop talking over indigenous people just because your precious feelings can't handle the fact that your church is responsible for cultural genocide. How dare you stare into the face of pain and suffering and try to justify it. How dare you look into the intergenerational trauma of indigenous people and still feel the need to defend the heinous actions of your church. How dare you look at grieving communities and still find a way to make yourself the victim. Just shut the fuck up already. Whitewashing the Church's crimes solves nothing and does nothing but placate your own feelings. Just shut up.