✷IRREGULAR POSTS!!!✷ (>‿◠) ℰℒᎯᎥℕᎯ ♬♎어서오세요~ ABOUT ME: 96-Liner | INFP Always in love with either: A. Unattainable, famous Korean Men or B. 2D Characters from otome games (Lucien-MLQC, Zen-MM) or C. All of the above at the same time ••• FOREVER IN LOVE WITH: -T.O.P (Bigbang) = my forever ultimate bias. ♡ -Sehun (EXO) = my ultimate ULTIMATE bias (Ideal type) -Hunhan = ULTIMATE OTP 💞 ~~~ "먼지처름 추억이 변해서 떠날까?" "평화에서, 하지 조각하십시오." Main Blog
"I'll hold you when things go wrong, you're the reason I believe in fate"
Characters: Xiao x Reader (Implied Fem)
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 4,100
Warnings: Reader is implied female because the recipient is female -> mentions "she" and "her"; also includes lines taken from Xiao's story quest + Lantern Rite Festival
A/N: This is my birthday gift for the biggest Xiao simp I know: @seerie / @wisteriea! Rie, happy birthday! I know it's way past your birthday, but I hope you had a great birthday! I am so honored to be your friend and I hope I did your favorite adeptus justice. I wish nothing but happiness and winning 50/50s for you!
Special thanks to @tartagilicious, because without her threat of logging into my Genshin account and leaving my characters to die, I would've never found the motivation to finish this piece (I finished your challenge with 5 minutes to spare)
Yes, this is a repost -> my tags are not working so please help me out
Reblogs are much appreciated! 🙏
PANACEA, Πανάκεια: Greek, (n.) a cure for all ills; a solution for all problems or difficulties
"Can you feel where the wind is? I'll hold you when things go wrong I'll be with you from dusk till dawn"
A lone figure stands off in the distance. It’s late, far too late for any creatures of this world to be awake, and yet, the figure is the exception. The moon illuminates his surroundings, casting his shadow onto the sleeping world. He grips a verdant spear tightly. Voices of despair whisper endlessly inside his head, but he merely grits his teeth, ignoring them. Xiao is used to this.
At some point in time, there is a word that comes to mind which perfectly encapsulates Xiao’s position. The people of Mondstadt call it Weltschmerz, or “weariness of the world.” Those who knew Xiao well would agree that fighting demons for many millennia would make one weary of such a world. And yet, Xiao perseveres, despite such weariness.
A quiet sigh escapes Xiao’s mouth before he leaps silently into the air, igniting his battles for the night. The battles that he fights are unknown to most of Liyue, however they are of the upmost importance. Each is only another step towards keeping the malevolent forces from invading the very city that Rex Lapis had so painstakingly built.
When the sky begins to tinge pink, inky stains slowly fading into soft hues of oranges and reds, Xiao makes his way home. No, not home, he corrects himself, merely leaving the battlefield. He cuts a weary line through the reeds of Dihua Marsh, exhaustion lining his features.
The voices of anguish start to overpower him in his drained state, and Xiao stumbles. He clutches his head as he drops his spear. A choked gasp leaves him. Xiao curls in on himself on the ground.
Join us! The suffering you have wrought upon us! Feel it! Die!
The whispers turn to shouts. Agony overwhelms him, pressing in on him until he can no longer breathe, and it begs. It tempts to give in, to dissipate into the darkness that had felled the other Yakshas.
Suddenly, lilting notes of a flute carry over the mountains to reach his ears, clear and pure. It dissolves the anguish, the cries. Silence had never been sweeter. It’s a respite Xiao had never experienced. Just as quickly as the pain had crept upon him, it disappears with the sounds of the flute being carried off by the wind. Xiao pants as he stands, leaning on his spear for support. He pauses to get his bearings in order. Someone with that kind of power could only be-
Xiao shakes his head. It is not his business to meddle in the affairs of the Archons, and he grips his weapon to carry on towards Wangshu Inn.
That was the first time Xiao had ever felt relief from his karmic debt.
The second time, many centuries later, is when he meets you.
≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾
How the two of you meet is purely by chance. You were helping out around Wangshu Inn since the owner, Verr Goldet, had helped you out in the past.
Seeing how the stars were out, you had decided to go up to the roof to take a brief break.
Xiao is on his way to wage the wars like he always does when he stops in surprise. It’s quiet. Around this time of night, it’s usually quiet, but this time even the voices inside his head seem to have quelled. Brows crinkling in confusion, he doubles back, and that’s when he sees you.
You’re leaning against the railing, enjoying the gentle evening breeze.
“Who are you? Why are you here?” A curt voice has your eyes snapping open in an instant.
Whirling around, you come face to face with a pair of amber eyes, glowing even in the dark. Verr Goldet had mentioned of him, the adeptus who leaves in the middle of the night to fight unimaginable battles. Xiao, the vigilant yaksha.
“Adeptus Xiao,” you bow in apology, “I’m sorry to have disturbed you.”
Xiao steps out from the shadows, lithe like a panther, and just as silent. “You know of me,” the scowl on his face is severe. You nod, “Then you should know not to hang around me. Leave. Now.”
“Wait-” But before you can plead your case, Xiao is already gone.
“You’ve already met Xiao?” Surprise crosses Verr Goldet’s face when you inquire about Xiao the next day, “That’s not bad. It’s not often he’s in a good enough mood to agree to see people.” She laughs softly, “But you mustn’t be too disheartened. Slaughtering the souls of so many spirits has racked up enormous amounts of karmic debt for the poor fellow. It’s not his fault he’s usually so brusque. He’s in an immense amount of pain.”
Your heart squeezes in sympathy at her words. The idea of anyone being in pain for thousands of years is not particularly appealing to you. “Is there any way to relieve that pain?”
Verr Goldet shakes her head sadly, “Human medication doesn’t work on the adepti. However, he might be in a better mood if you give him a bowl of almond tofu. It is one of the few human foods that Xiao likes.”
And so, with great care, you make a bowl of the silkiest almond tofu, and carry it up the stairs.
“Xiao? Adeptus Xiao?” You call it out softly. It’s only a matter of seconds before the leaves of the potted plant rustle next to you.
“You’re back,” displeasure is evident in the catlike eyes. Xiao glares at you. “I told you, mortal souls are not as robust as those of adepti, nor can your blood carry this level of adeptal energy.”
“Ah, I didn’t mean to disturb you,” you offer the bowl sheepishly, and notice the way Xiao’s nostrils flare. “I just made some almond tofu and was wondering if you’d like some?”
A muscle in his jaw twitches, “Are you trying to bribe me, mortal?”
Panic crosses your face, and for some reason, Xiao finds the action almost amusing. He presses his lips together. “No! It’s nothing like that! I just heard this is your favorite and I wanted to make it for you as an apology for disturbing you last night!” The explanation is rushed, words tumbling over one another.
Xiao crosses his arms, “Fine, I accept your offering and in return, I’m willing to protect you. But don’t think about getting close, and stay out of my way, or all that awaits you is regret.”
He leaves you that night with these words, an oath.
If you cannot bring yourself to kill – speak my name
If you awake to a knife at your throat
If monsters dig their claws into you
If death comes knocking at your door
Call my name, Adeptus Xiao
I’ll be here when you call
≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾
Ever since that fateful night, the two of you do end up getting close, much to Xiao’s chagrin. You were curious to know about him, and keen to find a way to alleviate his pain. And for Xiao… Every time you came into his vicinity, the screams of agony would mysteriously quieten. He couldn’t understand it, nor could he figure out the mechanics. But he could not bring himself to part with you either. The silence was addictive, calming. And unknowingly, he begins to enjoy the moments that he spends with you, with your incessant chattering that should be an annoyance to him. Xiao would never admit it, but the sound of your voice soothes him, just like how the sound of the Dihua flute did many centuries ago.
The few people that Xiao had unwillingly let into his life began to notice these changes about him. Whenever Xiao was with you, or had just spent time with you, while still reserved, he appeared much more relaxed. They deduced that it was all due to you. Whatever your methods were, they were not interested. They were simply happy to see the adeptus no longer in pain.
Without voices screaming in constant pain inside his head, Xiao became less terse. But if you or anyone mention any of these changes, Xiao would instantly revert to the Xiao of before. So people would take great care in not teasing the adeptus, lest he unleashes his anger once again.
≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾
“Are you really not going to see the lanterns?” You trail helplessly behind Xiao as he makes his way up to Wangshu Inn’s balcony.
“No,” his answer is clipped, “I am not partial to crowded areas. Especially at this time of the year.”
“But…the people of Liyue are celebrating the adepti for saving their city. You’re one of the heroes,” you try to argue.
Xiao scoffs, annoyance thick in his voice, “The Lantern Rite is nothing but a time for humans to discard their glowing trash into the sea. I’d rather not witness it.”
You worry your bottom lip between your teeth, “What if…I want to go with you?” the confession is hushed as you flush.
There is a silence that follows after your words. Xiao finally stops to look at you, “Why would you want me there? I’m…nothing like those people. Too long have I spent slaughtering, accompanied by the burden of suffering that follows in its wake. Crossing paths with all those jubilant people will only make me…” He trails off, lips thinning when he realizes what he said. Xiao jerks his gaze away.
“…Xiao…” your voice is sad, and he immediately bristles.
“Don’t you dare pity me,” Xiao scowls.
You raise your hands in defeat, sighing. “Then can you at least keep me company on the way to Liyue?”
He eyes you suspiciously, and when he deems you honest, he nods. “Fine, but only to the city. That’s it.”
True to his word, Xiao wordlessly escorts you to the outskirts of the harbor, before leaving you with a gruff “Stay vigilant.”
Unbeknownst to you, after he sees you off, Xiao retreats to a distant hill. There, he sits with a weary sigh as he watches over the city.
Humans were such silly creatures, believing that writing down words on pieces of wood would make their dreams come true. Xiao could not fathom the way mortal minds worked. It’s tradition, he supposes. Humans like tradition.
With another sigh, he begins to wait for the sky to darken. Because come every Lantern Rite, there is always an abundance of evil spirits taking advantage of the joyous occasion to wreak havoc. And like always, it is up to Xiao to vanquish them.
≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾
“Hello old friend, this is a pleasant surprise,” a deep voice sounds behind him and Xiao stands up respectfully.
“Sir…” he greets the former Archon.
Zhongli waves a hand, “It’s nice to see you at the Lantern Rite Festival, however…it seems as though the young lady isn’t with you.”
The casual mention of your name causes Xiao to flush, and he makes to leave, a puff of annoyance escaping his mouth, “I only made sure she arrived in the city safely.” He squirms under Zhongli’s knowing gaze.
“Hold on,” the simple command bides Xiao pause, amber eyes widening slightly in question. The elegantly-clad man smiles, “It has been a while, surely you can spare me a bit of your time. Come, let us chat,” he invites warmly as he casts an arm over the city. Bright spots of orange begin to glimmer in the sky like fireflies in the night. The people of Liyue are beginning to set off their lanterns and it won’t be too long before the indigo sky will be lit ablaze. Quietly, Xiao waits patiently for Zhongli to speak.
Brief moments of peaceful silence passes while the God of Contracts observes the flowing, golden river of lanterns. “How long has it been since we’ve known each other?” He finally asks, eyes still trained on the very city he had built from nothing.
“A very long time,” Xiao responds with a soft sigh before begrudgingly crossing the short distance between them to stand by Zhongli’s side.
There is a rueful smile at Xiao’s answer. “Indeed. Over these prolonged years, you, my dear friend, have experienced much agony, caused by my own hand. That is one of my greatest regrets to date.”
Xiao frowns, “But I don’t mind it. You saved my life.”
“Ah,” the Geo Archon nods, “You and I have a contract, which you have performed your part outstandingly. But it appears that you have received the short end of the stick. Which is why, dear friend, I think our contract will come to an end.”
“Sir-”
“You have fulfilled your end of the contract, Xiao,” Zhongli cuts off Xiao’s protest, “Exceedingly well beyond my very expectations. It is time for this contract to end, and time for you to discover how to live for yourself instead of following the orders of others.”
A pregnant pause holds over the two men as Xiao processes Zhongli’s words. “And what about the people of Liyue?” He asks finally, “What will happen to them now that I will no longer be vanquishing all these evil spirits?”
There is a satisfied smile which spreads over Zhongli’s face, almost as if he had been expecting Xiao’s question. “Mortals are stronger than you have previously believed them to be,” he says, “They can withstand great calamities.”
“Weak compared to you and I, perhaps,” Zhongli nods, “But no matter the occasion, they are resilient creatures. If they get knocked down, they will stand back up, always ready to take on any hardships that come their way. Look at the aftermath of Osial. Tell me, does this appear to you, a city that has given up?” He gestures at the lively harbor, sounds of celebration can be heard even from where they are. There are delicious scents that permeate the air and Xiao could see the people of Liyue laughing as they enjoy their festivities. Merriment envelopes the city. The majority of the lanterns had been set off, bathing the night sky in a golden glow, which rivals that of the stars. “Have a look at this,” the god stretches out an arm, and miraculously, a paper lantern floats gently into his waiting hand. “Humans place their dreams on such a tiny thing,” he takes out the wooden slip hanging inside the lantern, “This mere piece of wood holds the wish of one such individual willing to believe. That is rather admirable, I say.”
“It’s pathetic,” Xiao scowls, face scrunching in distaste, “This wood cannot protect them in times of danger. It cannot grant them great wealth or longevity, nor can it give them happiness.”
Zhongli smiles knowingly as he agrees, “Of course, but they are willing to believe that it could. Such optimism is commendable, no? What’s wrong with the humans wishing on a piece of wood? It causes no harm, yet it is something that gives them hope. Something to live for. Even if this world does come to ruins, would it not be better having hope by your side?”
How you love the things I hate about myself
That no one knows, but with you, I see hope again
Xiao is silent, but even he is unable to block the thought of you from his mind. You believed in these things, you believed that wishing on pieces of wood would grant your wishes. You were lively and full of hope, something Xiao could never imagine. You were the only one willing to disregard all the warnings he had given you, and somehow, whatever magic you possessed, had rid Xiao of the agony that raged relentlessly inside his head. And you were human, just like all of the people in the harbor that he can see right from where he is standing.
“Everyone deserves happiness,” the Geo God speaks up softly, “Including you, Xiao. Everyone deserves to have hope, to know what is it that keeps them going. Learn from the mistakes I have made. A world that you have fought hard to keep safe, but without the person who matters most in that world… Is that such a world worth living in?” He hands Xiao the wooden slip he had taken from the lantern. Xiao turns it over in his hand wordlessly to look at the wish that whoever it was had written.
I wish for Xiao to be happy
And darling, this is more than anything I felt before
You're everything that I want, but I didn't think I'd find
All the air leaves Xiao’s chest as he stares down at the wish, at your wish. The handwriting is obviously yours; Xiao had seen it plenty of times when you would leave notes for him. He’d memorized every swoop, every line, every curl.
“Wh-what is this?” Xiao’s voice is shaky, and he swallows hard. There is a foreign feeling stuck in his throat, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remove it.
The former Archon turns to face him finally, “Go on, dear friend, find your happiness. Find your hope. Find something in this world worth living for. The light of these lanterns is supposed to bring the protectors of Liyue home, and so I hope it can do something for you as well. You have been in this world for so long, and yet all you have experienced is pain and suffering. It’s time to be free. You’re living, but are you truly alive?” The question makes Xiao pause, but the god continues. “From this day forward, I, Morax, declare the end of our long-held contract, due to both parties fulfilling all the stipulations. I’m setting you free, dear friend. You’re free. I sincerely hope that you can live for yourself from now on. You no longer have to complete the arduous task of vanquishing demons. Unfortunately, I cannot do anything about your karmic debt, but…” There is a pleased upturn of Zhongli’s mouth, “It appears that you have already found something to cure your ailments.”
≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾
You’re wandering the streets of Liyue, tasting all the delicacies being offered from the various food stalls. A smile dances absentmindedly on your face as you savor the festivities, but somehow you couldn’t bring yourself to enjoy everything wholeheartedly. There is a forlorn sigh as you perch on the edge of an empty boat, face turned upward to watch the lanterns float away. If only Xiao was here…
Immediately you berate yourself, knowing full well that the amber-eyed adeptus hated crowds. You sigh dejectedly again, dangling your legs underneath you as you take out the second wooden slip. Staring at it sadly, another sigh escapes you, knowing that Xiao didn’t believe in wishes. But you couldn’t entirely quash the longing feeling. It would’ve been wonderful to set off lanterns together with Xiao.
“Why would you waste a wish on me?” A gruff voice suddenly sounds behind you, and you easily startle. There is a resigned sigh before a hand grasps your arm. It pulls you up. You straighten to face the disgruntled man, but his previous words does not go unnoticed by you.
You’re unable to stop the grin from spreading across your face. “Waste a wish?” You repeat, taking great delight in the way Xiao averts his eyes. “It’s only wasted if it doesn’t work. And it’s wasted if it doesn’t hold any value. So you do believe in wishes then!” The glee in your voice is unmistakable.
Why do I get so nervous when I look into your eyes?
And butterflies can't stop me falling for you
Xiao coughs, and you quickly note how the tips of his ears flush pink. “Pesky mortal,” he grumbles. There is a flick of his wrist and the wish you had sent up to the heavens earlier lands in your hand. “You’re supposed to wish for something for yourself. Is that not the tradition?”
“The wish is for myself,” you say defensively, fingers wrapping around the wood with care. Golden pupils narrow at you, but you continue. “You’re important to me, and therefore, this wish is completely and selfishly, for me and myself only.”
“You really-” Xiao cuts himself off. His arms cross and he aims a glare at the spot behind your shoulder. “Pathetic…” the usual comment is half-hearted.
His actions seem uncharacteristically tense. It makes you eye him curiously, “Is something the matter? I thought you said you wouldn’t come no matter what.”
Lips flatten in disapproval before Xiao sighs in defeat, “The contract…has ended…” The words are mumbled out, but you hear him clearly.
“Does that mean you no longer have to fight the evil spirits?” Surprise floods your voice, and Xiao jerks his neck stiffly, akin to a curt nod. “But what about…the karmic debt?”
“Well…” Xiao begins. He straightens and you swear that you can see something fierce shining within his amber pupils. “I think…I found a cure.”
“That’s…that’s great! What is the cure?” Xiao’s chest tightens at the genuine happiness in your voice and a ghost of Zhongli’s words whispers in his head. Find something in this world worth living for.
And he knew you were that something. That someone. The person who makes life worth living.
“You”
Someone who is worth the wait of all the years of my heartbreak
But I know now I found the one I love
Your head tilts in confusion.
“I’m only going to say this once, so listen close,” Xiao’s low voice cuts you off before you can ask. With wide eyes, you nod and Xiao swallows. “I’ve lived…for thousands of years and battled countless monsters and demons. The karmic debt that has accumulated was my burden alone to carry. The first time I ever felt relief was centuries ago. The second time…was when I met you…”
His confession is startling, and it renders you mute. Me?
“I don’t know how you came to possess such powers…but every time I am with you, you somehow manage to remove all traces of pain. I tried to steer clear of you because I didn’t want my karmic debt to affect you, and yet, it seems it has no effect. So…I want to…know more about you. I want to get close to you. Because it seems that you…are my cure.”
“Xiao…” you whisper, feeling tears spring to your eyes, and you wipe at them hastily out of habit lest Xiao makes a remark about mortals being weak. However, he doesn’t and is content to gaze at you. The flush on his ears has traveled to his cheeks, but his amber eyes blaze with a fervor that you have never seen.
“In addition to knowing more about you, I would also like to learn about the humans, about life. Will you…be willing to teach me those things? In return…I will…stay by your side.” I will protect this mortal and slay any monsters that come her way, Xiao vows silently.
“Okay,” you nod as you sniffle. Xiao breathes a silent sigh of relief at your answer. “I’d like that.” You break out in a shaky grin. “We can start with this,” with that, you retrieve the wooden plaque that you had bought earlier. “Why don’t you make a wish? We can send it off together.” Xiao takes the blank wood from you hesitantly. “What do you want, Xiao? Whatever you want, that will be your wish.” You help him out.
I wish for her to be happy, healthy, and safe
The words form instantaneously in his mind at your question. Silently, he writes the words down on the wood and hands it back to you with it facedown. He watches as you light a candle with care before setting it gently in a metal cradle at the base of the lantern. A smile dances unconsciously across your lips, and you hang both wooden wishes inside the lantern. His and yours.
“Ready?” You ask, your face bathed in a golden glow. Xiao nods. His hand comes to cradle yours. The two of you watch as the lantern floats away from your hands.
Humans are silly creatures, Xiao supposes, but there is a certain kind of beauty attached to the image of the little lantern floating against the darkened sky.
A being such as Xiao, might be weary of a world that he had spent thousands of years slaying demons. But such weariness no longer exists for Xiao.
Because this world has you
Come close, let me be home
I know it's worth it
Fin.
A/N II: Now I know what most of you are thinking. And it's probably along the lines of "Wow, Ela has been writing so much fluff lately, is she okay, whatever happened to angst, blah blah blah." I get it, I'm confused myself as well. Anyways, more fluff is coming and then I'll be unleashing my angst series *evil laugh* so enjoy this while it lasts. Also, Happy New Year! Thank you guys so much for all the love and support I have received this year. I honestly cannot thank you guys enough. Just know I love and appreciate every one of you ♡
TAGGING: @urujiako, @aph-disabledmusician
If you would like to be on the taglist for my future works, please send an ask or message my way! 💖
"Just run away with me darling, we'll get real lost"
Characters: Kazuha x GN!Reader (You)
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 5,686 (I’m very sorry, this is a behemoth)
Warnings: Kazuha's voicelines, Archon quest spoilers (up to most recent), some mentions of bullying at the beginning
A/N: I love this man so much that I really wanted to write him (and ended up with this monster). Enjoy this little bit of fluff before the angst start coming ;) Yes, I did get lazy on the last haiku. The story is split into seasons, but there's some time that passes between seasons. Prompts supplied by @tartagilicious and @seerie:
➳ "I promised to love you forever"
➳ "I still find myself falling asleep with you on my mind"
Also, I want to thank you guys so much for getting me to 400 followers! I never thought this would happen! I am so honored so many of you like my writing and I will continue to work hard!
Spring
Mouth pursed, vermillion eyes squinting in concentration, a little boy carefully holds a brush to paper. He watches as inky rivers flow together, blossoming into beautifully crafted words. The paper ruffle softly from the boy blowing gently on the glistening words, and he makes to wet his brush when-
“There he is!”
Raucous shouts of gleeful laughter fill the air. The sound of stampeding feet could be heard as a group of children rush into the once serene meadow.
Kazuha sighs. Quickly, he rolls up the paper with practiced hands and tucks it into his maple-leaf print sleeve.
“Oi Kaedehara!” A boy with shifty eyes, burly for his age, calls out as he approaches. “What are you doing?” The other children jeer when they get closer.
“Nothing that should concern you,” Kazuha replies, standing up slowly.
A scowl darkens the boy’s features, “You got something to say to me, Kaedehara?”
“Not really,” Kazuha says plainly, carefully putting away his brush and inkstone, a gesture that does not go unnoticed.
“What’s this?” The boy grabs a few papers scattered on the ground, the subject of Kazuha’s idle thoughts which had been long discarded hours ago. He scans them quickly and turns to his eager audience as he brandishes the paper like a trophy, “Kaedehara’s writing poetry!” He announces gleefully, saying the words with such a bite that he may as well have been saying that Kazuha was talking to himself.
The crowd guffaws noisily.
“Can I have that back?” Kazuha asks calmly as he crosses his arms.
“Is this what the Mighty Kaedehara clan is reduced to?” Another boy calls out amidst the clamoring. “Writing poetry?” His outburst incites another round of laughing.
“Poor Kaedehara,” the first boy mocks, “From samurai to starving poet is a long way to fall.”
Kazuha sighs inaudibly. He opens his mouth to say something, but another voice beats him to it.
“HEY! PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE!” An incredibly furious, albeit tiny, voice sounds from the edge of the clearing. Everyone turns to look for the source. Kazuha watches, slightly amused, as you stomp across the field and stop in front of the boy who had taken the papers.
The boy sneers, looking down at your small figure, “Mind your business, kid, this is between Kaedehara and me.”
“Why are you picking on him?” You glare fiercely.
“Cute,” the boy proclaims, “Kaedehara the samurai needs a kid to protect him!” He mocks and the crowd jeers. “Is this the legacy of the Kaedehara cl-”
The boy suddenly stops speaking, mainly because you sock him in the stomach, a very solid thump!resounding through the air. Everyone gasps as he makes a choking sound, the wind knocked clean out of him.
“You got more to say?” You make a fist threateningly and the boy gulps.
“Come on…. let’s go,” He rasps, gesturing to the other children. They eye you warily as they leave.
Kazuha watches them go, until every last one of them is no longer able to be seen, before he speaks. “That was quite impressive.” There is a hint of admiration in his soft voice.
“My sister, Beidou, always told me to stand up for others. I don’t like bullying,” you shrug, finally turning to look at your white-haired companion. “Why didn’t you fight for yourself?”
He smiles at that, “Sometimes, there is no need to fight.” He kneels to collect the hastily thrown papers, “But I guess in this situation, I had you to thank for,” Kazuha adds, straightening up to turn to you, “Does my rescuer have a name?”
You tell him your name absentmindedly as you gaze down at the black words. Though they were results of Kazuha’s wandering thoughts, each word was written beautifully with care. “Is that a poem?”
“Yes, it’s called a haiku,” Kazuha hums. With a firm hand smoothing out the crinkles, he straightens the papers.
“Haiku,” you repeat curiously. “It looks incomplete,” you study the words.
He reaches into his sleeve then and produces a neat roll of paper, “That’s because it is. Here is the final version, if you care to read it.”
Slowly and carefully, you unfurl the paper and read out loud:
Whispers of the wind,
Once on a gentle spring day,
My worries gone away
Your eyes widen slightly. The meaning of the words was lost on you, but the way the words sounded as they exited your mouth was beautiful, lilting like the notes of a babbling brook. It was like you were singing, without any melody.
Kazuha sets himself down on the ground, arms and legs sprawling without a care in the world as he awaits your verdict, vermillion eyes holding a touch of intelligence beyond his years.
You follow suit as you settle next to him, handing him back the honeyed words. “It’s very pretty,” you nod shyly. Kazuha smiles at the childish compliment and turns onto his stomach.
“Would you like to learn how to make your own haiku?” Kazuha asks, voice as soft as the whispering breeze and just as gentle.
Your head tilts in childlike wonder as you watch him set the paper and brush with the utmost care. “Me?” You ask in disbelief, “I can’t write like you! I don’t even know that many words!”
He shakes his head, pouring out a bit of water into his inkwell. “It’s not about the words,” he says as he picks up his inkstone. “It’s about the feeling.”
The soft scraping of the stone against the clay sounds oddly soothing and you move to peer closer at the inky puddle that is beginning to form in the tray.
“Poetry is all about your emotions,” Kazuha explains, handing you a brush. “Write down how you’re feeling, at this very moment.”
You push your sleeves back as you follow suit, clumsily dipping the brush into the ink.
Kazuha chuckles and he places his hand on top of yours, steadily guiding you. “Well?” He asks expectantly, “How are you feeling?”
You pause, thinking. Kazuha’s hand is warm. As is the sunlight beaming down through the trees.
“Comfortable,” you say finally, “Warm. Happy.”
Scarlet eyes widen slightly in surprise, before curving into pleased crescents.
Kazuha takes your hand and the two of you watch as black words begin to appear across the pure white paper.
It was spring, that you meet Kaedehara Kazuha, a wandering samurai who prefers wielding a brush and ink rather than a sword. His words was as soft as the spring breeze whispering through the trees which made pink blossoms dance. It was spring, that you learn how beautiful words can truly be.
Summer
“Hurry up!” A blue-eyed boy with two fluffy ears calls out, his tail whisking behind him impatiently, “Where’s Thoma?”
“Checking stock, I bet,” Kazuha laughs as he passes you a bundle, which you set down with care into one of the two rowboats waiting in the water. “You know how he is, Gorou,” he adds when the boy makes a face.
“Does he know we’re only going on a trip to Yashiori, and not Liyue?” Another boy in red says lazily from where he is sprawled out on the floor of the rowboat. You nudge his leg, and he barely moves for you to make your way in. A blue-eyed kitten peeks at you before burrowing further into his kimono.
“Tomo, stop sleeping on my fireworks!” A blond-haired girl yells as she comes running down the sandy beach.
“Yoi, why would you even bring them?” Tomo huffs as he picks himself up from the boxes.
“Just you wait! I’m going to make this trip unforgettable!” Yoimiya sticks her tongue out at him, climbing into the second rowboat. Tomo rolls his eyes.
“Sorry I’m late!” Someone barrels onto Yoimiya’s boat and Gorou grabs the person by the shoulders before he could fall into the water. “Thanks,” Thoma straightens up sheepishly.
Tomo finally gets up, “You’re just in time,” he says dryly as he takes upon the oars in your boat.
Yoimiya stretches and passes Thoma the oars. “You’re paddling first.” Thoma nods without complaint.
“Let’s go!” Gorou barks from where he is standing, bouncing his bow against the wood. His excitement is palpable, however, as his tail wags happily.
Kazuha chuckles as he settles in next to you, vermillion eyes sparkling with mirth. You could tell he’s in good spirits. The warmth of his body seeps through his clothes and it’s the comforting presence you’ve learned to associate with him.
“This calls for a poem,” Kazuha announces. You’re close enough to hear the way the words tumble out of his chest, that little rumbling soothing to you.
Everyone except you groans half-heartedly but waits for Kazuha to speak.
“Sun beat upon brow,” Kazuha muses, and he inhales. You follow suit. The air is humid, but not too uncomfortable.
“Well?” Tomo asks, pausing in his rowing. Kazuha motions with one hand, indicating that he’s still mulling things over, and everyone loses interest once more.
“Sea and sky like gifts from gods,” Kazuha turns to send a gentle smile at his rapt audience of one. You sit up a little straighter as you await his final line.
“A good time with dear friends,” he finishes, and you clap gently. The two of you have gotten older since you first met, but the wonder and impact of Kazuha’s words have not left you. The way he speaks, so sure and light, always manages to leave you in awe.
Later that night, everyone settles down to unwind after a day out at sea. Voices are muted as you talk in hushed tones, simply content to enjoy the time with friends. You’re resting against a tree trunk, Kazuha right next to you as he blows lightly on a piece of grass. You hum along to the tune he’s playing, and he smiles.
“It’s starting!” Thoma suddenly announces and everyone sits up a little straighter. You turn your face skyward and wait.
A brilliant streak of cobalt flashes across the sky with a thunderous BOOM! before bursting into gorgeous glimmers of gold. It’s the only warning you get when the entire sky explodes into a myriad of colors. Hues of reds, purples, greens, blues, oranges dazzle your eyes thoroughly. Everyone gasps in delight. In a fit of bravery, you set your head down on Kazuha’s shoulder. You can hear his heart resounding with the fireworks, a gentle beat that echoes your own. It was like you shared a secret, privy only to the two of you. Kazuha doesn’t speak, but he shifts ever so slightly, and then you feel the weight of his arm settle around you. He holds you like that as you watch the rest of Yoimiya’s fireworks show.
It was summer, that you find your friend group. There was Thoma, strong and dependable. Gorou, steadfast and fiercely loyal. Tomo, who enjoyed living life to the fullest. Yoimiya, bright and bubbly. The only constant, however, was Kazuha and you. While others came and went, it was always the two of you against the world, ready to take on anything. It was summer, the season of festivals, that you watch a fireworks show you’d never forget, with a platinum-haired boy by your side.
Autumn
The air is crisp as you inhale, a tiny puff of water vapor exiting your mouth when you exhale slowly. Kazuha looks back at you and extends a hand to you. “Not long now,” he assures you, helping you up the mountainous path.
You hum in reply as you survey your surroundings. The two of you were on a tiny island near Ritou, in time to see the red maple leaves. Just as the seasons had changed, members of your little friend group had come and go. Thoma had been offered a job working for the Kamisato Clan and he had accepted, taking care of the Clan’s affairs. Yoimiya had taken over the family business and had been quite busy making memories for various clients. Gorou had been scouted by the Sangonomiya samurai. There were talks of growing unrest between the people of Watatsumi Island and the Shogunate. You weren’t sure where Gorou stood on the matter, but you figured it was best to remain in the dark about such topics.
“What’s on your mind?” Kazuha asks quietly, breaking through your thoughts, as the two of you maneuver over uneven ground.
You shake your head, trying to rid yourself of worry. “Just thinking about the rumors,” you admit with a sigh, “Do you think they might be true?”
Kazuha pauses, pondering your question. “That the Shogun is seizing Visions?” You nod and your eyes fall on the blue-green Anemo Vision swinging lightly on Kazuha’s back. “I won’t pretend to know the Raiden Shogun’s thoughts, but I can’t understand why she would want to do so if the rumors are true,” he muses, “Seizing Visions will not have anything to do with her promises of Eternity. But I fear that Inazuma is entering a period of uncertainty.” He notices the way your brows draw together and the hand that’s holding yours tightens, “Don’t worry, whatever happens, we’ll get through it together, won’t we?” Kazuha offers you a warm smile. It’s enough to chase away the brisk air. You squeeze back and his smile widens. “Now let’s go see some maple leaves.”
You finally laugh, “It’s a shame Tomo is going to miss this.”
“His loss,” Kazuha shrugs, “This is what he deserves for wanting to sleep in.” You’re about to chortle when your breath gets caught in your throat.
“Wow…” You breathe, as the two of you exit out of the woods and emerge into a grove of scarlet maple trees.
It was absolutely breathtaking. A gentle wind ruffles the trees, and ruby leaves shake in their boughs, some flitting through the branches to land softly on the ground.
“What a beautiful red color,” Kazuha muses. You turn back to look at him. Kazuha’s vermillion eyes mirror the leaves, mirth sparkling within them. Grinning widely, you hold up your fingers in a box shape and make the sound of a camera’s shutter.
“Let’s come back next year,” you announce, filling your lungs with big gulps of air as you raise your arms above your head and twirl. Your steps throw the leaves into tiny whirlwinds.
“Sure,” he agrees readily, “When the maple leaves next bloom red, we shall return.”
You should’ve known that all good things eventually come to an end.
You awaken to the sound of someone calling your name frantically. In the darkened hut in which an old farmer was so kind to lend the two of you for lodging, you make out the image of Kazuha pressing a finger to his lips, sword at the ready.
“It’s Beidou,” he murmurs, passing you your katana, “Something’s happened.”
The two of you move out of the hut. “Sis?” You tap Beidou’s shoulder gently and she whirls around. She puts down her claymore once she sees it’s you. “What’s going on?”
“Finally! I’ve been looking all over for you!” Beidou speaks in a rushed tone, grabbing your arm.
Next to you, Kazuha stiffens. “Someone’s coming,” he says quietly as he draws his sword, vermilion eyes scanning the surroundings.
Beidou nods grimly, “It’s the Shogun’s forces, come on.”
“Why would the Shogun come after us?” You are tugged along, Kazuha making up your tail. The three of you move stealthily through the forest, bodies on high alert.
Beidou looks back at you, expression unsure as she stops. “It’s…our parents,” she says finally, “They tried to fight the Vision Hunt Decree…” Her words trail off, but the meaning is clear.
“No…” You breathe, unable to process the news. A hand lands on your shoulder. Kazuha. The comforting weight lends you strength.
The three of you start when you hear a clamor in the distance. “As the Shogun have declared, hand over your Visions!”
Beidou grabs your arm. “We have to hurry,” she hisses, throwing a look over her shoulder. “Thoma managed to get us a boat out, but we have to get there safely first!” You look past her, past the edge of the forest, and you’re close enough to make out a silhouette of a boat bobbing in the water.
The steps get closer and all of you draw your weapons, grim expressions mirroring one another. “We can’t make it in time,” you say softly.
Kazuha’s hand tightens around his sword, “Go,” he says, gesturing to the boat, “I’ll give you time.”
“No-Kazuha! What are you saying?” You reach for him, but Beidou pulls you back. “You can’t! Come with us!”
“I can’t leave Tomo behind,” Kazuha is calm. Too calm. It makes you want to hit him.
“But-” You are muffled by Beidou clapping a hand over your mouth.
“Silence,” Beidou whispers, her body is tense, and you hear fast approaching steps. “We have to go!”
“Go!” Kazuha hisses as he readies his sword.
“Kazu-” you reach for him, and he grasps your hand, interlocking your fingers together. “Will-will we ever see each other again?”
He tugs on your hand then and you collide into his chest. “Don’t worry,” he murmurs against your forehead, “Even if today is the day that we go our separate ways, I am certain that we will meet again, in some corner of the world. The fate that brings people together is not a cord so easily cut.” His voice is so sure, so confident, that you had no choice but to believe him. “I’ll be fine,” he quells the worries that were about to pop up on your lips. There is a faint sensation of something warm upon your brow, but the feeling is fleeting. “Go, I will find you in the wind,” he promises before shoving you into Beidou’s arms.
“I owe you one,” Beidou nods at him, “Stay alive, won’t you?”
The last image you see of Kazuha is one where his feet is planted shoulder-width apart, sword raised, ruby eyes glinting with determination as Beidou pulls you towards the awaiting boat.
It was autumn, that you flee from Inazuma, leaving behind your home, your friends, and a scarlet-eyed samurai. The air was as cold and sharp as the blades of the Shogun’s forces hunting you down. It was autumn, the time of farewells, that you learn that when the leaves turn red and gold, they symbolize departure and that you had to say goodbye to the one who wore the same patterns as the trees.
Winter
You pull your blanket tighter around your shoulders as you sigh, a white puff of smoke unfurling from your mouth. Every so often, there is a crunch as the Alcor scrapes against ice. A commotion breaks out on the deck below you and you peer over the crow’s nest just in time to see the children tackle one another playfully. Sea Drake barks something at them, but you’re too high up to hear. Another sigh escapes you and you turn your thoughts to what has been the subject of your worries for over a year now. A certain figure clad in scarlet maple leaves with a gentle smile. Kaedehara Kazuha. You had no doubt you would see him again. After all, Kazuha was not one to go back on his words. But it has been well over a year, and you were feeling antsy. Has something happened? You aided Beidou in helping lost Inazumans escape the wrath of the Shogun, but none of the people you picked up were of any familiarity. Hope had never seemed so bleak.
“Man overboard!” A shout breaks you out of your thoughts. “Man overboard!”
The words register in your brain as you lean over the railing. “What?” You yell to the lookout in the crow’s nest above you.
“Man overboard!” He replies as he points at the water. You follow his arm, and you can see a figure struggling in the water. All your breath leaves your chest in an instant. Whoever the person was, they had platinum hair. Could it be? Before you even realize what you’re doing, your body throws itself out of the crow’s nest as you slide down the mast with ease. The burn of the rope is what makes you come to your senses, but you pay it no heed. You’re fixated on the figure in the water as you drop onto the deck.
“Hey, where’ve you been--” you ignore Beidou’s greeting. With leaden legs, you walk unsteadily towards the rowboat waiting to rescue the man.
Time seems to stagnate, and your limbs feels like you’re trapped in amber. Please, you plead silently, although you don’t quite know what is it you’re asking for. You watch as Sea Drake grab the sodden figure to haul him into the rowboat and your breath catches in your throat. There is a red maple leaf emblazoned on the sleeve of the man’s kimono.
The man coughs and you stare as he opens his eyes. Startling scarlet eyes meet yours and you feel a year’s worth of relief cascade upon you.
“Kazuha…” you whisper, fearing that this was a mirage, a trick of the light, your longing manifesting into this hallucination. If so, the archons were playing a cruel joke indeed.
The man in question smiles and there is nothing that stops you from launching yourself at him. Familiar arms, albeit freezing and soaked, wraps around you. You inhale shakily, feeling the culmination of everything you have experienced in a year. It burns through your chest. The beat of your heart roars in your ears and drowns out everything. Your fingers reach out and touch something solid. He was real. He was here. “Kazuha!”
“I’m here,” he murmurs. You can feel his breath against your ear, and you knew he was no hallucination indeed. “I’m here,” he repeats softly until all your doubts, all your qualms disappear. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”
It was winter, that you reunite with Kazuha. The weather was cold enough to freeze even the mighty ocean, but Kazuha’s arms provided you with the ever-familiar warmth. It was winter, that Kazuha finally fulfilled his promise whispered to you long ago, when you were fleeing from the unforgiving metal of the Shogunate’s swords.
Spring
You’re fuming as you watch men load boxes onto the Alcor. In the distance, you catch sight of Kazuha chatting with the Traveler on the deck and your mood sours further. The Crux Fleet was preparing to bring the Traveler to Inazuma, and you were banned from coming along. Worse still was Kazuha planning to spend some time with the Resistance to give them his aid. You scowl harder as you kick a pebble viciously down the street. Ever since the Traveler arrived, Kazuha had been spending more time with them. He was undoubtedly fascinated by someone who could control the elements despite being Visionless. The frown on your face deepens, unbeknownst to your knowledge.
Why do you care?
A voice asks, uninvited, and it makes you pause. Why did you care?
“What’s on your mind?” Someone speaks behind you, and it startles you out of your thoughts
You lurch forward with a yelp and is about to fall off the dock when an arm wraps around your stomach, holding you securely. You gulp as you turn around to face your rescuer. “Ka-Kazuha!” You splutter, feeling like your heart is about to burst out of your chest.
“Sorry,” Kazuha waits until you steady yourself to remove his arm from your waist. “You seemed really deep in thought, did I ruin anything?”
“No,” you shake your head and sigh, averting his eyes. Kazuha follows your line of sight to the Alcor.
Kazuha stops to regard you seriously. You squirm under his piercing gaze and know he’d seen right through you. “It won’t be too long,” he murmurs.
“Must you go?” You ask hesitantly.
“Gorou needs whatever help he can get,” Kazuha admits, “And I think with the Traveler’s help, we can get the Vision Hunt Decree abolished. If I can help even the slightest, I want to.” There is a steady determination running through his voice. “After all, Tomo died for this. I want to honor Tomo’s last wish.”
“Do you really think this could be solved with the Traveler’s help?”
Kazuha nods, “The Traveler has already defeated dragons and ancient gods. I truly believe that changing times are upon us.”
You smile bitterly, ignoring the pang in your chest when Kazuha mentions the Traveler. Why were you so affected by this?
You were so focused on your internal thoughts that you miss Kazuha’s look of concern as he gently holds your arm to stop you. “Are you okay?” He asks you carefully, ruby eyes scanning yours.
“I’m fine,” you brave a sad attempt at a smile, but Kazuha’s expression tells you he’s not convinced. Truth be told, you didn’t even know why you were acting like this.
“It’ll finally be over soon,” his voice is the gentlest you’ve ever heard, “I’ll write you whenever I can,” Kazuha promises, vermillion eyes shining earnestly.
It was spring again that you send off Kazuha back to Inazuma, with the hope that the Vision Hunt Decree would be removed. Kazuha said his farewells with the promise of sending you letters. It was spring that there were some things left unspoken between the two of you. It was spring that you discover that foreign feelings would sprout within you whenever a certain ronin with the spirit of a wanderer comes to mind.
Summer
You tear open a letter eagerly, scanning the name of the sender. Kazuha’s name is printed neatly on the envelope, as is custom of his letters. True to his promise, Kazuha wrote to you regularly over the past two months he was gone. Inside each letter, he always tucked in a red maple leaf with a haiku printed neatly on it. His haikus ranged from daily events to descriptions of beautiful sceneries. You kept every single maple leaf as each one was a dear treasure.
Your eyes widen in surprise as you read Kazuha’s latest letter. In it, he tells you that the Traveler had successfully defeated the Shogun and that the Vision Hunt Decree had ended.
“By the time you read this, I shall already be on my way back.”
You reread the words. Hope soars in your chest and you can’t stop the broad grin that splits your cheeks open. Kazuha is coming back. You flip over the letter, expecting to see the customary red maple leaf attached to the back, when your smile slides off your face. There is no leaf, no haiku. You pull open the envelope to double check. Nothing. Why is there no haiku?
Over the next two days, you’re unable to sleep, staying up late to ponder what had changed. The next morning, there is a hint of excitement in Liyue Harbor. Whispers of “The Crux Fleet is back!” and “The Traveler defeated the Raiden Shogun!”ring through the air, as you make your way to the docks. Your heart hammers nervously at the sight of the Alcor pulling into the harbor. Your thoughts are a jumbled mess as you search for the first sign of Kazuha. The missing haiku had plagued you for several nights. You want to know the reason why, but you’re scared that something had changed, that Kazuha had changed.
The Alcor gets closer and you’re able to see the faces of the crew members. You spot Kazuha leaning over the railing and raises your hand to wave at him. Suddenly, you’re unable to breathe. There is a dull roar in your ears as you stare at the sight in front of you. Kazuha is smiling at the Traveler, with the crinkles in the corners of his eyes that only come out when he is truly happy. You’ve only seen that smile twice. The first time during the fireworks show so long ago and the second when you pulled him out of the ocean. A sharp pain pierces through you, and you stagger. Your lungs feel like they’re squeezing together. It’s crushing. It’s the worst pain you have ever experienced.
That’s why there was no haiku, a voice whispers from the depths of your muddled mind.
A sob breaks out of your mouth, making a nearby child look at you curiously. You slap your hands over your mouth as you rush from the harbor. You miss Kazuha scan the crowds, however, frowning when he sees your fleeing figure. You miss Kazuha excusing himself politely as he takes off after you.
You collapse onto your knees, when you’re a safe enough distance from the harbor, before you dissolve in tears. Your reactions don’t make any sense, but you’re unable to stop the sobs wracking your body and you curl into yourself.
Why are you acting like this? The part of your brain that remains rational screams at you. Why are you acting like some lovestruck fool?
Love.
Love.
Something clicks then and you break down into a fresh round of sobs when the realization struck.
You’re in love with your best friend. You’re in love with Kaedehara Kazuha.
But why would he want you, when there’s the Traveler, who can manipulate elements without a Vision? The Traveler who defeated the Raiden Shogun, the one who helped get rid of the Vision Hunt Decree.
Thoughts, so thick and poisonous, rob all traces of reason, that you don’t notice a gentle breeze fluttering around you.
Kazuha lands next to you, out of breath. His hair is plastered to his forehead. Panic crosses his face when he notices the state you were in. He calls your name urgently as he places his hand on your shoulder.
“S-stop,” you whimper, trying to hide your face.
He ignores your attempts, “What’s wrong? What happened? Are you hurt?” Kazuha is frantic. You try to fend him off weakly, but he’s not having any of it. Kazuha gathers you into his lap, tucking your head under his chin and wrapping his arms around you.
“Kazuha…please,” his gestures are warm, but they only send more daggers of pain into you.
“Tell me what’s going on,” he commands softly, but you shake your head.
How would you tell him? How do you tell him you’ve loved him for this long?
There is a finger under your chin. It tilts your face upwards. “If you won’t tell me what’s wrong, then would you mind if I tell you something?” Kazuha asks quietly. You’ve calmed down enough to answer him with a shaky nod. Sanguine eyes search yours and for the first time ever, Kazuha seems hesitant. “Did you notice something different with the last letter I sent?”
Your eyes widen, but you nod slowly. “A…haiku,” you breathe out.
“Yes,” Kazuha affirms your answer. “Did you wonder why?” You press your lips together as you avert your gaze. You’re not sure you’re ready to hear the answer.
“W-why?”
Kazuha smiles then. It makes your chest simultaneously soar and squeeze together. “It’s because I needed you to hear the haiku in person,” he admits, and you notice that the tips of his ears are tinged pink. “You were always my top supporter, so I figured it was best that you hear this haiku in person.”
You gape at him, mind furiously trying to process his words. “What is the haiku?” You finally managed to say.
His chest moves up and down as he takes in a breath, before he recites:
Sun and moon rejoice
Birds of dawn sing songs anew
Far from home, with you
Kazuha finishes as he awaits your verdict. You process the words carefully, “Kazuha…do you mean…?” You’re unable to finish your sentence, not daring to hope the words meant what you thought they meant.
Kazuha smiles and it’s that smile, the one he shows only when he is absolutely happy. “Did you know,” he begins casually, “Since that night you had to flee from Inazuma, I made a promise to myself. ‘I promised to love you forever.’”
All the breath you were holding leaves your lungs in an instant. If you had not been sitting down, you would’ve collapsed. “Ka-Kazuha…what are you saying?” Your voice is not louder than a mere whisper, for fear of breaking this wondrous dream that you were obviously in.
“I thought this was quite clear,” Kazuha states softly, “Ever since we’ve met as children, I’ve always held you in high regard, always admired your strength and your resilience. But I think it was being apart from you that I realized the admiration has morphed into love. I didn’t want to tell you when everything was uncertain, but now since things have been resolved, I wanted to be honest with my feelings. Every night, I find myself falling asleep with you on my mind. I want to be able to journey together with you for a long time. I want to see the beautiful sights with you. You allowed me to dream of things I’d never even dared to think of. So, if you accept, would you like to accomplish these things together with me?”
You’re speechless. Out of all the outcomes, you’ve never even dared to consider the one where Kazuha might return your feelings. You meet Kazuha’s eyes as he awaits your answer.
If this is a dream, then never let me wake up.
Instead of saying anything, you clumsily reach up to press your lips against his. There is a sharp inhale, and Kazuha takes ahold of your jaw before kissing you with the utmost care.
Three words are uttered in unison between the soft brushes of your mouths.
“I love you”
It was summer, that Kaedehara Kazuha, whom you’ve known since childhood, became someone more than just a friend. Summer was when the two of you affirm your affections for each other. It was summer, that you discover love came in the form of ruby-red eyes and platinum hair. Love was Kaedehara Kazuha, your wandering partner for life.
Fin.
Tagging
@ohmykazuha, @tartagilicious
If you would like to be on the taglist for my future works, please send an ask or a message my way! 💖
Upcoming works:
Part 2 of Childe Angst (Part 1: Hiraeth)
“Jar of Stars” 2 part fic with Diluc and Kaeya (separate)
Also, please don't be afraid to be mutuals with me! I'm looking for more friends!
A/N: Nothing in my brain except for Childe brainrot. This is my thanks for the man coming home to me twice three times and his bow -> definitely 100% self-indulgent. Published @ 8am
Special thanks to @tartagilicious for coming up with this prompt and brainrotting with me
Reblogs are much appreciated! 🙏🏼
“Forelsket” - Norwegian, (n.); the euphoria you experience when you are first falling in love
⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰
The weather outside’s changing
The leaves are buried under six inches of white
A blast of air hits your face, cold enough to make your skin feel like it’s peeling off, and you shudder, retreating deep within your scarf. The shallow breaths you take comes out in a thick, white fog as you survey your surroundings.
“I don’t see how this place has anything of value that’s in Zhongli’s interests,” you grumble to no one in particular. Nothing save for the howling wind answers you and your teeth rattle in your skull. You curse the ex-Archon as you trudge through the barren wintry landscape. It was he, after all, who had sent you on this absurd commission to find some sort of legendary mist flower.
“I cannot cross into the Tsarista’s lands, that would be trespassing,” Zhongli says, calm as ever, as he brings a teacup to his lips. The picture-perfect image of elegance. “But you are an adventurer, you can travel there.”
Thus, you find yourself in Snezhnaya, bemoaning your fate. He hadn’t left you with nothing, however. Tucked in your pocket was a map drawn by the man with directions. Now, if only you could get somewhere warm so you can look at the actual map is the real question.
You couldn’t entirely blame Zhongli though. It had been him who suggested the commission, but you were the one who agreed. It wasn’t a completely innocent idea when you offered to help Zhongli. After all, Snezhnaya is the home of a certain red-headed Harbinger, whom you’ve been missing just a little too much.
What? A voice pipes up, indignant.
You shake your head, “Stay on mission,” you mumble, trying to distract yourself. You press onward against the painful bite of the wind.
A/N: Nothing in my brain except for Childe brainrot. This is my thanks for the man coming home to me twice three times and his bow -> definitely 100% self-indulgent. Published @ 8am
Special thanks to @tartagilicious for coming up with this prompt and brainrotting with me
“Forelsket” - Norwegian, (n.); the euphoria you experience when you are first falling in love
⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰
The weather outside’s changing
The leaves are buried under six inches of white
A blast of air hits your face, cold enough to make your skin feel like it’s peeling off, and you shudder, retreating deep within your scarf. The shallow breaths you take comes out in a thick, white fog as you survey your surroundings.
“I don’t see how this place has anything of value that’s in Zhongli’s interests,” you grumble to no one in particular. Nothing save for the howling wind answers you and your teeth rattle in your skull. You curse the ex-Archon as you trudge through the barren wintry landscape. It was he, after all, who had sent you on this absurd commission to find some sort of legendary mist flower.
“I cannot cross into the Tsarista’s lands, that would be trespassing,” Zhongli says, calm as ever, as he brings a teacup to his lips. The picture-perfect image of elegance. “But you are an adventurer, you can travel there.”
Thus, you find yourself in Snezhnaya, bemoaning your fate. He hadn’t left you with nothing, however. Tucked in your pocket was a map drawn by the man with directions. Now, if only you could get somewhere warm so you can look at the actual map is the real question.
You couldn’t entirely blame Zhongli though. It had been him who suggested the commission, but you were the one who agreed. It wasn’t a completely innocent idea when you offered to help Zhongli. After all, Snezhnaya is the home of a certain red-headed Harbinger, whom you’ve been missing just a little too much.
What? A voice pipes up, indignant.
You shake your head, “Stay on mission,” you mumble, trying to distract yourself. You press onward against the painful bite of the wind.
"Just run away with me darling, we'll get real lost"
Characters: Kazuha x GN!Reader (You)
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 5,686 (I’m very sorry, this is a behemoth)
Warnings: Kazuha's voicelines, Archon quest spoilers (up to most recent), some mentions of bullying at the beginning
A/N: I love this man so much that I really wanted to write him (and ended up with this monster). Enjoy this little bit of fluff before the angst start coming ;) Yes, I did get lazy on the last haiku. The story is split into seasons, but there's some time that passes between seasons. Prompts supplied by @tartagilicious and @seerie:
➳ "I promised to love you forever"
➳ "I still find myself falling asleep with you on my mind"
Also, I want to thank you guys so much for getting me to 400 followers! I never thought this would happen! I am so honored so many of you like my writing and I will continue to work hard!
Spring
Mouth pursed, vermillion eyes squinting in concentration, a little boy carefully holds a brush to paper. He watches as inky rivers flow together, blossoming into beautifully crafted words. The paper ruffle softly from the boy blowing gently on the glistening words, and he makes to wet his brush when-
“There he is!”
Raucous shouts of gleeful laughter fill the air. The sound of stampeding feet could be heard as a group of children rush into the once serene meadow.
Kazuha sighs. Quickly, he rolls up the paper with practiced hands and tucks it into his maple-leaf print sleeve.
“Oi Kaedehara!” A boy with shifty eyes, burly for his age, calls out as he approaches. “What are you doing?” The other children jeer when they get closer.
“Nothing that should concern you,” Kazuha replies, standing up slowly.
A scowl darkens the boy’s features, “You got something to say to me, Kaedehara?”
“Not really,” Kazuha says plainly, carefully putting away his brush and inkstone, a gesture that does not go unnoticed.
“What’s this?” The boy grabs a few papers scattered on the ground, the subject of Kazuha’s idle thoughts which had been long discarded hours ago. He scans them quickly and turns to his eager audience as he brandishes the paper like a trophy, “Kaedehara’s writing poetry!” He announces gleefully, saying the words with such a bite that he may as well have been saying that Kazuha was talking to himself.
The crowd guffaws noisily.
“Can I have that back?” Kazuha asks calmly as he crosses his arms.
“Is this what the Mighty Kaedehara clan is reduced to?” Another boy calls out amidst the clamoring. “Writing poetry?” His outburst incites another round of laughing.
“Poor Kaedehara,” the first boy mocks, “From samurai to starving poet is a long way to fall.”
Kazuha sighs inaudibly. He opens his mouth to say something, but another voice beats him to it.
“HEY! PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE!” An incredibly furious, albeit tiny, voice sounds from the edge of the clearing. Everyone turns to look for the source. Kazuha watches, slightly amused, as you stomp across the field and stop in front of the boy who had taken the papers.
The boy sneers, looking down at your small figure, “Mind your business, kid, this is between Kaedehara and me.”
“Why are you picking on him?” You glare fiercely.
“Cute,” the boy proclaims, “Kaedehara the samurai needs a kid to protect him!” He mocks and the crowd jeers. “Is this the legacy of the Kaedehara cl-”
The boy suddenly stops speaking, mainly because you sock him in the stomach, a very solid thump!resounding through the air. Everyone gasps as he makes a choking sound, the wind knocked clean out of him.
“You got more to say?” You make a fist threateningly and the boy gulps.
“Come on…. let’s go,” He rasps, gesturing to the other children. They eye you warily as they leave.
Kazuha watches them go, until every last one of them is no longer able to be seen, before he speaks. “That was quite impressive.” There is a hint of admiration in his soft voice.
“My sister, Beidou, always told me to stand up for others. I don’t like bullying,” you shrug, finally turning to look at your white-haired companion. “Why didn’t you fight for yourself?”
He smiles at that, “Sometimes, there is no need to fight.” He kneels to collect the hastily thrown papers, “But I guess in this situation, I had you to thank for,” Kazuha adds, straightening up to turn to you, “Does my rescuer have a name?”
You tell him your name absentmindedly as you gaze down at the black words. Though they were results of Kazuha’s wandering thoughts, each word was written beautifully with care. “Is that a poem?”
“Yes, it’s called a haiku,” Kazuha hums. With a firm hand smoothing out the crinkles, he straightens the papers.
“Haiku,” you repeat curiously. “It looks incomplete,” you study the words.
He reaches into his sleeve then and produces a neat roll of paper, “That’s because it is. Here is the final version, if you care to read it.”
Slowly and carefully, you unfurl the paper and read out loud:
Whispers of the wind,
Once on a gentle spring day,
My worries gone away
Your eyes widen slightly. The meaning of the words was lost on you, but the way the words sounded as they exited your mouth was beautiful, lilting like the notes of a babbling brook. It was like you were singing, without any melody.
Kazuha sets himself down on the ground, arms and legs sprawling without a care in the world as he awaits your verdict, vermillion eyes holding a touch of intelligence beyond his years.
You follow suit as you settle next to him, handing him back the honeyed words. “It’s very pretty,” you nod shyly. Kazuha smiles at the childish compliment and turns onto his stomach.
“Would you like to learn how to make your own haiku?” Kazuha asks, voice as soft as the whispering breeze and just as gentle.
Your head tilts in childlike wonder as you watch him set the paper and brush with the utmost care. “Me?” You ask in disbelief, “I can’t write like you! I don’t even know that many words!”
He shakes his head, pouring out a bit of water into his inkwell. “It’s not about the words,” he says as he picks up his inkstone. “It’s about the feeling.”
The soft scraping of the stone against the clay sounds oddly soothing and you move to peer closer at the inky puddle that is beginning to form in the tray.
“Poetry is all about your emotions,” Kazuha explains, handing you a brush. “Write down how you’re feeling, at this very moment.”
You push your sleeves back as you follow suit, clumsily dipping the brush into the ink.
Kazuha chuckles and he places his hand on top of yours, steadily guiding you. “Well?” He asks expectantly, “How are you feeling?”
You pause, thinking. Kazuha’s hand is warm. As is the sunlight beaming down through the trees.
“Comfortable,” you say finally, “Warm. Happy.”
Scarlet eyes widen slightly in surprise, before curving into pleased crescents.
Kazuha takes your hand and the two of you watch as black words begin to appear across the pure white paper.
It was spring, that you meet Kaedehara Kazuha, a wandering samurai who prefers wielding a brush and ink rather than a sword. His words was as soft as the spring breeze whispering through the trees which made pink blossoms dance. It was spring, that you learn how beautiful words can truly be.
Summer
“Hurry up!” A blue-eyed boy with two fluffy ears calls out, his tail whisking behind him impatiently, “Where’s Thoma?”
“Checking stock, I bet,” Kazuha laughs as he passes you a bundle, which you set down with care into one of the two rowboats waiting in the water. “You know how he is, Gorou,” he adds when the boy makes a face.
“Does he know we’re only going on a trip to Yashiori, and not Liyue?” Another boy in red says lazily from where he is sprawled out on the floor of the rowboat. You nudge his leg, and he barely moves for you to make your way in. A blue-eyed kitten peeks at you before burrowing further into his kimono.
“Tomo, stop sleeping on my fireworks!” A blond-haired girl yells as she comes running down the sandy beach.
“Yoi, why would you even bring them?” Tomo huffs as he picks himself up from the boxes.
“Just you wait! I’m going to make this trip unforgettable!” Yoimiya sticks her tongue out at him, climbing into the second rowboat. Tomo rolls his eyes.
“Sorry I’m late!” Someone barrels onto Yoimiya’s boat and Gorou grabs the person by the shoulders before he could fall into the water. “Thanks,” Thoma straightens up sheepishly.
Tomo finally gets up, “You’re just in time,” he says dryly as he takes upon the oars in your boat.
Yoimiya stretches and passes Thoma the oars. “You’re paddling first.” Thoma nods without complaint.
“Let’s go!” Gorou barks from where he is standing, bouncing his bow against the wood. His excitement is palpable, however, as his tail wags happily.
Kazuha chuckles as he settles in next to you, vermillion eyes sparkling with mirth. You could tell he’s in good spirits. The warmth of his body seeps through his clothes and it’s the comforting presence you’ve learned to associate with him.
“This calls for a poem,” Kazuha announces. You’re close enough to hear the way the words tumble out of his chest, that little rumbling soothing to you.
Everyone except you groans half-heartedly but waits for Kazuha to speak.
“Sun beat upon brow,” Kazuha muses, and he inhales. You follow suit. The air is humid, but not too uncomfortable.
“Well?” Tomo asks, pausing in his rowing. Kazuha motions with one hand, indicating that he’s still mulling things over, and everyone loses interest once more.
“Sea and sky like gifts from gods,” Kazuha turns to send a gentle smile at his rapt audience of one. You sit up a little straighter as you await his final line.
“A good time with dear friends,” he finishes, and you clap gently. The two of you have gotten older since you first met, but the wonder and impact of Kazuha’s words have not left you. The way he speaks, so sure and light, always manages to leave you in awe.
Later that night, everyone settles down to unwind after a day out at sea. Voices are muted as you talk in hushed tones, simply content to enjoy the time with friends. You’re resting against a tree trunk, Kazuha right next to you as he blows lightly on a piece of grass. You hum along to the tune he’s playing, and he smiles.
“It’s starting!” Thoma suddenly announces and everyone sits up a little straighter. You turn your face skyward and wait.
A brilliant streak of cobalt flashes across the sky with a thunderous BOOM! before bursting into gorgeous glimmers of gold. It’s the only warning you get when the entire sky explodes into a myriad of colors. Hues of reds, purples, greens, blues, oranges dazzle your eyes thoroughly. Everyone gasps in delight. In a fit of bravery, you set your head down on Kazuha’s shoulder. You can hear his heart resounding with the fireworks, a gentle beat that echoes your own. It was like you shared a secret, privy only to the two of you. Kazuha doesn’t speak, but he shifts ever so slightly, and then you feel the weight of his arm settle around you. He holds you like that as you watch the rest of Yoimiya’s fireworks show.
It was summer, that you find your friend group. There was Thoma, strong and dependable. Gorou, steadfast and fiercely loyal. Tomo, who enjoyed living life to the fullest. Yoimiya, bright and bubbly. The only constant, however, was Kazuha and you. While others came and went, it was always the two of you against the world, ready to take on anything. It was summer, the season of festivals, that you watch a fireworks show you’d never forget, with a platinum-haired boy by your side.
Autumn
The air is crisp as you inhale, a tiny puff of water vapor exiting your mouth when you exhale slowly. Kazuha looks back at you and extends a hand to you. “Not long now,” he assures you, helping you up the mountainous path.
You hum in reply as you survey your surroundings. The two of you were on a tiny island near Ritou, in time to see the red maple leaves. Just as the seasons had changed, members of your little friend group had come and go. Thoma had been offered a job working for the Kamisato Clan and he had accepted, taking care of the Clan’s affairs. Yoimiya had taken over the family business and had been quite busy making memories for various clients. Gorou had been scouted by the Sangonomiya samurai. There were talks of growing unrest between the people of Watatsumi Island and the Shogunate. You weren’t sure where Gorou stood on the matter, but you figured it was best to remain in the dark about such topics.
“What’s on your mind?” Kazuha asks quietly, breaking through your thoughts, as the two of you maneuver over uneven ground.
You shake your head, trying to rid yourself of worry. “Just thinking about the rumors,” you admit with a sigh, “Do you think they might be true?”
Kazuha pauses, pondering your question. “That the Shogun is seizing Visions?” You nod and your eyes fall on the blue-green Anemo Vision swinging lightly on Kazuha’s back. “I won’t pretend to know the Raiden Shogun’s thoughts, but I can’t understand why she would want to do so if the rumors are true,” he muses, “Seizing Visions will not have anything to do with her promises of Eternity. But I fear that Inazuma is entering a period of uncertainty.” He notices the way your brows draw together and the hand that’s holding yours tightens, “Don’t worry, whatever happens, we’ll get through it together, won’t we?” Kazuha offers you a warm smile. It’s enough to chase away the brisk air. You squeeze back and his smile widens. “Now let’s go see some maple leaves.”
You finally laugh, “It’s a shame Tomo is going to miss this.”
“His loss,” Kazuha shrugs, “This is what he deserves for wanting to sleep in.” You’re about to chortle when your breath gets caught in your throat.
“Wow…” You breathe, as the two of you exit out of the woods and emerge into a grove of scarlet maple trees.
It was absolutely breathtaking. A gentle wind ruffles the trees, and ruby leaves shake in their boughs, some flitting through the branches to land softly on the ground.
“What a beautiful red color,” Kazuha muses. You turn back to look at him. Kazuha’s vermillion eyes mirror the leaves, mirth sparkling within them. Grinning widely, you hold up your fingers in a box shape and make the sound of a camera’s shutter.
“Let’s come back next year,” you announce, filling your lungs with big gulps of air as you raise your arms above your head and twirl. Your steps throw the leaves into tiny whirlwinds.
“Sure,” he agrees readily, “When the maple leaves next bloom red, we shall return.”
You should’ve known that all good things eventually come to an end.
You awaken to the sound of someone calling your name frantically. In the darkened hut in which an old farmer was so kind to lend the two of you for lodging, you make out the image of Kazuha pressing a finger to his lips, sword at the ready.
“It’s Beidou,” he murmurs, passing you your katana, “Something’s happened.”
The two of you move out of the hut. “Sis?” You tap Beidou’s shoulder gently and she whirls around. She puts down her claymore once she sees it’s you. “What’s going on?”
“Finally! I’ve been looking all over for you!” Beidou speaks in a rushed tone, grabbing your arm.
Next to you, Kazuha stiffens. “Someone’s coming,” he says quietly as he draws his sword, vermilion eyes scanning the surroundings.
Beidou nods grimly, “It’s the Shogun’s forces, come on.”
“Why would the Shogun come after us?” You are tugged along, Kazuha making up your tail. The three of you move stealthily through the forest, bodies on high alert.
Beidou looks back at you, expression unsure as she stops. “It’s…our parents,” she says finally, “They tried to fight the Vision Hunt Decree…” Her words trail off, but the meaning is clear.
“No…” You breathe, unable to process the news. A hand lands on your shoulder. Kazuha. The comforting weight lends you strength.
The three of you start when you hear a clamor in the distance. “As the Shogun have declared, hand over your Visions!”
Beidou grabs your arm. “We have to hurry,” she hisses, throwing a look over her shoulder. “Thoma managed to get us a boat out, but we have to get there safely first!” You look past her, past the edge of the forest, and you’re close enough to make out a silhouette of a boat bobbing in the water.
The steps get closer and all of you draw your weapons, grim expressions mirroring one another. “We can’t make it in time,” you say softly.
Kazuha’s hand tightens around his sword, “Go,” he says, gesturing to the boat, “I’ll give you time.”
“No-Kazuha! What are you saying?” You reach for him, but Beidou pulls you back. “You can’t! Come with us!”
“I can’t leave Tomo behind,” Kazuha is calm. Too calm. It makes you want to hit him.
“But-” You are muffled by Beidou clapping a hand over your mouth.
“Silence,” Beidou whispers, her body is tense, and you hear fast approaching steps. “We have to go!”
“Go!” Kazuha hisses as he readies his sword.
“Kazu-” you reach for him, and he grasps your hand, interlocking your fingers together. “Will-will we ever see each other again?”
He tugs on your hand then and you collide into his chest. “Don’t worry,” he murmurs against your forehead, “Even if today is the day that we go our separate ways, I am certain that we will meet again, in some corner of the world. The fate that brings people together is not a cord so easily cut.” His voice is so sure, so confident, that you had no choice but to believe him. “I’ll be fine,” he quells the worries that were about to pop up on your lips. There is a faint sensation of something warm upon your brow, but the feeling is fleeting. “Go, I will find you in the wind,” he promises before shoving you into Beidou’s arms.
“I owe you one,” Beidou nods at him, “Stay alive, won’t you?”
The last image you see of Kazuha is one where his feet is planted shoulder-width apart, sword raised, ruby eyes glinting with determination as Beidou pulls you towards the awaiting boat.
It was autumn, that you flee from Inazuma, leaving behind your home, your friends, and a scarlet-eyed samurai. The air was as cold and sharp as the blades of the Shogun’s forces hunting you down. It was autumn, the time of farewells, that you learn that when the leaves turn red and gold, they symbolize departure and that you had to say goodbye to the one who wore the same patterns as the trees.
Winter
You pull your blanket tighter around your shoulders as you sigh, a white puff of smoke unfurling from your mouth. Every so often, there is a crunch as the Alcor scrapes against ice. A commotion breaks out on the deck below you and you peer over the crow’s nest just in time to see the children tackle one another playfully. Sea Drake barks something at them, but you’re too high up to hear. Another sigh escapes you and you turn your thoughts to what has been the subject of your worries for over a year now. A certain figure clad in scarlet maple leaves with a gentle smile. Kaedehara Kazuha. You had no doubt you would see him again. After all, Kazuha was not one to go back on his words. But it has been well over a year, and you were feeling antsy. Has something happened? You aided Beidou in helping lost Inazumans escape the wrath of the Shogun, but none of the people you picked up were of any familiarity. Hope had never seemed so bleak.
“Man overboard!” A shout breaks you out of your thoughts. “Man overboard!”
The words register in your brain as you lean over the railing. “What?” You yell to the lookout in the crow’s nest above you.
“Man overboard!” He replies as he points at the water. You follow his arm, and you can see a figure struggling in the water. All your breath leaves your chest in an instant. Whoever the person was, they had platinum hair. Could it be? Before you even realize what you’re doing, your body throws itself out of the crow’s nest as you slide down the mast with ease. The burn of the rope is what makes you come to your senses, but you pay it no heed. You’re fixated on the figure in the water as you drop onto the deck.
“Hey, where’ve you been--” you ignore Beidou’s greeting. With leaden legs, you walk unsteadily towards the rowboat waiting to rescue the man.
Time seems to stagnate, and your limbs feels like you’re trapped in amber. Please, you plead silently, although you don’t quite know what is it you’re asking for. You watch as Sea Drake grab the sodden figure to haul him into the rowboat and your breath catches in your throat. There is a red maple leaf emblazoned on the sleeve of the man’s kimono.
The man coughs and you stare as he opens his eyes. Startling scarlet eyes meet yours and you feel a year’s worth of relief cascade upon you.
“Kazuha…” you whisper, fearing that this was a mirage, a trick of the light, your longing manifesting into this hallucination. If so, the archons were playing a cruel joke indeed.
The man in question smiles and there is nothing that stops you from launching yourself at him. Familiar arms, albeit freezing and soaked, wraps around you. You inhale shakily, feeling the culmination of everything you have experienced in a year. It burns through your chest. The beat of your heart roars in your ears and drowns out everything. Your fingers reach out and touch something solid. He was real. He was here. “Kazuha!”
“I’m here,” he murmurs. You can feel his breath against your ear, and you knew he was no hallucination indeed. “I’m here,” he repeats softly until all your doubts, all your qualms disappear. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”
It was winter, that you reunite with Kazuha. The weather was cold enough to freeze even the mighty ocean, but Kazuha’s arms provided you with the ever-familiar warmth. It was winter, that Kazuha finally fulfilled his promise whispered to you long ago, when you were fleeing from the unforgiving metal of the Shogunate’s swords.
Spring
You’re fuming as you watch men load boxes onto the Alcor. In the distance, you catch sight of Kazuha chatting with the Traveler on the deck and your mood sours further. The Crux Fleet was preparing to bring the Traveler to Inazuma, and you were banned from coming along. Worse still was Kazuha planning to spend some time with the Resistance to give them his aid. You scowl harder as you kick a pebble viciously down the street. Ever since the Traveler arrived, Kazuha had been spending more time with them. He was undoubtedly fascinated by someone who could control the elements despite being Visionless. The frown on your face deepens, unbeknownst to your knowledge.
Why do you care?
A voice asks, uninvited, and it makes you pause. Why did you care?
“What’s on your mind?” Someone speaks behind you, and it startles you out of your thoughts
You lurch forward with a yelp and is about to fall off the dock when an arm wraps around your stomach, holding you securely. You gulp as you turn around to face your rescuer. “Ka-Kazuha!” You splutter, feeling like your heart is about to burst out of your chest.
“Sorry,” Kazuha waits until you steady yourself to remove his arm from your waist. “You seemed really deep in thought, did I ruin anything?”
“No,” you shake your head and sigh, averting his eyes. Kazuha follows your line of sight to the Alcor.
Kazuha stops to regard you seriously. You squirm under his piercing gaze and know he’d seen right through you. “It won’t be too long,” he murmurs.
“Must you go?” You ask hesitantly.
“Gorou needs whatever help he can get,” Kazuha admits, “And I think with the Traveler’s help, we can get the Vision Hunt Decree abolished. If I can help even the slightest, I want to.” There is a steady determination running through his voice. “After all, Tomo died for this. I want to honor Tomo’s last wish.”
“Do you really think this could be solved with the Traveler’s help?”
Kazuha nods, “The Traveler has already defeated dragons and ancient gods. I truly believe that changing times are upon us.”
You smile bitterly, ignoring the pang in your chest when Kazuha mentions the Traveler. Why were you so affected by this?
You were so focused on your internal thoughts that you miss Kazuha’s look of concern as he gently holds your arm to stop you. “Are you okay?” He asks you carefully, ruby eyes scanning yours.
“I’m fine,” you brave a sad attempt at a smile, but Kazuha’s expression tells you he’s not convinced. Truth be told, you didn’t even know why you were acting like this.
“It’ll finally be over soon,” his voice is the gentlest you’ve ever heard, “I’ll write you whenever I can,” Kazuha promises, vermillion eyes shining earnestly.
It was spring again that you send off Kazuha back to Inazuma, with the hope that the Vision Hunt Decree would be removed. Kazuha said his farewells with the promise of sending you letters. It was spring that there were some things left unspoken between the two of you. It was spring that you discover that foreign feelings would sprout within you whenever a certain ronin with the spirit of a wanderer comes to mind.
Summer
You tear open a letter eagerly, scanning the name of the sender. Kazuha’s name is printed neatly on the envelope, as is custom of his letters. True to his promise, Kazuha wrote to you regularly over the past two months he was gone. Inside each letter, he always tucked in a red maple leaf with a haiku printed neatly on it. His haikus ranged from daily events to descriptions of beautiful sceneries. You kept every single maple leaf as each one was a dear treasure.
Your eyes widen in surprise as you read Kazuha’s latest letter. In it, he tells you that the Traveler had successfully defeated the Shogun and that the Vision Hunt Decree had ended.
“By the time you read this, I shall already be on my way back.”
You reread the words. Hope soars in your chest and you can’t stop the broad grin that splits your cheeks open. Kazuha is coming back. You flip over the letter, expecting to see the customary red maple leaf attached to the back, when your smile slides off your face. There is no leaf, no haiku. You pull open the envelope to double check. Nothing. Why is there no haiku?
Over the next two days, you’re unable to sleep, staying up late to ponder what had changed. The next morning, there is a hint of excitement in Liyue Harbor. Whispers of “The Crux Fleet is back!” and “The Traveler defeated the Raiden Shogun!”ring through the air, as you make your way to the docks. Your heart hammers nervously at the sight of the Alcor pulling into the harbor. Your thoughts are a jumbled mess as you search for the first sign of Kazuha. The missing haiku had plagued you for several nights. You want to know the reason why, but you’re scared that something had changed, that Kazuha had changed.
The Alcor gets closer and you’re able to see the faces of the crew members. You spot Kazuha leaning over the railing and raises your hand to wave at him. Suddenly, you’re unable to breathe. There is a dull roar in your ears as you stare at the sight in front of you. Kazuha is smiling at the Traveler, with the crinkles in the corners of his eyes that only come out when he is truly happy. You’ve only seen that smile twice. The first time during the fireworks show so long ago and the second when you pulled him out of the ocean. A sharp pain pierces through you, and you stagger. Your lungs feel like they’re squeezing together. It’s crushing. It’s the worst pain you have ever experienced.
That’s why there was no haiku, a voice whispers from the depths of your muddled mind.
A sob breaks out of your mouth, making a nearby child look at you curiously. You slap your hands over your mouth as you rush from the harbor. You miss Kazuha scan the crowds, however, frowning when he sees your fleeing figure. You miss Kazuha excusing himself politely as he takes off after you.
You collapse onto your knees, when you’re a safe enough distance from the harbor, before you dissolve in tears. Your reactions don’t make any sense, but you’re unable to stop the sobs wracking your body and you curl into yourself.
Why are you acting like this? The part of your brain that remains rational screams at you. Why are you acting like some lovestruck fool?
Love.
Love.
Something clicks then and you break down into a fresh round of sobs when the realization struck.
You’re in love with your best friend. You’re in love with Kaedehara Kazuha.
But why would he want you, when there’s the Traveler, who can manipulate elements without a Vision? The Traveler who defeated the Raiden Shogun, the one who helped get rid of the Vision Hunt Decree.
Thoughts, so thick and poisonous, rob all traces of reason, that you don’t notice a gentle breeze fluttering around you.
Kazuha lands next to you, out of breath. His hair is plastered to his forehead. Panic crosses his face when he notices the state you were in. He calls your name urgently as he places his hand on your shoulder.
“S-stop,” you whimper, trying to hide your face.
He ignores your attempts, “What’s wrong? What happened? Are you hurt?” Kazuha is frantic. You try to fend him off weakly, but he’s not having any of it. Kazuha gathers you into his lap, tucking your head under his chin and wrapping his arms around you.
“Kazuha…please,” his gestures are warm, but they only send more daggers of pain into you.
“Tell me what’s going on,” he commands softly, but you shake your head.
How would you tell him? How do you tell him you’ve loved him for this long?
There is a finger under your chin. It tilts your face upwards. “If you won’t tell me what’s wrong, then would you mind if I tell you something?” Kazuha asks quietly. You’ve calmed down enough to answer him with a shaky nod. Sanguine eyes search yours and for the first time ever, Kazuha seems hesitant. “Did you notice something different with the last letter I sent?”
Your eyes widen, but you nod slowly. “A…haiku,” you breathe out.
“Yes,” Kazuha affirms your answer. “Did you wonder why?” You press your lips together as you avert your gaze. You’re not sure you’re ready to hear the answer.
“W-why?”
Kazuha smiles then. It makes your chest simultaneously soar and squeeze together. “It’s because I needed you to hear the haiku in person,” he admits, and you notice that the tips of his ears are tinged pink. “You were always my top supporter, so I figured it was best that you hear this haiku in person.”
You gape at him, mind furiously trying to process his words. “What is the haiku?” You finally managed to say.
His chest moves up and down as he takes in a breath, before he recites:
Sun and moon rejoice
Birds of dawn sing songs anew
Far from home, with you
Kazuha finishes as he awaits your verdict. You process the words carefully, “Kazuha…do you mean…?” You’re unable to finish your sentence, not daring to hope the words meant what you thought they meant.
Kazuha smiles and it’s that smile, the one he shows only when he is absolutely happy. “Did you know,” he begins casually, “Since that night you had to flee from Inazuma, I made a promise to myself. ‘I promised to love you forever.’”
All the breath you were holding leaves your lungs in an instant. If you had not been sitting down, you would’ve collapsed. “Ka-Kazuha…what are you saying?” Your voice is not louder than a mere whisper, for fear of breaking this wondrous dream that you were obviously in.
“I thought this was quite clear,” Kazuha states softly, “Ever since we’ve met as children, I’ve always held you in high regard, always admired your strength and your resilience. But I think it was being apart from you that I realized the admiration has morphed into love. I didn’t want to tell you when everything was uncertain, but now since things have been resolved, I wanted to be honest with my feelings. Every night, I find myself falling asleep with you on my mind. I want to be able to journey together with you for a long time. I want to see the beautiful sights with you. You allowed me to dream of things I’d never even dared to think of. So, if you accept, would you like to accomplish these things together with me?”
You’re speechless. Out of all the outcomes, you’ve never even dared to consider the one where Kazuha might return your feelings. You meet Kazuha’s eyes as he awaits your answer.
If this is a dream, then never let me wake up.
Instead of saying anything, you clumsily reach up to press your lips against his. There is a sharp inhale, and Kazuha takes ahold of your jaw before kissing you with the utmost care.
Three words are uttered in unison between the soft brushes of your mouths.
“I love you”
It was summer, that Kaedehara Kazuha, whom you’ve known since childhood, became someone more than just a friend. Summer was when the two of you affirm your affections for each other. It was summer, that you discover love came in the form of ruby-red eyes and platinum hair. Love was Kaedehara Kazuha, your wandering partner for life.
Fin.
Tagging
@ohmykazuha, @tartagilicious
If you would like to be on the taglist for my future works, please send an ask or a message my way! 💖
Upcoming works:
Part 2 of Childe Angst (Part 1: Hiraeth)
“Jar of Stars” 2 part fic with Diluc and Kaeya (separate)
Also, please don't be afraid to be mutuals with me! I'm looking for more friends!
"Just run away with me darling, we'll get real lost"
Characters: Kazuha x GN!Reader (You)
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 5,686 (I’m very sorry, this is a behemoth)
Warnings: Kazuha's voicelines, Archon quest spoilers (up to most recent), some mentions of bullying at the beginning
A/N: I love this man so much that I really wanted to write him (and ended up with this monster). Enjoy this little bit of fluff before the angst start coming ;) Yes, I did get lazy on the last haiku. The story is split into seasons, but there's some time that passes between seasons. Prompts supplied by @tartagilicious and @seerie:
➳ "I promised to love you forever"
➳ "I still find myself falling asleep with you on my mind"
Also, I want to thank you guys so much for getting me to 400 followers! I never thought this would happen! I am so honored so many of you like my writing and I will continue to work hard!
Spring
Mouth pursed, vermillion eyes squinting in concentration, a little boy carefully holds a brush to paper. He watches as inky rivers flow together, blossoming into beautifully crafted words. The paper ruffle softly from the boy blowing gently on the glistening words, and he makes to wet his brush when-
“There he is!”
Raucous shouts of gleeful laughter fill the air. The sound of stampeding feet could be heard as a group of children rush into the once serene meadow.
Kazuha sighs. Quickly, he rolls up the paper with practiced hands and tucks it into his maple-leaf print sleeve.
“Oi Kaedehara!” A boy with shifty eyes, burly for his age, calls out as he approaches. “What are you doing?” The other children jeer as they
“Nothing that should concern you,” Kazuha replies, standing up slowly.
A scowl darkens the boy’s features, “You got something to say to me, Kaedehara?”
“Not really,” Kazuha says plainly, carefully putting away his brush and inkstone, a gesture that does not go unnoticed.
“What’s this?” The boy grabs a few papers scattered on the ground, the subject of Kazuha’s idle thoughts which had been long discarded hours ago. He scans them quickly and turns to his eager audience as he brandishes the paper like a trophy, “Kaedehara’s writing poetry!” He announces gleefully, saying the words with such a bite that he may as well have been saying that Kazuha was talking to himself.
The crowd guffaws noisily.
“Can I have that back?” Kazuha asks calmly as he crosses his arms.
“Is this what the Mighty Kaedehara clan is reduced to?” Another boy calls out amidst the clamoring. “Writing poetry?” His outburst incites another round of laughing.
“Poor Kaedehara,” the first boy mocks, “From samurai to starving poet is a long way to fall.”
Kazuha sighs inaudibly. He opens his mouth to say something, but another voice beats him to it.
“HEY! PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE!” An incredibly furious, albeit tiny, voice sounds from the edge of the clearing. Everyone turns to look for the source. Kazuha watches, slightly amused, as you stomp across the field and stop in front of the boy who had taken the papers.
The boy sneers, looking down at your small figure, “Mind your business, kid, this is between Kaedehara and me.”
“Why are you picking on him?” You glare fiercely.
“Cute,” the boy proclaims, “Kaedehara the samurai needs a kid to protect him!” He mocks and the crowd jeers. “Is this the legacy of the Kaedehara cl-”
The boy suddenly stops speaking, mainly because you sock him in the stomach, a very solid thump!resounding through the air. Everyone gasps as he makes a choking sound, the wind knocked clean out of him.
“You got more to say?” You make a fist threateningly and the boy gulps.
“Come on…. let’s go,” He rasps, gesturing to the other children. They eye you warily as they leave.
Kazuha watches them go, until every last one of them is no longer able to be seen, before he speaks. “That was quite impressive.” There is a hint of admiration in his soft voice.
“My sister, Beidou, always told me to stand up for others. I don’t like bullying,” you shrug, finally turning to look at your white-haired companion. “Why didn’t you fight for yourself?”
He smiles at that, “Sometimes, there is no need to fight.” He kneels to collect the hastily thrown papers, “But I guess in this situation, I had you to thank for,” Kazuha adds, straightening up to turn to you, “Does my rescuer have a name?”
You tell him your name absentmindedly as you gaze down at the black words. Though they were results of Kazuha’s wandering thoughts, each word was written beautifully with care. “Is that a poem?”
“Yes, it’s called a haiku,” Kazuha hums. With a firm hand smoothing out the crinkles, he straightens the papers.
“Haiku,” you repeat curiously. “It looks incomplete,” you study the words.
He reaches into his sleeve then and produces a neat roll of paper, “That’s because it is. Here is the final version, if you care to read it.”
Slowly and carefully, you unfurl the paper and read out loud:
Whispers of the wind,
Once on a gentle spring day,
My worries gone away
Your eyes widen slightly. The meaning of the words was lost on you, but the way the words sounded as they exited your mouth was beautiful, lilting like the notes of a babbling brook. It was like you were singing, without any melody.
Kazuha sets himself down on the ground, arms and legs sprawling without a care in the world as he awaits your verdict, vermillion eyes holding a touch of intelligence beyond his years.
You follow suit as you settle next to him, handing him back the honeyed words. “It’s very pretty,” you nod shyly. Kazuha smiles at the childish compliment and turns onto his stomach.
“Would you like to learn how to make your own haiku?” Kazuha asks, voice as soft as the whispering breeze and just as gentle.
Your head tilts in childlike wonder as you watch him set the paper and brush with the utmost care. “Me?” You ask in disbelief, “I can’t write like you! I don’t even know that many words!”
He shakes his head, pouring out a bit of water into his inkwell. “It’s not about the words,” he says as he picks up his inkstone. “It’s about the feeling.”
The soft scraping of the stone against the clay sounds oddly soothing and you move to peer closer at the inky puddle that is beginning to form in the tray.
“Poetry is all about your emotions,” Kazuha explains, handing you a brush. “Write down how you’re feeling, at this very moment.”
You push your sleeves back as you follow suit, clumsily dipping the brush into the ink.
Kazuha chuckles and he places his hand on top of yours, steadily guiding you. “Well?” He asks expectantly, “How are you feeling?”
You pause, thinking. Kazuha’s hand is warm. As is the sunlight beaming down through the trees.
“Comfortable,” you say finally, “Warm. Happy.”
Scarlet eyes widen slightly in surprise, before curving into pleased crescents.
Kazuha takes your hand and the two of you watch as black words begin to appear across the pure white paper.
It was spring, that you meet Kaedehara Kazuha, a wandering samurai who prefers wielding a brush and ink rather than a sword. His words was as soft as the spring breeze whispering through the trees which made pink blossoms dance. It was spring, that you learn how beautiful words can truly be.
Summer
“Hurry up!” A blue-eyed boy with two fluffy ears calls out, his tail whisking behind him impatiently, “Where’s Thoma?”
“Checking stock, I bet,” Kazuha laughs as he passes you a bundle, which you set down with care into one of the two rowboats waiting in the water. “You know how he is, Gorou,” he adds when the boy makes a face.
“Does he know we’re only going on a trip to Yashiori, and not Liyue?” Another boy in red says lazily from where he is sprawled out on the floor of the rowboat. You nudge his leg, and he barely moves for you to make your way in. A blue-eyed kitten peeks at you before burrowing further into his kimono.
“Tomo, stop sleeping on my fireworks!” A blond-haired girl yells as she comes running down the sandy beach.
“Yoi, why would you even bring them?” Tomo huffs as he picks himself up from the boxes.
“Just you wait! I’m going to make this trip unforgettable!” Yoimiya sticks her tongue out at him, climbing into the second rowboat. Tomo rolls his eyes.
“Sorry I’m late!” Someone barrels onto Yoimiya’s boat and Gorou grabs the person by the shoulders before he could fall into the water. “Thanks,” Thoma straightens up sheepishly.
Tomo finally gets up, “You’re just in time,” he says dryly as he takes upon the oars in your boat.
Yoimiya stretches and passes Thoma the oars. “You’re paddling first.” Thoma nods without complaint.
“Let’s go!” Gorou barks from where he is standing, bouncing his bow against the wood. His excitement is palpable, however, as his tail wags happily.
Kazuha chuckles as he settles in next to you, vermillion eyes sparkling with mirth. You could tell he’s in good spirits. The warmth of his body seeps through his clothes and it’s the comforting presence you’ve learned to associate with him.
“This calls for a poem,” Kazuha announces. You’re close enough to hear the way the words tumble out of his chest, that little rumbling soothing to you.
Everyone except you groans half-heartedly but waits for Kazuha to speak.
“Sun beat upon brow,” Kazuha muses, and he inhales. You follow suit. The air is humid, but not too uncomfortable.
“Well?” Tomo asks, pausing in his rowing. Kazuha motions with one hand, indicating that he’s still mulling things over, and everyone loses interest once more.
“Sea and sky like gifts from gods,” Kazuha turns to send a gentle smile at his rapt audience of one. You sit up a little straighter as you await his final line.
“A good time with dear friends,” he finishes, and you clap gently. The two of you have gotten older since you first met, but the wonder and impact of Kazuha’s words have not left you. The way he speaks, so sure and light, always manages to leave you in awe.
Later that night, everyone settles down to unwind after a day out at sea. Voices are muted as you talk in hushed tones, simply content to enjoy the time with friends. You’re resting against a tree trunk, Kazuha right next to you as he blows lightly on a piece of grass. You hum along to the tune he’s playing, and he smiles.
“It’s starting!” Thoma suddenly announces and everyone sits up a little straighter. You turn your face skyward and wait.
A brilliant streak of cobalt flashes across the sky with a thunderous BOOM! before bursting into gorgeous glimmers of gold. It’s the only warning you get when the entire sky explodes into a myriad of colors. Hues of reds, purples, greens, blues, oranges dazzle your eyes thoroughly. Everyone gasps in delight. In a fit of bravery, you set your head down on Kazuha’s shoulder. You can hear his heart resounding with the fireworks, a gentle beat that echoes your own. It was like you shared a secret, privy only to the two of you. Kazuha doesn’t speak, but he shifts ever so slightly, and then you feel the weight of his arm settle around you. He holds you like that as you watch the rest of Yoimiya’s fireworks show.
It was summer, that you find your friend group. There was Thoma, strong and dependable. Gorou, steadfast and fiercely loyal. Tomo, who enjoyed living life to the fullest. Yoimiya, bright and bubbly. The only constant, however, was Kazuha and you. While others came and went, it was always the two of you against the world, ready to take on anything. It was summer, the season of festivals, that you watch a fireworks show you’d never forget, with a platinum-haired boy by your side.
Autumn
The air is crisp as you inhale, a tiny puff of water vapor exiting your mouth when you exhale slowly. Kazuha looks back at you and extends a hand to you. “Not long now,” he assures you, helping you up the mountainous path.
You hum in reply as you survey your surroundings. The two of you were on a tiny island near Ritou, in time to see the red maple leaves. Just as the seasons had changed, members of your little friend group had come and go. Thoma had been offered a job working for the Kamisato Clan and he had accepted, taking care of the Clan’s affairs. Yoimiya had taken over the family business and had been quite busy making memories for various clients. Gorou had been scouted by the Sangonomiya samurai. There were talks of growing unrest between the people of Watatsumi Island and the Shogunate. You weren’t sure where Gorou stood on the matter, but you figured it was best to remain in the dark about such topics.
“What’s on your mind?” Kazuha asks quietly, breaking through your thoughts, as the two of you maneuver over uneven ground.
You shake your head, trying to rid yourself of worry. “Just thinking about the rumors,” you admit with a sigh, “Do you think they might be true?”
Kazuha pauses, pondering your question. “That the Shogun is seizing Visions?” You nod and your eyes fall on the blue-green Anemo Vision swinging lightly on Kazuha’s back. “I won’t pretend to know the Raiden Shogun’s thoughts, but I can’t understand why she would want to do so if the rumors are true,” he muses, “Seizing Visions will not have anything to do with her promises of Eternity. But I fear that Inazuma is entering a period of uncertainty.” He notices the way your brows draw together and the hand that’s holding yours tightens, “Don’t worry, whatever happens, we’ll get through it together, won’t we?” Kazuha offers you a warm smile. It’s enough to chase away the brisk air. You squeeze back and his smile widens. “Now let’s go see some maple leaves.”
You finally laugh, “It’s a shame Tomo is going to miss this.”
“His loss,” Kazuha shrugs, “This is what he deserves for wanting to sleep in.” You’re about to chortle when your breath gets caught in your throat.
“Wow…” You breathe, as the two of you exit out of the woods and emerge into a grove of scarlet maple trees.
It was absolutely breathtaking. A gentle wind ruffles the trees, and ruby leaves shake in their boughs, some flitting through the branches to land softly on the ground.
“What a beautiful red color,” Kazuha muses. You turn back to look at him. Kazuha’s vermillion eyes mirror the leaves, mirth sparkling within them. Grinning widely, you hold up your fingers in a box shape and make the sound of a camera’s shutter.
“Let’s come back next year,” you announce, filling your lungs with big gulps of air as you raise your arms above your head and twirl. Your steps throw the leaves into tiny whirlwinds.
“Sure,” he agrees readily, “When the maple leaves next bloom red, we shall return.”
You should’ve known that all good things eventually come to an end.
You awaken to the sound of someone calling your name frantically. In the darkened hut in which an old farmer was so kind to lend the two of you for lodging, you make out the image of Kazuha pressing a finger to his lips, sword at the ready.
“It’s Beidou,” he murmurs, passing you your katana, “Something’s happened.”
The two of you move out of the hut. “Sis?” You tap Beidou’s shoulder gently and she whirls around. She puts down her claymore once she sees it’s you. “What’s going on?”
“Finally! I’ve been looking all over for you!” Beidou speaks in a rushed tone, grabbing your arm.
Next to you, Kazuha stiffens. “Someone’s coming,” he says quietly as he draws his sword, vermilion eyes scanning the surroundings.
Beidou nods grimly, “It’s the Shogun’s forces, come on.”
“Why would the Shogun come after us?” You are tugged along, Kazuha making up your tail. The three of you move stealthily through the forest, bodies on high alert.
Beidou looks back at you, expression unsure as she stops. “It’s…our parents,” she says finally, “They tried to fight the Vision Hunt Decree…” Her words trail off, but the meaning is clear.
“No…” You breathe, unable to process the news. A hand lands on your shoulder. Kazuha. The comforting weight lends you strength.
The three of you start when you hear a clamor in the distance. “As the Shogun have declared, hand over your Visions!”
Beidou grabs your arm. “We have to hurry,” she hisses, throwing a look over her shoulder. “Thoma managed to get us a boat out, but we have to get there safely first!” You look past her, past the edge of the forest, and you’re close enough to make out a silhouette of a boat bobbing in the water.
The steps get closer and all of you draw your weapons, grim expressions mirroring one another. “We can’t make it in time,” you say softly.
Kazuha’s hand tightens around his sword, “Go,” he says, gesturing to the boat, “I’ll give you time.”
“No-Kazuha! What are you saying?” You reach for him, but Beidou pulls you back. “You can’t! Come with us!”
“I can’t leave Tomo behind,” Kazuha is calm. Too calm. It makes you want to hit him.
“But-” You are muffled by Beidou clapping a hand over your mouth.
“Silence,” Beidou whispers, her body is tense, and you hear fast approaching steps. “We have to go!”
“Go!” Kazuha hisses as he readies his sword.
“Kazu-” you reach for him, and he grasps your hand, interlocking your fingers together. “Will-will we ever see each other again?”
He tugs on your hand then and you collide into his chest. “Don’t worry,” he murmurs against your forehead, “Even if today is the day that we go our separate ways, I am certain that we will meet again, in some corner of the world. The fate that brings people together is not a cord so easily cut.” His voice is so sure, so confident, that you had no choice but to believe him. “I’ll be fine,” he quells the worries that were about to pop up on your lips. There is a faint sensation of something warm upon your brow, but the feeling is fleeting. “Go, I will find you in the wind,” he promises before shoving you into Beidou’s arms.
“I owe you one,” Beidou nods at him, “Stay alive, won’t you?”
The last image you see of Kazuha is one where his feet is planted shoulder-width apart, sword raised, ruby eyes glinting with determination as Beidou pulls you towards the awaiting boat.
It was autumn, that you flee from Inazuma, leaving behind your home, your friends, and a scarlet-eyed samurai. The air was as cold and sharp as the blades of the Shogun’s forces hunting you down. It was autumn, the time of farewells, that you learn that when the leaves turn red and gold, they symbolize departure and that you had to say goodbye to the one who wore the same patterns as the trees.
Winter
You pull your blanket tighter around your shoulders as you sigh, a white puff of smoke unfurling from your mouth. Every so often, there is a crunch as the Alcor scrapes against ice. A commotion breaks out on the deck below you and you peer over the crow’s nest just in time to see the children tackle one another playfully. Sea Drake barks something at them, but you’re too high up to hear. Another sigh escapes you and you turn your thoughts to what has been the subject of your worries for over a year now. A certain figure clad in scarlet maple leaves with a gentle smile. Kaedehara Kazuha. You had no doubt you would see him again. After all, Kazuha was not one to go back on his words. But it has been well over a year, and you were feeling antsy. Has something happened? You aided Beidou in helping lost Inazumans escape the wrath of the Shogun, but none of the people you picked up were of any familiarity. Hope had never seemed so bleak.
“Man overboard!” A shout breaks you out of your thoughts. “Man overboard!”
The words register in your brain as you lean over the railing. “What?” You yell to the lookout in the crow’s nest above you.
“Man overboard!” He replies as he points at the water. You follow his arm, and you can see a figure struggling in the water. All your breath leaves your chest in an instant. Whoever the person was, they had platinum hair. Could it be? Before you even realize what you’re doing, your body throws itself out of the crow’s nest as you slide down the mast with ease. The burn of the rope is what makes you come to your senses, but you pay it no heed. You’re fixated on the figure in the water as you drop onto the deck.
“Hey, where’ve you been--” you ignore Beidou’s greeting. With leaden legs, you walk unsteadily towards the rowboat waiting to rescue the man.
Time seems to stagnate, and your limbs feels like you’re trapped in amber. Please, you plead silently, although you don’t quite know what is it you’re asking for. You watch as Sea Drake grab the sodden figure to haul him into the rowboat and your breath catches in your throat. There is a red maple leaf emblazoned on the sleeve of the man’s kimono.
The man coughs and you stare as he opens his eyes. Startling scarlet eyes meet yours and you feel a year’s worth of relief cascade upon you.
“Kazuha…” you whisper, fearing that this was a mirage, a trick of the light, your longing manifesting into this hallucination. If so, the archons were playing a cruel joke indeed.
The man in question smiles and there is nothing that stops you from launching yourself at him. Familiar arms, albeit freezing and soaked, wraps around you. You inhale shakily, feeling the culmination of everything you have experienced in a year. It burns through your chest. The beat of your heart roars in your ears and drowns out everything. Your fingers reach out and touch something solid. He was real. He was here. “Kazuha!”
“I’m here,” he murmurs. You can feel his breath against your ear, and you knew he was no hallucination indeed. “I’m here,” he repeats softly until all your doubts, all your qualms disappear. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”
It was winter, that you reunite with Kazuha. The weather was cold enough to freeze even the mighty ocean, but Kazuha’s arms provided you with the ever-familiar warmth. It was winter, that Kazuha finally fulfilled his promise whispered to you long ago, when you were fleeing from the unforgiving metal of the Shogunate’s swords.
Spring
You’re fuming as you watch men load boxes onto the Alcor. In the distance, you catch sight of Kazuha chatting with the Traveler on the deck and your mood sours further. The Crux Fleet was preparing to bring the Traveler to Inazuma, and you were banned from coming along. Worse still was Kazuha planning to spend some time with the Resistance to give them his aid. You scowl harder as you kick a pebble viciously down the street. Ever since the Traveler arrived, Kazuha had been spending more time with them. He was undoubtedly fascinated by someone who could control the elements despite being Visionless. The frown on your face deepens, unbeknownst to your knowledge.
Why do you care?
A voice asks, uninvited, and it makes you pause. Why did you care?
“What’s on your mind?” Someone speaks behind you, and it startles you out of your thoughts
You lurch forward with a yelp and is about to fall off the dock when an arm wraps around your stomach, holding you securely. You gulp as you turn around to face your rescuer. “Ka-Kazuha!” You splutter, feeling like your heart is about to burst out of your chest.
“Sorry,” Kazuha waits until you steady yourself to remove his arm from your waist. “You seemed really deep in thought, did I ruin anything?”
“No,” you shake your head and sigh, averting his eyes. Kazuha follows your line of sight to the Alcor.
Kazuha stops to regard you seriously. You squirm under his piercing gaze and know he’d seen right through you. “It won’t be too long,” he murmurs.
“Must you go?” You ask hesitantly.
“Gorou needs whatever help he can get,” Kazuha admits, “And I think with the Traveler’s help, we can get the Vision Hunt Decree abolished. If I can help even the slightest, I want to.” There is a steady determination running through his voice. “After all, Tomo died for this. I want to honor Tomo’s last wish.”
“Do you really think this could be solved with the Traveler’s help?”
Kazuha nods, “The Traveler has already defeated dragons and ancient gods. I truly believe that changing times are upon us.”
You smile bitterly, ignoring the pang in your chest when Kazuha mentions the Traveler. Why were you so affected by this?
You were so focused on your internal thoughts that you miss Kazuha’s look of concern as he gently holds your arm to stop you. “Are you okay?” He asks you carefully, ruby eyes scanning yours.
“I’m fine,” you brave a sad attempt at a smile, but Kazuha’s expression tells you he’s not convinced. Truth be told, you didn’t even know why you were acting like this.
“It’ll finally be over soon,” his voice is the gentlest you’ve ever heard, “I’ll write you whenever I can,” Kazuha promises, vermillion eyes shining earnestly.
It was spring again that you send off Kazuha back to Inazuma, with the hope that the Vision Hunt Decree would be removed. Kazuha said his farewells with the promise of sending you letters. It was spring that there were some things left unspoken between the two of you. It was spring that you discover that foreign feelings would sprout within you whenever a certain ronin with the spirit of a wanderer comes to mind.
Summer
You tear open a letter eagerly, scanning the name of the sender. Kazuha’s name is printed neatly on the envelope, as is custom of his letters. True to his promise, Kazuha wrote to you regularly over the past two months he was gone. Inside each letter, he always tucked in a red maple leaf with a haiku printed neatly on it. His haikus ranged from daily events to descriptions of beautiful sceneries. You kept every single maple leaf as each one was a dear treasure.
Your eyes widen in surprise as you read Kazuha’s latest letter. In it, he tells you that the Traveler had successfully defeated the Shogun and that the Vision Hunt Decree had ended.
“By the time you read this, I shall already be on my way back.”
You reread the words. Hope soars in your chest and you can’t stop the broad grin that splits your cheeks open. Kazuha is coming back. You flip over the letter, expecting to see the customary red maple leaf attached to the back, when your smile slides off your face. There is no leaf, no haiku. You pull open the envelope to double check. Nothing. Why is there no haiku?
Over the next two days, you’re unable to sleep, staying up late to ponder what had changed. The next morning, there is a hint of excitement in Liyue Harbor. Whispers of “The Crux Fleet is back!” and “The Traveler defeated the Raiden Shogun!”ring through the air, as you make your way to the docks. Your heart hammers nervously at the sight of the Alcor pulling into the harbor. Your thoughts are a jumbled mess as you search for the first sign of Kazuha. The missing haiku had plagued you for several nights. You want to know the reason why, but you’re scared that something had changed, that Kazuha had changed.
The Alcor gets closer and you’re able to see the faces of the crew members. You spot Kazuha leaning over the railing and raises your hand to wave at him. Suddenly, you’re unable to breathe. There is a dull roar in your ears as you stare at the sight in front of you. Kazuha is smiling at the Traveler, with the crinkles in the corners of his eyes that only come out when he is truly happy. You’ve only seen that smile twice. The first time during the fireworks show so long ago and the second when you pulled him out of the ocean. A sharp pain pierces through you, and you stagger. Your lungs feel like they’re squeezing together. It’s crushing. It’s the worst pain you have ever experienced.
That’s why there was no haiku, a voice whispers from the depths of your muddled mind.
A sob breaks out of your mouth, making a nearby child look at you curiously. You slap your hands over your mouth as you rush from the harbor. You miss Kazuha scan the crowds, however, frowning when he sees your fleeing figure. You miss Kazuha excusing himself politely as he takes off after you.
You collapse onto your knees, when you’re a safe enough distance from the harbor, before you dissolve in tears. Your reactions don’t make any sense, but you’re unable to stop the sobs wracking your body and you curl into yourself.
Why are you acting like this? The part of your brain that remains rational screams at you. Why are you acting like some lovestruck fool?
Love.
Love.
Something clicks then and you break down into a fresh round of sobs when the realization struck.
You’re in love with your best friend. You’re in love with Kaedehara Kazuha.
But why would he want you, when there’s the Traveler, who can manipulate elements without a Vision? The Traveler who defeated the Raiden Shogun, the one who helped get rid of the Vision Hunt Decree.
Thoughts, so thick and poisonous, rob all traces of reason, that you don’t notice a gentle breeze fluttering around you.
Kazuha lands next to you, out of breath. His hair is plastered to his forehead. Panic crosses his face when he notices the state you were in. He calls your name urgently as he places his hand on your shoulder.
“S-stop,” you whimper, trying to hide your face.
He ignores your attempts, “What’s wrong? What happened? Are you hurt?” Kazuha is frantic. You try to fend him off weakly, but he’s not having any of it. Kazuha gathers you into his lap, tucking your head under his chin and wrapping his arms around you.
“Kazuha…please,” his gestures are warm, but they only send more daggers of pain into you.
“Tell me what’s going on,” he commands softly, but you shake your head.
How would you tell him? How do you tell him you’ve loved him for this long?
There is a finger under your chin. It tilts your face upwards. “If you won’t tell me what’s wrong, then would you mind if I tell you something?” Kazuha asks quietly. You’ve calmed down enough to answer him with a shaky nod. Sanguine eyes search yours and for the first time ever, Kazuha seems hesitant. “Did you notice something different with the last letter I sent?”
Your eyes widen, but you nod slowly. “A…haiku,” you breathe out.
“Yes,” Kazuha affirms your answer. “Did you wonder why?” You press your lips together as you avert your gaze. You’re not sure you’re ready to hear the answer.
“W-why?”
Kazuha smiles then. It makes your chest simultaneously soar and squeeze together. “It’s because I needed you to hear the haiku in person,” he admits, and you notice that the tips of his ears are tinged pink. “You were always my top supporter, so I figured it was best that you hear this haiku in person.”
You gape at him, mind furiously trying to process his words. “What is the haiku?” You finally managed to say.
His chest moves up and down as he takes in a breath, before he recites:
Sun and moon rejoice
Birds of dawn sing songs anew
Far from home, with you
Kazuha finishes as he awaits your verdict. You process the words carefully, “Kazuha…do you mean…?” You’re unable to finish your sentence, not daring to hope the words meant what you thought they meant.
Kazuha smiles and it’s that smile, the one he shows only when he is absolutely happy. “Did you know,” he begins casually, “Since that night you had to flee from Inazuma, I made a promise to myself. ‘I promised to love you forever.’”
All the breath you were holding leaves your lungs in an instant. If you had not been sitting down, you would’ve collapsed. “Ka-Kazuha…what are you saying?” Your voice is not louder than a mere whisper, for fear of breaking this wondrous dream that you were obviously in.
“I thought this was quite clear,” Kazuha states softly, “Ever since we’ve met as children, I’ve always held you in high regard, always admired your strength and your resilience. But I think it was being apart from you that I realized the admiration has morphed into love. I didn’t want to tell you when everything was uncertain, but now since things have been resolved, I wanted to be honest with my feelings. Every night, I find myself falling asleep with you on my mind. I want to be able to journey together with you for a long time. I want to see the beautiful sights with you. You allowed me to dream of things I’d never even dared to think of. So, if you accept, would you like to accomplish these things together with me?”
You’re speechless. Out of all the outcomes, you’ve never even dared to consider the one where Kazuha might return your feelings. You meet Kazuha’s eyes as he awaits your answer.
If this is a dream, then never let me wake up.
Instead of saying anything, you clumsily reach up to press your lips against his. There is a sharp inhale, and Kazuha takes ahold of your jaw before kissing you with the utmost care.
Three words are uttered in unison between the soft brushes of your mouths.
“I love you”
It was summer, that Kaedehara Kazuha, whom you’ve known since childhood, became someone more than just a friend. Summer was when the two of you affirm your affections for each other. It was summer, that you discover love came in the form of ruby-red eyes and platinum hair. Love was Kaedehara Kazuha, your wandering partner for life.
Fin.
Tagging
@ohmykazuha, @tartagilicious
If you would like to be on the taglist for my future works, please send an ask or a message my way! 💖
Upcoming works:
Part 2 of Childe Angst (Part 1: Hiraeth)
“Jar of Stars” 2 part fic with Diluc and Kaeya (separate)
Also, please don't be afraid to be mutuals with me! I'm looking for more friends!
I am so surprised to gain 32 new followers after publishing my Childe angst
Thank you guys so so much, I never expected this to happen to be quite honest.
Y’all also made me break 200 notes. My works have never gotten this much attention 😵💫🙊
So now I would like to announce that I am looking for mutuals! Don’t be shy, I won’t bite. Send me an ask if you would like for me to follow back! Or if I’m already following you, don’t be afraid to pop in my asks to say hello! I want more friends~ If you are already moots, would y’all mind reblogging this? 😊😊
Welcome to dumb and dumber + brainrots as I simp over these 2D men!
"Can you be homesick for something that is not a home?"
Characters: Childe x GN!Reader (You)
Genre: Angst
Word Count: 3,592 I’m sorry, I got carried away
Warnings: Archon quest spoilers, Childe's story quest spoilers
A/N: This is my first ever Genshin fic, so please look after it kindly! Inspired by Childe's pinkie rings and brought to you by my panic over having to fight him 🤡 AKA help I love this man so much
Special thanks to @seerie and @lucienism for carrying my butt; this is all for you, please enjoy~ ♡
HIRAETH: (n.) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return to; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past
But everything is shattering and it's my mistake
━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━
“If you were Fatui, I imagine that you would be entitled to a generous reward from the Tsaritsa herself.”
You freeze at the voice, dread settling in your stomach like dead weight. No, it can’t be.
But the figure approaching you slowly is unmistakable.
No, please.
“Wh-what are you doing here?” You stutter, panic making your lips unable to form proper words.
Childe smiles, but you notice it doesn’t reach his eyes. There’s a deadened look in his azure pupils. “Oh come on now, what do you think I’m doing here?” He gestures grandly at the Exuvia, and you shake your head wildly, scrambling backward to move in front of Rex Lapis’ body.
No.
Memories of everything the two of you shared comes rushing at you like a whirlwind and hurt floods your system. Your mind goes blank save for the panicked chants of no, no, no.
Our lives don't collide, I'm aware of this
“You-you were playing me to get close to the Exuvia,” you spit the words out at him. You feel like an utter idiot, completely betrayed and blindsided. How stupid. You knew he was Fatui. You knew he was one of the eleventh Harbingers.
He smirks, the expression now maddening to you instead of endearing. “Don’t act so surprised. You’ve seen this world, you of all people should know that this should have been expected.”
He was right. You had been the one who had let him in, had let him get close. And now you were going to pay for it.
You draw your sword as he approaches slowly, the tip of the weapon sickeningly close to his throat. Archons, please let this be a nightmare. You desperately hope that this was all a prank, someone popping out of the corner to say “Gotcha!” But he is close enough that you can feel the heat emanating from his body and you know it is no joke indeed.
“I won’t allow you to get near the Exuvia,” you say bravely.
Childe grins and there is a tangible excitement in the air. “Oh? So you do intend to fight me?” His glee is disturbing, making you instinctively step back.
Was this really the same man who had whispered sweet promises about his wintry homeland? Was the man before you the same as the one who had pretended to be a toy-seller to protect the innocence of a childhood dream?
“We’ve now come to my favorite part. A simple pleasure, and one that I am oh-so-delighted to be sharing with you,” Childe continues, and suddenly the bow that was slung over his shoulder appears in his hands. “The battle.”
Your gaze wavers ever so slightly as you consider your opponent.
You of all people knew how much Childe loves to fight, the thrill of the battle is what drives him. He chases after it like a drug. But on the other hand, you knew the consequences of what would happen if Childe got his hands on Rex Lapis’ Gnosis. You’ve seen it happen firsthand to Venti, after all.
“I won’t kill you,” Childe proclaims, “I’ll just play along, to feel the thrill of the battle. Besides,” he smirks again, and it makes your skin crawl. “You can never defeat me anyway!”
You grit your teeth as you glare at him, “I can never defeat you?” You can’t help but feel the dangerous edge of white-hot anger run through you, like a hot knife through butter. “You’re completely delusional!”
The laugh that comes out of his chest tells you he is pleased with your answer, “Fighting talk, I love it! Now, let’s see if you live up to it!”
You barely had time to react before arrows start flying in your direction, pure muscle memory is what keeps you out of harm’s way. Your body goes on autopilot, instincts taking over as you do all you could to defend yourself against the onslaught of his attacks. But you refuse to go on the offensive, something Childe quickly notices, and he presses you. The attacks get more ferocious, but you do your best to parry them.
A blade, forged out of water, appears out of nowhere and knocks your sword out of your hands. When you move to follow after it, Childe is standing in front of the Exuvia. ”Not bad, your swordsmanship is quite impressive. But that’s as far as you’ll get.” He sounds triumphant. “I’ll be taking Morax’s Gnosis now!”
“NO-”
There is a blinding light and then nothing. You raise your head to look at Childe, who is staring at his hand. The gloved palm remains empty.
A shocked gasp leaves your mouth as Paimon and you exchange confused looks.
“Well…” Childe begins. The look in his eyes is foreign to you, a brief flash of confusion burns away to reveal fury. You instinctively lick your dry lips, feet unconsciously moving backwards. The Childe who stands before you is not the same Childe you’ve known.
“I see, this is most unexpected,” his voice is much too calm, and you shiver involuntarily. He turns to you. You notice that he clearly looks different now. A purple aura glows around his entire body as he stalks towards you. You’re not sure if it was your imagination, but he looks bigger, more threatening. “You beat me to it, didn’t you?”
Mute, you shake your head, but Childe doesn’t seem to notice. He turns slowly, his manner imposing.
“Where is it? Where is the Gnosis?” His voice is akin to that of a growl, and you gulp.
“I don’t know, I don’t have it!” Your words emerge as a frightened yelp when he jumps down from Rex Lapis’ corpse, causing you to stagger from the sheer force. Lightning crackles all around you and you’re forced to scramble.
“This is going to cost you!” A brilliant streak of violet electricity and suddenly, the ground disappears under your feet. You freefall, wind whistling in your ears, and you make an effort to protect your head from the fast-approaching surface.
Pain blossoms in your body and you can’t help the whimper that comes out before everything goes dark.
Your sword clatters next to you. Childe lands on the ground, his boots creating craters. Everything is far too quiet. He makes his way over to you, brow creasing as he assesses your surroundings. You do not move.
“Hey-” he calls your name, but you give no response. Paimon gives him a dirty look as she keeps trying to revive you, shaking your lifeless form frantically. Worry overrides the anger and panic sets in.
Get up, Childe pleads silently, watching your limp body. GET. UP. Panic rises in his chest when Paimon tugs desperately at your arm.
The tiniest groan of pain, so small, that he nearly misses it, and you begin to move feebly. Relief engulfs him like a tidal wave coursing over his entire body and Childe staggers, trying to keep his Foul Legacy under control. Bile rises in the back of his throat as he watches you lean heavily against your sword, using the weapon as a means to prop yourself up.
The differences and impulses and your obsession with
The little things you like stick, and I like aerosol
He shouldn’t be worrying about whether or not you get up. He shouldn’t care. He was a Harbinger after all. The Harbingers prided themselves for being the Tsaritsa’s weapons of war, without being susceptible to useless things such as emotions.
And yet, Childe feels his insides twist unpleasantly as you force yourself into a fighting stance, breathing labored and sword arm trembling.
“I’m not going to let you get away with this,” you say, but your voice has no force, no life. Childe sees the exhaustion settling in and guilt gnaws at him.
But failure is not an option for him. It’s better to end this now.
He grips his staff as he sneers, “You never had any chance of beating me to the Gnosis. In fact, you had no connection to the Gnosis, no matter where it had been taken.” It’s easier for him to be the bad guy if it means he didn’t have to see your tears. It’s better if you were angry, instead of being hurt by the likes of him.
“Unfortunately, it’s time that our battle ends. My quest still beckons.” Despite every fiber in his being protesting, Childe raises his staff. Currents of electricity sizzle in the air.
Just before you throw your arm up to block the blow, you see him hesitate. The hesitation lasts only a split second, but it is enough. You knew. For someone who loves the thrill of the fight as much as Childe did, he never hesitates in battle. Hesitating means the difference between life and death. Hesitating means you lose. As the purple beam of lightning hurls towards you, a small smile appears on your face.
The bolt lands mere inches from you, making your eyes squeeze shut from the stifling air, but the smile remains on your face.
He missed.
When you open your eyes again, Childe is nowhere to be seen.
━━━━━━━☆━━━━━━━
The days following the battle with Childe and Osial have you attempting to help others. It wasn’t until Zhongli had suggested that you rest and Paimon threatening to tie you to your bed, that you relented.
And on one sunny afternoon, you watch the bustling streets of Liyue from the window, confined to your bed, lest Paimon unleashes her wrath.
A quiet knock breaks you out of your thoughts and you murmur a soft “Come in,” expecting to see Zhongli for tea or Baizhu with your daily medicine. The battles had taken quite a toll on you.
You were not expecting, however, the ever-familiar figure in gray with a somber expression.
“Have you come back to finish killing me?” The words that you utter are flat.
Childe winces slightly at your frigid tone and starts slowly towards you.
“Stop.” You throw out a hand and Childe obeys, watching you cautiously. “Before you say anything, tell me this.”
He cocks his head as he waits. And suddenly, you feel the urge to cry, but you shove the feeling down.
“Tell me,” you say, voice hoarse from unuse or unshed tears, Childe does not know. “Who are you? Who is the person who stands before me?” You were trying to put up a front, but he can see the cracks beginning to form. Your voice wavers. “Are you Childe, the pride of the Tsaritsa, the person who went on all these adventures with me, my cheerful comrade in arms? Or are you Tartaglia, the eleventh of the Fatui Harbingers, bloodthirsty and power-hungry, the one who tried to kill me the other day?” There is a hitch in your throat as you continue, “Or…are you…Ajax,” your voice is trembling, the name pushed through your lips as if difficult to say, “Defender of Childhood Dreams, the person willing to give up his reputation to save the hero-like image Teucer has, warm-hearted and kind, the one named after the hero. Ajax, the one who made those promises to me?” You press your lips together as you look away, gaze landing on the window, where it stays.
Childe is silent, for he does not know the answer to your questions either.
And my hopes, they are high, I must keep them small
Though I try to resist I still want it all
Minutes pass and the silence is overwhelmingly stifling.
“Does it matter which version of me is before you?” He finally breaks the silence. You squeeze your eyes shut at that, not wanting to see, to hear him.
He sees you grit your jaw, tension running a clear line, the same place where he had loved to press soft kisses against. “Yes, because I’m trying to figure out if all the memories we shared were real or not.”
“And if they were?” Childe breaths out, the ghost of his words hovers in the air between the two of you, “What if I told you that they were, every last one of them, as real as the sunlight filtering through the window right now?”
“You expect me to believe that?” You laughed dryly, sound grating and harsh. The laughter continues as you pull off the silver ring on your pinkie and flick it at him. Silver circle catches the light, a tiny streak glinting in a wide arc, and the two of you watch as it sails towards its original owner. Childe catches it by instinct, swallowing hard when he did so.
“And what about this promise?” You challenge, raising your brow. “You sounded so sure when you made this promise.”
“You’ll love the rest of my siblings,” Childe murmurs. He grabs your hand and holds it up for his inspection under the moonlight. “I’m very proud of them. They’re great kids.”
You laugh as you lean back into his arms with a satisfied sigh. “You’ve been saying that so many times, but we haven’t gone to Snezhnaya yet. I’m starting to think you’re a hoax.”
“I promise,” he turns to you, gaze earnest, “I promise I’ll take you there.”
“Pinkie promise,” you offer and waggle your pinkie playfully, “Or else, I’ll throw you on the ice.”
Childe smiles, cerulean eyes disappearing into cheerful slits, as he hooks his pinkie around yours, “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again,” he recites the ever-familiar nursery rhyme. “Close your eyes, I have a surprise for you.”
You look at him questioningly but obey regardless. You feel Childe take the hand that he had been holding and something cold glides up your pinkie.
“Ajax-”
“Shh, don’t want to ruin the surprise now, do we?” Warm fingers grasp yours and you feel his breath ghost over your knuckles. Lips, albeit chapped, press against the unfamiliar coolness, as if branding some sort of unspoken vow.
You give in to the urge to open your eyes and you do, just in time to see Childe sit back with a relaxed smile. “Wha-“ you begin and that’s when you notice a silver ring around your pinkie. “What’s this?”
Childe smirks, a self-satisfied upturn of his lips as he grasps your hand again. “A pinkie promise,” he proclaims proudly. He curls his pinkie around yours but this time, there was a gentle clink. You see a similar ring glinting on his finger. “I promise I will take you to Snezhnaya and you will get to meet my siblings. That is a promise I fully intend to keep.”
Your pinkie tightens around his and there is the distinct clink of your rings knocking together. You decide you rather like the sound of it.
“What about the promise?” You ask again.
Childe does not speak, but you notice his hand tighten around the ring ever so slightly. You can’t read the look in his eyes.
“If you make a promise, you keep it. If you make a mistake, you apologize…” You softly repeat the words he had said to you long ago. “The nursery rhyme Teucer taught me… You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice. The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off so you never lie again,” you recite the words, each one hammering a nail that would seal your fate. “Looks like you’re going to have to break the promise,” you settle back against your pillows with finality.
He swallows then, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. As much as you hate to admit it, you feel hope rising inside of you at the sight.
Was any of it real? Were his feelings genuine?
But the fact remains still, was that he had betrayed you.
“We’re going on two different paths. You, on the path to power. Me, to find my brother. Our paths should never have converged,” you are surprised to hear that your voice is steady, not betraying the turmoil you currently feel raging inside of you.
Only fools fall for you, only fools fall
Childe closes his eyes, sighing softly.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, so faint you barely catch it, “Truly.”
You feel disappointment settle in and you berate yourself mentally. What did you expect?
“You’re full of contradictions,” You breathe out, drawing the covers closer to you as if they could block out the hurt. “You refuse to let Teucer know about your real job because you wanted to protect his childhood, yet you do everything in the name of the Tsaritsa. Who even are you?” You laugh, but there is a little catch in your voice. “You make all these promises with honeyed words, yet you tried to kill me when you believed I stole the Gnosis from you, just because I happened to be in your way.”
“As one of the Eleventh Fatui Harbingers, it’s my duty to see the will of the Tsaritsa fulfilled,” Childe reminds you. It was a reminder you didn’t need. You can’t help but notice the loneliness in his tone.
You snort derisively, “The will of the Tsaritsa. Does it include nearly destroying entire cities, putting thousands of innocent lives at risk?” Does it include getting close to me to gain my trust only to betray it in the end? Was I part of this plan? You want to ask, but you were afraid of the answer.
“She will get that which she desires,” Childe is firm, and you have to bite down the disappointment.
“So where does that leave us?” The question comes hurling out before you can even begin to process it. You bite back a curse.
Childe exhales. “You should know…Anyone who strives as I do to grow stronger shall be called a friend, even if our friendship can only be shown in battle against one another,” he says softly. The expression on his face is forlorn. “The next time we meet, it will be on the battlefield.”
You laugh in disbelief, “Friends,” you scoff, “Friends don’t cross blades with one another.” Friends don’t betray one another, you wanted to add, but you held your tongue. “It would be more fitting to call us enemies.
“I harbor no ill will towards you,” Childe’s admission is nearly silent, “In fact, most of my happier memories were those shared with you.”
“It’s too late,” you grit out and there is venom in your words.
Childe studies you as if trying to commit all of your features to memory. You think to yourself that you have never once seen this expression cross his face, lost and melancholic. “Farewell, comrade,” he finally says quietly, “I hope you find all the answers to the questions you’re searching for.” He turns to go.
“Ajax…” you call his name, his real name. It comes out of your mouth before you can stop yourself and it hovers nervously in the air. He stops at the sound of his name, and he turns back to you, expression unsure. “You hesitated,” you say simply. “Inside of the Golden House. You hesitated to kill me. And you missed on purpose, didn’t you? That means you lost.”
Childe does not say anything. He offers you a slight smile as he pulls the door open. And just like that, Childe is gone from your life, leaving the same way he had entered.
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall
━━━━━━━☆━━━━━━━
Nighttime finds Childe under the tree where he had made the promise to you. It overlooks the ocean, Liyue lights blinking in the distance, a would-be pretty sight if he had better company save for himself. It’s a moonless night and Childe thinks to himself that it is fitting for a night like this.
“You seem quiet, what’s going on?” Childe asks as he plops next to you, jostling your arm.
You huff at him, moving your sketchbook out of the way, “Careful,” you warn.
Childe pushes himself onto his elbows, curious, as he peers down at the paper. “Your brother?” He asks, voice gentle. “Are you thinking of him again?”
You nod, filling in the details of your brother’s face. “I wish I had more information,” you sigh.
He watches you work, your expression was forlorn, lost and Childe wishes he could do something to alleviate your pain.
“You’ll find the answers, I know you will,” Childe offers, draping himself over you. His body presses against yours and the familiar warmth calms you. “Don’t forget I’m assisting you as well.”
“I’m just…homesick I guess,” you admit as you shade the contour of your brother’s jaw. “Have you ever heard of this word?”
“Hiraeth,” Childe mumbles. He remembers what you said to him.
“Homesickness for a home you cannot return to. The nostalgia, the yearning for the lost places of the past.”
It makes him think of warm arms and cheerful laughter. Of quiet nights under the stars and dreams uttered against lips. Of playful fights and adrenaline-fueled battles. Of forgotten duties in lieu of lazy mornings in bed, surrounded by the mere essence of one another.
It makes him think of you.
Home is not a place, it’s a feeling. It’s a person.
It’s you.
He presses a kiss to the smaller of the silver rings, his whisper lost to the wind. Nothing but the sky and the trees bearing witness.
Elaina / Ela | 24 yrs old | English Teacher in South Korea | She/her pronouns | Official MLQC Discord mod | Black Swan Collective admin | current AR: 48 | Kazuhaver
☆ Most recent work: ❀ [Jun.04.21]
🚫 DNI: homophobic, racist, rude to LGBTQ+ / people with mental illnesses, expose NOTSFW material to minors, hate for any character
This blog is a safe space and open to all ♡
☆ Favorite Characters:
Lucien [Mr. Love Queen’s Choice] ✧ Zhongli ONLY [Genshin Impact] ✧ Zen & Saeran [Mystic Messenger] ✧ Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart [Ikémen Vampire] ✧ Mo Yi / Vyn Richter [Tears of Themis]
☆ About my writing:
I write for Mr. Love Queen’s Choice, Mystic Messenger, and Genshin Impact. Although currently, I only have works for MLQC. I do anything from angst to fluff, drabbles to 20k word fics
☆ Requests 💌: CLOSED ⇝ Please read rules before requesting~
☆ MASTERLIST
☆ Notable Tags:
#Ela’s Personal Asks | #Other Things | #go-sleep-Ela
☆ Currently working on:
✣ “Hiraeth” - Childe angst about the promises you and Childe made to each other leading up to the events of the Golden House fight and afterwards [this will be my Genshin Impact debut piece]
✣ “I’m going to marry whoever gives me a jar of stars” (TITLE WIP) - An angsty two parter (2 fics with same prologue) with Kaeya and Diluc. Themes: childhood friends, unrequited love, choose-your-ending [Genshin Impact]
✣ Request for NOTSFW Lucien after the events of Ch. 25+ [MLQC]
“The Most Important Person” ↠ Lucien Fic RATED EXPLICIT [NSFW]
Lucien chuckles as he looks over at the girl, whose cheeks were blazing scarlet. “Yes,” the answer slips easily and naturally out of his mouth.
She ducks her head then, trying to tug her hand free from Lucien’s grasp, but he holds on tight. The crowd of her coworkers cheer and spin the bottle again. The neck of the bottle comes to a stop in front of Lucien again and everyone burst into loud exclamations once more.
“Who is it? Who?” Everyone clamors around Lucien in excitement, trying to force the answer from his lips.
He gazes back at her and her eyes skips from him, staring pointedly at the wall behind him. Lucien smiles amusedly and downs the shots, much to everyone’s disappointment. A wave of warmth spreads from his throat, blossoming outward from his chest.
Her coworkers continue to play until the bottle stops in front of her. “Finally, it’s the boss’s turn!” Kiki grins widely as the mood suddenly changes, everyone leaning forward in anticipation.
“Tell us who is the most important to you and why,” Willow announces after a dramatic pause. She winks at Kiki and adds, “Be specific.”
Lucien could hardly admit to himself how eagerly he awaits her response, stiffening up and holding his breath.
She sighs and chances a peek at Lucien, cheeks and ears turning a rosy shade of pink as she prepares herself. *“Because I got to know this someone…” she begins shyly, blushing harder. “He…showed me a brand new world. He’s gentle, but not pretentious. A mystery, but also clear as day.” She starts slowly, but her voice begins to pick up enthusiasm as she goes on. “He can see all of my thoughts and he teaches me the ways of the world.”
Lucien’s hand tightens on his glass as he desperately tries to swallow the prickly feelings that were threatening to engulf him. For some reason, he didn’t like where this is going. There was a thought that nagged at him in the back of his mind. He had seen her chatting cheerfully with that officer…that-Gavin. Had heard her burst into excited laughter when she was on the phone with Kiro. Had witnessed that damn CEO, Victor, picking her up in his stupidly expensive sports car. Could she be talking about any one of them?
She leans forward unknowingly, as she continues, *“When I meet setback, he’d guide me with patience and understanding.” Her voice has a tender lilt to it.
Lucien savagely downs the contents of his glass and sets it down before he could crush it. The warming effects of the alcohol disappears and all he could feel is the thudding of his heartbeat roaring in his ears. The only thought that rages through his mind is who, who, who?
*“He is…very important to me,” she concludes softly with a small sigh, a rare smile breaking through her features.
Her coworkers collectively release their breaths.
*“That was visceral! I bet the person isn’t here or else Boss wouldn’t have said all that!” Someone chimes teasingly.
“Yeah! You know how shy Boss is!” Another person laughs noisily.
The comments grate at Lucien’s ears and he grinds his jaw. A different kind of warmth, one that is white hot, courses through his veins.
“I really want to know who it is!” Kiki wonders aloud.
Lucien silently takes another shot, trying to quell the rage that was slowly building inside him. His vision starts to blur, but he pays it no mind.
She laughs quietly and shakes her head. “Let’s just continue the game,” she hastily directs their attention back to the bottle on the table.
Coming here tonight…was a bad idea, a thought pops up unbidden. Lucien tosses back another shot, missing the worried glance she throws in his direction.
The party continues, but Lucien’s mood worsens, along with the drunkenness of the crowd.
At some point, she slips to the bathroom and when Lucien couldn’t take the burning question any longer, he says some stupid excuse to her coworkers and leaves to go find her. The question bores a hole in Lucien’s mind as he stalks silently along the dimly lit hallway.
Who is this important person?
His fists clench and the scowl on his face deepens. The alcohol he had drunk earlier blurs all thought, all reason.
Remember your purpose, Ares. A voice whispers in his mind, but Lucien shoves it aside. He could care less about his purpose at this moment.
A sudden movement catches his eye and before any reasonable thought occurs, he’s pushing the girl against the wall, his hand grabbing her wrist.
*“What are you doi-“
*“That person who’s most important to you…Who is he? Tell me,” his mouth is moving before his brain registers the words. A look of confusion spreads across her face and Lucien presses harder against her. “Tell me!” Nothing but red hot rage runs through his entire body.
Her expression softens, “It’s you…” she says, but Lucien presses harder against her, only hearing a soft buzzing. “Lucien,” she calls his name and her words finally gets through the buzzing in his ears. “It’s you I was talking about,” she murmurs, smiling. “You’re very important to me…” Stunned, Lucien loosens his grip on her as he backs away. He hears his heartbeat thudding in his ears, a roaring that reverberates throughout him and she continues. “Everything I said was meant for you to hear but you misunderstood…”
The relief flooding through him was instantaneous and he nearly stumbles. There is nothing in his eyes except for the sight of her smiling face. “I’m sorry…did I hurt you?” Lucien asks as he drops her wrist.
“A little…but I’m okay,” She smiles, and Lucien rubs her wrist gently.
“I’m…sorry,” Lucien pulls her into his arms as he breathes a sigh of relief into her hair. It should’ve unnerved him with how relieved he felt, but Lucien couldn’t bring himself to care.
“Shall we go?” She asks, voice muffled into his chest, “I think I’ve had enough.”
He agrees readily and ignores the whispers of “Stupid. You’re a fool, Ares.”
The girl in his arms robs all reasonable thought, but Lucien thinks to himself that he prefers it that way as she slips her hand into his. His only colors in the world, he would follow her blindly wherever she goes.
They say goodbyes to her coworkers and Lucien fights the urge to claim when he sees a male coworker smiling at her. Kim, Lucien remembers.
The two of them chat a little too long for Lucien’s liking, and he walks up to the pair, offering the singer a tight smile. “Shall we go?” He asks the girl, his hand naturally finding purchase on her shoulder.
She nods cheerfully as she waves goodbye at Kim and allows herself to be led away by Lucien. Lucien clenches the hand not holding hers.
Fool, a voice creeps up in the back of his mind again and Lucien ignores it.
This story contains an image not yet released in EN server as well as possible triggering content. Read at your own risk.
Characters: Lucien, mentions of Victor and MC (Female)
Genre: Angst ツ, Song-fic
Word Count: 1,733
Warnings: spoiler warnings for Ch. 25 (some canon details), mentions of drug use (don’t do drugs, kids), mentions of a major character death I guess…
A/N: Uh…. I know I said Lucien angst was addictive…. but I didn’t realize it hurt this much. I also know I promised Lucien fluff, but this was too good to pass up. I’m so so sorry that I haven’t published anything in well over a month. Things have been so stressful for me and I’ve had the worst case of writer’s block. However! I am writing Helios and Lucien smut to make up for that! I also don’t know if the depictions are accurate cuz…. never done drugs…. so this was based off lots of research. Also inspired by this fanart.
Part II of this: story
Summary: The light of Lucien’s life, his little butterfly, was no longer part of his world.
Picture and story under the cut since it contains spoilers and possible triggering content.
