professional silly billy

24 • she/her • 🇺🇸&🇵🇷 something abt me is i will talk excessively in the tags. certified lurker.

[headspace-hotel]

i hate how you get desensitized to the cool stuff in your WIP if you've been writing it for a long time so when you read back over it you're like "this isn't as cool as i thought :(" but it still is! you just read it too many times

[headspace-hotel]

Gotta recirculate this post periodically just cuz

[martinkhall]

Just don't read the post too many times.

[headspace-hotel]

Oh god oh fuck

[arcolan]

11 year old border collie: gets a special shot for his chronic back pain this morning

2pm: "where's the dog he can't possibly have jumped over the fence"

3pm: "hi i live in [another village]! I got your dog here, if you can come fetch him?"

"well at least that new medication is working 💀"

[emcapi]

[princess-of-phyresis]

they're selling anti-ai slogans on sweatshop-produced t-shirts. i don't need to write the poem for you to get it do i

[eelizabit]

men b like wow I’ve never met a girl who liked music before..

[cephalapodsblog]

You obviously know nothing about men if this is what you think they say

[auckie]

Men will see a mouse and eat it

[cephalapodsblog]

No they won’t because why would anyone eat a mouse that’s stupid not all men are bad and not all men are stupid you may have had a bad experience with a man but not all men are bad granted there bad men but instantly accusing all men as bad is immature I’m dating a man and he is nowhere near stupid and I know for a fact that he won’t eat a mouse and in pretty sure I could name at least five other men that won’t do something as immature as that and saying that a man will see a mouse and eat it won’t get you a anywhere with a man if anything it will drive them away.

[auckie]

A man will see a mouse and be like is anyone else gonna eat this and not wait for an answer

[saltoncity]

girl is that a knife in your hand or are you jerking off your sharp detachable penis in my stomach

[loki-zen]

has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?

[ceruleanheaven]

month starting on a monday we have no excuse guys lets get to work and lock the fuck in

[ceruleanheaven]

yk its actually very chic and avant garde to start on tuesday the second

[ceruleanheaven]

many claim theres nothing more subversive and revolutionary than starting on wednesday the third

[cloevr]

[riverpiracy]

[valtsv]

anyone mind if i get a little bicurious on this suicide mission

[moghedien]

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

[moghedien]

Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy

[dogpuppy]

[mclennonyaoi]

calling in to work sick with a “weird dream”

[terramosh]

[parasocialanxiety]

I see a child run out in front of this car and I throw a black lace shawl over their shoulders, saving their life

[dogpuppy]

[sniffanimal]

[paparoach]

And you may tell yourself "this is not my tomodachi life"