maomao when every important figure in the empire keeps asking for her help
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DEAR READER
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oozey mess
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
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trying on a metaphor
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Cosmic Funnies
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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@ezy-exe
maomao when every important figure in the empire keeps asking for her help
punk’s only sleeping
“SAKANA”
one day im going to accidentally reblog something and then expose myself if u see ive reblogged anything no u did not
writing prompts for writers with no motivation
pick a topic you know nothing about and write about it like you’re the expert. just make stuff up. Tell us all about the complicated history of scissors or whatever and how left handed scissors were banned by the Catholic Church until 1978, or something
Create completely over-the-top self indulgent OC’s. Write about the magical half-unicorn witch with rainbow hair and sparkly purple eyes that you wanted to be when you were 14.
Write a negative review of a book that doesn’t exist. Just make stuff up off the top of your head to complain about.
Write smut, but like, intentionally bad smut. make it as unsexy/pretentious/purple/unrealistic as possible. Find the most convoluted metaphors for your characters’ genitalia that you can possibly conceive of.
pick two of any kind of work of fiction (movies, books, etc) and come up with an “X meets Y” style blurb for a hypothetical work of fiction that...in theory??...meets the two in the middle.
lists of names in a specific style, but they get progressively more ridiculous. examples: pirates, supervillains, Vikings, Fantasy(tm) taverns, puritans, settings on a Fantasy(tm) map, boybands, YA dystopian protagonists, warrior cats, any category you can find on a name generator website really
Make up some unhinged political opinion or conspiracy theory for a fantasy setting. spend a paragraph in the persona of some elf antivaxxer arguing that wizard staffs make you gay
make titles (and if you want, synopses) for books that don’t exist. you can base them on real books if you want
write fake sayings, inspirational quotes, fortune-cookie sayings. Make them sound almost like they mean something at first glance but they’re incomprehensible when you try to delve into them. Or make them just weird.
In a similar vein as the SCP Wiki’s Log of Anomalous Items, come up with magical or “anomalous” versions of everyday objects. You can start with stuff on your desk if you like. Water bottles that fill up with horseshoe crab blood if left unattended. or whatever. Include details on where they were found if you want.
write about questionable super heroes with weird or overly specific powers. Like the little known Blue Footed Booby Man
write a “horror” story or creepypasta but it’s like...as stupid and not-scary as possible. Dont just depend on “the twist/scary thing is super cliche and predictable” for it either, see how you can take an actually effective concept and make it unbearably dumb
invent swear words/insults, the more complex the better
plagiarize. By this I mean write something that’s completely made from sentences from other things and try to make it coherent
write one (1) scene from the most outrageously cool and epic hypothetical story you can imagine. just try to cram as many references to magical flying wolf bounty hunters and inter-dimensional dragon priests and time traveling samurai as you can with literally no regard for anything
Take a sentence or paragraph and replace every word you can in it with a synonym. either try to make it as weird and uncomfortable as possible, or just keep doing this in a telephone game sort of fashion until it’s no longer comprehensible.
I’ve never drawn these stirrup leggings I like so much because I’m big dumbass energy
Losing my mind remembering that pic chelsea manning posted of the extremely undercover and not at all obvious fbi agent who was tailing her after her release
what kind of sixth sense do american have to recognize fbi agents that easily
to paraphrase her, its always the shoes.
americans please explain to a foreigner, he looks like some random dude to me
1. They all have the same haircut, almost everybody in law enforcement and the military have the same haircut due to regulations.
2. They all wear the same shoes. Same boots, and same overpolished dress shoes.
3. They act different. Shifty eyed and always on their own.
4. They’re kinda really bad at their jobs. I’ve encountered plenty of “undercover” cops outside of bars that ask questions no regular person in their right mind would ever ask. “How are you getting home?” “Who did you come here with tonight?”
5. America is a police state on a budget. Most officers are poorly trained, fbi agents require a 4 year degree (I think), but lord knows how much training they actually get. And the dumb kids from your high school always become cops.
It’s always the dense as a brick kid, with something to prove that becomes a cop. The kid that mouth-breathed and couldn’t chew gum and walk at the same time.
Their shirts are never form fitting so they can conceal a weapon and cuffs.
Always look at the watch, it’ll be expensive but in neutral tones (uniform standards strike again).
They will always sit where they can see their target and the nearest exit.
They will have a partner who is less obvious but wil point a recording device (phone or camera) at you. Check elevated positions, it gives them the clearest view to track you and keep an eye on their partner at the same time.
One time when i lived in phoenix, I was driving home through residential streets from Panda Express on April 20th and there was a 40something year old white man standing quite literally in the MIDDLE of the fucking road wearing a brand new straight from the store weed jersey (jersey #420 with a big pot leaf), a wornout old raiders hat, regular-fit straight leg jeans, and cop shoes. This man proceeded to try to wave me down to stop since I was driving slowly (again, residential neighborhood) and as he did so fully yelled “You buying bro? You buying? 420 bro 420 you buying?”
I almost choked laughing so hard. I couldn’t stop myself from just yelling “NO THANK YOU OFFICER” as i drove by him.
for the past 60 years law enforcement, military, and even literal espionage/intelligence based organizations have assumed that rigid conformity to dress code was more important then actually training how to go undercover, blend in, or understand what the fuck theyre doing largely because the ‘we are infallible’ mindset is too strong for them to consider they might not be doing very good
On that note of “rigid conformity to dress code”, there was a US Army Intel unit during the early days of the Afghanistan War that was on the ground in Afghanistan who were doing their best to make connections with the locals–by adopting local dress, letting their beards grow to blend in, etc. And they were doing well–making friends, getting information, and all of that.
And then some upper echelon officer heard that they were *gasp* Out Of Uniform!
And sent non-discretionary orders to the unit telling that they needed to conform to the US Uniform Code AT ONCE.
Guess what happened to their information sources when they started showing up dressed in Army uniforms and with clean-shaven chins?
*makes blowing-away-on-the-wind gesture* Gone.
It’s not just the stupid bullies in the ranks who put rigid conformity to the rules over achieving their goals that shoot themselves in the foot–they also shoot everyone else in the feet as well!
#its bc the men in the american government and military#are more concerned with maintaining power and making people who they consider beneath them ‘submit’#than they are with any of their actual goals#the men on top would rather have control over those beneath them#than results
How to write a novel
I was talking to a girl at ComicCon, the kind of person who has a million creative projects at the same time. As many people do, she has a story she wants to write, with amazing characters she wants to share with the world, but writing is hard and a first novel can be daunting. Here’s what I told her.
Now, this applies to the people who REALLY want to see their story done. These are the main pillars of the cathedral that is your story. Let’s begin.
1- YOUR GOAL IS TO WRITE A COMPLETE FIRST DRAFT. It will be shit. But it will be complete. You can build on it and rewrite, but the most important thing is to WRITE TILL THE END OF THE STORY.
2- SIT DOWN AND WORK. That’s the difference between writers and the million people who say they have a story that they’ll write someday.
Alright, let’s get technical, and start by the end.
3- Art is about causing your public to have emotions. Decide right now what emotion you want to leave your readers with when they close your book. Is it happy, sad, bittersweet, hopeful? Pick one. (This can be changed later if you rewrite and find some other ending, but we are working on the first draft.)
— Maybe you have a nice gimmick, a cool idea for a story, like idk, ‘What if you cloned yourself and that clone took over your life’. This is interesting, but it’s not a story in itself. A story needs emotions. If you don’t pick the emotions you want your reader to feel, your idea is just a gimmick.
4- Now that you have the final emotion, decide your ending in accordance to said emotion. Are characters dying? Is the bad guy defeated? Is everyone splitting up or leaving together as a found family?
Then we go back to the beginning.
5- You probably have a million characters you all want to write. Pick one to be your protagonist. Yes, just one. Multi-characters stories are harder to write and demand experience and time. We want this novel to exist, and not be stuck in limbo forever. Anyway, people tend to always prefer side characters. Who has heard of someone having a protagonist as a fave?? Your side characters will be loved, no worry.
How to find your protagonist: It’s the person who makes decisions and makes the plot advance. Simple as that. Not to be mistaken for the leader of a group.
6- Now that you have your protagonist, you decide what is normal for them. That is your beginning.
7- And then, you break that normality in some horrible way that will prevent your protagonist to come back to it. That is your inciting incident.
Then we write the middle
8- You google Three-Act-Structure and get one of these babies.
(But Talhí, I hear you say, why should I follow this? It’s been overdone, and my story doesn’t follow this, and I have more to write than this… Well, that’s your choice. I’m not the boss of you. I’m just saying that this is a solid model for western storytelling and it’s been proven to work time and time again. You can create outside of this, but again, the main goal here is to get your novel on paper. This is a solid template.)
9- You probably have a general idea of events you want to happen in the story. Place these scenes where you feel they should go on the structure. Like, a confrontation with the main bad guy goes in climax of act three, and the confrontation with the main henchman goes to climax of act two, etc. Be mindful of the rising action and tension: a cute misadventure in the woods would probably go earlier in the story than a fight to the death.
10- Now, a secret: What separates bad writing from good writing? Bad writing is adding a bunch of events in the middle and have the characters go through them like a checklist of scenes. You can often see this in movies. But good writing links the events. Each and every event that happens has to be a result of your character making a decision. Then, an obstacle happens, and your character makes another decision, that leads to your next event/obstacle.
11- Another secret: A character will gain power, money, weapons and allies through the story. In videogames, this is useful to defeat the bad guy. But storytelling is not videogames. Having a superpowerful hero at the end is boring. What we want is keeping the reader in suspense. So you’ll have to take everything from them. Leave them powerless and alone. And then, break their leg. I mean, not literally, although you can do that too, but have them super disadvantaged. And then they can use the personal growth they got in the adventure to prevail. (What is more interesting: a character fleeing from a facility but with weapons and kickass moves, or a character fleeing the same facility without weapons or shoes and with a broken arm? Who do you root for?)
Other tricks
The rest of the crew: I go with what Pixar does for characters: Main character gets three or more characteristics. That’s your Woody. Second tier character gets two characteristics. That’s your Buzz. Third tier characters get one characteristic, like Rex and Mister Potato Head. Keep control of your character tiers and never give too much time to the lower tiers ones, it doesn’t help your story.
Herd your cats: Characters will want to wander in every direction, and you’ll want to follow them. Keep them in groups, and even though you can follow a side character for a scene or two, focus 80 to 90% of your story on your protagonist.
DND is not a novel: I’m pretty sure your campaign is super fun, but you can’t just put it on paper and call it a novel. It needs a narrative arc and serious editing. You can use a campaign as a base, but it needs to be worked as a novel, because you’re changing mediums, and a novel has different requirements.
That’s pretty much what I can remember for now. This should help you with the bones of your novel, and you can add the meat on that. I hope it helps. But honestly, the best advice I can give you is
SIT DOWN AND DO THE THING.
Better Glasses Tropes
(Brought to you by 'losing my glasses wouldn't make me prettier or dorkier or more badass, it'd just make me me without my glasses'.)
Taking someone's glasses off when they're tired, or to stop them working too hard.
Handing someone's glasses to them with their morning coffee.
Putting someone's glasses aside when they hand them to you before sleeping.
Taking someone's glasses off when they're asleep or nearly asleep with them on.
Asking to take someone's glasses off in the bedroom, before things start to get hot and heavy.
Someone taking their glasses off themselves in the bedroom, as a sign that things are getting hot and heavy.
Characters taking their glasses off when they're tired or emotional, as a sign that they're vulnerable, and only characters they trust deeply being allowed to see them that way.
if i may add
cleaning someone's glasses for them because the fabric of their shirt isn't the right kind
Oh hell yeah that's some
Good Shit
right there
Maybe this isn’t as universal as I think but
Helping someone find their glasses in the morning because they got knocked off the bedside table by a cat or something and do you know how hard it is to find your glasses when you can’t see because you don’t have your glasses?
Yesssssssss
@peepos-prose
-someone taking their glasses off around someone they love and trust to lay their head on that person's shoulder/chest
-getting out the tiny screwdriver and fixing somebody’s glasses because they don’t have a spare pair and can’t see to do it themselves.
dabizawa rights!!!!!!!!
@matchblue
i would give my soul and body and heart to this tahkn u for everyouthing
phos 💎
COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN ♡ ´・ᴗ・` ♡ check out my blog for more info!
Back on my gay rock bs :´)
HEY THIS IS IMPORTANT whats your favorite place to find drawing references?
so far we’ve got
senshi stock
croquis cafe
line-of-action.com
quickposes.com
posemaniacs
clip studio paint models
pexels.com
sketchdaily
eggazyoutatsu atarichan drawer
designdoll
if you have any more please reply!
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for Clothing refs,
Yesstyle.com
they have flattering and elegant clothing
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