A common sentiment I see on Tumblr, Reddit, and other places, is trans guys being afraid to be themselves for fear of backlash. Now I'm not talking "If I go on T, my parents are gonna kick me out", as that's a legitimate concern.
No, this is stuff like "I go by they/them even though I wanna go by he/him because I don't want to be seen as a threat", "My bf won't let me go on T so I'm not gonna", "my partner won't let me top so I bottom", stuff like that.
Guys. Part of being a man, and an adult in general, is not giving a fuck what people say. Now there's limits to this, obviously don't be an asshole, be kind, be caring. But at *least* have the guts to say "Fuck you. No. Accept me as I am, or fucking leave my presence". Like, seriously. Do NOT let people walk all over you and determine how you live your life. Why the fuck are you letting people control you so much? Learn to either tell them to fuck off, or leave.
What's the worst they're gonna do? Leave you? Now you've got a toxic asshole out of your life and you can be yourself, win win. They gonna call you a name? Insult them back.
They're not you. They don't need to live as you. They don't have your best interests and mind and they sure as shit don't care about you if they act like this. So why the FUCK do you put so much stock in them? Fuck them. Seriously. Tell them to go fuck themselves.
Just because they're willing to fuck you does not mean they care about you. It just means they see you as a piece of meat that they can use and discard once your purpose has been served.
A lot of you guys are fucking cowards, and you need to unlearn that and learn how to be courageous and stick up for yourselves. If you don't, nobody will and you'll be used, abused, and thrown to the curb come trash day.
This isn't just referring to sexual or romantic partners either. I'm talking about anyone in general who tries to control how YOU live YOUR life. Go by whatever fucking pronouns you want. Use whatever terms for your gender or sexuality. Go on T, or don't. Do whatever the hell you want, forever. There are no rules on being you. You get one chance at life, don't fucking waste it allowing others to dictate how you go through life. The trash will take itself out and you'll be left with only those who want the best for you.
At least the transfems and trans women on this site and online have the guts to be themselves despite the push-back they often face. You guys could learn a thing or two from them.
I'm not saying be an asshole, or to be unkind or not listen to others. But for fucks sake guys, grow a fucking spine. Please. It's for your own good. Your future self will thank you for it.