headcanon of jesse and seiji's relationship
[spoilers of some interactions in redemption and striking distance]
so first of all, Jesse Coste and Seiji Katayama. They were something, according to Seiji, and because I love these two to an unhealthy amount, I will be sharing my headcanon/theory on their relationship, past and present.
disclaimer: this is my take on their relationship and slight copium. Lots of headcanon stuff up ahead y'all.
Let's talk about Jesse Coste first. Man, this guy. I've seen buttloads of posts about how he doesn't reciprocate Seiji's feelings for him, regardless of whether or not he's aware of it. Going off of Jesse's brief monologue in Rise(I assume it was Jesse, the context fits), it was said that he'd finally found 'someone [he] could share everything with', this implies that Jesse had thought of Seiji as an equal, or a friend somewhere in their childhood. They very likely had an intimate relationship with some romance sprinkled in, but obviously there was a lack of communication that likely caused a rift between them.
Lots of people say that Jesse knows how Seiji feels about him and takes advantage of that, but I like to think that Jesse, though he's super popular, is the densest mf when it comes to romance. For example, when he and Seiji have close moments, he'll feel his heart speed up but he doesn't know why he feels funny around Seiji so he puts up a facade. He's secretly insecure when it comes to Seiji because Seiji doesn't see him as 'the number one' as much as other people, and he's afraid that he won't be enough for him. In Striking Distance, he tries to convince Seiji to go to Exton with him because though he feels insecure around Seiji, he's lonely without someone to stand besides him, and he doesn't know how to express that.
Jesse also doesn't know that his feelings aren't unrequited, but since the first time they met, Seiji's been the only one who could satisfy him and meet him at his level, and so he unconsciously puts him on a pedestal in his heart. He thinks Seiji is too good for him in some ways so he makes sure he's the best at fencing, but this turns to be slightly toxic as he then never addresses Seiji as his equal. From Seiji's POV, it obviously seems like Jesse is dismissing him because Jesse thinks Seiji will never be as good as him, but Jesse was raised with the goal of being number one so he's scared that Seiji will overtake him and leave him, and he's scared of being replaced by someone who can be more to Seiji than him.
For Seiji, he doesn't know how Jesse feels, but he admires Jesse a lot. When Jesse is asking Seiji to fence him in Redemption, Seiji looks mortified and scared- scared because he wants to say yes but he wants to know who he is without Jesse. He has/had feelings for Jesse, but he also thinks that it's unrequited and Jesse won't ever reciprocate that and see him as an equal. Obviously we don't know what happened at the match that made Seiji move to France, but miscommunication or the lack of communication on their feelings in general is likely to have caused it. They clearly share some similar sentiments about each other, but neither side is able to open up about it.
Seiji had reminisced that it was easy with Jesse. It was easy because no words were ever needed to express themselves. They knew each other so well to the point that a short match was more than enough to convey their thoughts and feelings, just not love. Seiji isn't good with social interactions, so it helped that they didn't need to talk as much since their fencing did most of the talking. If one side felt upset, they'd have a short match of first to 3 points and the other would know what's wrong by the end of it.
Then the romance came. Neither knew how to express it through fencing, and perhaps Seiji wanted to tell Jesse that "You can't keep pushing me around" and that he has feelings for him, but through a language only the both of them knew. Fencing.
Seiji's parry came late in the match, similar to how he wasn't able to speak about his opinions in time. In Rise, Seiji says that "I must have practiced that parry a thousand times". Like previously mentioned, fencing was their way of communicating and confiding in each other. Seiji practiced that parry so many times because aside from wanting to perfect that technique, he wanted to stand up for himself and also express his love, but it wasn't delivered as well as he would've liked it. He could've left because he was scared that Jesse didn't like him back, and he has doubts constantly.
When Jesse asks for him to go back, a part of Seiji wants to follow him because he wants to believe that Jesse misses him, and he does, but like I said, Jesse Coste may be the fencing champion but he's failing in figuring out his feelings. But Seiji also doesn't want to go with him because he's scared that their relationship has changed, that Jesse won't see him in the same way now because Seji left so suddenly.
TL;DR: they are both dense idiots, i love them, they love each other but no one can talk properly so their relationship is a slightly toxic, two-sided unrequited love thing with a slightly unhealthy dose of miscommunication.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk. *bows
