I have fairy wings but u can't see them cuz u don't have enough whimsy u lameass bitch
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Today's Document
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@fairylitmermaid
I have fairy wings but u can't see them cuz u don't have enough whimsy u lameass bitch
invented a game called “I throw dice at the cat”
hey your cat kinda lowkey was giving god of probability and gambling and chaos so i drew her. yeah.
waters so amazing because you can drink it really sloppy style and like spill it all over yourself and it doesnt even leave a stain. you dont even have to wash it out/ . because its already washed
yet another massive w for water, the greatest fluid in the universe
We should all quit our jobs to focus on summer
Reunited swan couple after one's been in a treatment center for a while. (via @gunsnrosesgirl3 over at That Other Place)
that sounded how i imagine a murder of clowns greeting each other at the yearly Clowns Institute pie making contest might sound
You are angry about something. “Clam down,” I text you. You assume I have made a typo, but in fact I am holding a small soldier clam in my hands. He died so young. War is hell
A world where humans have no innate magic but our pets do.
Cat magic is pretty raw and they mainly use it for getting into places they’re not supposed to. They can be trained if you’re patient, and will sometimes do favours for their owners out if the blue, but only if they want to.
Dogs have been bred for specific magic over the centuries and each breed can do certain things. Showing off your magic is an essential part of a dog show.
Horses come in horse, pegasus, and unicorn, each with their own magical talents.
Fuck knows what birds can do, I don’t trust birds.
For an obvious example… dalmatians have been bred for fire magic. A properly trained dalmatian will run into a burning building and all the fires around it will go out. Caution is necessary, of course, because they can also do the opposite. Their favourite toys are often a bit blackened, and puppies must be kept in fireproof surroundings, with extinguishers in easy reach.
The Pekingese’ magic is camouflage - they can change colour to match whatever they touch, whether a blanket, a mossy rock, or even a reflective mirror. This ability originally enabled them to hide in a robe, so their owners could take them into places where dogs were technically not permitted. The classic image of a pekingese is of it sitting outside a building, appearing to be part of the stonework… until it reveals itself to growl at an intruder.
Portuguese water dogs are canine silkies - in deep enough water they transform into curly-haired seals, and when they climb back out and shake off, they turn back into dogs.
Cats are often thought to be selfish and troublesome, to only use their magic for themselves, and for random but odd favours.
This is not the entire truth.
Cat magic is largely Watch and Ward, which is only observable in what does not happen. Cats are known to protect sleeping humans from danger simply by being present, their lamp-like eyes acting as a sort of n’est pas possible upon all possible intruders, from pests to more deadly threats.
Pitbulls over the ages were bred to emit magic to calm children and help them sleep
Collies can multiply themselves for a short time to corral animals
St Bernard’s turn into snow and can feel where an avalanche is going to happen hours before the event
Anatolian Shepherd can shapeshift into other animals around them to blend in
corgi magic is banned in most public areas, and one of the few dog magics not to be demonstrated in show- allowing your corgi to perform magic in public can be punished with up to $1000 in fines, even before the costs of damage to people and property
Golden Retriever magic is sometimes considered “disney” magic, as they typically attract waterfowl and game birds. this is not always the benefit one thinks it would be, as some lines have a penchant for attracting swans! some, however, attract vertebrates of a different sort. one remarkable individual was given an honorary degree in wildlife biology for her prodigious ability to attract frogs and toads, and is currently hard at work in Costa Rica.
#I would die for that fictional golden retriever scientists
no. you must live for her. she demands it of you. how else would you be able to appreciate all these great amphibians she’s finding?
A cat’s protective aura gets stronger in response to affection and respect. If you bond strongly enough with one, you can actually FEEL the magic working, soothing fear and anxiety. They also work in dreams, catching and killing nightmares. Some can do this from several rooms away, while others like to work more closely and will sit on their owners’ chests or heads while they sleep.
Yes please to all of this.
Rat magic: a mysterious multiplication of SOMETHING–food or other valuable resources generally–which can be pretty handy if you don’t mind the nibble marks.
Beagle magic is mostly low-grade telepathy, which is very handy for coordinating a pack hunt, but also makes individual dogs prone to neurosis.
Some cats, like their behaviour of presenting a prey, also sometimes present their owner with a small magical favour. Sometimes this involves a transmuted treat. Sometimes this involves a clumsy owner growing whiskers
What the hell do Corgis do that it is illegal for them to do their magic in public?
Domesticated bird magic (chickens, pigeons NOT parrots) is, at baseline, a magic of bounty. Usually for a good garden. Pigeon magic has been in the last two centuries or so, been intensely bred for a bounty of SPEED in messenger pigeons, and in other pigeons a bounty of - well, depends on the breed.
just went a mile past my destination following some directions bc the guy said “it’s the first house on the left after it becomes a dirt road”
and my hillbilly ass went a whole mile waiting for the dirt until I finally realized that I must be in a place where this is considered dirt:
(the thickest hick accent you can imagine) where i come from that’s a fairly maintained gravel road son
that’s SO interesting 2 me bc based on where I’m from I was waiting for it to turn to this (or worse, with way more potholes lmao)
ppl are saying “dirt is dirt” and I guess the distinction is only important when you live somewhere with roads that are actually only dirt with no gravel whatsoever, because there’s no drainage and nothing holding it together really, so in the winter or after rain it just becomes mud. So if someone’s giving you directions, you wanna know what you’re getting into and literally whether ur car can even get through it. Like where I’m from this is not an unusual road to encounter in ur regular drive
But I guess if you live somewhere where there’s no purely dirt roads, just gravel, then calling the gravel dirt would make sense ig! 
EXACTLYYYYYYY
nothing more 2 say. this ends the discussion
So basically for this spell to work we have to get naked and rub our dicks together. Yeah for mana. so its not gay i prommy
ignore my url
"someone who allows you to rest" is the relationship dynamic of all time
A parent that welcomes you back home after things have fallen apart. A best friend whose voice alone who can make you relax. A spouse who convinces you to stay in bed an extra hour and leave the dishes for later. A stranger who sees you tired and gives up their seat on the train. Augh. The humanity of it
Teeth weak as fuck why can't you be like bones
Bones: with time I will mend this fracture stronger then ever. You were wise to put your faith in me.
Teeth: auuggh pleeasseee get this granule of sugar awaaayy from meee I am MELTING and BURNING nnnNNOOO you are cleaning me TOO HARD;! aaaiughh my fucking enamellll one billion cavities for you!!! Your sins against me are PERMANENT you SICK BITCH
fireflies lighting up a rural Pennsylvania field at dusk
As a european i sometimes forget furefkied are actually real and not american folklore/cryptids. Like you’ve got friendly little bugs that glow in the dark….. b r uh
in case europeans were worried: we love them very much! even tho they’re clumsy and slow and sometimes bump into you, no one swats fireflies here, or takes them for granted. even grownups sometimes reach out in the summer and gently catch a firefly for a minute before letting it go.
By “reach out” that’s meant quite literally–you just kinda. Stick your hand in their flight path and they land on you and will sit on your hand for a bit. Sometimes if you’re just walking or standing outside while they’re active you have to shoo them off you because they’ll just. Sit on you.
They’re harmless and very pretty and it’s always a treat to see because they’re out for a relatively short time each year.
wow. i’ve never seen that many fireflies. NJ is nearly completely devoid of them. They’re going to go extinct soon. :(
"Guy" and "man" have different connotations with adjectival nouns. Like "tree guy" = arborist but "tree man" = he lives in a tree, or maybe he is a tree.
"I know a guy" = "I have a useful contact."
"I know a man" = "I am about to tell you a story."