skytten

...thoughts spilled everywhere... i write and quote books i’ve read

[fairyskytten]

S W E A R I N G

today i woke up late my first thought was you and how its been months since we last talked

then i got really mad at myself of course because it seems i cant move the fuck on

i read some old texts butterflies appeared again i felt my cheeks flush i screamed after that

i hate it, i hate you, i hate me i hate the pain i put myself in

you are a constant on my mind no matter what i do i swear i tried to rip your image of my brain but it keeps showing up again and again and again and again

and i’ve tried to hate you for how you made me feel that day but i always end up blaming my stupid self

i know if the world was ending id find myself at your house knocking on your door just to see you one last time

but you don’t give a fuck i am painly aware of that or else you would’ve called, showed you did care, you never did

i hate it, i hate you, i hate me i hate the pain i put myself in

you are a constant on my mind no matter what i do i swear i tried to rip your image of my brain but it keeps showing up again and again and again and again

[fairyskytten]

knowledge would be fatal. it is the uncertainty that charms one. a mist that makes things wonderful

the picture of dorian gray by oscar wilde

[fairyskytten]

L I E

I used to think

that i fell in love to easily; 

i became obsessed with someone,

or what i thought that someone was.

Now i realize

I wasnt in love with them,

I was in love with the idea of love;

just like they show in movies,

I wanted to dance in the kitchen

and make movie nights,

go on adventures, on hikes

and be with that someone

that i thought i liked.

Now, I feel it was all a lie

cause i dont think relationships

are truly like that.

[fairyskytten]

"nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul"

the picture of dorian gray by oscar wilde

[fairyskytten]

L O V I N G  H E A R T

i had a loving heart

but he tore it apart

grabbed it in his hand

smashed it hard

i tried to pick it up

but some pieces were too small

and they fell to the ground

as i carried it home

i managed to fix it

even though it was hard

it still wasn’t perfect

but just good enough

and when i met you

every piece told me to run

but i couldn’t escape you

i wasn’t fast enough

you knew my broken heart

couldn’t take another punch

but you didn’t care,

and here we are

now there is no glue, no tape

that could ever stick it back

there is very little left

to gather up

and i cant love

with a shattered heart

i feel i’ll never be able

to leave this pain behind

[fairyskytten]

“it’s easy to forget how full the world is of people, full to bursting, and each of them imaginable and consistently misimagined.”

paper towns by john green

[fairyskytten]

A L L  I  E V E R  W A N T E D

it’s been seven weeks i cant seem to sleep i lost myself in the memories i lost myself in my dreams the dreams of you and me

i thought we were alright thought we were for the long run i was sure you were the one the one i was meant to find

all i ever wanted was to be loved i fell in love with that cocky smile of yours with the way you play with your hair you seem to be everywhere all i ever wanted was to be loved guess i shouldn’t bother anymore i realized i’m on my own no more fighting with your ghost

i scream get out of my head i dont’ wanna see you no more we are just a bunch of losers who lost that game called love

i know was replaced now it’s somebody else who you love i remember when you left i teared my dress tears streaming down my face

all i ever wanted was to be loved i fell in love with that cocky smile of yours with the way you play with your hair you seem to be everywhere all i ever wanted was to be loved guess i shouldn’t bother anymore i realized i’m on my own no more fighting with your ghost

i thought i had found love in you and im not one to play not your second choice im not up for a one way love i don’t want yo not anymore

it’s been another two weeks i have no trouble to sleep i made myself new memories i made myself brand new dreams no dreams to cry with

now i feel i’m alright i found someone who’s worth the try and even if he isn’t the one i realized i was the one i was meant to find

[fairyskytten]

“people are more difficult to work with than machines. when you break a person, they can´t be fixed”

percy jackson and the battle of the laberynth by rick riordan

[fairyskytten]

“I M  A L R I G H T”

i need someone to hug me, to hold me tight and ask me how im feeling so i can tell them “im alright”. i want them to realize, that’s not true and to care enough for me to reply with a “then why are you blue?”

people are self centered and end up talking about themselves cause they don’t really care for anybody else so i just listen to their rambling and if they ask how i’ve been doing i simply say “im alright”

i don’t wanna get into details cause they wouldn’t understand we don’t have the same issues so my response is “im alright” it really isn’t a great deal im not gonna die but id like if they truly cared for me at least this once

[fairyskytten]

“We do not suffer by accident”

pride and prejudice by jane austen

[fairyskytten]

B E A U T Y

she is beautiful not because of the way she looks but for the words she speaks

it’s not just the size of her waist nor the color of her eyes it’s what lies within

it’s her smile, her laugh, her thoughts, how kind she is

so don’t dare you call her beautiful just because she looks like the girl you saw on tv

call her beautiful once you’ve seen her cry, when you know how big her dreams are

call her beautiful when you know what’s inside her mind and are able to admire the spark in her eyes

beauty is not what it seems it’s not temporary it’s not hard to achieve

beauty is what’s inside her head it’s who she chooses to be her last thoughts before going to bed

beauty is when she wakes up and her hair is a mess but she carries a smile on her face

yes, she is beautiful but not in the way you thought she was

.

.

.

inspired by scott fitzgerald

[fairyskytten]

“if we wait until we’re ready we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives”

a series of unfortunate events by Lemony Snicket

[fairyskytten]

A N D  C O U N T I N G

didn’t mean hurt you it wasn’t the right call thought if i didn’t tell you it would mean nothing at all

you know that i’m selfish that i loose control but i swear it wasn’t my fault had too much alcohol

believe me, i didn’t meant it it’s hard to get through what i’ve been through i’ll make it up to you

one lie that I told two sides of the road those three words I never say had four chances to come clean drinking five days a week sober for no more than six going on for seven months i know you’ve been counting all this time

it wasn’t the kiss the reason i feel this betrayed you could’ve just told me truth but you chose to lie instead

seems i cant leave you a night on your own call me when you grow up your good boy cover was blown

i could try to believe that you are more than just this ugly mess but you are making it hard and there is no going back

one night ruined all two times you said you call three full days i’ve cried took me four to realize i have five things to pack and six seconds to run those seven months weren’t fun and I kept counting all this time

1 2 3 cant take it no more 4 5 6 don’t come knock on my door 7 8 9 there is no time for regrets i’m afraid if I get to 10 i won’t ever be able to stop i’ve got to stop counting i am done counting

10 9 8 please don’t end this dance 7 6 5 give me another chance 4 3 2 we are running out of time please don’t let me get to 1 beacuse that would mean we are done i don’t wanna stop counting say you’ll keep on counting

one lie that was told two hearts that were broke those three cursed empty words four years have gone to waste five last things to say six meters to the freeway seven places to go keep on counting for this long never stop counting at all

[fairyskytten]

S T O N E  H E A R T

was it foolish to think we’d last? i thought we were endgame but end came pretty fast turns out i wasn’t right

i really believed we were forever i had so much to give thought you were the right one guess i was just naive

my beating one could never warm your stone. cold. heart

you played me like a toy bounced me like a ball yeah you had no regrets never truly cared for anyone but yourself

now im glad i’m gonna be just fine my heart is mending my mind i am not looking back

you won’t make my desicions now left me in pieces and i picked them all i never needed you at all

you played me like a toy bounced me like a ball yeah you had no regrets never truly cared for anyone but yourself

used to cry about us but now i realize it was for the better we’ll never be together

i’ll  be waiting for the one to love me like i deserve the memory of you will fade i really hope things change

you played me like a doll but it didn’t make sense you kept choosing my dresses they were ugly as hell till i started to care not about you, but myself

someone will make your cold stone heart melt

[fairyskytten]

the thing is, fear can't hurt you any more than a dream

lord of the flies by william golding

[fairyskytten]

V O I C E  I N  M Y  H E A D

i find it hard to love myself when i hear that voice telling me everything that’s wrong with me wanting me to be that girl’s clon

dedication means nothing i always try my best but it makes me feel like a moron like im a total mess

it’s not easy to accept who i am never satisfied, i always want more i want prettier, funnier, smarter i sit and cry on the floor the voice in my head is telling me: is this all you’ve got?

i’m a sucker for validation maybe because i get none nothing i do it’s ever perfect it really is no fun

my worst enemy is myself i learned that at a young age got used to overwhelmed why is it so hard to turn the page?

[fairyskytten]

you like someone who can't like you back because unrequited love can be survived in a way that once-requited love cannot

will grayson, will grayson by john green