Grief Over Your Pet
Hey I want to write about grief, anxiety, depression and one of the factors it was caused by. My kitten Ruby Rose passed away on December 7 2010 after a tragic incident happened. It was my senior year in high school and turned 18 back in July. I loved Ruby so much and I cared for her safety very much because she was still a few months old especially when she died. Sometimes I wouldn’t let her go out after dark because we live in a neighborhood somebwhat in the country and there was wild animals that would come in the neighborhood. Sometimes when I was on the computer she would climb up and stand on my shoulder watching me like a parrot, also she loved to cuddle a lot like a lot of cats do.
But on a cold December afternoon I came home from school and my mother broke the news to me that Ruby passed away. Dead, my baby was dead. I broke down in crocodile tears and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My mom gave me a poem with her paw print on it when the vets were saying sorry for our loss. I stayed home the next day and it was painful I was moping, crying and severely depressed that day. I couldn’t watch certain movies because those movies reminded me so much of Ruby. Family and friends gave me their condolences when Ruby die and I was very thankful l, I didn’t realize Ruby’s death would take a piece of my heart with her to heaven. I cried about 2 to 3 times a week for her for about 7 months and it still was painful. Some people will just say “it’s just a cat you can get a new one”, but it’s not that simple, you have to go through the grieving process first and for some people who has lost a loved pet, for some people it will take along time.
After Ruby’s death I have gone through many other life changing events such as a party with my uncles side of the family and I didn’t know anyone really and it gave me a huge anxiety attack and after that I went through a deep dark depression from that as well. Medicating myself with alcohol and other substances has made it worse for my severe anxiety and OCD over the years. I don’t do it anymore but sometimes it felt it was the only escape out of the depression, severe anxiety and grief. Also family problems as well and other problems which has made me miserable. The past and severe guilt of things that I have done, my ocd, has been terrorizing me but I just want everyone to know I’m getting help for these problems. Ruby’s death is not the only cause but it’s definitely a cause.
I still think of ruby time and time again but I try to think how she’s in a better place and in no more pain. It’s heartbreaking for me but I know I have to keep going on in order to see her again. I just want pet owners to know that If you are going through the same grief as me for losing your beloved pet or pets , you are not alone.
This is a picture of ruby and the only picture I have of her. ❤️
