@falconys - Tumblr Blog

My ancestors, watching me dump an entire stick of cinnamon, two cloves, an allspice berry, and a generous grating of nutmeg into my tea, sweetened with white sugar and loaded with cream, while I sit in my clean warm house surrounded by books, 25+ outfits for different occasions, and 6 pairs of shoes, in a building heated so well I have the windows open in mid-autumn:

Our daughter prospers. We are proud of her. She has never labored in a field but knows riches we could not have imagined.

sighinastorm

I like this so much better than the idea that our ancestors would be embarrassed or ashamed of us for being “soft” or some crap like that.

therinde-dreams

My ancestors, watching me stuff my face with fried chicken while studying: She eats like an imperial concubine and can afford to study like am imperial scholar. WE MADE IT

ahagisborn

was just Remembering how you’d be out with a friend and you’d each order a different cocktail and you’d ask “what’d you get?” and they’d read the description off the menu and you’d be like “ooh that sounds good” and then they’d say “try it!” and then you’d have a lil sip of their drink and they’d have a lil sip of your drink and you’d decide which one was best and you wouldn’t give each other a life-threatening respiratory infection

your-wifes-boyfriend

solassitudes

networking this, emails that, linkedin this. maybe I don’t want to.

anxietyproblem

absoluteconceptofbeauty

matching couple shirts that say "bearer of the curse" on one of them and ,"the curse" on the other

guerrillatech

chongoblog

Presenting an informal graph titled "Frequency of Graphs That Look Like That Appearing Over Time"

cafffine

oumaimas

i just saw this guy drink coffee thru his mask like thru the cloth. it left a splotch right in the middle. i dont even know anymore

anotherpapercut

apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

anotherpapercut

this is the phone. he apparently was in the middle of a meeting with the department the other day and got annoyed so he pressed a button, said “I have to take this” and left

beka-tiddalik

David’s co-workers probably: “This is a valid tactic to embarrass him into buying a mobile phone, right?”

David: “Bold of you to assume that I get embarrassed.”

schmergo

To all the parents out there who bundle their babies up in the winter time with those little hats with the little ears that make them look like little teddy bears: You are doing the lord’s work. Seeing tiny ewoks toddle across the grocery store parking lot is just what we all need sometimes. My joy is immeasurable and my day is restored.

byjove

THE PROPRIETOR OF MY LOCAL ANTIQUE MALL IS THREATENING MASKLESS PEOPLE WITH A BASEBALL BAT, MY FUCKING KING

byjove

review I just left after buying $150 worth of records there :)

cptkitten

op where is the store

byjove

the AntiQue mall

byjove

violence is not bad especially when you’re a little old man selling antiques for your livelihood and people keep threatening your life by attempting to infect you with a deadly virus