Ophelia

23 / Welcome to my self indulgent hell! I'm a dumb bitch with bad taste and I will never change. That's my guarantee.

[cutecipher]

[raccoonsamus7]

demon

[cutecipher]

another fucking vile comment bot!

[wheatiewintry]

women deserve to be ugly. and by that i mean they should be allowed to have conventionally "unattractive" features and not be treated as lesser for it. women should be allowed to be fat and lanky and tall and short and have scars and physical differences and stretch marks and cellulite and acne and wrinkles and hair on their faces and arms and legs and armpits and maybe even be a little stinky and gross sometimes. and this should be normal

[flythesail]

You should automatically get time off work until the light returns to your eyes and you feel like a real person again

[thestuffedalligator]

The best part of getting older is aging out of the demographic that gets killed in horror movies. I am now the age of the kooky local at the gas station who warns the band of college kids not to go to Camp Murderblood

[blckgirlacid]

I need my weird alone time or I will explode

[amanitaphalloides]

maybe next year instead of amateur fireworks on every block for hours and hours we can try holding up a single beautiful flower

[iphigeniacomplex]

[girl in a low cut top voice] i just dont know what it is but everyone is being sooo nice to me today….[grows grave and guarded] they’re conspiring against my reign and they think me a fool

[oeing-oeing-clay]

wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude

[gorps]

[pancakeke]

precious internet megabits wasted to send me this stupid fucking email

[haaarpb]

havent drawn a self portrait in a while

[wetorturedsomefolks]

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

[dogpuppy]

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

[moisterpeggingchampion]

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

[dogpuppy]

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

[medievaljournalist]

did anyone else notice that they changed elfs. like elfs are different now

[geniusbee]

these are getting weird

[boringkate]

You wanna log in? What's your username? No. What's your email address? What's your password? What code did we just send to your email address? Now what code did we just text to you? New IP address detected. We sent you an email. Click the link to confirm the new address. Scan your fingerprint. Turn on your camera for age verification. Sign the updated user agreement. Accept all cookies? That feature isn't available on the website. Download the app. Those features are in the app. The app that's really a web browser.

[palmer]

here’s what’s going to happen: im gonna fuck your dad. in his hole, no flip-flop versatile fag shit. hes gonna love it, whimpering moaning all that crap. i don’t care, im recording it. im going to take all those stupid bisexual bottom noises he’s making and im going to sample them for my hot new hardcore dubstep album. it will suck shit and a bunch of poly gen x losers are going to love it and give me so much money because they all own independent breweries in portland where most of their income is from the weekly burlesque shows they hold there. then im going to buy a sailboat and sail to the remote island of tristen de cunha where some of the finest wool in the world is woven. ill spend the rest of my dubstep money on that wool, unprocessed. sell it at a premium in siberian marketplaces. then im going to buy imax, the company. every imax screen in the world is going to only show legally blondes, the legally blonde spinoff about elle woods’ twin cousins. everyone is going to be pissed as fuck and i wont care.