18+ || Fandom Fuckery || 18+

@fanby-fckry

18+ Blog | Minors DNI Fanby on AO3 Multifandom | Multi- and Poly-shipper The almost-30-year-old mutual They/Xe/It/He Icon ID: A digital drawing of my Fallen angel/Fallen Exorcist O.C., Raze, with a blank, neutral expression, wearing a white T-shirt that says, "immoral support," over its usual sleeveless turtleneck, drawn in a simplified style with a crayon brush. Above it is a banner which reads, "Live Raze Reaction," in the style of the "Live Slug Reaction" meme. Header ID: The page from The Book of Bill lost journal pages where Bill spells out Ford's name with dead rats. // End ID

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📌 Welcome, friends, foes, and passersby, to my personal piece of fandom Hell.

Latest Ask Game(s): Expression Meme for Dual and Raze || Colorful OC Asks

Infinite Tile Requests: Closed :(

You can help support me and my art on kofi at https://ko-fi.com/fanby

This Blog Contains:

Adult content

Kink

Problematic media

Fictional depictions of violence and gore

Discussion of potentially triggering content

Please see this post for a list of tags you may want to block.

As a rule of thumb, I tend to tag things #[trigger] cw and use the keep reading feature in extreme cases. Please ask if you need me to tag something.

Viewer discretion is advised; be safe, bloggers.

Fandoms:

911 The Amazing Devil

The Amazing Digital Circus

Avatar: the Last Airbender

Death Note

Doctor Who

Fullmetal Alchemist

Good Omens — I do not support NG

Goncharov — (Unreality)

❤️ Gravity Falls

❤️ Hazbin Hotel

❤️ Helluva Boss

My Chemical Romance

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Riordanverse

RWBY

Soul Eater

Steven Universe

Supernatural

The Witcher

The X Files

I tend to cycle through them based on the whims of my wretched gremlin brain. When and why the cycle changes is unknown even to me.

Current main fandoms are marked with a ‘❤️’

As Close to a DNI as I’m Willing to Post:

X-FILES

#the x files #undescribed

spacenoodlez-doodlez

Fluffy Huskerdust sketch dump I did some time ago!!

#hazbin hotel #huskerdust #angel dust hazbin hotel #husk hazbin hotel #id in alt text

This is so fucking funny

rosemaryslullaby

#she would say that tho #doctor who #clara oswald #undescribed

belly of the beast

#gravity falls #billford #stanford pines #bill cipher #undescribed

he is a normal and mentally stable individual

#gravity falls #stanford pines #bill cipher #fiddleford mcgucket

this is how that first meeting went right

#gravity falls #billford #stanford pines #bill cipher

The missing Journal 3 pages in TBOB are so interesting to me in further contextualizing Ford's mindset of shame regarding Bill. We'd gotten a snippet of it in the original J3 release:

But Bill shows us the less pragmatic motivations behind his actions, the mushy feely stuff he was too embarrassed to properly journal, putting certain series events into new context. Particularly this scene where after a whole episode of dancing around it, he finally opens up to Dipper about the nature of their relationship:

"Bill wasn't always my enemy, Dipper. I used to think he was my friend, long long ago..."

But does he really tell the full truth here? The cat's out of the bag, Dipper knows they had a deal, there's no reason not to tell everything. But Ford proceeds to explain his reasoning for summoning Bill as a purely practical, scientifically-driven one.

"I had hit a roadblock on my investigation of Gravity Falls. Until I found some mysterious writing in a cave. Ancient incantations about a being with answers. It warned me not to read them, but I was desperate."

Desperate...for what? Ford would have us believe it was for the sake of knowledge. Yet TBOB shows us that this is the entry immediately preceding his and Bill's first meeting.

Ford isn't some unfeeling robot powered solely by knowledge, he has human needs. He was lonely, lonely enough to summon a demon for companionship. A companionship so intimate, he describes his meeting Bill as the best day of his life, and laments the periods of absence from him.

That desire for intimacy is ultimately what drove him, and even with all his dirty laundry laid out he can't admit that part to Dipper. Maybe he doesn't even realize it himself, at least not until the post-Weirdmaggedon sections of TBOB:

Under the shame of unleashing Bill Cipher's destruction on the world, there's a much deeper shame: that Stanford Pines is not a lone-wolf, unfeeling sci-fi hero, but a fallible human being, capable of illogical sentimentality and longing for approval and (in)human connection. The exact nature of this sentimentality and longing is left to interpretation, but the efforts he goes to to conceal it make me lean towards something beyond platonic. Alex Hirsch's own words might support this:

"I think he is deeply, deeply hiding from his real feelings about things, because at some point early on, he decided that he could run from hurt by achievement and by creation, and has dug that hole so deep that he has no relationships. He doesn't have friendships, he doesn't have romantic relationships, he is someone trapped in a tower of his own mind and estranged. Ford shows none of that. He has sublimated himself romantically so, so deeply. (…) I really thought of Ford kind of like Tesla in that realm.”

TL;DR Ford is up in his feelings about Bill and repressing hard. This is also eerily reminiscent of the self-blame abuse survivors engage in, the hesitance to tell others, and shame over persisting feelings for their abuser.

#gravity falls #billford #stanford pines #bill cipher

when your fave's whole existence is a cruel joke

#lmao #gravity falls #billford #stanford pines #bill cipher

the prince and his owlet

#helluva boss #stolas helluva boss #octavia goetia #undescribed

@tempusedax-rerum pointed out this is actually a really good DBT skill and if Bill managed to put it to use, it would be a huge step forward in therapy for him. and I think that would make him really mad

#gravity falls #bill cipher #undescribed

Let people grow.

When I was younger I was very right-wing. I mean…very right-wing. I won’t go into detail, because I’m very deeply ashamed of it, but whatever you’re imagining, it’s probably at least that bad. I’ve taken out a lot of pain on others; I’ve acted in ignorance and waved hate like a flag; I’ve said and did things that hurt a lot of people.

There are artefacts of my past selves online – some of which I’ve locked down and keep around to remind me of my past sins, some of which I’ve scrubbed out, some of which are out of my grasp. If I were ever to become famous, people could find shit on me that would turn your stomach.

But that’s not me anymore. I’ve learned so much in the last ten years. I’ve become more open to seeing things through others’ eyes, and reforged my anger to turn on those who harm others rather than on those who simply want to exist. I’ve learned patience and compassion. I’ve learned how to recognise my privileges and listen to others’ perspectives. I’ve learned to stand up for others, how to hear, how to help, how to correct myself. And I learned some startling shit about myself along the way – with all due irony, some of the things I used to lash out at others for are intrinsic parts of myself.

You wouldn’t know what I am now from what I was then. You wouldn’t know what I was then from what I am now.

It distresses me deeply to think of someone dredging up my dark, awful past and treating me as though that furiously hateful person is still me. It distresses me to see others dredging up the past for anyone who has made efforts to become a better person, out of some sick obsession with proving they’re “problematic.”

Purity culture tells you that once someone says or does something, they can never go back on it. That’s a goddamn lie. While it’s true that some remain unrepentant and never change their ways and continue to harm others, it’s important to allow everyone the chance to learn from their mistakes. Saying something ignorant isn’t murder. Please stop treating it that way. Let people grow.

Still call it out and question it ….

Bruh. No. Listen. Call out what people do now, absolutely. If they haven’t changed, call them out on their record. This post is explicitly not about people who HAVEN’T changed. What this post IS saying is, if someone is making an effort to be a good person, don’t go digging around in their past for evidence that they were once for what they’re now against, or once against what they’re now for, as “proof” of what they “really think,” because people’s opinions and beliefs can change.

The obsession with finding shit in someone’s past and then claiming that a questionable or even sordid past negates all possibility of a good present needs to become extinct. Gold-star activism and purity culture are bullshit and we need to collectively reject the fuck out of them.

If someone has changed for the better, don’t harass them about what they were like before they fuckin’ changed. That’s shitty and it needs to stop.

We can’t change the world if we decide people can’t change.

Gold-star activism and purity culture are bullshit and we need to collectively reject the fuck out of them.

We really need to start asking where this purity bullshit came from. I’m not Christian and was not raised Christian but there has been a lot evidence that much of gold star activism and purity culture originated in of evangelical youth movements and then infiltrated progressive left-wing and center-left politics when those youth left their churches but failed to leave behind the black-n-white puritanical “you’re going to hell if you stray one inch from the righteous path” style of thinking they were taught.

I distinctly remember some conversations I had in the late 00s and very early 2010s with long time social justice activists who were baffled and disturbed by the new crop of youth activists who were practicing something that was decidedly NOT social justice despite stealing that phrase from us.

In the decade and a half that has passed since then, all of this gold-star activism and purity culture has done exactly what I predicted back then: empowered the far-right while sowing division everywhere.

Folks. This shit needs to stop.

mikeyisbrooklyn

I think all that is said is valid and overall agree, but there’s a bit I want to add here.

If you are one of these people who use to practice harmful behaviors or have harmful beliefs (which, most of us are), and you run into people who are a part of the marginalized group said behavior and beliefs harmed and they openly distrust or avoid you, you are allowed to:

- Be distressed and have big feelings about the knowledge that there are just people who will never trust you again.

- Seek guidance and counsel from others (who aren’t a part of the above group) about these feelings.

You are not, however, ever allowed to:

- Whine that a marginalized person looking out for themselves and their community is being “mean”, or “unfair”, or “won’t let you change”.

- Use their distrust of you as an excuse to not put in the work.

The harsh truth is: for some people you have crossed a moral event horizon of sorts. That is to say, you’ve done something they can never forgive or something that irreparably breaks trust. Everyone has these lines; this is a normal human thing. It’s something I learned as I left my teen years; things I did to others that they will live with the scars of for the rest of their days. I can’t take that back and they have no obligation to forgive me or accept me into their life or their space or even their community.

This isn’t said to discourage you, this is said to refocus your efforts. In fact, another hard truth is: if your desire to change comes from a yearning for external validation (forgiveness), your change isn’t sustainable. Baby steps are important and it’s GREAT that you recognize any hurt you caused and want to do right by those people, but there must come a point where it stops being about wanting “to do right by [them]” and instead simply doing as right as you can.

I can hardly believe I’m quoting my mother here but one of the best pieces of advice she gave me was “stop being so attached to the outcome, that’s why you’re always anxious”. This is relevant because she often told me this after I put in a lot of work for something and it didn’t turn out and I would always wonder “lady what? I care a lot, this means a lot to me, why wouldn’t I be attached to it”. But as an adult it clicked for me, what she meant was to stop obsessing over things you can’t control. In this world, the only thing you can control is your actions. Not what your actions bring, not have people react to them, not how things turn out. None of that. Just you and your actions. So when you set out to do the work, to rehabilitate and unlearn harmful behavior and beliefs, remember that you can’t control how people will receive you.

Some people hate you forever. Some people will keep their distance. Some people with give you a chance, but only one or just a few. Some people may even accept you with open arms unconditionally. But regardless of how anyone reacts, you need to stay the path. The work needs to be done whether the sun shines or the clouds roll in.

made this stupid ugliness

#beautiful #gravity falls #undescribed

wirelessmousegirl

You're just saying that because your a sick pervert who gets off to themes and ideas

I try not to fall into the "I never liked their work anyway" ditch when an artist/creator reveals themself to be a terrible person

BUT

a feeling I do have and will stand by is "While I enjoyed their work overall I did have some gripes that I overlooked out of affection and whimsy, but now that my loyalty is gone and my affection tainted there is nothing holding me back from enumerating my many grievances, to which the revelations of the creator's shittiness may or may not provide a new and infuriating context."

"This person has a secret onlyfans!" "This artist does NSFW commissions!" "This author writes porn on the side!" I cannot begin to tell you how swag and awesome that is.

wholesome-animal-images

#aw #undescribed

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