Okay so I have thoughts about this scene alone, oh boy.Ā
The way Arthur cradles Merlinās head so gently - if itās for the sake of it, or a reminiscence to the way he sometimes used to put his hand on his neck instead of the hug he couldnāt (bring himself to) give; or maybe itās one last, weak attempt to pull him into a kiss after all that he doesnāt quite manage anymore.Ā
Or maybe itās that last, silentĀ āI love youā that he canāt say out loud - because maybe heās still terrified of rejection despite everything, or maybe of not being good enough, OR - and thatās my personal theory - he didnāt say it because it seemed cruel, because he knew Merlin would have an even harder time of moving on if he finally, finally heard it and then lost him. Arthur already told himĀ āI donāt want you to change,ā (no matter what happens, Merlin,) because he knew that for Merlin it would be near-impossible to not break over his death as it wouldāve been for Arthur.Ā
Right, and then - look at Arthur, look at him. He looks.. content. Like heās exactly where he wants to be, sees what he wants to see in that final moment. Iām convinced that he knew he would die for longer than Merlin wanted to admit, and all Arthur wanted was to be right there, in that position with that one person, and his only concern was to maybe offer some comfort to Merlin as well. Like. I donāt mean heās in any way content to die, but he found peace. He told Merlin so, saidĀ āWe finally brought peace,ā talked aboutĀ āThe Kingdom we built,ā and Arthur was always ready to die in battle and yeah, if he has to die, then like this.Ā
There are no more secrets, no more barriers between them. Arthur doesnāt need to worry about being king anymore, about whatās appropriate or possible consequences, and the last little distance between them that - Iām simply convinced of this - both could always feel because of the secrets Merlin had to keep is finally gone. Arthur finally knows what it was thatĀ āhe never could put his finger on,ā and Merlin finally knows that ArthurĀ āreally sees and accepts himā and you can read that in every single line of their faces in this scene.Ā
Seriously, both their acting is so good in this, and the whole last episode to be honest, I could probably write rambling interpretations to every single scene in The Diamond of the Day, though Iād probably break my heart even more than Iām already doing.Ā
Anyway. Yeah. This scene, it makes me feel so many things itās not even funny.Ā Ā
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