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I hate men so much they literally are like this. Purposeful incompetence to avoid responsibilities they don’t want …………… the comments on this post on fb were So bad

patrickat

Save the leftovers. Throw the whole man out.

runcibility

Imagine being this fucking petty over a reasonable request to do even a fraction of the share of housework, and thinking you’re a good partner. Makes you understand how so many dudes can be clueless and full of shit on so many other topics, too.

smitethestate

I hope his wife poured a glass of spaghetti and gulped it slowly while making steady eye contact with him as her lawyer presented the divorce papers.

soryualeksi

“Haha, that’ll TEACH my wife!!”

Dude, you’re supposed to LOVE her. I hope she sees this and dumps your worthless ass. While she has that glass of spaghetti.

january-warlock

#marie kondo your marriage

bloodytales

Don’t put up with stupid. If your husband or boyfriend does this may I suggest… well… treating him like the idiot he pretends to be? Use it as a “teaching moment.”

“Honey come here. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you didn’t know what Tupperware you have to use. Here, let me explain every container we have. That way the next time you have to put food away you know which container to use.”

And then proceed, in excruciating detail, which containers are which, what they are used for, the correct lids, and how to put on the lids. Do it in as condescending voice as possible.

If he tries to say that he knows, or tries to stop you in any way, just calmly say, “no, you shouldn’t be embarrassed by this. It’s okay to admit you don’t know how to do something. Next time just ask, sweetie.” And continue in as much inane detail as possible.

If he tries this bullshit again, pat him on the head, and say “good try, but let’s review” and then do it all over again.

magentam-deactivated20190202

i check the nintendo switch subreddit for news from time to time, and this was one of the trending posts for today. how cute…

joulesok-blog-deactivated202109

this is the most heartwarming shit.

ironwoman359

this is what makes Kirby so great <3

hymnofvalefor

seymour-butz-stuff

Con-man to the bitter end.

During his interview with 60 Minutes, Trump had Baghdad Barbie (Kayleigh McEnany) present Lesley Stahl with an oversized, 10 inch, hard bound book on his health care polices. It was so big and heavy, Stahl had difficulty holding it. I guess Trump thought 60 minutes would simply judge the book by its cover and never open it, but …. (checks notes) … they did, revealing it was empty, full of blank pages.

Trump’s bungling continued as he just posted photographs of the stunt to his own twitter account.

Dumbest grifters — evah.

At least now we know why Trump stormed out of his interview.

Stahl opened the book.

She.

Opened.

The.

Book.

Trump went through the expense of having a thick book bound… of blank paper.

Then handed it to a reporter. Not Hannity. Not Tucker. Not Ingraham. Not Bartiromo.

A reporter.

Trump’s been living in fantasyland for so long he’s forgotten that people in the real world don’t reflexively believe the shit he says.

whitepeopletwitter

odinsblog

via christianmhull

rogha

tumblr comedy I haven’t seen in a while and I kind of miss: when someone says like ‘smoothies are great’ and then someone else says ‘juices are great too!’ and the first person says ‘make your own post’ and then the second person says ‘okay’ and then you scroll down and theres a second post.

ishouldreallygetofftheinternet

I also love seeing posts where someone says something that clearly sets up a joke and then has very obviously messaged their friend to question it in a reblog so they deliver the punchline with maximum impact. Haven't seen that in a while

rogha

make your own post

ishouldreallygetofftheinternet

I love seeing posts where someone says something that clearly sets up a joke and then has very obviously messaged their friend to question it in a reblog so they deliver the punchline with maximum impact. Haven't seen that in a while

ishouldreallygetofftheinternet

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

today I had a dream that there was a species of deer called “ice deer” and every winter they’d travel up North and have their babies in a frozen cavern and the babies would be sort of comatose in the cold, and then the deer would leave the babies there and migrate South until spring, and just before the first thaw, they’d go back up North and find their babies and wait for them to thaw out and wake up and they’d nurse them.

But with the Earth getting warmer and spring coming sooner and winters being less harsh up North, the babies were starting to thaw out too early, so when the Ice Deer got to them, they’d been awake already and starved to death.

So there were only like, 300 Ice Deer left. They were bigger than elks, all white with blue antlers that even the females grew, and I realized the only solution would be to somehow lead them North every year when it started thawing. As a human I could check the weather and the ice in the North Pole and when it was time to go to the babies, even if the deer thought it was still winter.

So I had to devise a plan to get the Ice Deer to follow me North to their babies on time every spring, and it just became part of my life. I did other stuff and lived life as usual while keeping track of the weather near the end of winter and I’d be like, welp it’s time to lead the deer North, and I’d set out to find their winter home.

And a lot of people were like “this isn’t a permanent solution. We need to focus on climate change so it’s fixed for good.”

and I was like dang I know but the Ice Deer need us right now so, someone’s gotta do it? And it just became a thing I did.

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

ppl messaging me like “I thought this was real for a minute”:

cynegrim

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

: O !!!!!!!!

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

Everyone asking is absolutely allowed to use the Ice Deer in their fantasy world building and in fact I encourage it bc I love the idea of this one made up animal quietly linking all of your universes.

bambi-zeppeli

I HATE WHEN PEOPLE ARE GROSSED OUT BY UNUSED TAMPONS. THATS LIKE BEING GROSSED OUT BY UNUSED NAPKINS, OR CLEAN SHEETS, OR CLEAN UNDERWEAR. LIKE OMG ITS NOT GOING TO HURT YOU. ITS CLEAN. TAMPONS EXIST WHY DO WOMEN HAVE TO BE EMBARRASSED OR HIDE THEM. ugh

wittyandcharming

Once I had an unopened box of tampons in plain view and my stepdad acted like that was some huge breach of social etiquette. I asked why on earth he was acting so weird about it, and he said, “Well you wouldn’t want me leaving a box of condoms lying around would you?”

Okay first of all, that you’re even implying that tampons and condoms are comparable items is fucking stupid since condoms are used for sex and tampons are used to like, you know, not bleed all the fuck over ourselves during this biological function none of us can stop. So that begs the question of why the fuck you’re sexualizing periods or items required to live hygienically during one, wherein the answer is that you believe vaginas are inherently sexual and only exist as something to stick your dick in. Because me leaving an unopened box of tampons in view is literally the same thing as leaving a stick of deodorant or a bar of fucking soap out on the counter if you’re considering them by their function. But God forbid I remind you vaginas exist in neutral everyday circumstances and that they don’t just manifest when you wanna fuck one.

herfleur-deactivated20250810

Lots of important lines in here

toastbutteregg

srsfunny

An Idea To Prevent A Nuclear War

pocketrunner

“My suggestion was quite simple: Put that needed code number in a little capsule, and then implant that capsule right next to the heart of a volunteer. The volunteer would carry with him a big, heavy butcher knife as he accompanied the President. If ever the President wanted to fire nuclear weapons, the only way he could do so would be for him first, with his own hands, to kill one human being. The President says, “George, I’m sorry but tens of millions must die.” He has to look at someone and realize what death is—what an innocent death is. Blood on the White House carpet. It’s reality brought home.” - Richard Fisher, Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists (1981)

north-bi-northwest

Never forget that part of the reason this system was never implemented was that when he presented it to his colleagues, their response was IIRC “George, that’s terrible! If he has to take an innocent life, he may never press the button.”

beachdeath

emtmercy

ICONIC

sarahviahhday

I was gonna put this in my queue but tbh I think it’s more relevant right now.

cluegrrl

Yeah.

slightlyoddbutcharming

This is probably the best ukulele playing I’ve ever seen.

vivalospunks-deactivated2015071

Okay so this is a real effort into playing the ukulele and I’m so happy they take it as seriously as they do

nerdfaceangst

It’s always wild when people are amazed by proper Ukulele playing because what they consider “good” is whatever mainlanders are attempting to play while asserting some “quirky” vibe. Ukulele has become trendy on the mainland and people are amazed by what we consider BASIC skills and boring same chord repetition over and over. PLUS malihini don’t even pronounce the name right (what the fuck is a yuu-kuu-lay-lee hahaha).

Here in Hawaiʻi we are busting it out (like these killer wahines) every day in ways you can’t even imagine. Half my nā hoahānau play like this!

We stay laughing. These wahines choke deadly.