MaraudersParabatai

My kinks: beautiful people, amazing songs, kick ass ladies, bad boys, good books, TV shows and movies, supernatural and magical shit, sass, sarcasm, aesthetic

[lavenderprose]

Things that are ACTUALLY in the Shane Hollander Mic'd Up compilation that we all wish we could watch through the portal:

- "Hey, how was your summer? Good, good."

- "Mic'd up. I'm mic'd up. Don't."

- "Have you ever been to Greece? Told Ilya I would ask you."

- "What? No, man, he didn't say that. He said he was gonna get your ass. Yeah, man, he only fucks one ass. Yeah, I mean, I would say fuck you too but--"

- "Heeeey, davai, davai. Great assist. Hah, no, don't come closer, I'm mic'd and you know I don't trust you."

- "The Royal Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play. The Royal Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play. The Royal--"

- "HEY MATHESON. You ever been to Vegas? I said, you ever been to VEGAS? I hear they let the good hockey players go there in the summer but I feel like you wouldn't know that."

- "FUCK. Hey, ref, what the fuck was that? Oh, you didn't see that? Fuck you. No, you stay there, my husband's gonna talk to you--fuck you, put me in the bin then, this is bullshit--"

- "You have the smelling salts? Yeah. FUCK--"

- "I am mic'd. Remember I am mic'd. Nope, not even in Russian."

- "Oh, yeah, the pickle video was funny. Harris said it got a lot of views, so. Yeah, no, he actually really does love pickles that much."

- "Sinclair, you got something to say? Yeah, I'm better at hide the pickle than you are at hockey. You want to ask another stupid question?"

- "You know, I run a charity too. Oh, I just assumed that you were doing some kind of Make-A-Wish thing out here with your wingers, since it looks like this is your first day on the ice."

- "Oh, hey, look. Jackie and the kids are waving at us. Okay. Okay, Rozanov, that's enough."

- "Mic'd. Mic'd. Mic'd."

- "Hello Hockey Night, welcome to my husband's shoulder pads--" "Fuck OFF, Rozanov."

- "Great goal. Great goal. Lyublyu tebya. Yes, baby, you did that."

[chubby-cry-baby]

as we know shane rarely cries but they watch Past Lives and shane genuinely is inconsolable at “you dream in a language i can’t understand” like ilya has to turn off the movie and get shane water and hold him and shane is trying to explain how he’s trying to learn faster and he wishes he understood russian and he wishes he knew what ilya was dreaming but he’s cry hiccuping and can’t get the words out and he’s saying he wishes he could help ilya more with the depression and that svetlana lived closer and that he wishes he knew that his mom called him ilyusha but none of the words are coming out coherently.

[oftirnanog]

I am begging you all to understand what is happening during the Vegas bathroom scene.

the reason shane folds so easily is that he doesn't think he should be upset with ilya in the first place. if he's thinking about it logically—which he is trying very hard to do!—then he thinks ilya is doing the smart thing by staying away. that six months of no contact? the correct move! from Shane's objective perspective. but he's not obejctive about ilya. and he is upset. so then he's also upset with himself for being upset with ilya in the first place. because he thinks he shouldn't be! what the two of them have going on is a very bad idea! and if they talk about it at this point, the conclusion will be that they should stop. so they don't talk. because neither of them can walk away from the other. they are down horrendous and they don't. know. what. to do about it. because they cannot have a relationship. that is what they believe at the core of it. this thing between them is impossible. and yes, they are hurting each other, but they are also hurting themselves. and they know it! but they'll take what they can get! like everyone thinks it's just Shane taking what he can get from ilya, but it works both ways! ilya is also taking what he can get from shane.

I cannot stress this enough—by following shane into that bathroom, ilya. breaks. first. some of you are forgetting about the very specific nature of their situation and how impossible they believe it to be. they literally cannot see an alternative to what they currently have going on. and so the constant push and pull isn't just happening between them, it's happening internally. they are constantly, CONSTANTLY telling themselves to walk away. so when the other pulls back, they're like yeah! smart move, my man, I wish I had the strength! except neither of them can actually maintain that distance because neither of them really does have the strength. they are so catastrophically down bad! they are sick with the wanting. it is killing them. which is how they end up hurting each other and themselves so badly.

[fangirltillmydeath]

Thank you finally someone with sense. People wanting Shane to get Ilya back, that’s not how their relationship works!! If Shane was like that they would’ve only hooked up a few times and moved on long before being boyfriends was a possibility

[rainbow-femme]

OK but. For all his not being great with social cues, Shane was the first person to realize Ilya was playing and played along

The first time they meet Ilya is pretty standoffish and the only moment he adds to the conversation is when he calls out “You will not be so friendly when we beat you” which a lot of people would get mad at him being, you know, a cocky asshole as is his reputation. But Shane just smiles and says “That’s not gonna happen” then gives him the cute penguin wave and leaves

Ilya beats Shane in that game, then at the draft, then starts baiting him with the cycling, then gives Shane the sarcastic “Sorry” when Shane answers that the day was almost everything he’d dreamed of

And again Shane doesn’t get mad at him he just smiles and says “No you’re not”

Because Ilya is just playing! He’s just doing the thing hockey guys do and poking fun at other players. But he’s also objectively better than most other people so they take it more personally than they do other players

He’s a big puppy trying to play with other puppies but because he’s stronger they get upset and don’t want to play with him, Shane is the first one who plays back and doesn’t take it personally

Like no wonder he set up the commercial with Shane, that would probably be pretty nerve wracking on his own but he knows Shane is nice and won’t be mean to him or get mad at him, and when he starts laughing part way through other people might have gotten mad at him for not caring or not taking it seriously, but Shane just starts laughing too

He’s the only person able to match his skill at hockey, he’s the only person to actually begin getting him as a person since he arrived, he plays along with the banter and matches Ilya’s energy without ever taking it personally

And honestly given the reputation he had before he’d ever even set foot in North America, Shane was probably one of the few people in over a year who was just plain nice to him

[barbie-verse]

heated rivalry twitter (34/?) in honour of hudson's birthday have some of shane being "secretly the funniest guy I know"

bonus: ilya's contact info for shane

[philanthropic-insouciance]

[ivviannaa]

it's very important to me that everyone knows that ilya rozanov is not a fighter. that is canonically part of why he's so annoying on the ice. usually when people throw verbal punches, they're willing and ready to throw physical ones too. ilya, however, is not; he talks his shit and then backs it up by being the best on the ice. he's both boston and ottawa's most beloved player and captain, and punching him will only get the people who ARE fighters on you

the people who are fighters most notably including troy barrett. people always seem to forget that troy, even after joining and adapting to the centaurs, is An Asshole. he's scrappy, he gets in fights with players and refs alike— he's just one of those players that, no matter how chill they are off of the ice, will never hesitate to drop gloves. i feel like that's a very important part of his character that people assume went away after he gets with harris and comes out, but it didn't. he's still a dick on the ice even if he isn't off if it

[stele3]

So I had some truly incomprehensible conversations recently with people who firmly believe that Heated Rivalry is Russian propaganda -- because the (Canadian) show depicts a queer Russian man as sympathetic? I guess?? -- and while that was obviously a bugfuck weird opinion to have, it did inspire me to think more about the timeline of the show (as pulled from the timeline I put together) vs. the timeline of modern Russian legislation targeting the queer population. (I didn't realize these were Christmas colors until halfway thru making this; I didn't do that on purpose.)

Strap in, kids.

1922/1926 - the Bolshevik Revolution decriminalizes homosexuality.

1933 - Joseph Stalin recriminalizes homosexuality, coinciding with a rise in imperialistic leanings. The Holodomor famine is inflicted on Ukraine by the USSR, and over the next forty years or so, the Soviet Union annexes, invades, and/or occupies most of Eastern and Central Europe, as well as establishing satellite states in places like Finland, Afghanistan, Mongolia, Yugoslavia, and China.

1993 - After the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991, a new criminal code is adopted in the Russian federation; homosexuality decriminalized and gay prisoners released.

1999 - homosexuality is declassified as a mental illness in Russian Federation.

2000 - Putin comes to power as president of the Russian Federation and brings in sweeping attitudes of "traditional values" and Russian imperialism.

2006 - first attempted Pride Parade in Moscow results in violent clashes. First region in Russian Federation passes ban on "homosexual propaganda."

December 2008 - First Prospect Cup. Shane and Ilya meet. Russia/Ilya wins.

June 2009 - NHL draft in Los Angeles. Ilya drafted first, Shane drafted second. They have that intense stareoff in the hotel gym.

Dec 2009 - 2nd Prospect Cup held in Ottawa. Shane/Canada wins.

March 2010 - Russia fined by European Court of Human Rights because many Russian cities refuse to allow Pride parades.

June 2010 - Shane and Ilya shoot a commercial together (that Ilya set up) in Toronto. Shower scene, then first sex in Shane’s hotel room.

Jan or Feb 2011 - All-Star game in Nashville. *Scott Hunter sees all* Second sex in Ilya’s hotel room, they makes a plan for fucking at Shane’s apartment in 2 weeks after a game in Montreal.

Feb 2011 - game in Montreal canceled because of inclement weather.

May 2011 - NHL awards in Las Vegas, *Scott Hunter sees all* Shane wins Rookie of the Year award. Shane and Ilya kiss on rooftop, Ilya goes back to Russia for summer.

2011-2012 - more regions in the Russian Federation pass legislation prohibited open discussion of homosexuality and public events such as Pride.

2012 - "Advocacy group Immigration Equality said that in the last two years, it won more gay and lesbian asylum cases for Russians [...] than from any other country besides Jamaica."

Summer 2011-Fall 2013 - Shane and Ilya text back and forth and play against each other but do not hook up.

June 2013 - Russian Federation passes a federal law banning: "Propaganda of non-traditional sexual relations among minors, manifested in the distribution of information aimed at forming non-traditional sexual orientations, the attraction of non-traditional sexual relations, distorted conceptions of the social equality of traditional and non-traditional sexual relations among minors, or imposing information on non-traditional sexual relations which evoke interest in these kinds of relations."

Oct 2013 - game in Montreal. Sexting before the game. Shane/Montreal wins. Ilya goes to Shane’s apartment, first actual fucking.

Dec 2013 - federal law passed allowing media regulator to block websites calling for public protest in wake of anti-gay law.

Feb 2014 - Sochi Olympics. Russia/Ilya gets knocked out early. Ilya isn’t responding to Shane’s texts, rebuffs him when Shane tries to see how he’s doing. Shane/Canada win.

Mar 2014 - Russian Federation illegally annexes Crimea, a part of Ukraine. Nationalism grips the country: hate crimes against LGBT+ individuals and other minorities skyrocket.

Apr 2014 - Montreal/Shane get knocked out of the playoffs early, Boston/Ilya win Stanley Cup.

May 2014 - NHL awards in Las Vegas, Ilya wins MVP of the year. Bathroom scene, then Shane goes to Ilya’s room for "no kiss" sex.

Summer 2014-Summer 2016 - montage, Shane and Ilya hooking up and playing hockey.

May 2015 - Federal law prohibits "undesirable organizations" from operating within Russia. The list includes many LGBT rights organizations.

October 2016 - tuna melts, Shane and Ilya miscommunicate and crash out. Shane starts dating Rose, they see each other at the club, and Shane breaks up with Rose, all before the end of the year. Shane had a busy autumn.

Feb 2017-present - anti-gay purges carried out in Chechnya. Gay men and women are kidnapped, tortured, imprisoned, and killed.

Feb 2017 -

I'm not saying that Ilya doesn't have other reasons for reacting this way, especially his self-loathing and fear of intimacy, but there are people like them being purged in his country while they are having this conversation. This context matters! His behavior is a reflection of the horrific shit that is unfolding in Russia!

We see this also in his behavior towards Sasha, his former lover, back in 2014. Sasha comments that Ilya used to be more adventurous; a casual viewer might read this strictly as Ilya being less interested in sex with anyone who isn't Shane, but recall that in scenes after this we see him hooking up with women casually. He specifically turns down sex with a man.

The last time Ilya and Sasha hooked up, apparently prior to 2010, Russia was a very different country. In 2014, when Sasha appears, the anti-"homosexual propaganda" law had just been passed six months ago. I believe that it's important to consider this context when viewing Ilya's character and his decisions, both with Shane and with Sasha.

Anyway, I've spent too long on this. Support queer Russians trying to change their country and support queer Russians trying to escape their country. Fuck anyone who supports Putin and his authoritarian, homophobic regime.

[stele3]

Also, Ilya’s dad is chief of Moscow’s police. His brother Alexei is a police officer.

Moscow Pride - Wikipedia

Chances are good they were arresting gay rights activists at every attempted Moscow Pride parade 2006-2011. (Pride events were banned in Moscow in 2012.)

[bonejar]

i could be succinct for once in my life & condense this, but my skull is filled with soup rn. first word vomit of this blog ig

tl;dr—skip are really interesting but only as a framing device for privilege & hollanov

like many people i rolled my eyes at heated rivalry, in my case bc of the books & where i know they originated, but was won over. what won me over was episode 3 of all things, tho

for the first 2 episodes of the show we watch shane and ilya struggle to communicate emotionally despite wanting to & substitute their deficiencies with sex. typical trope of erotic fiction. i enjoyed it, but what intrigued me (high quality & acting aside) was that shane is half-asian in one of the whitest hypermasculine contact sports in the world and subtextually autistic, and ilya is a russian esl immigrant with some obvious ptsd based neurodivergence. piled on to them both being queer closeted globally ranked child athletes entering a multi-million dollar sports industry, that's a fucking saw trap

racist exotification and caricatures in these genres are common, especially of russians/slavs & asians, and so is a decorative approach to mental health challenges/disorders. i was admittedly wary of the show's thematic follow through & skeptical it was even aware of the microcosm it held in its palm, except for shane's autism (a hudson williams interview abt shane convinced me to give it a chance). mostly bc ik the vibes of its source material & doubted such a thing would take any interest in a racial narrative, much less an intersectional one

but then episode 3 happened. and oh this was really really fucking interesting

not the contained queer popcorn romance, which is fine, and certainly not scott/kip as a ship (sorry to kip but his actor shares a striking resemblance to #my dad and enduring that was actual psychological torture). what hooked me by the lip was the themes of privilege it introduced

scott and kip communicate basically perfectly, and expeditiously. their circumstances drive them apart, but never each other. there's no mess. they have a romcom style meet cute and altogether bow-wrapped little u-haul romance. even in their difficult moments they support each other and acknowledge the other's needs or try to do so. it's the all american cherry pie wholesome wattpad/hallmark fantasy of closeted gay romances, well made and produced and good enough to stand on its own

but it's episode 3. not a vignette standalone. this is part of shane and ilya's story

on the surface it seems like skip is expanding the depictions of what closeted athletes can look like, while assuring the viewer that the writers know how to write healthy communication with compelling drama. that's probably its intention. but it's not what makes it interesting

scott and kip are both white, usamerican, (mostly) neurotypical men. one of whom is an established, respected hockey player (man in the crease notwithstanding) and closeted but self-determined gay man. the other is a normal out gay guy in his 20s/30s with a loving support system, pillared (crucially) by his dad. they both have a great deal of security around and within them, in spite of scott being so closeted

meanwhile shane is mixed race, a model minority asian/japanese icon in his very racist hypermasculine conformist national sport, undiagnosed autistic, and a closeted gay man (Very Confused flavor). he has obvious signs of undiagnosed ocd & given all of this, probably cptsd. he's sexually submissive to the point of deviance. he sits like his limbs are filled with lead and his japanese parent is his manager

all-american cherry pie scott and kip are a framing device to demonstrate how healthy communication itself can become a privilege. bc of their national, political, and personal circumstances, shane and ilya literally can't communicate the way scott and kip do. their relationship is messy and confusing and sexually deviant. it's difficult to explain, categorize, and defies most norms. its fabric itself is queer in a way skip's isn't

ilya is an eccentric & brash russian/slavic esl immigrant living alone in the us on a visa in a foreign league which punishes players for having a personality more interesting than strawberry milk and white knuckles the cold war profile of russians like a woobie. at home he's a russian national athlete with an abusive family in the police/military and a closeted bisexual man (Will Be Jailed/Disowned flavor). he has textbook flags of undiagnosed cptsd/ptsd. he's sexually dominant to the point of deviance and he's financially responsible for his terrible remaining parent who's dying of dementia on the other side of the world (+ his crackhead older brother)

this is why scott and kip are the perfect couple to break the coming out barrier. they're about as ideal & commercially shippable as it gets for a gay couple in a cultishly racist/etc industry like hockey. this is also why so many cishet viewers are so fond of them. it's a recreation of their in-universe narrative purpose—skip are there to win normie audiences over, so you don't stick your nose up at hollanov & the queer dysfunction they depict

they have the potential to be more compelling than a lifetime movie if these themes become foretextual. i want to see them use their privilege in allyship to shane & ilya. this is why they're in the story

that's the core thesis of this entire damn thing, anyway. i can only hope jacob tierney goes balls to the walls with it (and..........is Aware Of It)

[ahotknife]

the thing is that the hockey is the foreplay. the thing is that they know in advance when they’re going to see each other. they get more and more excited for it the closer it gets. they flirt (badly) via text message in the days/hours prior. the thing is that when you don’t see someone for weeks at a time, and you want them so badly, even knowing they’re in the same building as you can make you crazy. the thing is that one of them is going to win the game. the thing is that they’re going to tussle and they’re going to one-up each other and they’re going to sweat. ilya is gonna get rough and he’s gonna talk shit. shane is gonna get riled up and he’s gonna work hard. and one of them is going to win. either way, shane is getting fucked. but the context of it changes. if shane loses then he’s probably annoyed/mad, which ilya loves, and shane gets the catharsis of sex. if shane wins then that means ilya gets to take his power back at the end of the night by fucking the shit out of shane. i promise you that by the time they get to the locker room pre-game they are absolutely already worked up. they’re nothing short of ravenous when they finally get in a room alone together. they did the foreplay already. shane’s drooling for it already. sports is sex. flirting is sex. anticipation is sex. being annoyed/annoying is sex. i swear the hockey is part of the sex. and then sex is also sex, which honestly feels too on the nose in the grander context of their relationship. it’s all sex. all of it? the whole time.

[gcladriel]

ELSBETH'S 2K CELEBRATION ↳ 🩶 for @tabithatate

[sunderwight]

Mulan AU where she does get caught by the other fresh recruits while she's bathing but Mushu helps her spin it like the lake is cursed by an evil lizard demon and will turn men into women if they stay in it for too long.

From there it's not actually difficult to get the other soldiers onboard with covering up the fact that poor Ping took one for the team and got afflicted by the vagina curse, especially since it would have been all of them if they hadn't gotten the warning ahead of time. So they agree to help him cover it up, because obviously the army's not going to understand.

Shang is... tentatively glad that the men are bonding and getting along, even if they continue to be deeply weird about it.

[mxtxfanatic]

I think people’s biggest misunderstanding about the Blackwater arc is that they keep tryna make He Xuan into a parallel/foil for Xie Lian when He Xuan is quite obviously closest to Hua Cheng in terms of life goals and actions. And that’s why that horrible “He Xuan ruined his own life by not letting the people who killed his entire family go!” take exists: people think the moral of He Xuan’s arc is that he should have lived happily ever after playing house with the Shi brothers because Xie Lian “lived happily ever after” having made peace with the existence of Yong’an, despite the fact that Xie Lian’s actual enemy was Jun Wu. Literally at no point was Yong’an Xie Lian’s enemy—a point he actively acknowledges at MULTIPLE points in the story—it was always Jun Wu! And Xie Lian very famously does not let him off about that.

On the other hand, Hua Cheng comes out of Tonglu and immediately heads to the heavens to humiliate 35 heavenly officials in the exact same way they humiliated his beloved, a direct parallel to He Xuan’s vengeance, which was originally to have Shi Qingxuan switch fates with someone with terrible fortune for the fact that he only became a god for having stole He Xuan’s own fortune. Those 33 heavenly officials that died did so because they reneged on their agreement with Hua Cheng if they lost. Shi Wudu died because he tried to bypass He Xuan’s conditions by just killing Shi Qingxuan. Notice how Hua Cheng lets Mu Qing and Feng Xin go despite disdaining them just because they didn’t accept his challenge, just like He Xuan lets Shi Qingxuan go despite not switching his fortune.

People are so obsessed with their own “revenge is always wrong!” opinions that they’re willing to twist a very pro-revenge and vindication narrative into the exact opposite because they’re uncomfortable with the fact that the author doesn’t share their bitchmade morals.

[sleepy-salami]

jin ling: the ghost was unremarkable 😒

lan sizhui: the ghost was scary 😨

ouyang zizhen: the ghost was kinda cute 👉👈

wei wuxian: ...you, kid. YOU show promise.

[aglionbyacademia]

Gansey is actually so cunt if you think about it. His parents are conservative republicans. He’s in a homoerotic situationship with every single one of his friends and some old man from Europe. Died twice. Stole his ex situationship’s girl — ON SAID SITUATIONSHIP’S BIRTHDAY. Always on the phone, always busy and booked. Punched his Latin teacher, threw a Molotov cocktail at a substance party he wasn’t even invited to. Can fly a helicopter, isn’t very good at it. Drives a vintage car even though it’s shit, simply for aesthetics. Wears contacts instead of his nerdy glasses, because he’s vain. Writes in an old leather notebook instead of just using his laptop. Truly believes in magic. His roommate is a ghost. Captain of the rowing team. Everyone at his fancy private school knows his name, everyone thinks he’s cool but also very very weird. The absolute aura on this guy.

[firawren]

A parallel to the "only Darcy had to get over his pride and prejudice" falsehood is the "only Darcy was a socially awkward dumbass" falsehood.

This is "Elizabeth is a socially awkward dumbass" erasure and I will not stand for it.

Darcy is not naturally awkward, he's only a socially awkward dumbass when he is in love and struggling with it, which he unfortunately is for most of the book, poor guy. Elizabeth is in love and struggling with it for only a few chapters of the book, but she is also a socially awkward dumbass during these chapters.

When Darcy comes back to Longbourn near the end of the book (ch 53-54), Elizabeth doesn't know where to look, can't stand making eye contact, but also can't stand not looking at him, is confused when he speaks to her, wants to speak to him, but is also scared to speak to him, can't think of anything to say, can only say the most dull polite small talk things to him instead of showing any of her normal sparkling personality, stands there silently staring at him like a dope, gets mad at herself for not talking to him, gets mad at him for not talking to her, gets mad at everyone else who does talk to him, can't be polite to other people, decides she's never going to think about him again, keeps thinking about him anyway, screws up her card playing because she keeps staring at him, and so on. She's ridiculous.

Elizabeth does all of the things that everyone mocks Darcy for. She is just as much an idiot as he is, it's just that her idiocy doesn't stretch for an entire year like Darcy's does.

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

I just reread The Hunger Games for the first time since I was 12 in preparation for reading Sunrise on the Reaping. Here is everything I had totally forgotten about since I am now 25:

-that Peeta lost a fucking lEG to the mutts and has a fake leg for the rest of the series

-they had fucking night vision sunglasses in the arena

-Rue and Katniss were only allies for a day :(

-The mutts slowly eat Cato for the entire night because he was wearing invisible body armor, like that scene was horrific. It's bad in the movie, it's like 2000% worse in this book. The entire night, Peeta is bleeding out while Cato slowly gets chewed. He fights the mutts for an hour before he goes down, I can't even imagine.

-Thresh was chilling in a random field part of the arena we never see for the whole Games

-I finished the book and still don't know Foxface's name.

-Gale is not annoying in book 1, but he's so annoying in book 2. Like the entire first part of the book is Katniss worrying about shit, things getting way worse in District 12, and Gale being a little bitch. I don't know why I can't get past his utter inability to make space for her experience in the games.

-Kinda funny Peeta gets a debilitating leg wound twice in one Hunger Games

-I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT MADGE AND I'M OBSESSED WITH HER??? SHE GAVE THE PIN LIKE WHAT AN ICON.

-That the disabled boy from District Nine lives for so long.

-That Seneca Crane barely exists, all he does is get mentioned twice, fuck up IMMENSELY, and get murdered.

-That Katniss's prep team were just as if not more important in humanizing the capital citizens as Effie. God, that scene in octavia where they dress Katniss in her wedding dress for her interview. Cinna has talked to them because last time they were crying and making Katniss console them about her death. This scene when Octavia cries, Venia sends her out. Flavius makes it mostly through then starts crying and Venia finishes by herself silently, something that the prep team never is. Then she grabs Katniss' hands and tells Katniss it was an honor to make her look her best. I fully cried. They seem silly and foolish when we meet them before, but they see Katniss as a person who deserves better. As soon as they were corrected by Cinna, they immediately change their behavior and treat her as he asked. It's just such a human moment for them and for Katniss, who has always seen them as they see her, uneducated and strange.

-That Suzanne somehow convinced us frosting is the same as camoflage.

-That all the capital food sounds so good.

-I love the moment with Peeta being bad at hunting with Katniss because he's loud in the woods. I think it's just her most empathetic moment. It's like, the biggest contrast between him and Gale, right, he doesn't fit in her world, and she's annoyed with him. Instead of taking it personally he tells her to have him collect herbs and berries instead and even makes a joke about it. I think she even thinks like some guys would've taken it personally but not Peeta. It makes me think about how Gale would've taken it so personally. And then right after she thinks about how he went along with her and was making concessions for her and agrees to go back to the cave instead of sleeping in a tree like she wants. It's just so empathetic of her and she's like, a character who thinks she's so unempathetic. But her thoughts always are.

-How literally obvious it was all the victors were working to save Katniss and Peeta and Katniss was still like what's the ulterior motive here huh? Do we all just think Peeta is the best, because that makes sense. Just funny, like it's almost exactly the same as the first book where as the reader it's hard to see Peeta as anything but truly head over heels for Katniss, whereas she just thinks he might be trying to kill her.

-Mags is barely there and yet I remember her so well. Same with Wiress honestly.

-Didn't remember Finnick and Johanna being as good of friends as they were. When they called for each other on the beach, or checked in with each other- I am desperate to know their friendship backstory.

-Also desperate to know how Haymitch and Johanna's convo went when he told her she had to fetch Wiress and Beetee in order for Katniss to trust her, what a guy. What a conversation to be a fly on the wall for.

-Cashmere and Gloss, what is up guys, worst careers of all time there, that cornucopia attack was so bad. We're sneak attacking WIRESS??? Please.

-Even after Haymitch explains what happened during Beetee's plan, I still have no idea. Wire is cut. I assume the plan won't work. But Beetee actually only wanted to fry the forcefield. Why separate them all like that? So confused. ALSO WHERE DID PEETA GO AND HOW DID HE END UP THERE? Somewhere off fighting Brutus but not with Finnick, I am still baffled by this scene. Katniss sees Finnick and Enobaria come out of the jungle together at one point and I am endlessly fascinated by that, and by Enobaria as a character. Enobaria girl, what is up with you? Not in on the revolution but so ready for the capital kids to compete in games, please tell me more.

-They rewatch old games at one point: has no one noticed you can't watch game 10? I wonder about this all the time.

-Totally forgot about Chaff and Seeder and I miss them so much??? Seeder deserves the world okay. AND STOP KILLING HAYMITCH’s BEST FRIENDS. I wonder what changed, when Haymitch originally suggests Chaff and Seeder to Katniss as allies. But later he forces Finnick and Johanna on her, not them. Why? I assume they were in on the revolution?

- I forgot about the female morphing who dies for Peeta. Her death was so beautiful, and the way he sent her off really is what Katniss sees in him that she can’t see in herself: that deep down goodness. She sent Rue off that way first.

-Also still has me giggling kicking my feet that the entire rebellion plan hinged on keeping Peeta alive because Haymitch said Katniss wouldn’t work with anyone if he died. All these adults trying to stage a revolution and Haymitch slams his hands on the war table to be like "You gotta save her boyfriend or the revolution is over."

-ALSO giggling kicking my feet over Katniss suspiciously trying to figure out why everyone is keeping Peeta alive and she’s pretty sure it’s because they all see how good he is, like no girl you’re down bad.

-Then Haymitch is tragically proven right by Katniss’ attitude when she gets to 13. She said she needs him, then is instantly proven right lol it's not funny.

-(this is dark but how hard do we think Gale tried to get ANY merchants out of 12, because I think it wasn’t hard AT ALL).

-Barely any of Catching Fire takes place in the arena at all. I kept updating my mom, showing her where I was in the book and telling her I still wasn't at the arena yet.

-Gale drove me inSANE in Mockingjay. He was being normal, helpful even and then he would make some absurd comment to Katniss about her feelings for him. Dude. You are talking to the walking embodiment of PTSD, she's tOO BUSY FOR YOU. This clearly is not the time. And it would be so condescending, like "I wouldn't stand a chance if this happened" like telling her about her feelings and how she'd react oh it made me mad.

-Also, again, obsessed with Katniss's prep team. Oh my god I love what they represent. Gale arguing with Katniss over how she can defend them?? Infuriating. Like, you weren't there dude what do you know? He was just so condescending. Also Ocatvia being so young really hurt me. Posy telling her she'd be beautiful any color she was and Gale acting like they were normal to help Katniss, ugh, top five Gale moments, more of the prep team.

-Squad 451, especially Pollux and Castor, I love you and miss you. Icons I forgot about all of them literally. Castor's story of how it took five years for their family to buy Pollux's way out of the sewers??? How many more people are like that in the capitol? What did Pollux do to become an avox? I want to know more.

-I especially forgot and missed Messalla. There were so many more capitol rebels who were working on the front lines than I think I remember, and they highlighted that silly comment Messalla made about the apartment value right before all the skin was melted off of him like a human candle. Horrifying. I really like that they made it clear everyone suffers under a regime like that, even if it's different, and solidarity is important.

-Something about the way Haymitch and Katniss talk to each other just gets me. Them both accusing each other for being the reason they lost Peeta and then forgiving each other? Also the way he like, in the background staunchly defends and works to help Peeta recover while Katniss is like wandering around or in district 2? Obsessed. They are like the same person so they are simultaneously able to hold each other to a higher standard than they hold themselves, but also able to forgive each other more than they can forgive themselves. You get what I'm saying???

-Johanna and Katniss roommates training montage when? Forgot all about it, I don't even remember liking Johanna that much the first time. But the way she so matter of factly cuts to the root of the problem every time; telling Katniss about her and Peeta's time being tortured when Katniss asks, answering Peeta's questions about why Gale wouldn't have believed he'd be like that if he hadn't seen it himself: that he's the evil mutt version, not Katniss. I was like oh, the value of that honestly for Katniss who cannot read into anything to save her life, and for Peeta who can't tell what's real, is monumental.

-Also Gale made that comment about feeling the same type of anger that Peeta was when Katniss was in the first Hunger Games; wild. Like, that comment took me so aback I had to read it multiple times. Like, he couldn't really be telling her he was feeling homicidal rage at watching her kiss another boy in the TELEVISED MURDER GAMES. When I catch that man. He's a great character and he's realistic and honest, but god he just says all the wrong things all the time.

-Darius the Peacekeeper. Talk about a guy that haunts the narrative, I feel like this guy was in the back more than Katniss' dad. Peeta's description of his death will stick with me forever now, I had forgotten it!! Thanks!!!

This is getting too long and I have so many thoughts but: rereading childhood books that hold up is a WILD ride. Recommend me your everlark fanfictions, or even hayffie. I'm in a THG vibe now.