I'm so fucking tired

hey the name's Fae and I never know if everyone hates me or not

[auckie]

When I was little I wanted to be Italian REALLT badly bc I loved the movie cars and specifically had a crush on this fucking THING

Which doesn’t speak English at all, all it’s line are in Italian and it’s name is GUIDO. And everyone knew I was obsessed with Italy in elementary school but they didn’t know why bc I, even as a young autistic child, had the sense to know this was a rightfully so, highly mockable thing. So I would read about cars on IMDB and then one day someone posted a crackfic on the message boards there and it was about this guy getting drunk and beating his wife, and it snapped me out of my fugue long enough to realize how absurd wanting to be Italian was, but then it made me cry really hard and my parents were like ‘hey what the fuck’ and I didn’t have the chutzpah to admit anything so I told them I saw a naked lady online and then they went into the computer and found all the weird south park midi songs I downloaded on lime wire and I thought they were literally going to kill me for about two weeks.

[auckie]

The reason I was downloading South Park episodes and songs on limewire and frostwire was because I was also obsessed with Kenny McCormick and for school we had to make a shitty little website about a world issue, so I found this free platform that doesn’t exist anymore but it was like a horrible little wix site from the mid aughts, and we based my groups theme on global warming. But when we were done with it I repurposed it as a perosnal site and lied about being a voluptuous blonde 19 year old woman who worked at a fictitious restaurant called the lunchbox, and I just wrote about how obsessed I was with Kenny McCormick and my sister found it and was like what the fuck is wrong with you. But she never told my parents. She also found this 80 page story I was writing about buddy the elf and all my weird skater ocs breaking into the moulin rouge, and at one point I was sick of buddy so I had a herd of buffalo trample him in the middle of a city and it was very tragic but jarring and unexpected. And she referenced a part of the story to me and it made me SO fucking paranoid that I wiped our entire, family shared packard bell computer and got in huge fucking trouble for it.

[obfuscatingintelligence]

if you set off a rube goldberg type death trap to kill someone, if it's a long enough machine, it ceases to become your fault if somebody dies at the end. that's how I've gotten away with it all these years, and why I'm still going to heaven.

[viviantimmet]

(via @yellowocaballero)

[pangur-and-grim]

HE MAKES ME SO MAD!!!

[natnormalatall]

roald dahl was antisemitic. george orwell was openly homophobic. edgar allan poe married his 13 year old cousin. dr seuss cheated on his wife. hp lovecraft was racist as fuck. anyways they’re fucking dead it’s not like you’re enabling their behaviors in the afterlife or something. then again I think orwell’s homophobia bleeds into one of his books so uh keep an eye out for that

the difference between these old white guys and jk rowling is that the former group is all dead. jk rowling is alive and using your money to oppress trans people

[strange-fairy]

roald dahl was also racist. seuss was ALSO also racist. and these people are dead and we aren’t supporting them by consuming their work but their CHILDRENS BOOKS reflect this. so consume consciously and don’t give racist books to kids and not read it critically with them (and if you don’t it better be bc you know they’ll be able to do it on their own)

[retroscifiart]

David Cronenberg and William S Burroughs on the set of The Naked Lunch (1991)

[kryptonians]

Tumblr’s one true talent is making me sick of things I’ve never seen or read or heard.

[nvpengyou]

“are u okay?” no i need more money

[contemptible-scoundrel]

I was mugged by snow white and the seven dwarves the other day. six dwarves now, I suppose. kneed dipshit or dopey or whatever he was called in the eye socket so hard he died before his limp body hit the ground. they all scattered after that. I'll never forget how they wailed his name

[jelloapocalypse]

Someone asked me a while ago if I still had a photo of the worst sink I had ever seen while apartment hunting in Los Angeles. I assumed I deleted it so I didn't answer the ask and now it's gone, but as it turns out, yes, I do still have a photo of it.

[lumsel]

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

[unusual-pybro]

[m1dori-eyes]

Nobody has ever been capable of writing a scathingly harsh and well formulated satire about the perils of modern capitalism, that doesn't just get immediately one-upped by some random food service worker talking about their actual week.

[lakevida]

im so fortunate to be able to structure my life in such a way that i can operate mostly unacknowledged and thus ungendered at work and have very few prolonged conversations with heterosexual men on a regular basis but jesus fucking christ its so bad when it happens. every white veteran who has gone on vacation to southeast asia needs to be pilloried and i mean that from the bottom of my heart show this post in court when i get doxxed fuck the troops. ladies and gentleworms of the jury turn to me you will see that i am nodding. should someone so steadfast in their convictions be punished i think not. thank you

[dailycatsblog]

[tinyuglyworld]

Björk in the USSR, 1989

[lakevida]

"magic isnt real" ok lol so explain how that djinn from chicago and some unnamed second party were able to close the sandstorm portal in time

[lakevida]

...?

[schizomutual]

oh those are my tags! im kinda getting beaten up by something rn but hes one of my ghost boyfriends, oceans of time is my tag for our relationship. it comes from the bram stoker's dracula quote "i have crossed oceans of time to find you". hes 103 years older. sorry for any confusion

[lakevida]

ohh okay

[chibird]

Your best is enough. Fluffy cat is here to remind you in case you forgot. 🌸It is so hard to believe, but I promise you that it’s true.

Thank you to everyone who stopped by to watch me stream while I drew this comic yesterday! 🥹

Chibird store | Patreon | Instagram

[catasters]

[retquits]

this is miss jpeg.

she is NOT brave. she will NOT show up to the function. she is bad at both COMMUNICATING AND EXISTING ! if you walk a little too close to her she will CRY and SKITTER AWAY like a BUGE . ☝️