Fat Jonah Hill @fatjonahhill - Tumblr Blog

Hipster safety

If you ever encounter a hipster in the wild, be sure to raise your arms above your head to make yourself look as large as possible, and let out a strong roar to let them know you are a threat. If they don't back down leave a Pabst Blue Ribbon on the ground and back away slowly.

#hipster #safety #comedy #funny #fatjonahhill

I drink a gallon of milk every day to ensure I shit my pants as often as possible

If I don't eat at least 5 pieces of fried chicken everyday, I'm afraid I won't fulfill my life goal of dying at age 17

#fried chicken

Oh no! Oh no! The poop has got to go!

#funny #comedy #fatjonahhill

It's been like five years and I haven't got any funnier.

Do you ever think you're the shittiest, most pathetic human creature on the planet?

#me too #i suck #sorry

Halloween is coming up :)

So I can brandish bloody weapons and people don't call the cops.

#just what i need

As a woman without a menstrual cycle

The thing I like best is that I can say without a doubt that every drop of blood came from my victims.

#it's very reassuring

theguilteaparty

reindeerplaydate:

forfuturereferenceonly:

kowka:

haraii:

christmas eve what about christmas adam

happy christmas adam to all men’s rights activists

Please stop pestering us with things like this. This has nothing to do with men fighting for their rights. Eve is short for ‘evening’. Please don’t turn activism into a joke. Thanks.

Someone isn’t having a good christmas adam

Christmas Adam: December 23rd. Comes before Christmas Eve and is generally unsatisfying.

My name is Nick Offerman, and this is my actual face.

Things People Should Have Said

#nick offerman #fatjonahhill #humour #comedy #funny