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They/she/fae Twilight Sparkle irl

[fayvrithedragon]

Salvete and Salut!!!

I go by the names Caeleigh or Cae. Nothing else for the time being.

Only on Tumblr and Characterhub, under the same name.

This is mostly rambles from my life irl!!! I love asks, please give me some I beg.

I have severe,crippling anxiety. This affects my life in all ways including online. If I seem distant it is because my mind is too preoccupied processing the racing in my head.

I also copy people unintentionally. I would say I'm an introject, but I am not plural. In fact, seeing others struggles makes my own worse. This is mine to deal with however, and don't feel the need to censor yourself because of this.

I'm a lover of knowledge. I also tend to message/post with academic words and grammar; ect. I don't expect others to act like this!

I go by they/she/fae pronouns, and am Genderfae and biromantic aroflux + asexual ( sapioromantic+alterous attraction) Proud sapiophile ^^

I am cladohearted with deer and foxes. I'm also other hearted with griffins, otters, blue morpho butterflies, rosy maple moths, barn owls, and dragons. I'm fictionhearted with the character Percy Jackson; and am an irl fictionkin of Twilight Sparkle from mlpfim ( this doesn't completely describe my identity, but I would consider myself to be her in real life, although I don't Identify as the character despite being her. ) Not sure about a term for that, if anyone can help it'd be appreciated!

Thats all for now. Have a lovely day/night!

[fayvrithedragon]

You guys should send me asks/nf

[fayvrithedragon]

Track and field abusing my body eating less food exercising scraping my legs winning meets getting praise sprained ankles knees and legs on hard concrete

[fayvrithedragon]

The smell of tide, ur mom jokes and wait for me from Hadestown is my sexuality btw if anyone was curious.

[fayvrithedragon]

What do you MEAN I'm not supposed to be sleeping in 58 minute stretches???? I've been doing so since I was an infant, why does everything have to change????

[fayvrithedragon]

I look at people saying " I miss not having ( xyz mental or physical problem when I was younger.) GANG. ARE WE SERIOUS??? I've had severe anxiety that crippled be since age 5, I've had depression since age 10, and I've been living with chronic acute pain for my entire memorable life! Did yall hit the jackpot or am I just like... Super unlucky?

[fayvrithedragon]

I have such an unhealthy attachment to this man but I'm avoidant so now that he expresses any kid of interest I want to bounce 😭

[fayvrithedragon]

So I've always said, that out of the trauma responses, I'm most likely to freeze.

This is uh... False. I do everything to fight back. I freeze to feel like a better person than my attacker. I fight back with my words. I fawn to faint knowledge leading to their downfall. I fly to navigate the situation so I can get revenge.

[fayvrithedragon]

Holy crap I hate not being able to regulate my emotions.

Im alexithymic, meaning I have difficulty expressing/perceiving my emotions so they are largely psychosomatic. When I do feel these emotions, they're uncomfortable and loud and take up to much space in my head.

My friend likes the guy I have a limerence for. Usually, that'd be fine. I'd give up whatever emotions I had and unattach myself to him. But I cant. I'm addicted to this man. So I get frustrated. And angry at my friend because she wants to be with him and all my emotions are screaming is " he's mine, I worked for him " I hate it.

[fayvrithedragon]

Hmmm.... I may be developing a limerence... I don't like that

[fayvrithedragon]

To everyone that's ever wanted a fast metabolism, respectfully shut your oral oreaphus and stop vibrating your vocal chords.

Its not easy. Its not fun. My stomach's capacity is so incredibly small, yet I need about 2x the normal amount of calories it can hold just for body weight maintenance. I'm constantly fatigued from hunger, I can't sleep because of hunger, I live my days in hunger.

I need to eat so much food and I simply cant. Ill eat until my stomach is stuffed and be hungry an hour or less later. "Drink water" that doesn't help! My body simply needs more calories than I can keep up with! I'm not even particularly skinny but I'm not gaining weight! ( for refrence, im 5'7'', about 145 pounds and my muscle mass is about 65 pounds) I burn calories from sitting down, sleeping, even typing this I'm starting yo get hungry again. Exercise is the bane of my existence. I love it, but it burns so many calories I simply can't replenish.

[fayvrithedragon]

Nah because I think he likes me alterously too but can't articulate it.

[fayvrithedragon]

SHOUT OUT TO EVERY AROACE PERSON WHO HAS EVER FELT INCREDIBLY OUT OF PLACE BECAUSE THEY HAVE HAD A SQUISH DUE TO ALTEROUS ATTRACTION.

Rant over :)

[fayvrithedragon]

Ive been seeing ed topics come up in my Tumblr feed.

Here is your daily reminder that if you would not treat an animal how you treat yourself... Its not healthy

Its not safe.

Would you restrict a dogs food intake to barely one cheese stick?

Would you make a cat run around until it collapsed?

I'd hope not. Recovery is possible friends

[fayvrithedragon]

Not being able to eat is lame :(

Anxiety not letting me be hungry? Crime

Depression removing my will to eat? Even worse

I miss being hungry all the time, now I can't eat at all.

[fayvrithedragon]

Me low key ignoring that I'm on the way to disordered eating

[fayvrithedragon]

This is your daily reminder that your body needs a MINIMUM of 1100 calories PER DAY. That's bare minimum survival! And you can only survive for about 12 weeks only eating that much! Even worse, you're likely not to lose much weight, as your body will be storing every ounce of fat that is consumed and instead start breaking down your muscles!