Birb Dick 101

A mobile based blog,consisting of shit-posts, And the Adventures of a Gay Bird Man + Company! Just send in prompts, or IM me! I have a fuck ton of characters, so please ask about them! Icon by @zombiecatsbox

[anarchomikeism]

[ancaporado]

[wageronvoluntaryism]

Never forget what they took from us.

[wageronvoluntaryism]

For those asking how it compares today

[cheese-sample-official]

and also

[venuslovelace-deactivated201807]

To any upcoming freshmen: don’t date seniors

[venuslovelace-deactivated201807]

I think this is important to reblog; protect freshmen from creepy seniors. No matter how much you think they like you, they’re manipulating you. Don’t date seniors if you’re only a freshmen. Especially protect freshmen girls. Be careful

[butneverstoptrying]

When I was about to start high school, my mom told me that senior boys were grown men, and if any were interested in me then I should ask myself why they, as adults, were interested in a kid right out of middle school. And why they couldn’t get someone their own age. Be safe, kiddos. A year counts a lot more when you’re younger, and the kind of senior who wants to date a freshman is well aware of this.

[infamouslydorky]

I still have ace attorney comic ideas

[batfamfucker]

We don’t appreciate the fact that Bruce Wayne is a Kardasian level celebrity enough. Everyone knows him. I want more one shots and crack fic moments where the League (Pre identity reveals) just openly talk about Bruce Wayne in front of Batman.

Just imagine them playing fuck, marry, kill with famous actors and such and throwing Bruce into the mix. And Batman just sits there, silently suffering as he listens to the reasons why Flash and Lantern would marry, fuck, or kill him. He prays they choose kill. They don’t.

[batfamfucker]

Barry: Eat the rich!

Bruce: Oh thank Go-

Clark: Oh, I intend to 🥴🥵

[batfamfucker]

[whispering-imp]

It’s Batman’s turn. Bruce needs to decide whether to marry himself for the money or throw himself off the cliff.

[primeemeraldheiress]

Okay but can you imagine what kind of identity reveal situation that would be?

“I would fuck —-, I would marry —-, and then I would commit suicide.”

“Batman, that’s not how the game is played. You have to choose for Bruce Wayne.”

“I did.”

“…WHAT?!”

[lynati]

“I would kill Bruce Wayne just to get him out of this conversation.”

[aqueerkettleofish]

This works best if the reveal comes after literally everyone else has played, and half of the people have said “I’d marry Bruce Wayne for the money” and the other half have not only said that they’d fuck him, but been reasonably graphic as to how.

[althor42]

Flash: So, tall, dark, and scary, what’ll it be? Are you going to marry Bruce Wayne so he can fund all of your sick gadgets? Maybe you’ll be a gentle lover to him like Aquaman here, work him over like a hunk of meat like Supes? Or maybe Brucie is the one person in the world you break your code for. Come on, what’ve you got for us?

Batman: -pauses- Honestly, I don’t think there will ever be a better time for this. -pulls off his cowl-

Justice League: -horrified screeching-

[cadaverkeys]

dnd is a game

[caligenathings]

[naughtyandnicerpmemes]

Reblog if you RP on Discord and it's okay for people to PM you for a plot.

[spiralstaircased]

thinking about how pewdeepie was considered lame and cringy until he became a nazi icon and now people pretend his content is good

[spiralstaircased]

I understand that the way I’ve worded this post has upset some people and I’d like to address that

I’m sorry, that you were offended by my post. I’m very sorry that you were upset by my post about peediepie being unfunny and popular with nazis. It’s really a shame that you were #triggered by my words.

But it’s just a joke so I don’t really see the issue. It’s just satire, it doesn’t actually hurt pewds to cal him a nazi! It’s a joke! Can’t you take a joke? Sorry that calling a guy who thinks antisemitism is funny a nazi is too politically incorrect for you! Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and mine is that pewdiepie sucks shit. Please respect that

[asexual-territory]

[Image Description: Three hands shaking. One is labeled ‘Aces’, one is labeled ‘Non-binary folk’, and one is labeled ‘Bisexuals’. The handshake is labeled ‘purple’.]

[ryunoohi]

Can we stop claiming colors, shapes, & other general abstractions for some niche group? This is exhausting, & I’m sick of it. You ruined rainbows for everyone else, just stop.

[betsybugaboo]

REBLOG if you LIKE RUINING RAINBOWS FOR STRAIGHTS, SUPPORT CLAIMING COLORS FOR LGBTQIA+ PEOPLE, or WANT A SLICE OF PIZZA

[toreen-m]

Straight people: *assign the colors blue and pink/red to boys and girls* also straight people: STOP ASSIGNING COLORS TO GROUPS AND PEOPLE YOU STOLE OUR RAINBOW

[tryppyn-princxly-deactivated202]

Oh dear

Hey guys. EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE who reblogs this post BY MAY 5TH 2019 will be getting a small monster design based on your blog theme, name, or profile picture. Let’s go.

[lizardbumblebee]

I would like that

[monstersandmaw]

I mean… is this possible? Heck, I’m up for it!!

[locusimperium]

[swan-archive]

locusimperium:

A few years ago, when I was living in the housing co-op and looking for a quick cookie recipe, I came across a blog post for something called “Norwegian Christmas butter squares.” I’d never found anything like it before: it created rich, buttery and chewy cookies, like a vastly superior version of the holiday sugar cookies I’d eaten growing up. About a year ago I went looking for the recipe again, and failed to find it. The blog had been taken down, and it sent me into momentary panic. 

Luckily, I remembered enough to find it on the Wayback Machine, and quickly copied it into a file that I’ve saved ever since. I probably make these cookies about once a month, and they last about five days around my voracious husband - they’re fantastic with a cup of bitter coffee or tea. I’m skeptical that there is something distinctively Norwegian about these cookies, but they do seem like the perfect thing to eat on a cold day. 

Norwegian Christmas Butter Squares

1 cup unsalted butter, softened

1 egg 1 cup sugar 2 cups flour 1 tsp vanilla ½ tsp salt Turbinado/ Raw Sugar for dusting

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Chill a 9x13″ baking pan in the freezer. Do not grease the pan.

Using a mixer, blend the butter, egg, sugar, and salt together until it is creamy.  Add the flour and vanilla and mix using your hands until the mixture holds together in large clumps. If it seems overly soft, add a little extra flour. 

Using your hands, press the dough out onto the chilled and ungreased baking sheet until it is even and ¼ inch thick.  Dust the top of the cookies evenly with raw sugar.

Bake at 400 degrees until the edges turn a golden brown, about 12-15 minutes. Remove from the oven. Let cool for about five minutes before cutting the cooked dough into squares. Remove the squares from the warm pan using a spatula.

[brawltogethernow]

So I tried this recipe.

And it is GREAT.

It basically makes the platonic ideal of commercial sugar cookies, only in bar form. When I give them to people (which I do a lot, because this is one of those simple recipes where the results seem very impressive), I just tell them they’re sugar cookie bars.

[davetheshady]

Life hack: add white chocolate chips and sea salt

[mxxnlit-witch]

I made these today for the equinox with sea salt caramel chips and they are simply amazing. Let’s see how long they last with six people in the house!

[filibusterfrog]

25k follower giveaway!!

to celebrate 25k followers, I thought i’d do a little something

3 reference sheets are up for grabs!! Rules are as follows:

You must be following me (new followers welcome!!)

Reblogs only

Multiple reblogs count as multiple entries (but please dont spam your followers!)

No giveaway blogs

winners will be contacted on the 23rd of march :>

[brucebannerramma]

If you are a ship whore and you know it click reblog.

[idkhowtocallthisblogdammit]

ROTG FANS, MR JOYCE NEEDS OUR HELP!!!

He’s just posted this on IG, read carefully:

DREAMWORKS IS ACTIVELY CONSIDERING DOING A TELEVISION SERIES OF THE GUARDIANS.

It’s happening!!! We have to support him and the Guardians, let’s do our best!!!

#ibelieveintheguardians ❤️

[blizzard-of-69]

[honestly-giant-inactive]

Down Feathers

Closed starter for @feathered-detective ~ homeless!viktor

The winter was a pain, but Viktor had always managed. Hanging out against a dumpster allowed him to people watch. It was nice to sit back and see the world work. In fact, Viktor saw a lot of things

[honestly-giant-inactive]

“Oh….” He sounded drained, too spent after such an eventful day to handle this kind of humor now

[feathered-detective]

She opened a door ahead of her, revealing a line of coats, and the living room beyond. “Tada!”

[honestly-giant-inactive]

“… Oh that’s actually quite clever” he ducked under and into the room, grateful to be out of that death pit

[feathered-detective]

"Well, theres the couch against the wall, the remotes under the center seat. If you want to, explore, go ahead. I'm going to my room to pack."

[honestly-giant-inactive]

Down Feathers

Closed starter for @feathered-detective ~ homeless!viktor

The winter was a pain, but Viktor had always managed. Hanging out against a dumpster allowed him to people watch. It was nice to sit back and see the world work. In fact, Viktor saw a lot of things

[honestly-giant-inactive]

“Oh….” He sounded drained, too spent after such an eventful day to handle this kind of humor now

[feathered-detective]

She opened a door ahead of her, revealing a line of coats, and the living room beyond. "Tada!"

[honestly-giant-inactive]

Down Feathers

Closed starter for @feathered-detective ~ homeless!viktor

The winter was a pain, but Viktor had always managed. Hanging out against a dumpster allowed him to people watch. It was nice to sit back and see the world work. In fact, Viktor saw a lot of things

[honestly-giant-inactive]

Viktor flushed “No, I can do it!” He sounded like an indigent child

[feathered-detective]

“Then go for it. Just know that if you get hit in the face with a rigged bat, I’m laughing before I help you.”

[honestly-giant-inactive]

“Not helping….” Viktor very carefully made his way up the stairs, terrified of every step

[feathered-detective]

“Your getting it! Just a little further! Your out of the lethal stuff now!”

[honestly-giant-inactive]

“Not helping!!” Wanting it to be over, he hurried up the last steps, arriving at the top with wheezing breaths and in one piece.

“I’m never going back down there again….”

[feathered-detective]

“If you say so. Now, lets see of you survive the living room.”

[honestly-giant-inactive]

He whipped around, looking at her with wide eyes and a whimper

[feathered-detective]

"Jeeze man, learn a joke! Im kidding. The living rooms the safest place for an amateur."

[honestly-giant-inactive]

Down Feathers

Closed starter for @feathered-detective ~ homeless!viktor

The winter was a pain, but Viktor had always managed. Hanging out against a dumpster allowed him to people watch. It was nice to sit back and see the world work. In fact, Viktor saw a lot of things

[honestly-giant-inactive]

Viktor flushed “No, I can do it!” He sounded like an indigent child

[feathered-detective]

“Then go for it. Just know that if you get hit in the face with a rigged bat, I’m laughing before I help you.”

[honestly-giant-inactive]

“Not helping….” Viktor very carefully made his way up the stairs, terrified of every step

[feathered-detective]

“Your getting it! Just a little further! Your out of the lethal stuff now!”

[honestly-giant-inactive]

“Not helping!!” Wanting it to be over, he hurried up the last steps, arriving at the top with wheezing breaths and in one piece.

“I’m never going back down there again….”

[feathered-detective]

"If you say so. Now, lets see of you survive the living room."