[utter nonsense] @feckless-neophytes - Tumblr Blog

sickjacket

new season of survivor my wife keeps bein like “Why are you rooting for Mary so hard” and I’m like “It’s complicated.”

larkstonguesinaspicpart1

coughloop

Wait how the hell does she have two different bangs at once

larkstonguesinaspicpart1

You cannot comprehend the powers of an italian woman from new jersey

retrolizard

i’m sorry i still think this is one of the funniest lines written for anything ever

shinolavolume1-deactivated20240

when i was a kid and i heard the word boysenberry i thought they were saying poisonberry and i was like WHY on earth would you make a pie out of poisonberries

hsuhaohsuhaohsuhao

When i was young every day was to struggle and my body malform from wicked experiments and no enough meals

shinolavolume1-deactivated20240

im really sorry to hear that Hsu im here for you if you ever need me

hsuhaohsuhaohsuhao

I need you now

amvs

same this shit rocks

primebib

I plugged 3 consoles into one A/V port for maximum gaming.

quaadude

Battle for dominance in the game dome

thatoneguy031

Y'all can’t just leave these gems in the tags, dudes

imitationgod

ahhhh so the guilt is NOT supposed to be neverending and haunting and constant and persisting beyond a doubt over even the most menial of things that i would not be upset at someone else for. i understand now.

imitationgod

i think i hauve ocd.

miiilowo

I think one of the worst things for a cat to be is mysteriously wet.

miiilowo

could be they got a little too enthusiastic about the water bowl. could be they got in the sink somehow. could be from grooming. could be just so so much piss. they could be empissened and I don't like that is the thing and the problem and the issue as well

beaft

allow me to tell you of the grave error i made yesterday. it was 8pm. i was cooking moroccan stew. needed to let it simmer for 25 minutes before i added the chickpeas. i shall go upstairs, thought i, and take a shower, and leave the chickpeas on the counter to drain. puddles the cat is sleeping near the stove. i briefly consider locking her out of the kitchen - but surely even she, leviathan of unconquerable appetites, will not concern herself with hard, drained, uncooked chickpeas. surely not.

with this set-up in mind, what do you imagine i found when i came back downstairs?

beaft

i'll not keep you in suspense.

the moral of this story is never own cats

beaft

everything

lilxanniee-deactivated20230222

I was offered sex today by a 26 year old man. in exchange of that I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner on my tumblr. of course i declined because of my morals and strong will power. which is just as strong as ajox. the super strong bathroom cleaner. now avaliable scented with lemon or vanilla.

detectivehole

this is what i sent

this is what i got

anioryans

leopardmask-ao3

ohhh yeah that tracks

twilightisgaynow

new high school classmate: so what’s your name

renesmee: renesmee

new classmate: that’s… interesting

renesmee: my mom was on crack when she named me

bella, sitting literally two seats away:

sangotori

I’m so concerned that this post implies Bella and Edward will attend high school again with their own daughter

twilightisgaynow

youre goddamn right thats what im implying

tinydragontori

anyone ever: It’s getting hot in here.

my brain: ……so take off all your clothes ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

me: wtf why??? still? what year is it??????

somewhatstacey

Ahhhh, nothing quite like introducing an American to the Northern Territory’s “C U in the N T” tourism marketing campaign and watching their face engage in a slapdash performance of every emotion known to man in the span of about three seconds

This is a sample for those not familiar:

traditional-latin-math

pancakeke

The US has something similar for Salt Lake City, Utah.

much-butter

A personal favorite of mine is this mug from the university of north Texas

taxbywaxworth

HOLD ON I HAVE THE BEST ONE, from the time when I used to teach high school, they had a “foreign aid and service” club, who sold these rubber bracelets, and they couldn’t understand why they were selling so well.