I Create Myself

★ Tori ★ Boston Metro ★ She/Her ★ Fandom Elder, est. 1980s

[redactedmatopoeia-deactivated20]

[flagellant]

#'i love conflict' is the most agent thing to have ever been said by an agent

[tumblerculosis]

I’ve been obsessed with this tiktok for days now

[coffeedcait]

Person: "Hello sir." he pets the frog with one finger.

Person: "Have a good day. Actually wait a minute. You missed a bug, but I got you home boy. Hold on." he picks a bug up and throws it next to the frog.

Frog: turns around and eats the bug.

Person: "OHHHHH-" sings high pitched and angelic like he witnessed a miracle.

[pangur-and-grim]

my house is scary at night

[storyweavingspider]

Interpreted this initially not as shelves, but as your cat having erected defensive fortifications

[papayajuan2019]

cuz everytime we touch i get this feeling

[identifying-cars-in-posts]

2013-2016 Hyundai Genesis Coupe

[teobug]

and every time we kiss I swear I could fly

[shubbabang]

its not funny but i do think about it a lot

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

This made me think about this panel from Calvin and Hobbes:

But unlike the adult in this strip, Calvin’s dad actually APOLOGIZED for yelling at him when he saw how guilty his kid was:

[stargoyle]

"This person has a secret onlyfans!" "This artist does NSFW commissions!" "This author writes porn on the side!" I cannot begin to tell you how swag and awesome that is.

[sandmandaddy69]

[harzilla]

Reblog to cast healing for your homies.

[plangentia]

obsessed with this anonymous poem that i found at the end of an academic paper

[kallistoi]

[image text: It seems appropriate to conclude these speculations with the work of an anonymous poet writing in 1747, entitled "The Poetess' Bouts-Rimés":

Dear Phoebus, hear my only vow; If e'er you loved me, hear me now. That charming youth -- but idle fame Is ever so inclined to blame -- These men will turn it to a jest; I'll tell the rhymes and drop the rest: [blank] [blank] [blank] desire, [blank] [blank] [blank] fire, [blank] [blank] [blank] lie, [blank] [blank] [blank] thigh, [blank] [blank] [blank] wide, [blank] [blank] [blank] ride, [blank] [blank] [blank] night, [blank] [blank] [blank] delight.]

[sunderwight]

Mulan AU where she does get caught by the other fresh recruits while she's bathing but Mushu helps her spin it like the lake is cursed by an evil lizard demon and will turn men into women if they stay in it for too long.

From there it's not actually difficult to get the other soldiers onboard with covering up the fact that poor Ping took one for the team and got afflicted by the vagina curse, especially since it would have been all of them if they hadn't gotten the warning ahead of time. So they agree to help him cover it up, because obviously the army's not going to understand.

Shang is... tentatively glad that the men are bonding and getting along, even if they continue to be deeply weird about it.

[great-art-and-a-purple-tongue]

Ling: Hey man, what's up— you've got boobs?!?!

Mulan: Uh, what boobs? Huh? Where did these come from?

Mushu: *facepalms and thinks quickly* (speaks from the shadows) I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE LAKE! BEWARE MY CURSED WATERS FOR THEY WILL TURN MEN INTO WOMEN!

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: Oh no! The spirit of the cursed waters!

[metazanni]

I love tumblr's dedication to solving problems in the funniest way possible.

[taraljc]

bonus points for the Ranma 1/2 crossover

[kaiasky]

its terrible for any number of reasons, but i think if we invent immortality there should be an extreme sport called civilizational speedrunning where teams of 20 go into the wilderness somewhere and try and be the fastest build the first internal combustion engine. i bet you could get it down to like 3 years tops

[biggestzam]

The real trick is to eat seed heavy food before the speedrun starts so your first poops are halfway to agriculture already

[kaiasky]

i want you on my team holy shit

[yume-fanfare]

i think it's really fun when a rly specific trope is super popular in one particular medium but in other ones it's just totally unheard of. it's the time knife. visual novel players are suuuuper used to death games but many others encountered them for the first time in squid games. the other day my mom showed me all excited the summary of a super original novel she found and it was about a girl who got reincarnated as the main character in her favorite fantasy book

[paperjoshi]

what the fuck is a time knife

[bramblepatch]

[strawberrylovely]

[undeadentropy]

Time knife is a form of time knife

[killjoys-make-s0me-nois3]

[spacebrick3]

couples outfit idea

[sexygrammaticalerrors]

[pmamtraveller]

Natalya Mosyagina

[brainscrewz]

tbh if someone just handed me a pressure washer and set me loose in the streets i would go into a trance and just start hosing shit down indiscriminately. it's not a question of how much i could clean, but how long until i get hit by a car and die

[good-fwiend-in-wome]

i think it's worth remembering this xkcd from 2013 that's still equally true