Among the smartest and longest lived animals we can ever hope to interact with and it was willing to learn this stupid trick to amuse its human friend.
Thank you patient bird.
DEAR READER

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blake kathryn
Cosmic Funnies
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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JVL

@theartofmadeline
Not today Justin
Stranger Things
Today's Document
Xuebing Du

oozey mess
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Love Begins
KIROKAZE
dirt enthusiast
RMH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Product Placement

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@felinesassosaurus
Among the smartest and longest lived animals we can ever hope to interact with and it was willing to learn this stupid trick to amuse its human friend.
Thank you patient bird.
cats have a long history of freaking out at invisible objects so this is normal
It's incredible how all of the censorship on the modern internet doesn't actually seem to be making society kinder or more wholesome hmm maybe there's a lesson in this
In an effort to avoid supporting megacorporations, I shall now be posing questions directly to tumblr that I would otherwise have googled.
If Mayonnaise is just eggs and oil, why it creamy?
Because it's also evil
Thanks!
Have scientists figured out what dark matter is yet?
Yup! It’s anything that takes up space, has mass, and is goth.
Wow!
What happens if you eat 23 packages of peeps?
You meet god
Thank goodness!
What's the correct way to eat a banana?
Whole, in one gulp.
Delicious!
Who is the Muffin Man?
Father of the Muffin Boy
Makes sense!
Why is my car making a ker-klunk noise?
Car's haunted
Uh Oh
How to fix a haunted car?
Slam into a priest in a crosswalk going at least forty miles an hour
It worked!
Where does the wax in scented candles go?
into the sky, where it turns into stars
Cool!
Why are weddings so damn expensive?
priest has to pay for medical bills related to haunted car crashing into him
....Ah
ChatGPT WISHES it was this coherent and creative
a roasted brussel sprout can change your life if you let it. open your heart. take my hand. its good, try it. i love a brusseled sprout I love you
I like in avatar when they sneak into omashu and Aang is like "I'm mr Pippinpaddleopsicopolis" and the king thinks "this is obviously Aang, my old friend, who is still 12 for some weird reason" and then turns around and goes "of course, mr Pippinpaddleopsicopolis"
just remembered shows used to have 20-25 eps per season
i think the thing about batman's no kill rule is that its essentially bruce saying "guilty people don't deserve to be murdered on the street either, actually." and he's not wrong.
#batman's no kill rule has so many good layers and so few people want to engage with it beyond 'I think it's dumb'#and that includes actual batman writers who have given the stupidest reasons for its existence#like there's the logistical level#if batman starts killing then he is going to have more problems dealing with the law and public opinion than he already has#then there's the personal checks and balances level#bruce is already a fuckoff wealthy genius if he starts killing that's an additional layer of power he has to trust himself with#i think there are similar reasons behind why he never tries to take public office or start his own 'criminal' syndicate to push out others#so THAT is the level where it works as a cautionary 'don't become like them' thing because bruce is already too powerful#and too fixated on controlling things. if he gives himself additional leeway to take more power & control he's gonna lose it#like someone who knows they've got an addictive personality refusing to even touch cigarettes or slot machines because haha NO#then there's the ethical level of people don't deserve to be killed on the street#and also batman specifically doesn't *want* to kill#like yeah maybe in the moment he gets mad enough at the joker or someone that he could kill them#but in general part of the whole reason he does this is because he doesn't want people to die he wants them to get help#and in a super hero and villains universe part of meeting ppl where they're at is putting on a costume and solving their death puzzle
tags via @sunderwight
“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
#tapping the reblog button with utmost care because i’m handling a historical artifact (via @malarkiness)
holy shit OP is not only still active but is still making absolutely banger posts in this exact style 11 years later
A 2025 update
bro im gonna CRY i didnt know this 🥺
Scrolling through the morning news, (Tumblr, the only news source I trust)
If I am going to read lies at least here they are farm-fresh artisanal lies, made by good, honest craftsmen, not that AI slop
These lies are organic, locally grown, in season, and hand picked by only the finest lie connoisseurs (my mutuals)
Scrolling through the morning news, (Tumblr, the only news source I trust)
If I am going to read lies at least here they are farm-fresh artisanal lies, made by good, honest craftsmen, not that AI slop
These lies are organic, locally grown, in season, and hand picked by only the finest lie connoisseurs (my mutuals)
Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)
I need him face today.
Wizard Ritual to Appease The Bone Snake
If you have not supplicated yourself to The Bone Snake today, do so now
If you do not bow to The Bone Snake now, The Bone Snake will force to you to be bowed forever
i hate the bone snake
The Bone Snake also hates you
.
.
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unless☝️