your local sober vodka aunt @felinesassosaurus - Tumblr Blog

Among the smartest and longest lived animals we can ever hope to interact with and it was willing to learn this stupid trick to amuse its human friend.

Thank you patient bird.

beemovieerotica

earhartsease

cats have a long history of freaking out at invisible objects so this is normal

quasi-normalcy

It's incredible how all of the censorship on the modern internet doesn't actually seem to be making society kinder or more wholesome hmm maybe there's a lesson in this

everyday-cutephoto

whynotfabulous

In an effort to avoid supporting megacorporations, I shall now be posing questions directly to tumblr that I would otherwise have googled.

whynotfabulous

If Mayonnaise is just eggs and oil, why it creamy?

gnomer-denois

Because it's also evil

whynotfabulous

Thanks!

Have scientists figured out what dark matter is yet?

you-can-be-what-you-want-to-be

Yup! It’s anything that takes up space, has mass, and is goth.

whynotfabulous

Wow!

What happens if you eat 23 packages of peeps?

trashboi413

You meet god

whynotfabulous

Thank goodness!

What's the correct way to eat a banana?

treslecheslife

Whole, in one gulp.

whynotfabulous

Delicious!

Who is the Muffin Man?

captain-oh-no-not-again

Father of the Muffin Boy

whynotfabulous

Makes sense!

Why is my car making a ker-klunk noise?

mayflydecember

Car's haunted

whynotfabulous

Uh Oh

How to fix a haunted car?

babybluebanshee

Slam into a priest in a crosswalk going at least forty miles an hour

whynotfabulous

It worked!

Where does the wax in scented candles go?

thegoodsandy

into the sky, where it turns into stars

whynotfabulous

Cool!

Why are weddings so damn expensive?

daeynore

priest has to pay for medical bills related to haunted car crashing into him

whynotfabulous

....Ah

whynotfabulous

ChatGPT WISHES it was this coherent and creative

bulkhummus

a roasted brussel sprout can change your life if you let it. open your heart. take my hand. its good, try it. i love a brusseled sprout I love you

ghosttrolls

I like in avatar when they sneak into omashu and Aang is like "I'm mr Pippinpaddleopsicopolis" and the king thinks "this is obviously Aang, my old friend, who is still 12 for some weird reason" and then turns around and goes "of course, mr Pippinpaddleopsicopolis"

bonivers

just remembered shows used to have 20-25 eps per season

bonivers

raptorofwar

infinitysgrace

i think the thing about batman's no kill rule is that its essentially bruce saying "guilty people don't deserve to be murdered on the street either, actually." and he's not wrong.

elf-kid2

#batman's no kill rule has so many good layers and so few people want to engage with it beyond 'I think it's dumb'#and that includes actual batman writers who have given the stupidest reasons for its existence#like there's the logistical level#if batman starts killing then he is going to have more problems dealing with the law and public opinion than he already has#then there's the personal checks and balances level#bruce is already a fuckoff wealthy genius if he starts killing that's an additional layer of power he has to trust himself with#i think there are similar reasons behind why he never tries to take public office or start his own 'criminal' syndicate to push out others#so THAT is the level where it works as a cautionary 'don't become like them' thing because bruce is already too powerful#and too fixated on controlling things. if he gives himself additional leeway to take more power & control he's gonna lose it#like someone who knows they've got an addictive personality refusing to even touch cigarettes or slot machines because haha NO#then there's the ethical level of people don't deserve to be killed on the street#and also batman specifically doesn't *want* to kill#like yeah maybe in the moment he gets mad enough at the joker or someone that he could kill them#but in general part of the whole reason he does this is because he doesn't want people to die he wants them to get help#and in a super hero and villains universe part of meeting ppl where they're at is putting on a costume and solving their death puzzle

tags via @sunderwight

reallyreallyreallytrying

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted