Posts And Stuff

Stevie . 28 . bipolar 1 . ptsd . adhd . autism

[feralgremlinchild]

About me

My name is Stevie, I’m 29, and my pronouns are she/they. Queer.

I have bipolar I, ADHD, PTSD and autism.

I used to run a blog called wiredbipolar, but I deleted it along with all my other blogs at the time.

I have 2 dogs, 3 cats, and a ball python.

I don’t know what this blog will be yet. I don’t know if it’s going to be something I frequently use. But I’m always open to talking to anyone. Please don’t be shy

[wedarkacademia]

[arcanumnyx]

getting older is all about getting weirder and sexier and more perverted and gluttonous and intelligent and blunt and eloquent and spontaneous and skilled. i love that for us.

[feralgremlinchild]

Today would have been Olaf’s eleventh birthday. I miss him so much. He was the best thing to ever happen to me, and I carry him with me everywhere I go. Life isn’t the same without him, but we gave him a wonderful time here full of adventure, family, and his favorite thing to do, service work. Planes, trains, light rails, cruise ships, a submarine, he did it all. Beaches, mountains, deserts, lakes, rivers and streams. College campus, horse barns, hiking trails, pup cups. He taught me what it meant to truly be a dog owner. He gave me back my independence and changed my life in more ways than I can count. He got me through the death of my mom, I couldn’t have done it without him. I don’t think I’ll ever have another service dog, none of them would compare to him. He was one of a kind, my heart dog.

[feralgremlinchild]

The past 12 months have been brutal. The absolute hardest year of my life.

Going in order, these are events that happened:

- my mom died

- I got into an abusive relationship

- my poodle had a tumor removed

- my golden service dog died

- we lost custody of my niece (her abusive father has her now)

- my cat was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease and a heart murmur

- my grandpa died

- had a hard time getting out of the abusive relationship

- got a job and had to leave after 3 weeks because it was very loud and overwhelming and left me nonverbal for half the shift every day

- had to take cat to the emergency vet and he’s slowly wasting in front of us due to age and illness, he turns 16 this year

Some good things did happen, though (not in order)

- got to talk to my niece for the first time in 10 months!!!! And her father agreed to possible public meetups in the future!!! (She considers me her mother and I consider her my child due to having helped raise her the first 10 years of her life so this is a very big deal and I was distraught without hearing from her)

- I have been seeing more of my other niece (my sister’s offspring adopted by family friend)

- spending a lot of time with my grandma, she’s the best

- took a road trip with my dad to our favorite mountain and state park!!!! It was amazing and the best and I am stuck in a huge city all the time and nature is where I belong. Hiking and driving through mountains make me feel at home

-learned how to assert boundaries

[calmdowngorgeous]

Destroy the myth that libraries are no longer relevant. If you use your library, please reblog.

[my-random--thoughts-deactivated]

[feralgremlinchild]

A month ago yesterday I had to say goodby to my best friend, my service dog Olaf. He was the best dog I could ever have asked for, and even more. I got to have him for 9 wonderful years, and I will forever be grateful to the organization that paired us.

He had a fun summer, we celebrated his 10th birthday, he got to go to his favorite places, he explored the neighborhood after using a trampoline to hop over a fence that was damaged in the tornado earlier this year. He ran and he played and did more dog like things than I had ever seen him do before. He got to work (his favorite thing) at home taking care of me and my dad after my mom passed away in the spring. We didn’t know it was his last summer, but I’m glad it was a good one.

He got sick one day and within about 30 hours he was gone. He had a type of cancer called hemagiosarcoma, and it’s nicknamed “the silent killer” because most dogs don’t show any signs at all until it’s too late. It was very sudden for all of us, but I’m glad it was relatively quick for him, and that his quality of life was amazing right up until that last day.

The ER vet staff sang him Do You Wanna Build A Snowman, he loved that song. He got his favorite food as a final treat, and I stayed with him for the entire process. My dad was out of town so a friend of mine had come over to help me carry Olaf to the car (he was paralyzed), and then she stayed with me and took me back to her place afterwards.

I will always wish I’d had longer with him, but he lived a very full life. He got to do things and go places that the vast majority of dogs will never experience. He was adored by everyone, and he was the family favorite. I feel like he stuck around long enough to get me to a decent place after my mom died and then he left when he felt I was going to be okay without him.

Losing my mom and my heart dog within a few months of each other was not how I saw this year going, and it’s been excruciating. There will never be another dog like Olaf, he was the greatest thing to ever happen to me.

[whimsifae]

[lesbianshepard]

I would be the worst spy of all time because on one hand I overshare like hell, but on the other hand I also have THE shittiest memory so it’s really a lose/lose scenario for everyone involved.

[lesbianshepard]

guy interrogating me: What’s the passcode?

me: Ah fuck. I think it might be 792.....4?

me: Actually no I think it starts with a 2.

me:

me: Yeah I usually just rely on muscle memory for it. Do you think you could get a keypad in here? That might be faster.

[lesbianshepard]

guy interrogating me: who do you work for?!

me: Okay, so this is super embarrassing. I know he told me his name when we first met but I forgot and at this point it would be weird if I asked him for his name again, right? So I just kind of go with “sir” whenever I have to talk to him. It might be David though. He looks like a David.

[lesbianshepard]

me, after being extracted: bad news guys, I totally blew Dave’s cover.

my boss: Wait, what?

me: Yeah, like they had knives and shit and it was kind of stressful so I just told them that my contact’s name was David Johnson. Really sorry about that.

boss: We don’t have a David Johnson working for us. Are you thinking of James?

me: 

me: Good news, guys, I did not blow James’ cover!

[lesbianshepard]

Enemy 1: So, how did the interrogation go?

Enemy 2: We got nothing. All they did was ramble on about their childhood trauma for two hours.

Enemy 1: Hmm. maybe lower the dose of the truth serum next time.

Enemy 2: We didn’t use truth serum.

[wekny]

Banana for scale

[scoutingthetrooper]

[haleyincarnate]

Quote by @fight-for-it-now, background art by Todd Walker

[cottaegecore]

i saw someone say "don't borrow grief from the future" and it did something to me. like maybe.. everything will be ok

[apollos-boyfriend]

something they don’t tell you about being autistic is that every character you write WILL end up autistic/autistic-coded whether you like it or not

[apollos-boyfriend]

same goes for being aromantic/asexual. every character WILL come out at least a little aspec

[apollos-boyfriend]

if you reblog this and purposefully remove the second addition i Will block you.

[busket]

I used to hate the word faggot but now I realize that it's probably one of the only things that the gay community has left that isn't being sanitized, shined, and sold back to us at a premium by deceitful ass companies who claim to like us but then vote for policies that kill us. you're not gonna see a bank in a pride parade with banners that say "we love faggots" but you sure as hell will see a gay person saying "I love being a faggot" it feels so more real.

and I want it to stay controversial too because if a bank ever feels like they have the right to say "haha faggot right guys? 😏🏳️‍🌈" we should be able to publicly execute their ceo

[toskarintoast]

bread so tasty. bread so nice. toast it once. toast it twice.

[toskarintoast]

toast three times. it turns to coal. burning toast is not my goal.