𝕘𝕦𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕥

ahn sebin forever 18 fledgling vampire

[feysebin]

feysungha​:

( tw // emotional manipulation, gaslighting, blood, intoxication  )

- [ keep reading ] -

[ trigger warnings: emotional manipulation, gaslighting, blood, intoxication ]

he shivers slightly as sungha reassures him that it’s alright. it doesn’t really feel like it’s alright, but he relaxes slightly nonetheless, sensing that the other won’t be any more disappointed for now. sebin won’t disappoint sungha anymore. when sungha asks if he can trust sebin to not make the same mistake again, sebin nods his head quickly, eagerly, almost violently — only to stop abruptly as the movement jars the dizziness in his head, and he stills with a soft whimper. 

“i w-won’t... it won’t h-happen again,” he promises to sungha in a faint voice, trying to keep ahold of himself so that he won’t make another mess on the floor. 

the shift towards sungha and the subsequent pause he has to take brings forth another sigh, and sebin flinches at the sound, barely able to conceal it, guilt welling up in his stomach at the thought that he is, once again, inconveniencing sungha. you’re so useless, he berates himself, his expression pained, to cause such trouble to the person who saved you and took care of you all this time. 

“i’m s-sorry,” he whispers in response even as sungha helps him up to his shaky feet. the hands that guide him up are not harsh, though, in contrast to the other’s words, and sebin goes pliantly without arguing that he should clean it up more. he can do it tomorrow. sungha’s hands on his are gentle and it reassures sebin that right now, it’s okay to go to bed and sleep. the exhaustion is dragging at his limbs, the dizziness spinning in his head, but even so, he takes each step carefully. 

no more accidents. not tonight. tonight, he has to be good. 

[feysungha]

rebirth

backdated to january 7th, 2021

it’s a day like no other. sungha doesn’t partake in celebrations often, most of the time he doesn’t see a point to it. he participates whenever needed, so no one would question it. when it comes to himself though, he keeps it to a minimum. but just like everything, there are exceptions. the seventh of january marks a significant change in the world—the birth of ahn sebin, who was lying peacefully in bed when the morning came. he treated ( @feysebin ) the same, reminding him of the rules in place that keeps the fledgling far from harm. but today, he tells sebin not to go out.

there is a reason for that.

he embarks to do his usual routine afterwards, making sure to lock the door and checking to make sure the spells are still functioning properly before he heads off. there’s nothing special to do in his ‘workshop’ today, he did most that he needed to prior so he’d have more time for leisurely activities, ones he doesn’t indulge in often, he realises. sungha makes a stop somewhere though, an establishment he doesn’t think he’d frequent but fitting considering today’s occasion. once he has his order in hand, he returns home earlier than usual.

whether sebin expected his earlier arrival or not from his warning in the morning doesn’t matter to his plans. sungha opens the door with his elbow, holding a rather large red box in his person. he can sense the vampire within the premises, heeding to his instructions as per usual. “sebin,” he calls out as he closes the door with his foot, shuffling his feet to take off his shoes and slip onto his slippers.

once sebin appears, sungha gives the other a softer smile—a rare sight, he doesn’t let the other witness it as often as he’d like. “i have something for you.”

[feysebin]

the days flow by like water in a river, blending together and mixing so smoothly that there’s no way for sebin to keep track of what day it is. his days are marked by the seasons, by the change of winter to spring to summer to fall. the weather that he doesn’t feel but can see occasionally, the colours that permeate his eyes, the change in the clothes that sungha leaves for him to dress in. time is meaningless — as it tends to be to a vampire — and sebin lives in the constant haze of days slipping into nights into days again, always sleepy and disoriented as he follows sungha’s schedule faithfully, rather than his own natural one. 

it is not entirely unusual for sungha to request that sebin stay at home. it had happened before, especially as sebin had seemed to get into more trouble. most of the time, though, sebin voluntarily stays at home — preferring the comfort of the four walls of their shared apartment to the scary world out there where he always gets into trouble. 

staying awake during the day is always a challenge, and more often than not, sebin winds up dozing off in the middle of the day, particularly when sungha is out and sebin isn’t particularly driven by the need to please his only companion. on days when sungha is home, the fledgling often tries to keep him company, though it almost always fails. sungha doesn’t seem to mind, though.

he’d woken up from his nap not too long ago, sleepy eyes drifting shut again as he yawns, cuddled up in his blankets and very comfortable. he’s thinking sleepily about maybe dozing off again when he perks up, the sound of a familiar heartbeat entering his senses. rubbing the sleepiness out of his eyes, he slips out of bed, bare feet pattering against the floor as he makes his way towards the sound of sungha’s familiar voice calling for him. 

he smiles when he sees sungha at the door, his eyes brightening. “welcome home,” he says softly, rubbing at his eyes again and he feels all warm and happy inside when he sees sungha’s smile, so soft, feeling like the flame of warmth inside his stomach is tickling him happily. “something? for me?” he asks in disbelief, his eyes widening in surprise. the warmth wells up even more in him and he can’t believe how good of a day it is already. he had a really nice nap, and sungha smiled at him so warmly, and now something that sungha has for him? how could the day get any better?

[feysebin]

{ ★ Stand By You }

feyjun​:

{ tw: mentions of hospitals and illness’ }

being around sebin was like a breath of fresh air, especially with everything going on in his life. being diagnosed with leukemia was something that had at some point made yejun lose hope in a lot of things, one of those things being that he would live to grow old, however when he had first met sebin it was as if he had some sort of light in his life once again. the time they spent together through their stays in the hospital, the way they had easily managed to get along with one another, it had definitely made yejun see things a lot more differently than he previously had when he had first been diagnosed with his illness.

he smiles softly at what sebin says, giving a small nod. “i know. i guess it just gets tiring listening to the same things.” he chuckles softly at his own words. of course he knows that even sebin most likely feels the same way as he does, the two having dealt with the same things over and over again that it just gets exhausting both mentally and physically. he has to stay strong though, if not for himself than for at least sebin. the younger male was already going through a lot more than yejun was and he knew this which was why he tried his best, even on the days he really wasn’t feeling well, to smile and be as positive as he could be.

“i sure did!” he makes his way over to the bed and slowly hops in, settling in beside the younger male. “well, it’s nothing really new but something that you like doing.” he turns his head to look at sebin, the smile returning to his face as he does so. he knows that at some point the doctors will come looking for him, knows that they’ll most likely already know where he’s at without having to send out some sort of search party to find him, however until that happens he will spend what little time he has before that trying to help sebin relax some after what all the other had gone through that day.

thinking of this, he realizes that maybe he should just be quick with what he’s brought. if he plays around too much then the younger male won’t be able to enjoy the little ‘surprise’ that he brought. “i brought this for you.” he says this as he pulls out a pair of headphones and his phone, dangling the two items in front of them as he chuckles softly. “i figured you would want some nice music to listen to since you had to deal with everything today. i even added some new songs as well that i thought you would like.” he says all of this as he sets up the headphones, gently placing one into sebin’s ear as he places the other into his and unlocks the device. he makes sure the volume isn’t too loud before he selects one of the songs and tilts his head slightly to look at sebin again, his expression soft as he does.

[ content warnings: hospitals, chronic/terminal illness ]

“nothing new from the doctors, then?” he asks quietly. he’s always hopeful for a change for the other, knowing that the other’s illness could swing abruptly. so could his, to be fair, but the doctors are hopeful, so sebin isn’t too worried. “no changes?” 

yejun’s smile is so soft, and sebin can’t help his smile from spreading across his face at yejun’s optimism and playfulness, his expression genuine even though it falls shortly afterwards as he coughs, sticky and painful, chest aching. but that’s normal for him, and it doesn’t take long for his smile to return, once the coughing fit has passed. it’s easier, with the flow of oxygen through the nasal cannula supporting his recovering lungs, to feel less short of breath. “did you bring a book?” he asks and it’s something that he really enjoys, asking yejun to read for him, even though it makes him feel like a child. there’s something so wondrous about being able to get lost in the fantasy world that surrounds him, so different from what he experiences on a daily basis. so different for yejun, too, he thinks. 

but what yejun presents him with is just as exciting and nice, and his eyes widen when yejun tells him that there are new songs on there, too. sebin loves music. it’s something he really enjoys, and yejun has a different taste in music, opening up new worlds for new songs that sebin draws comfort from when he’s alone. it’s not uncommon at all for the music to be his only companion through the lonely nights he spends in the hospital, the hum of machines his only other company. 

yejun tucks the earbud into his ear with such gentleness, and sebin’s eyes flutter closed as the soft strains of music start playing, soothing and relaxing the young teenager’s exhausted body. “it’s pretty,” he mumbles, almost inaudibly. there’s a smile on sebin’s face that seems to erase the discomfort he’s experiencing, and he opens his eyes, a softness to his gaze that speaks of either drowsiness or comfort. either way, it’s clear that he had really enjoyed the song. “it’s really pretty,” he says with a stifled yawn, “i like it... was it released recently?”

[feysebin]

feydonghyun​:

it’s easy to read the other boy–sebin–even without using magic or anything. the other was so jumpy and afraid that it makes donghyun’s heart ache. he’s never been in a situation like this. sure he’s seen his dad comfort people who have wondered into their store sensing the magic and seeking sanctuary. but donghyun himself has never had to be the one to do it. to help someone feel at ease with their surrounding. it’s a little daunting because he really does want to help but he doesn’t know how.

his head cocks to the side as he stays where he was when sebin moves away. not wanting to crowd the other too much. he was trying to help! not make it worse! 

“you’re not safe?” he parrots the words, rolling them around. and a part of him thinks it might be the other thinking it’s not safe here, but he pushes that away because donghyun already assured him it’s safe here! something kind of clicks though and the teen smiles a little. he had though sebin felt odd and it’s because donghyun’s interactions with vampires are rarer than with werewolves. he knew sebin wasn’t a wolf–having grown up around his uncle he knows the feel of a wolf and their wild energy. 

“are you afraid you’ll hurt me?” he questions gently, jumping right to the conclusion that the other is a vampire and not even worried about being wrong. “have you been around witches? we don’t smell very nice is what i’ve been told.” he shifts a little and holds out his arm closer to sebin, as if offering him to test. “i know you won’t hurt me! you’re safe here!” 

shakily, sebin inhales air that he doesn’t need, pressing a hand against the floor to ground himself. control. he has to control himself, he thinks to himself, hand clenching into a fist, and he stares at the other with wide, uncertain eyes. “not safe,” he repeats softly, grateful when the other doesn’t approach him insistently. it helps him to calm down, the other’s unfaltering peacefulness practically radiating out, and he exhales softly, the act comforting in and of itself. 

“y-yes... i hurt people,” he whispers softly, scrubbing at his eyes with a hand. the other — donghyun, he remembers — speaks, and sebin hesitates, the words catching him off guard. is it true? hesitantly, he sniffs slightly, leaning towards the other male with fear gripping his heart, worried that he’ll just snap and rip into the other’s wrist. 

but donghyun is right — he doesn’t smell like something sebin wants to eat. it’s like sungha, and sebin settles down a little more, feeling better than before now that he knows he’s less likely to hurt donghyun. after all, he’s never hurt sungha, right? he doesn’t think he has. he thinks sungha would have been very disappointed and angry if he had, and sebin doesn’t want to hurt donghyun, either. he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. he just can’t control himself, sometimes. 

“you don’t smell nice,” he agrees softly, not even thinking about how his words could be construed out of context. but the relief in his voice is almost palpable, and he wraps his arms around himself, curling in on himself. he wants to go home, but it’s not safe. “the hunter...”

[feysebin]

— wrong footed ,

feyxareum​:

areum knew that sebin was frightened by her, she noticed these little things even when she acted as if she didn’t. how could she not pick up on this when she was around him quite a bit, especially when she paid a little visit to sungha while delivering special items to the witch. it wasn’t like she had asked him to create sebin, however she also knew that the fledgling didn’t exactly ask to be turned with the use of her blood either.

she couldn’t exactly remember whether or not if she herself had asked to be turned back then or if it had been against her own will, some things revolving around the night her village was attacked were still a blur to her and she honestly never really cared to actually ask her sire about any of it. it was already bad enough having the nightmares that she did about what happened to her family back then and she wasn’t exactly wanting to add onto that.

listening to sebin speak, areum lets out a sigh, rolling her eyes as she remembers how sungha had explained all of this to her a few days before. “right, the witch had to dump you off on me. i forgot.” she says this as she steps to the side, opening the door a bit more for him to enter. “hurry in before i change my mind.” her tone and expression change just slightly, though the annoyance is still clearly there. maybe if she actually had so much as a little bit of emotions she would actually care for sebin ( despite her not being the one who actually turned him herself ) however she couldn’t care less about him. was that harsh? most likely, however it’s just how she was.

once he’s inside, she shuts the door and makes sure to lock it before she turns towards him, crossing her arms as she walks around him and makes her way towards the kitchen where she had previously been before she had been interrupted. she stops once she’s at the doorway and glances back at the young male. “are you hungry?” honestly she would love to say that she doesn’t care whether or not he’s eaten, however she had to admit that she still was his sire and if something were to happen where he attacked a human, and possibly killed them, then it would fall back on her either way, especially when she was the one tasked to keep an eye on him while sungha was away.

sebin should really be less obvious with how much areum scares him. but it’s hard for him to resist his instincts — in general. not only does he have a difficult time controlling his emotions and instincts when they warn him against something or when he desperately seeks affection, it’s also hard for him to control his instincts when he scents blood. everything is hard for him. 

“i’m sorry,” he mumbles softly at areum’s annoyed tone, relieved when she opens the door and he hurries inside at the reluctant invitation, before she can retract it. sebin would never dare to impose on someone who had explicitly said no to him, too dependent now to take a step like that. perhaps sebin in the past, sick though he was, would have willingly spoken up in uncomfortable situations, but now? sebin looks to sungha to handle any type of conflict, especially with someone as frightening as his sire. 

“i...” he starts, his throat itching at the mention of being hungry, and he swallows, suddenly parched. is he hungry? he’s almost always hungry, at least a little bit. maybe it’s why he’s never really learned how to control himself — the bloodlust takes over far too easily, it’s a little bit too easy to spiral out of control when it’s always hovering just at the edge of his mind. 

“i... i’m h-hungry,” he stutters, his tone of voice betraying that he isn’t sure what answer the other is looking for, afraid to be scolded and reported to sungha as having been bad. he hates disappointing sungha. trailing after her uncertainly, he glances around him uncertainly, trying to make sure he doesn’t disturb anything. he doesn’t think she’ll take very well to that. “i’m sorry...” he apologizes out of habit for inconveniencing her.

[feysebin]

feysungha​:

it’s almost too easy.

he had spent many days in sebin’s hospital room, memorising each shift of expression, noting down what makes the other click, the words he’ll carefully select to draw sebin in closer to him, gentle gestures he’d grant the other so sebin will continue to stay by his side—to smile for him. it’s like breathing, a natural reaction that simply occurs. each twinge of sebin’s response, the ragged breathing he hears and the panic that begins to rise is as he expected. exactly what he had been hoping for. sungha lets sebin speak, desperate rambling in between tattered huffs. all the while, he remains calm and composed, he’s rarely ever otherwise.

( tw // emotional manipulation, gaslighting, blood )

- [ keep reading ] -

[ trigger warnings: emotional manipulation, gaslighting, blood, intoxication ]

if sebin’s heart could still beat, it would surely be beating out of his chest with a rapid pitter-patter that would reveal just how much he hinged upon sungha’s words. his nerves rise higher and higher with each moment of silence, the thought of disappointing sungha one of the worst ones he could possibly have. he isn’t scared of sungha, but just of disappointing him. after all, sungha has done so much for him, the least sebin can do is listen to him, right? “mm,” he nods quickly at the other’s words, his shoulders relaxing slightly as he senses that sungha isn’t angry at him. the words that other speaks are so incredibly demeaning, and yet sebin doesn’t find anything wrong with them, not when they’re said in a such a soft tone. it’s a reassurance -- he’s not alone, and with his penchant for messes, he’s only more grateful that sungha is there to take care of him. 

“need you,” he mumbles softly, his dark eyes fixed on sungha’s face, guilt running through his veins at the mention of all his messes. his eyes fall to the floor in shame, cringing slightly away from the mess of blood he’d left on the floor. he’s still dizzy, still nauseous, but he feels a little bit better than before. “m’sorry for m-making messes...” he apologizes uselessly to the other male, sungha’s fingers only lingering briefly on his cheek. he leans into sungha’s touch automatically, but it’s gone too soon, and he lets out a soft little noise of disappointment, his eyes falling back to the puddle of blood on the floor. his mess.

sungha is so patient, cleaning up his messes. sebin still feels dizzy and a little sick, although he isn’t sure how much of that is because he feels bad for giving sungha more work. sungha starts to clean up the blood on the ground, and sebin hiccups, turning his face away in shame. he doesn’t expect it when sungha’s voice comes again, asking him gently if he’s tired, and he turns back to look at the witch with wide eyes, his chest loosening slightly from the tense anxiety that had been holding it tight. 

sungha always impresses upon sebin how it’s important to clean up after himself. and yet, here the witch is, pausing in the cleaning (of sebin’s mess) to ask if sebin is tired. it means that sebin is more important to sungha than the cleanliness, and the thought makes him inordinately happy. “a... a l-little bit...” he says softly, though in reality, he thinks he could fall asleep as soon as he was given permission to. “b-but, we need to clean... right?” he shifts forward to help sungha, even though the movement forward makes him sway a little bit. 

[feysohye]

—☆☽ fledgling discovery.

( flashback: one and a half years ago )

ahn sebin. the name echoes in her mind as she tries to reach his spirit. died february 17, 2018, from an illness you carried with you your whole life. everything’s set up as it should be, the chalk sigils, the crystals, the candles, sohye can feel the manifestation of her power as she searches through the world of the dead for someone who’s supposed to be there. where are you? nothing. not a whisper, not a pull, sebin’s spirit is nowhere to be found. she opens her eyes, blows out the candles with a sigh. this is what she does, contacting the dead is her thing, if she can’t find sebin’s spirit, the only explanation is that it’s still tied to his body.

she doesn’t even know why she’s trying this again, why she’d promised jisung before he’d left the store that she would. jisung had entered siphons & spells like many other customers before him, hoping she could contact the spirit of a loved one—in this case, jisung’s cousin. he had told her about sebin, that he’d had a health condition and that it had taken his life. jisung wanted to talk to him, and sohye had assumed fulfilling that request would be easy. but when she’d tried to summon sebin’s spirit… nothing.

she should leave it alone. admit defeat and tell jisung she can’t help him. but she can’t get this kid out of her mind. she has a theory, that sebin did die, but was subsequently turned into a vampire, his spirit returning to his—newly immortal—body. if her theory is correct, it’s all the more reason to drop it. she’s a witch, it’s not her place to meddle in vampire affairs. but she can’t shake her curiosity, or the nagging feeling that she needs to check in and make sure this guy’s okay. aera would tell her not to, but sohye’s familiar isn’t here right now, and besides, sohye rarely listens to her anyway.

it takes the better part of two days for sohye’s scrying to track him down. longer that it normally takes to find the average human, another indication that her theory might be correct. she sets off without hesitation, a protective amulet around her next and a pouch of precautionary potions and spell components tucked neatly into her bag. the trail leads her to an alley, tucked away in a quieter part of soul, and she approaches it with caution. there’s a figure at the end of the alley, and sohye knows it’s sebin only because her spell is telling her so. it’s impossible to see his face, he’s hunched over, a body in his arms. sohye’s theory is confirmed, sebin is, in fact, a vampire, and she’s caught him while he’s feeding.

carefully and quietly, sohye takes a piece of chalk out of her bag and draws a sigil on the brick at the entrance of the alley, muttering a few words under her breath. a light protective spell, one to dissuade and passers by from looking in. then, slowly, she walks towards the vampire. “ahn sebin?” she calls to him, pausing after a moment to keep her distance. where is your sire? she can’t help thinking. why are you alone?

———— starter for @feysebin.

[feysebin]

[ trigger warnings: blood ]

it has barely even been a half year since he’d woken up again locked under the dirt, buried six feet under, still alive. he still doesn’t know why they’d buried him alive, or why he felt so different. why weren’t his parents there, why had he not seen jisung, why was the only person who was there for him a close friend from school? sebin has a lot of questions, but they always seem to slip his mind when he is in front of sungha. the questions seem to slip away more quickly than he can grasp them, and swimming through the fog of his own mind is an exhausting process that drags at him painfully. 

he swallows hungrily, his mind only focused on the warm taste of blood slipping over his tongue. when he feeds, it’s like he completely loses himself, the conscious mind hiding in a corner, only to come out when the blood is gone and the situation is no longer quite so dire or demanding. but instincts are a messy teacher, and it shows in the way he feeds. 

the soft call of his name filters into his ears, delayed by the bloodlust currently overtaking him as he drinks from the body in his arms, the person already long past the point of saving, and it’s only belatedly that his brain connects the spoken name with his own identity. who is this...? if it had been even 5 minutes earlier, perhaps his bloodlust would have simply caused him to lunge at the stranger, or fail to even attract his attention at all. 

confused, he lifts his face, smeared with blood, messy from his feeding, the body in his arms losing its interest, the blood no longer flowing quite as freely, sated for the time being. uncomprehendingly, he stares up at the person who stands in the mouth of the alley, a woman he doesn’t know, and he clutches the body closer to him, almost protectively. 

scared, his mind tells him, scared. he growls softly, a warning that’s instinctual more than meant to communicate anything in particular. thump.... thump... thump... the sound of the steady heartbeat thrums in his ears and his throat itches, even though he feels full.

[feysebin]

feyjisung​:

feytaeyoon​:

( … )

his eyes land on the thing that had just attacked him and a startled gasp leaves his lips. eyes widening in horror at what he’s seeing because it’s not just some vampire. no. not some random creature which had decided to make taeyoons it’s snack for the evening. a horrified whisper leaves his lips. “sebin hyung?” as if he can’t fully believe what it is he’s seeing but he’s been around the older enough times to know what he looks like. it makes his body run cold ( though part of that could be the blood loss too ) and he repeats. “thats– thats sebin hyung.” a little louder. almost begging someone to tell him he’s wrong. 

sebin died. so why is he here now? 

( ... )

as he stares down at sebin, his gaze shifts into one of regret. there’s so many things he wants to say to sebin, he isn’t even sure if his cousin would be able to hear him or even recognise him. he wonders how he’s faring as a supernatural himself, but noticing sebin’s brittle bones and the way he has no control over himself, jisung can come to his own conclusions. it must not have been easy, jisung knew exactly how it felt, having to go through it alone.

“sebin hyung, i’m—i’m sorry,” he says, not knowing what else to tell the other. he can’t help but ponder over whether he’d be able to save sebin from this life, a curse. he’s not sure what to do now, whether he’d be able to hurt the other to save taeyoon.

the way that his name sounds in the mouths of others has become something utterly unfamiliar to him. he only ever hears it in one voice now, has only heard it like that for the past two years, and his mind has been so muddled that he almost doesn’t remember how things had been... before. it cuts through the fog of bloodlust that clouds his mind, a sharp knife with a sweet voice and he stills momentarily, the rage in his face at being thwarted twisting into one of confusion.  

sebin hyung. the words stir something inside of him and he shivers, a soft little whimper escaping his lips as he twitches under the strong grip of the person holding him down. sebinnie. the cooed tone is what he’s accustomed to, playing from another part of his mind, and he whitnes softly, knowing that it’s sungha in his mind. sungha, his saviour. but he hears it again, the softer way that the tongue curls around his name, no cloying sweetness to it — sebin hyung. the voices are so familiar and he arches slightly, weak compared to the other, still trying to get free even if  his mind is trying to sluggishly piece things together. sebin hyung, i’m—i’m sorry.

he gasps and it feels like he’s broken through the surface of the water when the voice resonates inside his head. he stares at the person holding him down with eyes that are blown wide with shock and fear, realization slowly dawning on him. if his heart still beat in his chest, it surely would have stuttered in that moment. 

“ji... sung,” he rasps out, limbs falling still under the other’s strength on his chest. his eyes burn and his chest aches, but it’s not because of his cousin’s weight on his chest. jisung smells so good but he isn’t human... he isn’t human anymore. he’s finally connecting all the dots, the pieces of strangeness and familiarity he had noticed while still hazy with bloodlust, and the result is something he doesn’t know how to cope with. “jisung,” he breathes out, and this time it’s a broken noise. 

where jisung had been, taeyoon had never been far. sebin turns his head slowly, the smell of blood strong in the air, making his throat itch, but he fights the urge to succumb, he’s never had such motivation — and his eyes fall on another familiar figure, guilt washing through him so strongly he thinks he might drown under its tide. “taeyoon,” he whimpers, taeyoon whose neck is bloody and ravaged, taeyoon who he had tried to eat —

[feysebin]

{ ★ Stand By You }

feyjun​:

yejun remembered when he had been able to freely do what he wanted with no worries of getting sick, those were the times that he had missed the most really, though he knew that there was nothing he could do at this point. he knows that he can get better, however there’s always that chance of a relapse if that happens and he was beginning to just accept the fact that there would be a day where he wouldn’t be able to avoid fate for very long.

sometimes when he wasn’t visiting sebin’s room he would stare out of the hospital window to watch the people outside passing by and wish that he could do the same. some days he would sneak up to the rooftop and actually enjoy a bit of fresh air for just a few moments when he was feeling stuffy being stuck in his hospital room. when sebin was either too exhausted for visitors or even busy getting treatments or going through his round of tests, yejun would roam around the hospital ( while trying to avoid the doctors and nurses ) and just get a little exercise.

honestly, he knew that sebin had it more rough than he did himself, yejun knew in a way what the younger male was going through because he himself had been diagnosed at a young age as well and he knew how much it all sucked. this was one of the reasons why he made sure to do his best when visiting the others room to help sebin feel relaxed and tried helping him take his mind off of all the troubles that he went through.

yejun can see just how tired sebin is and it takes all of his mental strength to not allow his expression to falter at the sight, keeping the same smile that he had when he first entered. “besides the doctors pestering me most of the day like usual, i’m doing alright i guess.” he tilts his head just slightly to the side as he purses his lips and thinks for a moment before his smile returns. “guess what i brought with me today? i’ll give you three chances and if you manage to get it right i’ll grant you one wish.”

[ content warnings: hospitals, chronic/terminal illness ]

sebin can’t help his smile when yejun speaks with him like there’s absolutely nothing wrong with either of them. every time yejun speaks like the doctors are just needling him endlessly for no reason, rather than being one of the main reasons they’re both still alive, it makes sebin giggle. the older male arguably has the shorter end of the stick, and yet he can still treat his illness with such lightness. 

it gives him some kind of hope, or the energy to keep going. “the doctors... are trying to help,” he says with a tired smile, though there’s no actual heat in his words, just saying it for the sake of teasing yejun. his illness might result in intense periods of exhaustion as his body tries to fight off lung infections and other complications, but for the most part, sebin is able to live outside of the hospital. he doesn’t know how much time yejun has to spend here, but he’s willing to wager that it’s more than him, and yet somehow the other always manages to be positive. it helps him smile more, despite whatever is happening. 

“you... brought something?” he breathes out, his eyes brightening as he tries to think about what the other might have brought. “but you... have to give me hints, hyung... there are so many things...” he might be tired, but he’s not going to turn down rare company (even if yejun’s presence isn’t that rare), and he pushes himself up slightly in bed so he’s more propped up, patting the empty space on the bed he’d just created for the other. “don’t stand... you’ll get tired,” he encourages.

are they supposed to do this? probably not, but can sebin really be blamed for wanting the presence of his friend here? can yejun be blamed for wanting to spend time with someone that isn’t the doctor? they’re so young. they’re sixteen and eighteen, living with what feels like a guillotine hanging above their necks -- in that case, is it really unreasonable for them to want to enjoy each other’s presence while they still can?

[feysebin]

— wrong footed ,

feyxareum​:

there had always been that relaxing feeling of being alone in her own home, the quietness being something that she had grown to love over the years. she didn’t have to deal with the headache of putting up with someone living in her house, pestering her every single time she turned around, it was amazing. yes she had the occasional ‘guest’ over, however that was only when she was bored and wanted to have a little fun torturing another being really.

it was rare for her to have visitors or to even have any trespassers on her property because most of the other supernatural creatures within the city knew not to even attempt showing up, most of them knowing very well that areum was the type who would show no mercy and wouldn’t hesitate to end their life as quick as possible. so, when she hears the sudden knock on her door she stops what she’s doing, currently in the kitchen pouring herself a glass of Karuizawa Vintage 1965 Cask whiskey. she lets out a heavy sigh, the current relaxed feeling she had being replaced with annoyance as she sets the bottle down onto the counter.

she makes her way out of the kitchen and into the living room, her expression looking murderous as she approaches the door and opens it out of frustration. “i swear i can’t get any-” she pauses when she lays eyes on who it is, her eyes narrowing at sebin before her gaze shifts to look behind him as she speaks. “what are you doing here little fledgling?” when she realizes that he is in fact alone she returns her gaze to him. “you’re alone… where is your witch friend at?” 

he shifts from foot to foot, even though he doesn’t need to. there’s no need for him to move — he could easily stand there for hours and hours and feel absolutely fine. it’s a far cry from the sebin he had been when he was human, but at the same time, it’s still strange. everything is strange... the door opens, and his eyes widen as he takes a half step back out of instinct. the aura surrounding areum speaks of annoyance, and despite sebin knowing (intellectually and instinctively) that she is his sire, she scares him. 

he thinks she might even enjoy it, sometimes. 

he shies away from her, her expression so frightening, as though she could spear him through the lungs that had never worked for him as a human, the lungs that were no longer necessary in his new life. it’s strange what a difference it makes — he had died because of his lungs, and now his lungs will never affect him. sebin can’t wrap his mind around it. 

for a few moments, the only thing he can do in the face of areum’s displeasure is stare dumbly at her. “s-sungha said he had to go away for a few days,” he manages after long moments, fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie, gnawing on his bottom lip out of anxiety. he wants sungha. he wants sungha there, because when sungha is there, not only does sebin feel safe, automatically, but areum’s attention is also often focused more on the witch than on him. he likes it better that way. 

“h-he said i should stay with you... he said he told you,” he whispers, his eyes wide, shaggy black hair falling into his eyes and making him look even more small and vulnerable than he already does. sebin has always been on the smaller side, and given how young he’d died? he’d never reached his full potential. still, while areum is physically smaller than him, the way that she carries herself makes him feel like a bug, about to be crushed.

[feysebin]

✂ ── PICK A GOD AND PRAY

feyjaeyong​:

he doesn’t have one? how curious. how is he still alive, then? why hasn’t that member of the vampire council fond of abandoned fledglings wrangled him yet? why hasn’t the other killed him for the damage he’s done? oh, what a pleasure this is. what an honor for him to fall into jaeyong’s hands, and for him to deliver the final blow. poor abandoned fledgling. poor bloodthirsty monster. “oh, geez,” jaeyong sighs. “i’m sorry,” for his loss, for his misfortune, for something he doesn’t actually mean. he sticks out his bottom lip in a sympathetic frown, feigned, made obvious by the wicked grin that follows soon after.

the sound of him begging satisfies jaeyong so deeply, like a drug in his own right. that dark smile lingers on his lips, knife still twisting between his fingers, constant threat yet constant sign that the vampire still lives, for now. “oh?” he doesn’t want to die. the smile disappears momentarily, replaced by mock thought, blinking as he pretends to consider this very convincing, very convicting plea. “hmmmm…” he observes the vampire, weak and struggling, pitiful, but jaeyong doesn’t truly pity him at all.

he smiles again. “don’t you know…” he pauses for dramatic effect– dramatic, as most things with jaeyong are. “you’re already dead.” the knife stops spinning between his fingers. does jaeyong refer to the first death that led to his immortal state? that death– the intended only death, the death jaeyong is destined to return them to. does he mean now, with this gaping wound and jaeyong’s knife poised to strike again, this time the finishing blow?

he’ll aim for the heart next, though the allure of another nonlethal wound is tempting: more spilled vampire blood, more pain for a creature so deserving, more panic in his eyes. no. jaeyong is slowly changing, the past month hardening him in new ways, and whether it’s frayed patience or something else is uncertain.

it still drives him to close the distance between them regardless, knife bared, aimed straight for the heart after all.

[ trigger warnings: violence, blood ]

for a moment, sebin naively hopes that the hunter will simply let him go. sebin hasn’t been bad, has he? not bad enough to warrant something as serious as death... he really hopes not, at least. he knows he’s hurt people, but... he hadn’t meant to. he’s not a bad person, is he? he inhales — air he doesn’t need, rushing in through still lungs, and he whimpers in pain as the movement jostles his wound again. it’s not healing. why isn’t it healing? sungha had always said that his wounds healed quickly, it was one of the advantages of being a vampire, wasn’t it? 

the other’s words, however, are what really make him freeze in his spot. don’t you know... you’re already dead. the words freeze him like a gust of chilly wind might if one is already wet, and he can only stare up at the hunter with eyes widened and full of pain. “i—” he starts, before he falls silent again, his mind racing painfully. he’s already dead. that’s true. would it be better if he were to return to that state — properly dead? would it be less confusing? 

sebin, fool that he is, easily distracted that he is, has forgotten that he is not just here to ruminate about what exactly, he is. there is a hunter intent on killing him in front of him, and he jolts back into awareness, shaken out of his spiralling thoughts, when movement startles him. he moves but it’s already too late, vervain-poisoned silver knife striking deep into his chest. just in time to prevent his death. he’s just lucky he doesn’t actually need to breathe. 

it’s too late to avoid the blade, too late to avoid the agony that tears through him, and he screams, gasping for breath that he doesn’t need. but his movement had been just enough that the knife hadn’t found its way into his heart, and he wheezes out a pained sound, knees trembling violently under him as he stumbles backwards uselessly, poison working its way through his body, clothing stained a deep red. 

it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it HURTS IT HURTS! 

his body is screaming an endless cycle of agony and sebin lashes out, desperate to keep the hunter away from him. he has to run — he has to go home — he needs sungha. blind with pain, sebin sobs dryly, everything on fire. 

[feyjun-deactivated20210408]

{ ★ Stand By You }

@feysebin

{ backdated: 2016 }

it was funny how fate seemed to toy with others, how those who could be completely healthy one moment could end up sick the next. that’s how it was for jun. being forced to stay in a place that he had grown to hate over the time he had spent there, dealing with the treatments. it really sucked, though there was one good thing that came out of all this and that was the fact that he had gotten to meet someone like sebin. the younger male being someone that jun had grown close to as they both spent time here.

the other male was the only reason that jun probably managed to stay sane this whole time and it was because of sebin that he actually didn’t mind dealing with the treatments that he had to go through. the fact that the two of them spent time together when they were allowed, how they could just play little games to help pass the time or even listen to music on the days they both were just too tired to really do anything else. it was the only time that the two could relax a bit amidst the chaos in their lives right now.

jun smiles as he knocks on the door to sebin’s room, glancing around to make sure that no nurses or doctors were around before he finally opens the door and quickly slips inside, closing the door behind him as he greets the younger male. “sebin~ sorry i’m late, the nurses were being pesky and sticking around my room.” he makes a face at the thought before making his way over to the other males’ bed, making himself comfortable at the foot of it as he looks at sebin, the smile returning. “how are you doing today?” he asks this, his tone just as gentle as it always was when speaking to the other. 

[feysebin]

[ trigger warnings: hospitals, chronic/terminal illness ]

there are certainly ups and downs to the disease he’d been diagnosed with ten years ago. it hasn’t exactly been easy, having to keep up a daily health routine when there are so many things to deal with. although it does mean that he’s been able to stay out of the hospital, with such an intensive daily schedule, there are still times where hospital visits are necessary, even outside of just his routine checkups. 

unfortunately for sebin, with his disease, lung infections happen to be one of the things that put him into the hospital. they’re kind of routine by this point, despite his best efforts at preventing them. this past infection had been particularly stubborn, proving resistant to the strain of antibiotics he had been taking thus far. it had required a change in medication, a longer time spent in the hospital, and more tests. always more tests. 

but the hospital isn’t all bad. there are other people in the hospital, too, and sebin has managed to make friends with some of them. one of them is someone that sebin considers far more unlucky than him — leukaemia is no joke, and somehow the older male is always managing to seem more positive. 

when jun slips into his room, sebin blinks up at him from where he’s half propped up in bed, exhausted from that day’s round of tests. but he’s never too tired to spend time with the other patient (even if he does fall asleep sometimes). “hi, hyung,” he rasps out softly, his own smile coming across his face gently. “m’okay, kind of tired... how are you doing?”

[feysebin]

— wrong footed ,

a starter for @feyxareum !

there’s something very disconcerting about being in an unfamiliar place without the comfort of sungha near him. the thing is that the person whose residence he is standing in front of is someone that sebin is actually very attached to. but regardless of her status in his life, the way that he can be compelled to follow her orders, regardless of the importance that she holds as his sire, sebin has never felt safe around her. always uncertain, unsure, worried that he will do something wrong which will be reported to sungha. 

but there’s no other choice — sungha has to leave for a few days, and neither of them trust sebin to care for himself inside their apartment. there are too many things that could go wrong, without supervision. hence why he finds himself standing outside a familiar-yet-unfamiliar door, clutching the hem of his hoodie that makes him look even smaller than he already is. 

hesitantly, oh so hesitantly, he raises a hand to knock on the door, timid and worried. it’s too quiet at first, and surely can’t be heard by anyone, so he raises his hand again, knocking just a little bit louder. 

[feysebin]

— impulse control ,

feyminsoo​:

cute, is the first thing that minsoo thinks while he watches how this vampire acts when he’s still a little hazy, just then the werewolf realizing that of course he’s all sloppy like that because he’s drunk, perhaps a little too soon for what minsoo would expect — and that again just makes the omega werewolf a little more worried about this stranger. shouldn’t he have some sort of older vampire looking after him? to exactly avoid this sort of situations? what if minwoo was human instead of a werewolf? he’d be clearly be left in a much worse condition than the one he is in now and then the council could easily have a problem in their hands if this kid isn’t looked after.

that’s why minsoo can’t help the grin that appears on his lips the way the other tells him his name. “alright, sebinnie.” he repeats, tone still gentle like he’s talking to one of his kids. before looking around, trying to catch the sign of anything, but looking for another vampire, just anyone who could be following sebin or trying to find him but there’s nothing, or at least nothing that he can catch which is also a little weird, maybe not so much if sebin was clearly an older vampire that for some inconvenient incident took way too long to feed again, but this is a baby, and babies shouldn’t be left on their own. 

minsoo turns to sebin again, hands still cupping his face gently like that would help the other focus on him, hopefully not to fall asleep. “i need you to stay awake for me, ok, sweetheart? just for a bit.” hopefully for long enough for the werewolf to find out where he’s supposed to drop him or as a last alternative he’d just take him to his own apartment — a small mercy, minsoo thinks, since despite being ridiculously irresponsible when it’s only about himself, he’d never put his family in danger bringing a vampire home if he still lived with them, even when they’re all witches (sans hyunwoo and the only one who would have minsoo’s head for it) and at least the risk of them getting attacked and sucked dry was minimal. 

“is there someone with you?” the werewolf asks with raised eyebrows. “or somewhere i can drop you off?” then he bites his tongue to not just interrogate sebin, knows that he isn’t exactly in the best state of mind to process a lot of questions or if they’re too long, so he lets the other gather his own thoughts to answer, minsoo’s composure and expression showing nothing but patience and kindness. 

[ trigger warnings: intoxication, mentions of emotional manipulation ]

sebin is so, so sleepy. the man’s voice is quite nice, he thinks, all soft and warm like a blanket when it’s tucked around his chin at bedtime. sungha does that for him. he likes that feeling. it feels like how, when he’s been very, very good, sungha presses a kiss to his forehead. it feels like that kind of warmth, and sebin really likes it. the way the man says his name is so nice. 

sebinnie. he likes being called that. sungha only calls him sebin when he’s not been quite so good, and he doesn’t want to get into any more trouble. is he in trouble now? probably not, he thinks drowsily, his thoughts fluttering around like butterflies in his very, very jumbled mind. he shouldn’t be in trouble because he didn’t hurt anyone, right? sungha won’t be angry at him. the man is cupping his face and sebin gives a sleepy little smile, his dimples showing as he nuzzles the other’s hand with an instinctive motion. 

“mhmm,” he hums at the request to stay awake. it’s so soft and nice that sebin doesn’t really process what the other is saying, just listening to the sound of the words, his eyes blinking slowly as he fights the urge to just curl up and fall asleep. he’s supposed to nap in his bed, not outside in random places, and definitely not with a stranger. “sorry...” he mumbles as he clumsily pats the stranger’s chest, apologizing for biting him even if it didn’t hurt. 

someone with him? the question makes sebin open his eyes again, the struggle real as his eyes fight to close once more, and he loses that fight, furrowing his brow with his eyes still closed. it’s a rather cute, comical expression, silly and adorable. “phone,” he tells the other with his eyes still closed, a small pout on blood-red lips, trying to think past the haze. it helps a bit that the world isn’t spinning as much with his eyes closed, although it’s still kind of moving around in the darkness. “call sungha, please.” even drunk, sebin still remembers his manners.

[feysebin]

do you love me?

[ trigger warnings: emotional manipulation ]

love. 

love is such a funny word, isn’t it? it’s only four letters and yet it carries such depth, such importance, such weight. love carries so much on its shoulders and bears the heaviest burdens when it is genuine. and yet, at the same time, it’s so easy to have the words mean absolutely nothing. 

for sebin, though, the words mean so much. does he love sungha? 

the answer, unequivocally, is yes.

and in a way, perhaps that, too, is a product of what sungha has done to him. would sebin, in his right mind, aware of everything that sungha had engineered behind the scenes, still say that he loved sungha? no one will ever know.

but sebin loves sungha. he does. sungha is his saviour, his best friend, his guardian and protector. sungha is always seeking to make him stronger, to protect him from the world around them that is aggressive and wants to hurt them. there is no doubt in sebin’s mind that sungha is the most important person in his life after he’d reawakened. 

he’s not quite capable of wondering why sungha is the only one who knows about him.

there aren’t words to describe just how much sungha means to sebin. the other has become more than just a friend, but almost the centre of sebin’s world. so the paltry question of love? 

easy. 

mentioned: @feysungha

[feysebin]

what do you miss most about life before you "died?"

sebin doesn’t remember a lot about the life he had before he died. it feels like they’re locked behind hazy gates, barriers that block off access to his clear thoughts, and it constantly feels like he’s swimming through a pool of clouds — insubstantial and yet so stifling. 

but he remembers the warmth of bodies pressed up against him, the cooing of voices in his ears, the press of lips against his forehead. and he aches for that, from time to time. it’s okay for the most part, his memories buried behind all the other things that call at his attention, distracting him from ruminating on the things he misses. 

if he had to verbalize it now, he probably wouldn’t be able to. he can’t quite put his tongue to the word that would encompass the feeling that he misses, distantly though it is. he misses the warmth in his mother’s hugs, the feeling of his father’s hand ruffling his hair. he misses jisung’s hand in his, a silent squeeze saying more than he needs to know.

a third party would say that what he’s missing is affection. 

mentioned: @feyjisung

[beseonyul]

; blinding

the late hour does nothing to stop the familiar as she slinks along the darkened streets and alleyways. her dark coat allowing for her to slip in and out of the shadows much easier than most. the only thing ever really giving her away is the bright yellow ribbon around her neck. but even with that she is still able to remain rather unseen. which is what she is aiming for. not that she has much of a goal right now, eunji is mostly just lurking around the area since she has nothing better to do. 

she’s been back in seoul nearing fifteen years now ( excluding a brief few years she dipped down into busan ) and it’s still a bit odd to have been here for so long. nice, but odd. she can’t deny she has enjoyed being back around her brother and minsoo and of course the lovely witch family her brother has stayed close to. 

but it’s the odd feeling that often has her out lurking around on cold nights like this. the need to do literally anything other than just be locked inside. 

she isn’t looking for trouble but eunji has always had a knack for finding it, her nose picking up the smell of blood. a very familiar smell that she wishes she didn’t know so well. it makes her pick up the pace, paws hitting the ground and propelling her forward before she round the corner and finds a young boy. he is obviously frightened, and it tugs at her heart. the cat carefully moving closer with a questioning meow. 

@feysebin 

[feysebin]

[ trigger warnings: mentions of emotional manipulation, mentions of death ]

oh god. oh god. oh god. 

he hadn’t meant to hurt anyone. he hadn’t wanted to hurt anyone at all, but somehow when he had come to his senses again, there was a body cooling at his feet, already long past the point of saving. running away had been the only thing he could do, stumbling through alleys and shadows with horror coiling in his stomach, knowing that once again, he had stepped out of the apartment that he shared with sungha, and had, once again, broken the rules. 

sungha’s rules for him aren’t complicated. first, don’t get into trouble. second, don’t get drunk. third, come back home. they’re easy rules to follow, sebin knows, but somehow, he has such a hard time following them. without fail, he always goes back home, but... trouble seems to follow him around, and he’d done it again. guilt sits heavy in his gut, frightened to go home and face sungha’s disappointment again. 

why is he so useless? he can’t even keep a few simple rules... 

as he’s trying to gather up the courage to go back home and face sungha’s disappointment — he hates it so much when the other is disappointed in him, he wants sungha to be happy and smile, not stare at him with those dark eyes — there’s a soft meow from in front of him, and he looks down at the ground, startled by the sound, eyes widening. 

a cat... sebin hesitantly reaches out, sure that the cat will just run away. animals haven’t really liked him for a while now, which makes him sad, and while he doesn’t think this one will, either, at least they can scratch him now and it won’t affect him...