hello vonnie
i don't do bad sauce passes
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Cosimo Galluzzi

@theartofmadeline
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Kiana Khansmith
Today's Document
One Nice Bug Per Day
Sweet Seals For You, Always

⁂

pixel skylines
Xuebing Du
sheepfilms
will byers stan first human second
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

JVL
Sade Olutola
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@fezcosbitch
If I need a neurosurgeon to erase you from my memory then so be it.
Surgery scares me but the idea of having you there forever when I cannot have you again scares me more.
The idea of what I’ll do to myself scares me more.
i feel so bad for lucas. he's made his intentions clear by joining the basketball team from the start. him, mike and dustin all said they wanted high school to be different and he's sticking by what they said. he just wants him and the gang to stop being bullied because they're outcasts... like he's not even doing it for himself; he's doing it for everyone.
then lucas said that mike and dustin coming to his big game was really important to him and yet they chose a campaign over him. he saw them exiting the hellfire club looking like they had an amazing time without him, like they didn't even care that he was there or not. he had no one - not a single person - come to support him. lucas' ambition and efforts to experience a better life is lowkey being punished by his friends.
he's also trying his best with max. he's being so concerned, gentle and understanding with her even though she's evidently been brushing him off for months. he won't give up on her. he offers her the ticket, sees her suffering and expresses his worries but doesn't get angry and push her. he's so patient and understanding.
lucas is trying his damn best. he's so underappreciated by his friends. he's trying to better himself whilst helping all of them and he deserves better.
Turns out I am in fact very predictable and I do have a type 💀
Attn: People With Cervixes!
When was your last Pap smear?
Because I am tired of seeing young people (think 40 year olds!) die horribly of an almost completely preventable disease, and I haven't seen the obligatory Tumblr PSA about it, so I'm making my own.
1. CERVICAL CANCER IS REALLY BAD
Cancers that have a good prognosis are usually cancers that can be caught early--like skin cancer, which is easily seen, and therefore usually treated very early. Cervical cancer does not give you symptoms until you have very advanced disease, which means unless someone is regularly testing your cervix, you will likely not be diagnosed early. More than half of people diagnosed with cervical cancer present with advanced disease. 75% of them will be dead within 5 years. For comparison, when caught in the earliest stage, there is a 90% 5 year survival rate. Treatment for those diagnosed is chemo and radiation, and believe me, those are not fun. If you do happen to be in the lucky 25% of survivors, if your cancer comes back, you have an 85% chance of dying within a year. Also! We think of cancer as something that happens to old people, but the average age of diagnosis for cervical cancer is 50.
2. WHO GETS CERVICAL CANCER?
Cervical cancer used to be the most common cause of cancer-related death in women in America, but at this point it's basically a disease of People Without Pap Smears--developing countries, immigrants, low socioeconomic status, BIPOC, rural communities, LGBTQ, etc.
3. HOW DO PAP SMEARS SAVE YOUR LIFE?
A Pap smear is a screening test for two things: HPV, and your cervical cells. HPV is the most common sexually transmitted disease in the world. Literally half of the people in America have some strain of HPV on their body. Most HPV infections go away on their own (in people with healthy immune systems), but some strains are Very Bad, and some people are just Very Unlucky, and the HPV starts causing your cervical cells to turn cancerous. 91% of all cervical cancers are caused by HPV. So a Pap smear looks to see if your have HPV, and if so, is it one of the bad ones? And also, do you have any cancerous cells hanging about in your cervix? And! It takes 10-30 years for HPV to turn those cells into cancer, which means you have a really really long time to catch it before it becomes cancer and cut those pre-cancer cells out!
4. WHAT ABOUT THAT VACCINE?
The thing my dad said I shouldn't get because it might make me a slut. Yes! There is an HPV vaccine! You should get it! It protects you against the nine most common cancer-causing types of HPV. It's recommended starting at age 11, and you can get it up to age 45 now! (It used to be 26, but as of 2020, it's now extended.)You can get it from most primary care doctors, or from Planned Parenthood, CVS, Walgreens, etc. If you get the vaccine you still need Pap smears.
5. I HEARD YOU CAN ONLY GET THE VACCINE IF YOU'RE A VIRGIN
Fake news. While the vaccine does not treat old infections of HPV, it does prevent new ones, so while the benefits are theoretically decreased in those who have already been sexually active, it does not mean you will not benefit from having it!
6. WHO GETS PAP SMEARS?
Everyone with a cervix starting at age 21, until you lose your cervix or until you're 65. You should get them every 3-5 years (depending on your exact age and what test your doctor does).
7. BUT I GOT THE VACCINE
Nice! You still need Pap smears.
8. I HAD ONE AND IT WAS HORRIBLE/I'M SCARED OF THE EXAM
Talk to your doctor about this in advance! Good gynecologists (and other providers) will work with you to minimize discomfort as much as possible. They can use a small speculum and lots of gel, prescribe anti-anxiety medications to take in advance, and some people will even use numbing creams and/or laughing gas.
9. BUT I DON'T HAVE/CAN'T SEE A GYN
Most primary care physicians can do them! So do a lot of urgent care centers!
10. BUT I'M A LESBIAN
HPV can be transmitted through oral/genital contact, hand/genital, and even hand-to-hand-then-genital, so you still need Pap smears.
11. BUT I'M A VIRGIN/ASEXUAL
You still need Pap smears. HPV can be transmitted not just through penetrative sex, but also through oral/genital, hand/genital, and hand-to-hand-then-genital, and also 9% of cervical cancers are not caused by HPV.
12. BUT I'M A TRANSGENDER MAN
If your cervix was removed, then congrats! You do not need Pap smears. Otherwise, unfortunately, you are still at risk for cervical cancer and need to be screened.
13. BUT I'M A TRANSGENDER WOMAN
Neovaginas do not need Pap smears! Congrats! Consider getting the vaccine, though, to prevent spreading HPV to others.
14. BUT I'M A CIS-GENDERED MAN
Congrats! You do not need Pap smears! You should still consider the vaccine though, not only to prevent the spread of HPV to others, but also because HPV causes 50% of all penile cancers as well.
In summary: please please please go get your pap smear. Go get vaccinated. The spread of HPV can be prevented, and cervical cancer can be caught and treated before it even becomes cancer.
DON'T FEAR THE SMEAR
This is great! Also- HPV causes all kinds of other cancers too that you can’t screen for- anal, penile, mouth and throat cancers, so even if you don’t have a cervix, get that vaccine!
Taking a brief pause to just say my heart is with the people of Ukraine right now, and I wish all of you well.
ANGUS CLOUD photographed by Damon Baker
Fez x stirrer! Reader.
Short imagine about Fez being with someone who’s constantly in peoples business.
Let me know if u guys want a Part 2 containing the actual fight.
The recent euphoria episode where maddy finds out about Cassie 🤢 and Nates 🔪 relationship inspired a new idea.
Was originally a headcannon but is now a short imagine.
By stirrer I basically mean someone who spreads rumours and stuff around.
“Sticking your nose in” is basically getting yourself involved in other peoples business.
You stood back as you watched your two best friends go at eachother like wild cats, wondering what would’ve happened if you finally just kept your nose out of it.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn ya”
Fezes breath fanned over your ear, oddly calming your nerves as you watched your life long friends verbally battle it out.
Maybe you had gone to far.
——— hours earlier. ———
For as long as you can remember, you’ve always loved gossip. You were constantly sticking your nose in “where it didn’t belong”. You never truly cared about the things that were said, it was just entertaining to hear about other peoples lives. Well you never cared about it, until something involving your friends was brought up.
Cassie fucked Nate.
Multiple times.
Your eyes widened in shock when you heard the news. Immediately making your way to Fezcos store. That was another thing. You knowing everything, meant Fez knew everything aswell. He didn’t care for half of it. But sometimes you bring some information that’s actually helpful.
Like where the money McKay owed him was spent on.
And where McKay would be next Thursday so Fez could get his cash.
But then other times you’d speak to him for hours about things he didn’t care for.
Like how Kat had apparently lost her virginity at an orgy.
That turned out not to be true, but even if it was, why would he care?
He never told you to shut up though, He loved hearing you talk about things you found entertaining. It was just unfortunate that the entertainment was other peoples lives (No surprise that when you met Elliot, you two became close friends) . Fez was behind the counter when you came running into the shop out of breath.
“Fezzie guess what, you won’t believe it.”
You puffed out to him, hoisting yourself up on the side. Fez stood infront of you and rested his hands on your thighs. Smirking at your red face.
“What’s it now ma”
he drawled out, leaning in for a kiss, which you happily conformed too.
“I’ve literally heard the best… well, maybe not best, but most juiciest piece of info ever.
” You squealed while holding Fezes face between your freshly manicured hands, your acrylics making slight indents in his temples.
He looked at you with pure adoration in his eyes. He thought excitement looked cute on you.
“Is this why you ran in here lookin like you jus ran a marathon”
he chuckled at your expense.
“Yes but that’s not the point… guess what’s been happening”
you shook his head a bit.
“What is it, ma” he finally caved.
“Cassie, yeah, that’s right, Cassie fucking HOWARD has been sleeping with Nate, playboy, NATE JACOBS, you know, the rapey, creepy guy with the dodgy dad who kind of looks lik-”
“Yes, yes, I know who Nate jacobs and Cassie Howard are… what you mean they been sleeping together?”
Fez interrupted your rambling. Your eyes went wide
“like sleeping together, having sex, intercourse, penis insertion, how many ways do you want me to explain this?”
You exclaimed quickly while Fez stood in shock for a minute. He knew Jacobs was a bad person but never thought he’d go this low.
“Shit, ma, what you gonna do.”
Fez questioned you, knowing Maddy was one of your best friends, along with resident backstabber Cassie.
“Well, I’ve got to tell Maddy don’t I”
you said like it was obvious. Fez scrunched his brows.
“Why?”
“Cause otherwise I look like the bitch cause I didn’t tell her even though I knew”
you stated plainly.
“But you ain’t the one fucking her boyfriend”
You sighed at Fezes words, him clearly not understanding the intricacies of having two best friends who were unknowingly about to go to war with eachother.
“No, but I’m just as bad as Cassie because I’m HIDING it from maddy”
you argued. Fez slowly nodded. Seeing your point but not instantly agreeing.
“But it’s not your business anyway, you’re just sticking your nose in it.”
That was it.
“No. This IS my business fez, these are MY friends, and this is MY news, so for once it is MY problem.”
You came back, sassily. Fez put his hands up in mock surrender.
“I’ll back whatever you do Ma, but don’t say I didn’t warn ya”.
He’d always warn you. Knowing you’d do it anyway. He loved you for it.
That’s how you ended up at the party infront of your two best friends arguing infront of what appeared to be the whole school.
——————————-////////////////——————————-
Lmk if you want a part 2 with the showdown between Cassie and Maddys fight.
Soz for ending it on a cliff hanger
Fez x highmaintenance ! Reader
Just a lil head cannon to get me into writing for fez.
High maintenance readers are actually my favourite thing right now, I might make this a character and start a series,
let me know if you’d like that
The moment fez saw you in your pink diamond bodycon cocktail dress, he knew he had to have you.
The moment you saw him in his stripped Ralph Lauren long sleeve Polo, you knew you had to have him.
Some would say it was a match made in heaven, and the ones who don’t say that, are jealous.
The one thing Fez didn’t know, however, when he saw you in that dress, was how much attention you actually needed in order to work like a ‘normal human’.
Every time you wore an outfit, Fez had to see it. God forbid he said he didn’t like it.
When he didn’t like what you were wearing, you’d go on for hours about how the Colours actually do go together well (despite them obviously clashing) and that it was designer so it had to work.
Fez would always just sigh and look at you when you were arguing.
He found you being angry, very hot.
He would always pay for your hair appointments, mainly to shut you up about how pricey they were
Seriously, he was not listening to another minute of you complaining to him about how your hair was dyed a Mahogany brown instead of a Chestnut brown and therefore you shouldn’t have to pay them.
Brown is brown.
He secretly loved paying for them though, just to see you happy.
Always seeing things you like and subtly hinting to him.
He was a drug dealer, he was rolling in it, and you were his loyal girlfriend, you deserved to be treated sometimes.
Sometimes all the time.
Fez gladly treated you though, most of the time without you even asking, he just loved to spoil you.
Sometimes he had to reign you back in though, you got carried away quite often.
“That’s so unfair Fezzie! Nate got maddy that coat from James Bond, why can’t I have it.”
“You don’t even know what James Bond film it’s from, you just know it’s expensive and pretty”
“Guess I’ll just go ask Nate to buy it for me then, since my Boyfriends clearly incapable”
“You go near him and I won’t rail you for a month”
“The coat was ugly anyway, didn’t even want it.”
You’d often give him the silent treatment when he wouldn’t give you what you want.
It’d never last long though.
You needed fez, a lot more then it would seem he needed you.
You were enamoured by him.
His beauty
His loyalty
His heart.
And yes he spoilt you rotten.
But he definitely got it back.
You were devoted to him, hopelessly.
He could snap his fingers and you’d be running out the door towards him.
You’d always patch him up after a fight, that was undoubtedly caused by someone flirting with you.
You’d back him against everything.
Look after ashtray as if you were his mother.
Look after it wash his nan if he couldn’t find the time.
You do anything he asked of you.
And some would call your sort of love dangerous, and hell, it may be.
But to you guys it was right.
It was fez and you against the world. And ain’t no one stopping you.
You both were hopelessly devoted to eachother, no matter how much you could be a spoilt brat.
You were Fezcos spoilt brat, and you both wanted it to stay that way, for as long as the world permitted.
FEZCO | Euphoria – 2.01 “Trying To Get To Heaven Before They Close The Door”
I’d give anything to run my hand over his head and down his cheek
Lucky Penny — Fezco (*18+)
Pairing: Fezco x Original Female Character
Summary: The day Penelope Holden walked into Fezco’s life was one he’d never forget. It was a Tuesday. She was wearing a cute little dress and she was looking to buy some coke. Not the powder, the drink, and she wanted it in a glass bottle, not a plastic one. And she smiled wide and pretty when he ducked into the back of the freezer and procured a six-pack, ‘specially for her.
Anyone who saw the way he looked at her, after that, knew that his ass was hooked.
Warnings: Canon-typical violence, strong language, drug handling/usage, dark themes, past child-abuse, developing relationship, hurt-comfort, anxiety disorder, sexual scenes, d/s undertones.
Authors note: Consider this me doing my duty as a ditsy little fanfic girl and giving the people what they need. A gritty, long, smutty, cute, absolutely fucking insane Fezco fic. With a HEA, obviously. Btw, canon is acknowledged but not strictly followed. Enjoy, sluts x
Status: Chapter One is now posted !!
Excited!!!!
your camera roll if fezco was your boyfriend 💨
I love love him
Deleting the master list and no longer writing for any characters previously mentioned. Will write for Fezco, GVF, various other people, just send in a ask if you want a story and I’ll tell you if I write for that character.
No hate to the other characters I used to write for, just not feelin them anymore <3
l’ incendie
Pairing: Hal x Reader
Summary: You grew up as witness to the atrocities committed under the British crown. Lord Grey is your father and newly pledged councilman of the royal court. Now, England has a new boy king, one who is set on keeping peace in Europe. You are determined to see England burn, even if it means corrupting the lionhearted boy of Eastcheap.
Word count: 10k+
Warnings: explicit smut, strong violence, sacrilegious imagery a blowjob in a chapel lmao
A/N: l’ incendie ; French translation for fire
..so..I watched The King back in November and have had this idea in my brain for the past 2 months now?? It literally consumed me. All throughout my last few weeks of classes and final papers, this is honestly all I could think about, like I’ve been bumping the soundtrack and rewatching the film to plan this, I looked at Lord Grey’s true lineage (he aint Scottish btw I made that up..but he really was related to King Edward lol)…….I’ve just had to get this out of me for so. long. and I’m so happy that I finally have! It feels like this huge weight is gone, but I’ve enjoyed this creative process so much, like it’s so exciting when you hyper-fixate find a new piece of media that you enjoy so much that you dive completely and utterly into everything about it that you can get your hands on, and this is my piece for this!
And my boy Timmy?? Had no fucking clue who this guy was before I saw the film, now I’m writing fics about him a;sdkfjskj but you’re here reading this so. we’re both guilty.
I love story arcs like this where you see a character’s slow descent into corruption and having it revealed that someone was talking in their ear the whole time….i eat that shit right up. Reader’s character is heavily inspired by Lady Macbeth. Using wiles, using sex, etc. Ooh baby. I had fun with this.
gif credit to @michonnegrimes
Keep reading
Read this!!! Everyone should read this piece of ART!!!! It’s honestly one of the best fics I’ve ever read, I need a part 2!
— Does your wife know that the sapphire she is wearing has been cursed by a gypsy? — What did you say? — Nothing on Earth would make me wear it.
— PEAKY BLINDERS S03E02
Gypsy ~ Tommy Shelby.
“Someone Tell me when is it my turn? Don’t I get a dream to myself?”
-In which Tommy constantly ignores his wife, Rose’s wishes and wants, to the point where she can’t take it anymore.
Let me know if I should make a series revolving around Rose and Tommy!! I’d love to but not if people don’t want to know more on them!
-based off of Rose’s turn from Gypsy the Musical.
-not proofread or Edited
-angst?? Ish kinda empowering tbh.
“Oi, Rose, come here!”
For the fifth time in the hour, Rose slammed her book shut. She tensed as she closed her eyes, then proceeded to stand up and make her way back to his office, to undoubtedly be told what to do again.
See there was a time where Tommy and Rose were truly in love and devoted to each other, one always more so then the other, but they were both dedicated to their relationship. They were teenage sweethearts who where torn apart by the war, but found love again once Tommy returned.
Once the business started to bloom, and Tommy could afford things like official offices and Arrow House, things shifted for the relationship. Rose had always been enamoured by Tommys ideas and thoughts about the future, that she had always put herself behind him. She’d spend countless days making sure Tommy had everything he needed to make things run smoothly, and make sure everything went to plan, that she undoubtedly lost some of herself in him. But ever since the move to the country side mansion, tensions had started to rise. With Rose realising just how much of herself she had given to Tommy throughout the years, All the While receiving none of him to make up for it.
She rubbed the bags under her eyes as she climbed the last step, preparing herself for the instructions of her husband. As she opened the door she received faint memories of her ‘past life’ as she’d call it. The life on watery lane where she used to try and sneak into Tommys room in the morning to wake him up by scaring him, which would always end in laughter and a cuddle session on his bed before he’d head off to work. Now, she’d be lucky to get a cuddle at nighttime, let alone in the early morning.
“Yes, Tommy” she poked her head around the door, as if she was trying to hide herself.
“I’ll need you to deliver these letters to my brothers and Johnny Doggs before sundown. Then I need you to make sure the cars are filled. And the maids know what to do In order to look after the house for a few weeks, we’re going to London tomorrow, and we won’t be back for a bit so I want to make sure they know what to do” Tommy told his partner, not even looking at her as she spoke.
Rose stood there, shocked for a minute, before she decided to speak up. “We’re going to London? Or you’re going to London?” She needed clarification.
“We, Rose. I have business down there, and I’ll need you at some point.” Tommy said nonchalantly, not thinking that it would make a difference to her life since she lived through him.
“I can’t Tommy, my cousins are coming back down the west in a week, they’re coming by to see me” Rose argued.
“Well I may need you, so you’ll have to catch up with them after.” Tommy brushed off again.
With Roses recent thoughts on her life, and how much it had changed, she was growing increasingly angry.
“You know I can’t do that, Tommy, because once they leave I won’t know where they are for ages, unless we send Johnny Doggs out again but I doubt you’d want that, considering they’re just my family.” Rose spat the end out. Growing increasingly bitter towards the man who had no regard anymore for anyone but himself and his business.
“You’ll see them again.” Was Tommys plain response.
“You know, I thought maybe we could join them at some point. We haven’t travelled in years. We could go south with them for 6months or so? You know it’s always been my dream to travel all the way across Britain with them” Rose grew tired of arguing.
“No. We have the business, we don’t need Gypsy vardos anymore. This is my dream now, right now.” Was the response. It was the final straw for Rose. Tommy had forgotten their roots. The roots which were embedded in Rose Lee and Tommy Shelby from birth had just been ripped out and suffocated by the man who used to fantasise about working with horses and living in the country. While one of his wishes came true, it wasn’t quite in the same line of which he used to believe it would be.
“Well, go on tell me, when is it my turn? Don't I get a dream for myself? I’m fed up of living behind you, I’m my own person Tommy, and if you can’t respect the fact that we want different things, and that we have to compromise with each other, then this gangworld can get out of my damn way” Rose snapped and unleashed her inner thoughts as she slammed her hands on Tommys desk, finally making him look up and into her eyes of pure fury.
“If it wasn’t for me, then where would you be, miss ‘gypsy’ Rose Lee?” Tommy said venomously. Again questioning her roots as a gypsy.
“I’d be living my fuckin’ dream Tommy, that’s what! I’d be passing west next week with my cousins, and living in a vardo with my husband and 5 children.” Rose expressed her true feelings, and watched the realisation strike Tommys face.
The slow realisation that over all these years, he withheld his wife from the thing she really wanted most, him, and nature. Not all this fancy shit he’s provided her with. Not the mansion or the 40 something bedrooms. Just him and her, and what ever came of it.
Before Tommy could say anything, Rose stormed towards the door, but stopped just before she could leave and faced her husband once more.
“Starting now it’s gonna be my turn! I have all my dreams for myself. From now on, I bat a thousand, Everything’s gonna come up” Rose stated proud.
Rose walked out knowing she had finally told her husband what she thought, and what she was gonna go do now that he knew. He had no say in her dreams anymore. Not until he proved himself worthy enough to be in them. She may well buy herself a vardo, though she admits she won’t travel in it without Tommy holding the reigns. But she may well just park it on the drive to remind him that her option to leave is there continuously, and that she won’t be his lap dog anymore.