[moveslikekeithrichards]

may your next ibuprofen take effect swiftly and noticeably

[gendercents]

intense platonic relationships my fucking beloved

[insomniac-arrest]

when girls like horses we call them ‘horse girls’ and mock them for their bond with giant nightmare leg-finger creatures

but if boys like horses we call them ‘future cowboys’ and ‘rugged outdoors men’

I’m just saying, I’ve met a lot more horse girls than horse boys so when the dystopic breakdown of society hits us, it’s not going to be roving bands of young men on horseback (they don’t know how to ride, they haven’t B O N D ED)

it will be Kelly from elementary school and her band of fifty midwest girls in pink cowgirl boots who have come for your resources

[whitebear-ofthe-watertribe]

Wanna know a fun fact?

When they were filming Lord of the Rings, they needed A LOT of extras to be able to ride horses into battle. They couldn’t find nearly enough men with horses/ riding skills, so they hired just like a crap ton of women who were expert riders, slapped some beards on ‘em, and called it good. The VAST majority of the riders in that film are horse girls. Horse girls win battles.

[lawyerchronicles]

Horse girls win battles.

[kelpforrest]

[pointnclick]

hello male writer. before you is a typewriter. you have one day to write a novella with a woman as the protagonist without describing her breasts. the timer begins now

[wander-in-arda]

Her ass was like a peach, and brother I’m in her pit.

[pointnclick]

well. that one’s on me

[swing-spiderling]

platonic hand-holding is very good and nice and feels happy we should all do it a lot more instead of making it an almost-exclusively romantic thing send post

[smol-paw]

Very relatable.

See a stick, and go bonkers!!

[wickedwonderlandd]

[peasunflower]

I'm in love with involuntary validation of a relationship. My best friend saying "our spot", my brother saying "our cookie recipe" or my mum saying "our song". Like YES I LOVE YOU TOO. I'm so soft for it.

[jackdaw-kraai]

I resent the inevitable consequences the second law of thermodynamics has on my tea and the entropy of the universe. It always happens too damn soon.

[jackdaw-kraai]

The hell do you mean “use a tea light” you’re telling me those things can be used to heat tea???

[jackdaw-kraai]

Fam I’ve been lied to and deceived

[sithbethharmon]

Wait please what are you being told, this has raised many questions about tea lights for me.

[jackdaw-kraai]

Apparently the way you’re supposed to use tea lights is like this

Which no one ever told me is possible or exists and might now become my villain origin story after suffering years of cold tea

[graaaaceeliz]

I'm sorry they're what

[jackdaw-kraai]

They heat tea. They heat tea because they’re tea lights. They’re named that way because they’re literally devices to keep your tea warm and somehow no one has ever told me this and they’re tea lights to heat tea and I might just—[CENSORED]

[jackdaw-kraai]

I’m glad we’re all having a normal one today folks

[tainbocuailnge]

“all powerful entity falls head over heels for the first shit ass mcnobody who dared to call them a bitch to their face” is, perhaps not the absolute best trope but it’s definitely up there I’d say

[1percentcharge]

Mockumentary set in medieval England with no explanation as to why or how a camera crew is there

[moonachilles]

Jane Austen really said ‘I respect the “I can fix him” movement but that’s just not me. He’ll fix himself if knows what’s good for him’ and that’s why her works are still calling the shots today.

[nitewrighter]

Meanwhile Emily Brönte just said “We can make each other worse.” 

[theonlycabbage]

Mary Shelley said, "I can make him

[suns-up-bunshine-deactivated202]

Bitches be like ‘I’m so tired and sleepy’ and then stay up doing hyperfixtation shit for the next 5 hours

[soaringsearingphoenix]

The worst part of human adulthood is being your own zookeeper

[soaringsearingphoenix]

Like... i have to make sure my meals are nutritionally balanced... i have to make sure that the space i occupy is big enough, and interesting enough, and provide enrichment to make up for the lack of novelty... i have to make sure i get exercise... i'm not qualified for this

[incarnate-clay]

Why would you abandon this in the tags? 

[glumshoe]

appreciation post for characters who can say “at your service” in a tone of voice that suggests they will gleefully do anything within their power to cause problems for you on purpose

[lit-in-thy-heart]

i'd make a caesar joke but someone's already taken a stab at it 22 times before

[goweninsane]

Meme idea

Photoshop the goose from untitled goose game into the background of a photo of a place where something bad happens, but it’s a photo of before the bad thing happening, so it’s implied that the goose caused it

[goweninsane]

like this

[tomparkerpetermanspiderholland]

@ask-link-the-hylian-champion

[liquid-geodes]

OH IF I HAD PHOTOSHOP THE TITANIC WOULD BE MY FIRST TARGET

[goweninsane]

Say no more

[liquid-geodes]

You are my personal hero I hope you know this

[cacoughphany]

May I present a humble alternative, where the goose is present during the bad thing happening, example:

[liquid-geodes]

Oh my god

Put him in Pompeii

[cacoughphany]

i hope it’s okay that this one is stylized;; our dear time traveler must stay with the times if they must wreak havoc appropriately

[cacoughphany]

@grimmtales13 @timetravelingcacti

Your wish is my command

[liquid-geodes]

DOES THE GOOSE HAVE A FUCKIN KNIFE TOO!?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[cacoughphany]

this knife has caused me more suffering than any amount of editing will in my life

[liquid-geodes]

I’m sure Julius Caesar felt the same fucking way about the knife

[cacoughphany]

Too soon-

[liquid-geodes]

ITS BEEN OVER 2000 YEARS (according to google)

[spacingout]

Perfect timing for ides of march

[cacoughphany]

how is this post still alive

[liquid-geodes]

Because we hit the one requirement for tumblr fame: Julius Caesar

You know these fucks go ham for the ides of march

[cacoughphany]

over 2000 (according to google) slutty years later and his fanbase still at it huh

[schaduwen-deactivated20220817]

i post for the girls who were lonely and isolated during peak social developmental years