a cost-effective alternative to reality

I've had funkytown stuck in my head since 2006. old enough to rent a car but Can Not Drive

[getanshi]

i need lois lane to be a bad mother for feminism i am so serious it makes me sick i need her to be so ass at it and know she’s bad at it and it’s a whole thing i need her to be a good amazing person and a really bad mom my childfree lois lane who is trapped in a horror story

[ortut]

Julian Hooper 1. Introduction, 2016 2. Inevitable conclusion, 2016 (Acrylic on linen)

[todaysbird]

a rare closeup of a black swift, found throughout north america and small parts of south america. swifts are rarely seen up close; they spend more of their life in air than any other species of bird - they eat, drink, mate and sleep while in flight. they are incapable of perching like other birds; they must cling to vertical surfaces.

(x)

[pleasereadmeok]

Goode Quotes

Matthew Goode talking about his first professional theatre role as Ariel in The Tempest.

…they dyed my hair blue and gave me some sort of chiffon-y outfit which was interesting, particularly when you’re living in a garrison town. So a lot of army men walking around, and me with my blue hair, just trying to get into fights all the time going, “Do you know your hair is shit?” and I’d be like, “Yes, I do.” Which kind of stops them in their tracks: “Oh, all right, then.”

Groucho Reviews

[orcposts]

hey man. i didn't see you at the ambient red lighting and horse store. you ok man?

[deez-no-relation]

This is the kind of post that is baffling until you see the next post and it’s a store with a horse in it but everything’s red. except. there is no second post

[6mayhem]

when the fanartist draws ur ship growing old together but you lowkey envisioned them as dying tragically at 27 after a 5 year substance abuse spiral 😭😭😭

[simplyghosting]

Me, pointing to the mirror: Do NOT become The Joker about this. This isn’t even a Condiment Man situation.

[fictionalfix]

when i heard the necromancer in legacies call kai "quite unlike any monster" he'd seen before, i thought "ehh he's not that special, really they're just referring to all the atrocities", but then i thought about it, and he's got so many weird things going on as a magical creature:

he's not his age (doubly so: 1994 and then vampire)

he's a witch and a vampire (usually impossible except for siphons)

he merged with NOT his twin to become the head of the coven (which as far as we know was unprecedented), which even done regular is still a double-souled, life-linked, magic-pooled thing

he literally went to hell and back (and promptly resumed sinning. the grind never stops)

later took an existence-erasing swan dive

that's just a grab bag of magic weirdness. so yeah, it makes sense that even this ancient and extraordinarily knowledgeable witch would look at him and go "huh, that's weird. what even are you"

[cineopath]

“Everybody wants to make an impression, some mark upon the world. Then you think, you’ve made a mark on the world if you just get through it, and a few people remember your name. Then you’ve left a mark.”

PARIS IS BURNING (1990), Dir. Jennie Livingston.

[punkitt-is-here]

watching an old disney movie

inspired by the comments in this video making me aware of the siamese cat scene in aristocats

[slutdge]

i need to faceplant into that old mans pussy so hard i break my jaw

[slutdge]

sorry guys I got hacked that wasn't me

[slutdge]

i need to make someones grandpa moan like a girl

[slutdge]

hacked again. sorry.

[slutdge]

i need to snort fentanyl out of this old mans bush like a hog rooting around for truffles or perhaps a grub

[slutdge]

no that last one was really me

[fictionalfix]

joining the gender wars, on the side of war

[tetrameryxx]

Fursonas are too hard to decide; it's time for radish plantsona.

[waterandsilver]

if you have to rely on specific scripts or turns of phrase to socialise that's totally fine, but you must NOT reveal them to your friends while slightly drunk. it's like showing how the magic trick works, you can't do it in front of them afterwards

[waterandsilver]

i like dogs a lot but i can never remember the differences between breeds (apart from the few types i've actually owned/interacted with). but i know people looove their dogs and love talking about their dogs, so whenever im talking to a dog owner i'll ask what breed it is, and no matter what breed they say i'll say "oh! i've heard they have a really nice nature :D" and they always go YESSS THEY'RE GREAT and start gushing about their dog and we have a nice conversation and i build social credit with this person. anyway i told my friends about this script a few weeks ago when slightly drunk and now every time we're in public together and a dog goes past they turn to me and ask "does that one have a nice nature?" im in a hell of my own making

[imakuni]

so, they didn’t want players killing kids in the new lego star wars, so they made them immune to friendly fire damage, but they didn’t make them invincible, so now speedrunners are doing extended air combos on them to cross large gaps and climb tall structures. this has been dubbed Child Flight

[digital-meat]

“Sorry kid this will shave 10 minutes off my run”

[fantasmadelaciudad]

i'll be honest thinking about las vegas makes me nauseous.

[fantasmadelaciudad]

like this shouldnt be possible.

[sillyspekter]

Every part of Vegas feels like it's pulled out of fiction and is Incredibly off-putting. It's a major city in the middle of one of the world's most inhospitable deserts

Its famous for recreating other world landmarks on a small scale. It uses this as a trap to bait people into making life ruining decisions. It's motto is essentially "never speak of what happened here". Fucked up

[hinoneko]

[itadoriahh]

a pic from yuuji’s camera roll <3 little harder to look back on after shibuya but he can’t bring himself to delete it (it’d be like losing them all over again)