It's often claimed that villain x heroine shippers ship them only bcs they project onto the female half of the ship and want to live out their fantasies for the male half through her. Most of the times, such claims have a patronizing tone and are meant to undermine the shippers' interpretation of the characters as if people who just enjoy the dynamics that two particular characters share don't exist and as if those who project are any less.
But existing alongside it is another prominent fantasy that is rarely subjected to an unfair level of scrutiny simply because it is more socially acceptable: the fantasy of an unproblematic and good guy - the eternally green flag - who won't give you any drama or trouble and who is non threatening, who offers stability and, most importantly, represents security and safety. And honestly, this is understandable because many women are conditioned since an early age that they are to avoid danger and risks at all costs. Protecting them, at times unintentionally, becomes an excuse to keep them confined within the walls of their household. The promise of safety becomes the cage and comfort its furnishings. Yet, even that cage doesn't make women less vulnerable to harm.
This is why fiction matters because it is one realm where there is room for every kind of fantasy. Here, women can be safe and protected till the end of their days. Simultaneously, they can also partake in dangerous relationships and situations and end up victorious. Yet, it is the latter that gets subjected to derision, judgment and policing while the former is not only left unchecked but is arbitrarily imposed on every story.
There is an expectation placed on fictional female characters across genres, and irrespective of background and personality, to stick to safe and 'vetted' relationships, if they are to have a romance at all. In a dark and messed up dynamic with a male character, their only identity can be that of a victim and everything else must cease to exist. It is also expected from creators and audience to not 'romanticize' the said dynamic. It shackles these characters and strips them off their individuality. It turns them into one homogenous symbol and restricts their potential for complexity. Worse is when real women who write and enjoy such stories are punished in a bid to 'protect' the fictional woman who doesn't need their protection in the first place. It is tiresome.
You cannot protect women by caging their imagination, dictating what kind of stories they can enjoy and shackling the ways they prefer to interpret the said stories.
