nonsensical bullshit

jas ll 16

[palaeolithics]

being torn between the cottagecore aesthetic and the dark academia aesthetic is so annoying like.... do I want to gather daisies in a wildflower meadow or wander around gothic buildings? decorate my room with flowers and patchworks or old books and candles?? wear summer dresses or turtlenecks?? bake bread from scratch or commit a mysterious and inexplicable murder????

[fingergunsandbadpuns]

Getting memes off of Facebook is like learning how to cook by watching bon appetit

[fingergunsandbadpuns]

Ogres have layers and so does cake.

Hi, I'm Guy Fieri and in this TED talk I will explain why I have frosted tips in 2019

[fingergunsandbadpuns]

Oil is hydrophobic because it hates gays

[fingergunsandbadpuns]

The Percy Jackson series solely shaped my sense of humor in the 3rd to 6th grade

[fingergunsandbadpuns]

I didn’t know the blue people could control the elements

[fingergunsandbadpuns]

today I challenged a chihuahua to a staring contest. I stared at him, unblinking, until he backed off. I am truly the superior organism

[kvotheunkvothe]

I have a terrible joke, and I must share it.

So a frog goes in for a loan. He hops up to the desk of Patricia Whack, one of the bank employees, and says, “I want to borrow $500,000.” Patricia says, “Well that’s a lot.” Frog says, “It’s okay, my dad’s Mick Jagger.” “That’s nice,” Patricia answers, “but if you want to borrow that much, the bank needs some kind of collateral.” So the frog takes a ceramic pig out of its little bag and sets it on Patricia’s desk (he looks very smug at this point). He says, “I think this ought to take care of that.” “Uh, let me check with my boss.” So Patricia takes the ceramic pig and goes back to her boss’s office and explains the situation. “And what the hell even is this?” she concludes, pointing to the ceramic pig.

Her boss says, “It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”

[rainymeadows]

THIS MADE ME SCREAM IN RAGE

[aduhm-deactivated20150428]

Group Assigments

[may]

Person: I have an idea

Me: So did Hitler

[fingergunsandbadpuns]

WHAP really fucked up my sense of humor

[fingergunsandbadpuns]

I’m really out here procrastinating and not studying for my chem final tomorrow yike

If y’all have finals, good luck!! :)

[fingergunsandbadpuns]

Its 4pm, I'm kinda feeling hungry, so I make some cup of noodles. The air behind me gets heavy. I hear pants over my shoulder. I hear Rie from Tasty, with her head over my shoulder, peering at my food, breathing out, "MAKE. IT. FANCY."

[tropiyas]

“i am a monument to all your sins” is such a fucking raw line for a villain it’s amazing that it came from halo, a modernish video game, and not some classical text or mythos

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

classic texts have nothing on the crazy people come up with in modern times tbh

[cerastes]

“I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.”

– Joshua Graham, Who Is A Fallout New Vegas NPC, Something Most People Throwing This Quote Around Don’t Realize

[sparkylurkdragon]

“If the world chooses to become my enemy, I will fight like I always have.”

– Shadow the Hedgehog in what is widely considered one of if not the single worst game in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise

[tarradash]

[spookyscaryskeletitties]

this is the source for this text and it haunts me on a regular basis

[onion-souls]

[oblivionsongstress]

“Pick a god and pray.”

-Fredrick from Fire Emblem Awakening

[jedijenkins]

Huh, it’s almost like art isn’t just fine art…

[mysteryseeker]

this is my addition to this ever growing list of raw quotes originating from unexpected sources

[knucklesandgyros]

[genderlich-deactivated20211204]

[silver-tongues-blog]

[lostsometime]

#discovering that the profound is lurking behind the absurd#just waiting for the chance to peek through like sunlight through the clouds#is one of the best things in life once you start to notice it

this is a beautiful way to put it and i’m gonna cry abt it

[headspace-hotel]

Hey this is the most complete list I’ve found

[fingergunsandbadpuns]

Contacts are so fuckin wierd,, why do you have to Blink to see better Im-

Anyways it's so hard to stick you fingers in your eye and get them in or put them out bc you're literally putting your hands in your eyes and you're not supposed to put anything in your eyes

[fingergunsandbadpuns]

My aestheic: being so fucking cryptic no one know how to respond to anything I say,, you ask what day it is? I tell you it's been better than I hoped

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

me: you know that according to schrödinger, anything you put in a box is both dead AND alive

everyone at the funeral: *nervously stares at coffin*

[physticuffs]

schrödinger would have hated this interpretation of his work and i am HERE for it

[fingergunsandbadpuns]

Why is it impossible for my family to go out to dinner without people being problematic and angry: a mystery

[fingergunsandbadpuns]

Why talk to humans in real life when you can post nonsensical bullshit on tumblr