a self serving agent of reality

olivia • posthard wavecore • transfem • not a minor • explicit posts are tagged #nsfw but this blog is casually 18+ • my photography is tagged #art

[lakesbian]

ok

[paper--machete]

it bothers me that you often don't really hear about people having a "favorite album" the way they might have a favorite movie or favorite video game

[paper--machete]

fuck it. reblog this and tell me in the tags what your favorite album is

[cheaphalloweencostume]

im so sick of unnecessary dinner scenes in movies 😡 every fucking movie they just want to titillate you with some food because they think you’re a dumb animal who just wants to see mashed potatoes bouncing. if its an IMPORTANT dinner scene where they explain lore then whatever i understand. but they shove useless meals into every movie these days and its disgusting

[cheaphalloweencostume]

really? you don’t say

[immigrant]

its true though sex scenes are bad and you only are defending them cuz you wont question that men put their fetishes into everything. movies by women literally just dont have sex scenes and if rhey do its not gratuitous and lasts two seconds or its played for comedy . Fuck you and your dinners idc bro

[cheaphalloweencostume]

movies by women literally just dont have sex scenes

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i mean, it’s true! as long as you discount the crazy outliers like Jane Campion, Mary Harron, Sofia Coppola, Andrea Arnold, Julia Ducournau, Claire Denis, Céline Sciamma, Anna Biller, Jennifer Kent, Eliza Hittman, Cheryl Dunye, Dee Rees, Donna Deitch, Joanna Hogg, Rose Glass, Diablo Cody, Emma Seligman, Kitty Green, Halina Reijn, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Charlotte Wells,

[meduseld]

[natalieironside]

One time I was standing around outside with some ppl (idr what we were doing) and I was very very sleepy so I did a big dramatic yawn like a kitty cat.

And this lady came out of the group, very angry, amd shouted at me: "Hey! Cover your fucking mouth when you do that!"

I (1) had never before been told that one ought to cover one's mouth when one yawns and (2) was much too sleepy to conduct discourse on the matter, so I in socratic fashion replied ". . . What?"

And then she said a sentence that I will remember for the rest of my life. She said: "If you yawn without covering your mouth again, I will report you for sexual harassment."

To which I retorted: ". . . What?"

And she narrowed her eyes at me suspicious-like and said "I know what you're trying to do" and she walked away and I never saw her again.

To this day I wonder what indescretion I'm meant to have committed. Do I yawn hornily? Did I put too much cunt in my yawn and so got mistaken for some sort of yawn fetishist? I Do Not Know.

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[orcboxer]

I mean if you're stranded at sea and you do kill a seagull with a golf ball and it lands on the deck and you don't have any water you COULD drink its blood for hydration but you run the risk of losing more water if it makes you too nauseous, and you would get more hydrated just eating the meat. If has bird flu you're fucked tho.

[orcboxer]

of course any sailor could tell you "don't kill a seagull it's bad luck" but personally if a sailor told me that while I hucked another wilson soft at a screaming airborne beach menace I would probably not handle the advice too well. I would most likely not take it with a lot of patience if I'm being fully honest

[lokaror]

Id use my fantastic machine that turns blood into water.

[orcboxer]

it's always the fantastic blood machine with this guy

[despazito]

In 2013 tumblr would ship them

[klapollo]

at planned parenthood and they're playing regular show

[klapollo]

[cutecipher]

"dude if you don't get this abortion benson is gonna fire us"

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

i regret to inform you all that Pharrell has passed away. with his last breath he bade us all Pharewell and gave his wish that we should all be Happy even in his absence

[replicated]

i'm not really into blondes but this is an objectively absurd connection to make

[peachfromcmbyn]

In order to be properly non-pedophilic you have to want to fuck somebody old but not with gray or white hair because that's too close to blonde which as we've established is the hair color of children. So ideally somebody old as fuck but bald. And obviously wanting to have sex with a man is misogynistic so it has to be a woman. And it can't be a white woman because that would be racist and it can't be a woman of color because that would be fetishistic, so ideally a woman with some unnatural skin color, oh let's say, purple. But it can't be an alien, because we don't know anything about alien life cycles so it could be an alien child or an alien that looks like a child. So it has to be an animal from Earth, but obviously one of human level intelligence that can communicate is otherwise that would be bestiality. So an old purple female animal that can speak English. I think the only creature you can be hot for is the Ant Queen from A Bug's Life.

[kholdseid]

[silvaurum]

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

[silvaurum]

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

[silvaurum]

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

[fallout-lou-begas]

Visit Original Link

[snoleopard7]

[naomichimarufuji]

tagged by @jaymz-slutfield to post 10 songs on repeat

1: Glass Veins by Rezz and CABLE

2: Get Down Tonight by Delta Heavy ft Hayley May

3: Aural Psynapse by deadmau5 (talk about a fucking throwback)

4: SICK FUCK by Rezz

5: Science by deadmau5 ft Stevie Appleton

6: Vanisher by Cable

7: RUTHLESS by Deathpact

8: White Flag by Delta Heavy

9: Prowler by Varien

10: Array of Sirens by No Mana

tagging - @rennarita @hngggprettymen @lesbianfujoshis @caranoirs @carotidcarnivore @rymurrsneckbeard and anyone else interested

[hngggprettymen]

tagged by @naomichimarufuji to post 10 songs on repeat

midnight doomer cruise by any two words

chelsea dagger by the fratellis

someone to call my lover by janet jackson

come get her by rae sremmurd

metaphor by the crane wives

punk rock girl by the dead milkmen

no children by the mountain goats

my stompin grounds by stompin tom connors

so anxious by ginuwine

poachers by tyler childers

no pressure tags: @immwalkinghere @wgwgirlie @spressopredestinato @creature-feature-perceiver @sadtrashbabey

[immwalkinghere]

tagged by @hngggprettymen to post 10 songs on repeat:

1. Lighthouse by Noah Kahan (who is surprised)

2. Carry On by Jungle

3. Morning Comes by Ty Myers

4. Creep - New Version by Stone Temple Pilots

5. Anna by Joshua Slone

6. My Iron Lung by Radiohead

7. Mr. Smith by The Kilans

8. Difficult Love by Malcolm Todd

9. Magnolia by Meadowglade

10. Secret Garden by Bruce Springsteen

tags (I LUH YALL) - @hearts4upl @klingklang2 @roughffalo @volpenelli

[klingklang2]

tagged by @immwalkinghere to post 10 songs on repeat:

1. Ode to the Mets by The Strokes

2. Bloodhail by Have A Nice Life

3. Crosshairs by DANGERDOOM

4. Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right by Bob Dylan

5. Father and Son by Yusuf/Cat Stevens

6. Bodysnatchers by Radiohead

7. Operator (That’s Not the Way it Feels) by Jim Croce

8. Aquamarine by Danger Mouse and Black Thought ft. Michael Kiwanuka

9. If You Know You Know by Pusha T

10. Rigamortus by Kendrick Lamar

tags (I LUH YALL TOO): @nicissic @justagirlhockeyfan @bulatigre @fingertip-radiance @demi-demilich @bea-bea-shoegazer

[fingertip-radiance]

I'll do the top 10 from my YouTube music "replay mix" (basically on repeat playlist):

Just Get So by Lucy (Cooper B. Handy)

Beautiful Sad Times by Lucy & DJ Lucas

Like What? by Lil Shine

Josephine by Oso Oso

Saint Simon by The Shins

New Jersey by Blue Deputy

Shoota by Playboi Carti & Uzi

Wickr Man by Bladee

Blue Raspberry by Katy Kirby

Where You've Been Hiding by Oso Oso

tagging @raccoon-sex-dungeon @breadboylovin @lichor

[contemptible-scoundrel]

guess what buddy? the jerk store just called. they didn't have anything to say. just fast, irregular breathing into the mic

[sexhaver]

is there any academic research into what liquids can be safely used as a replacement for bong water? anecdotally i've done some rips from a bong filled with blue Powerade (frat) and it tasted distinctly "blue" so there's definitely some chemicals being imparted on the smoke. ideally you'd be looking for a substance that's cheap, nonreactive with smoke, and has a lower freezing point than water (since the entire point would be getting colder hits without using ice). also anecdotally, i've gotten good results with a saltwater-ice slurry, but it's super tedious to set up, only works on pieces with suitably wide mouths (trying to funnel it through a 14mm opening is a pain), and has a lifespan of about 15 minutes before the ice melts and raises the water level enough that you're making out with Poseidon every rip. there has to be a better way

[fingertip-radiance]

hm I've done:

dr pepper

Orange juice

Mountain dew

but I've always wanted to try a milkshake. Something about sucking crazy style to smoke through a shake sounds horrible and uncomfortable but satisfying

[theehorsepusssy]

[dawn4ngel]

[bbcwhereareyou]

[punchholesinthesky]

[clubpenguindoneright]