GET READY TO MOVE YOUR FINGORS

No 20+, she/they Theme by: windows9800

[beemovieerotica]

[beemovieerotica]

white people please reblog this.

[perkwunos]

The Johnny Appleseed they don’t want you to know about

[bigfuckingcrab]

[catgirl-kaiju]

so this knight came to my wizard's tower one day and asked me to cast a spell that would allow him to take his beloved princess' hand in marriage. pretty typical this kind of wish, and i had just the spell. a combo of "turn person into a royal" and "transform appearance to match romantic ideal", easy. he paid handsomely for it too, so how can i says no?

turns out his princess is a lesbian and nobody knew, so when i cast the spell it made him into a beautiful princess. she asked for a refund right away and begged me (cryin', held me at swordpoint) to turn her back, but i says to her, i says, "The die has already been cast, and your fate is now sealed!" which is my way of sayin' "no refunds".

turns out, bein' a princess weren't so bad for her and she was able to take her sweet and beloved princess' hand in marriage. seems like everything worked out.

but then, surprise of my life, they both show up to my tower and my spell was undone. some dark sorcerer shithead (some kinda sketchy royal adviser who wanted to usurp the throne, a million like 'im) had removed my enchantments and turned our princess back into a knight. but she didn't want to be a man no more and asked me to redo the spell. gladly i changed her back in exchange for fuckin' up this sorcerer shmuck, (could be a threat to my business, you see) gave 'er an enchanted sword an everything. to my shock, the other princess takes the sword and vows to get this guy for me.

now i got all this guy's magic shit and good graces for life with the queens of the land, plus the best advertisement money can't buy. "yes, i am in fact That wizard from the story of the princess knight!" classic.

anyway, all that to say, no i ain't changin' yous back. you'll be mommy's pretty little maid and you'll like it.

[b0nkcreat]

Random stinging pain in my neck 👀

[creepymutelilbugger]

atacked by my #MindWasp

[b0nkcreat]

Can you put those things on a leash please

[creepymutelilbugger]

Yeah. a really Long one so they can still get u tho

[b0nkcreat]

Commentary on: Society

[drops-of-universe]

please dont vape your blueberry ice flavor around my kid. we are raising him on marlboro reds exclusively.

[sforzzz]

copper ii sulfate has no reason to be this blue. this shade of blue looks like it should only be a digital invention

[sufficientlylargen]

The full family of Copper Sulfate chemicals includes:

Copper Sulfate

Copper(II) Sulfate

Copper Sulfate: Vitriol Drift

Copper & Sulfourous

Cop(V)

Copper & Sulfurous VI

Sulfurous Seven

Sulfate of the Copperous

Copper Sulfate Presents: Bäck & Scheele (a spin-off chemical, not considered part of the main sequence)

Cu9

Sulf Ten

Sulfurever

[trattenbach]

Happy Battle Against Richard Nixon's Immortal Soul Saturday

[toskarin]

[aberrantemotion]

Always funny to me when indie devs who already sell games for dirt cheap participate in steam sales with like 90 percent off. Like. "Yeah this game is three dollars but you can have it for one right now." Like your game costs as much as a pack of m&ms and youre selling it for the cost of a pack of m&ms in the 1950s now? Okay

[t4timekeeper]

nothing fucked me up like learning that the vast majority of americans don’t say ‘washroom’ and it’s a term mostly exclusive to canada. ohhhh my god i’ve been accidentally using a canadianism in my writing not realizing it’s a canadianism this whole time

[latedawnsandearlysunsets]

[anphivenas]

[kosmonin]

[dragongirlvenom]

absolutely legendary fucking poster holy shit

[ampervadasz]

Unmute !

[uncahier]

[massachusetts-official]

Official Post of Massachusetts

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

coming up with sexual roleplay scenarios about growing up Upper-Middle Class

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

Hey, it looks like your parents aren't home because they're still at their Well-Paid White Collar Jobs...why not stop playing with that New Videogame Console and come have some real fun with me in your Bedroom You Don't Share With Any Siblings ;)

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

tumblr users can't appreciate the subtle eroticism of the drink fridge

[lustcannibalism]

I went to twink island and you wouldn't guess who was there

[twinkhole-destroyer]

can you give me the coordinates

[lustcannibalism]

[connemor]

idk if i can ever top this piece tbh. i need this on a tshirt.

[evilvillain123456789]

For this game of dodgeball, I will be specifically targeting the gayest and most autistic among you to eliminate. 

[mtfoss]

Okay so normal rules then