The Magic Penguin

17 year old nerdfighter and band geekThey/them or She/her

[fishsticksandpudding]

fools: a midnight snack

me: the meal between dinner and breakfast...Dark Lunch

[staraptor]

this is incredibly good

[hungwy]

*spins my clothes in a wet metal tube then bakes them in a different metal tube to undo the wetness*

[friskafriskito]

in literature this is called defamiliarization so congrats this post is officially a literary masterpiece  

[hungwy]

In my house its called laundry! Thank you!

[aleciamasa]

In class today, Trump was somehow brought up and someone said that Trump was a neo-nazi and my professor was like, “Trump hasn’t ever said he was a neo-nazi” and another kid said, “I was still gay before I started calling myself gay!” and realized what he said and he looked just mortified but it was the greatest response to anything I’ve ever heard

[rosewillow82]

When trump makes you so angry that you ram down the closet door to call out some bs

[quitbeingbanished]

How I came out.

Okay, because I’m nostalgic.

So history lesson, my parents got a divorce because my Dad had an affair with another man. I knew for a bit I was into girls and boys. So when deciding how to come up with the best way to break the news to my mom I did the following.

We were watching Star Wars: Return of the jedi. I paused the VHS at a point I’d practiced for days.

“Mom, I have to tell you something”

“Right now but-”

“It’s important.”

“Alright, make it quick.”

“Mom, I’m…I’m Gay–” (pressed play as…)

[vaguelyethereal]

GLORIOUS

[hentired]

Bada bing

[aorticarchnemesis]

Babadook

[rosedosed]

[harljordan]

we have a saying, my people.             ∟ Wonder Woman, vol 3, by @gailsimone

[lgunity]

gay culture is trying to telepathically communicate to visibly gay people you see in public that you’re one of them

[brago-deactivated20180214]

[brbjellyfishing]

who is she

[left-reminders]

[dankmemebrowser]

Ya but you gotta specify… frost glacier freeze or cool blue you can’t just say “blue” bc there’s more than one blue….

[chief0keefe]

blue and light blue nice try officer

[debthaver-deactivated20170812]

there’s blue cherry too so that doesn’t even work

[shaiza]

No one drinks blue cheery next question

[intergalacticboner]

me: hey mom look what i got

mom: it better not be a frog

me:

[samandriel]

my rooster doesn’t crow when the sun rises, he crows when he hears humans wake up, like you can literally just roll over in bed and he’s like “hoLY SHIT THAT’S A PEOPLE THE HUMAN ISAWAKE AHHH AHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

[samandriel]

the same rooster - god guys he’s so cute - he always lets hens eat treats first and won’t have any treats until they’ve had as much as they want, unless it’s a blueberry. shit, blueberries are like serious fucking business for Pharaoh. he’s a gentleman until the damn blueberries come out and then he don’t play no fuckin games

[samandriel]

in case you were wondering this is him

[samandriel]

It’s been almost a year since I made this post so I guess I should update you guys on Pharaoh!

He’s still a sweetie but with more attitude and will fuck up your shit if he’s grumpy or if you’re wearing shoes with shoelaces. He doesn’t like that. He watches Netflix with me a lot and cries anytime theres explosions or gunshots in a show. He has so many chicken lady friends who he adores and he has fathered 4 chicks. I tried to train him to walk on a leash but he protested by laying down and refusing to move, so we gave that up after a while. He likes to guard me from cars and squirrels, and even plastic bags (which are his worst fear)

[jjtaylor]

Quality rooster

[huffpostqueervoices]

A gay man who happens to look eerily similar to anti-LGBT extremist and Vice President-elect Mike Pence is putting his looks to good use ― by wandering the streets of NYC in short shorts and collecting money to benefit important organizations.

[steadfast-deactivated20191017]

HELL YEAH!

[primadonna-gay]

THE BEST THING IVE SEEN THIS YEAR

[sashayed]

NEW PLAN: trap mike pence in a pit and stealthily replace him with Gay Short Shorts Mike Pence a la Mad-Eye Moody or Mystique in that one xmen movie. then when trump is impeached, Gay Short Shorts Mike Pence will become President Gay Short Shorts Mike Pence. a just and powerful leader. “What happened to you, Mike Pence?” his supporters will cry in 2018 as he instates his new federal holiday, Mandatory Give $20 To Your Gay Neighbor Day. “I had a change of heart,” he will say, as villainous actual Mike Pence struggles against his bonds in a well-appointed Park Slope living room

[lord-kitschener]

D I R E C T. A C T I O N.

[heckifiknowcomics]

[fishsticksandpudding]

where you from?

Ohio

[practise-room]

BeethOVEN BeethSTOVE

MozART MozPHYSICALEDUCATION

RachmaninOFF RachmaninON

SCHUmann SOCKmann

HAYDn SEEKn

MENDelssohn BREAKelssohn

BARtok FAMILYORIENTEDFOODANDREFRESENTESTABLISHMENTtok

COPland ROBBERland

PagaNINI PagaNANNY

ROSSini TJMAXXini

FAURé FROMé

[greatwhiteprivilege]

[firefoxed]

why would a candle thats already lit want to be with a match

[balkanbruiser]

also her being lit is going to eventually melt her and reduce her to nothing match guy is an abusive sadboy who thinks he’s the victim when candlegirl just wants someone who will keep her alive

[greatwhiteprivilege]

im here for this analysis