unfriendly black dyke

micah/mikey//24//they//femme dyke loser

[flipphonefemme]

I LOVE LESBIAN SEX!!!!!!!!

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

[dogpuppy]

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

[moisterpeggingchampion]

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

[dogpuppy]

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

[tokkibean]

its so funny that writing gets harder when you get better at it. back when i sucked i didnt care if i wrote cliches or had bad grammar but now that im better word choice is a matter of life and death and if theres anyway awkward syntax i must. fix it like wow this is not how its supposed to work

[hagnanimous]

Me when I read a book by a famous author that’s a modern classic and everyone says it’s really good and then it’s really good

[moldavite]

when i lived in england i literally thought i was asexual bc i was so grossed out by everyone

this is so fucking funny. real as hell

[sm0y]

[pissvortex]

Mobster, pointing a gun at my head: Any last words kid

Me: I actually like to use women's deodorant because the stuff for men dries out my skin and smells like harsh chemicals

*BANG*

(3 hours later, at Walmart)

(Mobster holding Dove Advance Care in the deodorant aisle)

Hmm...

[pukicho]

Parents are giving their children names no one has ever spoken out loud before

[pukicho]

Was it Human?

[priorwaltress]

all babies are baby gender. you dress them stupid, in pumpkins and teddy bear suits

[spiritof1976]

[doriandemoray]

jimi hendrix dressed as a vampire is an absolute mood.

[dovesick]

various types of pigeons

[flipphonefemme]

the d in dmv stands for dyke btw

[some-pers0n]

TWO FACTOR AUTHORIZATION

light thats not how the book works

MICROSOFT TEAMS

[valtsv]

we need to bring back the phrase "what business is it of yours" in a big way i'm serious

[valtsv]

i know you can just say "none of your business" but phrasing it as a question with a jarringly formal tone is the ideal way to shoot an overfamiliar unwelcome overture dead in its tracks and force the person making it to confront the boundaries they're taking for granted + it would really piss people off which is funny

[valtsv]

&also it allows you to experience the joy of talking like an autistic vampire, which i highly recommend

[cheaphalloweencostume]

this puppy currently being fostered by a rescue i follow makes me feel like. like. i don’t know. she’s a bug

[cheaphalloweencostume]

her name is Primrose. jesus christ man

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i cant fucking do this

[cheaphalloweencostume]

team used napkin and mold spore

[lokaror]

i eat your grandads clothes

[flyingsquidzeez]

Macklemoth