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@floororchid
accidentally clicked on a horrible good omens fanfic very ooc major character death memory loss human au. yeah on amazon prime
How awful! I hope at least it was correctly tagged, so you knew what you were getting into.
And that you didn't give any kudos.
it was tagged happy ending
Rocky's body is a machine that turns one (1) praise into 10,000,000,000 praises 💕💕💕
DUCKS DONT LIKE BREAD
ITS BAD FOR THEM
FEED THEM FROZEN PEAS
IM BEGGING YOU
It’s soooo bad for their digestive systems yall please get seeds or something
It’s soooo bad for their
digestive systems yall please
get seeds or something
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
good omens 3 promo from facebook
The fandom: Man, I wanna see what evil plan the Metatron had to separate Aziraphale and Crowley in the f15. Aziraphale sure walked right into a trap. The Metatron seemed so determined to take him back to Heaven. He is literally the ultimate Big Bad
The Metatron in the finale:
Some people say the only way this could have ended was in tragedy and that’s just absurd. This is a comedy. The apocalypse is a backdrop for hijinks. Plenty of people have come up with their own happy endings without any issues.
I call bullshit that when given a room full of books to be used as the book of life that Aziraphale’s and Crowley’s first thought is to summon mommy when they could just write the world back in themselves.
I call bullshit that when given the opportunity to ask for any type of world they want that they lack the imagination to bring back the old one just without heaven, hell, and the apocalypse having power over humanity or celestial beings from that day forward.
I call bullshit that they would ever choose to destroy each other.
They had every option. The story felt rail roaded.
Honestly I never really liked the idea of Aziraphale and Crowley's first meeting being before the beginning when it was introduced in S2, and the scene in S3 just cemented it.
Like yeah. It's cute. "Look at you, you're gorgeous" is funny. Angel!Crowley being a silly cutie compared to Aziraphale's innocent sweetness is very nice.
But at the same time, I think it's so much more poignant that Aziraphale shielded a complete stranger on the Wall of Eden. He didn't do it because he knew who the angel Crowley was, but because... Aziraphale is fundamentally a good, trusting person. He didn't smite Crowley since he doesn't *want* to smite anyone -- he doesn't actually hate demons even though he should. And Crowley, simultaneously, reassured Aziraphale not because he was remembering the sweet worrier of an angel he met before the Beginning, but because *Crowley* is also a good person.
I like the idea that these two strangers who have no reason to trust each other, who have nothing in common on the face of it, just decide to trust each other anyway, because they can, because they see a kindred goodness and love for humanity in each other right from the start. And I somehow feel like this notion that Aziraphale loved Crowley before he was a demon, or that Crowley knew how notorious Aziraphale was as a hunter during the war, really cheapens that.
Look I do. Genuinely. tend to keep most of my hater opinions pretty close to the vest. Because like okay, you liked the thing I think kinda sucked, I don't need to go ringing your doorbell about it. We can agree on that.
But I feel the sleeper-phrase activation in myself whenever I see a take like "um if you didn't like it it's actually because you didn't understand it!!!!" and i have to like. Take a walk around the block before I morph into Ron Swanson.
when i first saw this image... i knew what i had to do
you know what fucking kills me? all major historical events that happened in our universe (the supposed new universe) also happened in the original universe.
we know that covid happened because the lockdowns were the reason Maggie was behind on rent (+ the whole lockdown audio bit, if you want to treat that as canon). the French Revolution, WW2, the Spanish Inquisition, climate change all happened. Shakespeare, Queen, the Velvet Underground, Shostakovich and David Bowie happened. hell, even on a much smaller-stakes scale, our version of the M25 still looks like Crowley's version.
the universe still worked out the same exact way. what was the point of their sacrifice then? no more cosmic meddling? we've ended up with the same exact thing anyway, so either Heaven and Hell were never that important because it's all humanity's doing (oh hello Book Omens/S1) , or the universe is just so inert that the whole "once you get rid of God you gain free will" thing is just blatantly Not True
"but humanity is now free to exist without the influences from Heaven or Hell!!!" yeah and everything still worked out the same way so ultimately Heaven and Hell never had much of a hand in anything
"but humanity being in control is very Pratchett!!!" yes, but killing the whole universe just to prove that point isn't. the death of 8 billion people was just a device to prove that humanity is capable of both beauty and horror? "sin, young man, is when you treat people like things."
I dunno man, this ending is fucking bleak
YES EXACTLY.
Like ok. The whole POINT was that the humans did all that shit on their own!!! The angels and demons and heaven and hell were ostensibly meant to guide them or tempt them or whatever but IT DIDN'T WORK. All the wars all the suffering and all the joy and love was a product of "people being fundamentally people." THE COSMIC MEDDLING NEVER DID ANYTHING REAL. THE HUMANS DID THAT SHIT ON THEIR OWN!
It would have made SO MUCH more sense for the angels and demons (you know the FOCUS OF THE SHOW) to have been freed from this system that was binding them and to be given their own free will to do whatever they wanted in the universe. Whether that was continuing to watch the humans or fucking off to alpha centauri or whatever.
I thought the whole point of the show was that angels and demons are also fundamentally people. They also deserve a real universe. They are also capable of immense good and evil. They also have free will. The show took these two characters who were kind of a framing device for the book (though they aren't reducible to plot devices in the book either, they certainly don't have as much character depth to them as the show gave them) and told their side of the story. So to erase them from the universe at the end??? Because, what? They're not living beings with their own lives and dimensions??? They're just plot devices in the story of the humans??? Fucking rude!!!
And "the humans being in control of their destinies is very Pratchett" YES! IT IS! This is why he wrote a whole book about how despite the existence of heaven/hell and an ineffable plan and whatever, the humans still control their own destinies!! They always have and they always will!! And that's also why he bothered to create these two characters who, despite not being human and despite being bound by a strict heaven/hell system, also managed to create their own lives and control their own destinies by the end!
god this was so disappointing.
friendly reminder that aziraphale made crowley smile in rome when he realized he was in a foul mood
that he blushed when he described crowley as a wily adversary (keeps me on my toes)
that he smiled when he realized the bentley was back without a scratch after having blown up
that he refused crowley a suicide pill
that he kept an eye on crowley for 26 years after 1941, then sought him out and gave him the holy water so that he didn't have to get it himself. but i can't have you risking your life. not even for something dangerous. if we must quote it then at least let's quote it right.
that he went to hell for crowley and made sure they wouldn't bother him anymore
that he only ever cared about crowley not being destroyed
that no way aziraphale didn't check on crowley in three years
friendly reminder that aziraphale would never give up crowley without a fight, not even if crowley asked
I suspended so so much disbelief for S2, and then S3 came, and all of that disbelief came crashing back.
THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT STORY
All I Ever Wanted
In my heart, Crowley and Aziraphale are sitting in that lovely yet slightly jaded bench in St. James's Park.
Crowley is marveling at the sight before him, a mother duck carefully guding her ducklings whom are following close behind. The mother puts herself infront of her children, but she cannot help constantly looking back at her own creations. They are flowing aimlessly in the vast body of water. One with nature. Basking in what it really means to just live.
Aziraphale on the other hand, has his eyes trained on another wonder of the world.
A young girl sits on a nearby bench, though she carries herself as if life has placed burdens upon her far heavier than her years should allow. There's another girl next to her, it's a friend, prehaps? She wraps her arms around the troubled one and holds her close, offering the comfort of her presence while the other feels whatever she needs to feel.
The wind blows softly, stirring loose strands of hair and carrying with it the distant sounds of laughter, birdsong, and the gentle lapping of water against the shore. Neither girl seems to notice. For this brief moment, the rest of the world has faded into the background.
Aziraphale sighs softly, "Extraordinary, isn't it?"
Crowley follows his gaze, his sunglasses reflecting the image of the two girls sitting together.
"Yeah," he says quietly, a softness creeping into his voice. "Funny thing is, they probably don't even realize they're doing it."
"Doing what?"
Crowley looks back toward the lake, where the mother duck nudges a wandering duckling back toward the group, "Saving each other."
The angel smiles softly at that, scotting closer to Crowley.
"Well, it's a beautiful sight to see indeed," he let's out a breath he has been holding for far too long, "but it wouldn't be as beautiful without you by my side."
Crowley sits with those words quietly. He slowly puts an arm around the angel.
"I mean, ducks are nice and all. Tiny feathery weirdos." He gestures vaguely toward the lake, "But I've seen ducks before."
Aziraphale looks at him, utterly perplexed.
"My dear, what on Earth are you talking about?"
Crowley snorts.
"I'm getting there."
"Getting where?"
"Angel."
"No, really, you've lost me."
Crowley shakes his head fondly before looking back out at the lake.
"I've seen sunsets. Meteor showers. Nebulas. Mountains. Oceans." He glances at him, "The thing that makes them worth remembering is having someone to turn to afterward."
Aziraphale's breath catches.
Crowley shrugs, as though he hasn't just said something monumental.
"And I have to say..." A small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, "If there's one thing I could spend an eternity marveling at, it's you."
Aziraphale is stunned to silence. Not an uncomforble one, the opposite actually. The kind of silence that is at art galleries, where people gaze at something beautiful and find that words would only diminish it.
Crowley shifts slightly under the angel's gaze.
"Oh, don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Look at me like that."
Aziraphale's smile is small and impossibly fond.
"How am I looking at you?"
Crowley opens his mouth, then closes it again. Because he doesn't have a name for it.
Above them, the branches sway gently in the afternoon light. Around them, life continues in all its strange, fragile beauty.
A child happily screams somewhere in the distance, the sound carrying across the park as they race through the grass.
The girl who had been crying earlier is no longer hiding behind her hands. She sits a little straighter now, a small smile breaking through as her friend says something that sends them both into laughter. Whatever burden she had been carrying has not vanished, but for the moment, she does not carry it alone.
The ducklings continue to swim along. The breeze carries the scent of grass and warm earth.
It's all terribly ordinary, really. And yet, these were the very things Aziraphale and Crowley had spent six thousand years fighting for.
Aziraphale leans into Crowley, his face only inches away.
"I love you so," he breathes. Then, he closes the distance between them.
The kiss is soft, tender.
Crowley smiles against it, one hand coming up to cup Aziraphale's cheek. He leans in without hesitation, knowing exactly where he belongs.
The world continues to turn around them. You can hear faint noise in the background. Laughs shared. The rustling of leaves. Somewhere nearby, a dog barks, and a child answers with a delighted squeal.
Then, without warning, a raindrop lands on Crowley's nose.
He blinks.
A second follows, splashing against Aziraphale's coat.
Then a third.
The sky opens.
Within seconds, rain begins to pour over the park, sending people running for cover and prompting a chorus of surprised laughter from every direction.
The girls on the bench scramble to gather their things, one of them grabbing the other's hand as they attempt to dash toward the nearest shelter.
The ducklings, meanwhile, seem entirely unbothered by the development.
Crowley looks up at the sky.
"Really?"
The rain answers by becoming even heavier.
Beside him, Aziraphale laughs.
"Well," he says, beaming, "I suppose that's one way to cool off a warm afternoon."
Crowley stares at him.
"Angel."
"Yes?"
"We are getting soaked."
"I had noticed."
"And you're smiling."
"Of course I am."
Crowley shakes his head, utterly helpless against his own fondness.
"I think this is a sign to head back to our bookshop. Warm up with some hot cocoa before dining at the Ritz?"
Aziraphale's eyes brighten at the sound of that.
Before answering, his gaze drifts across the park.
The two girls from earlier are huddled together beneath a tree, trying and failing to shield themselves from the rain. They're laughing now, but neither seems particularly successful at staying dry.
With a subtle flick of his fingers, Aziraphale performs a small miracle.
A large umbrella suddenly appears over their heads.
The girls blink in surprise.
One looks up at the umbrella.
The other looks around in confusion.
Then, deciding not to question their good fortune, they scoot closer together beneath it and continue talking.
Aziraphale watches them for a moment, satisfied.
Only then does he turn back to Crowley.
"That sounds lovely," he says warmly. "Though I think perhaps a pot of cocoa. One mug hardly seems sufficient."
Crowley snorts.
"Naturally."
"And perhaps a few pastries?"
"Of course."
"And then the Ritz."
"Obviously."
The rain continues to fall around them, drumming softly against the lake. the water nurturing the trees around them.
Crowley rises from the bench and offers his hand, "Come on, angel."
Aziraphale takes it without hesitation.
Together, they start toward the bookshop, leaving behind the ducks, the lake, and the rain-soaked park.
Behind them, the girls sit beneath their mysterious umbrella, laughing.
Ahead of them waits a warm bookshop, hot cocoa, and a dinner neither of them will ever admit they had been planning all along.
The afternoon had been beautiful. The evening promised to be even better. And tomorrow would be just as lovely.
Ordinary days.
The sort of days that, when strung together, become a life.
As they disappeared down the rain-slicked street, hand in hand, neither Heaven nor Hell watched from above, no prophecies awaited them.
Just tomorrow. And the world. The same world they had chosen, time and time again.
A world of shifting weather, of second chances. A world where ducklings finding their way home. A world were people hold each other when life became too heavy to bear alone. A world where tears give way to laughter, where old wounds heal slowly, and where kindness survives despite everything.
.......
The Aziraphale and Crowley I know would've never given up on humanity, or on the humanity that lives within them. Crowley would fight for Aziraphale the same way Aziraphale would fight for Crowley.
The answer to a broken world is not to abandon it, but to keep caring for it. That is the Aziraphale and Crowley I fell in love with, and the ones I will always carry with me.
To me, Good Omens is about finding the courage to build out a life your heart wants, even when the people in power and systems try to decide who you get to be.
Look I do. Genuinely. tend to keep most of my hater opinions pretty close to the vest. Because like okay, you liked the thing I think kinda sucked, I don't need to go ringing your doorbell about it. We can agree on that.
But I feel the sleeper-phrase activation in myself whenever I see a take like "um if you didn't like it it's actually because you didn't understand it!!!!" and i have to like. Take a walk around the block before I morph into Ron Swanson.
project hail mary is a touching and poignant film that leaves you asking questions about humanity like, "wow what if all mainstream media was genuinely good" and "what if book adaptions actually gave a shit about the book in question" and "what if studios hired actors that could actually act, and then let them get a lil wacky with it"
#Don’t forget ‘what if puppetry was treated as a serious artform’ (via @specialagentartemis)
it's all very Great Man, isn't it? Crowley is our hero, the Best Of Us and the only angel who ever questioned God and why the world works as it does, the only one who thought about art and science, our sacrificial lamb (while Jesus himself and the people he was trying to help are forgotten).
And I don't disagree that Crowley was a good angel, but...the ONLY ONE who wanted to make better art?
What about Muriel reading their detective novels over cuppertea? Gabriel making the karaoke machine play the same song everyday just because Beelzebub liked it. The metatron claiming to enjoy food in his time. TO SAY NOTHING ABOUT AZIRAPHALE HIMSELF, who was constantly questioning and enjoying and wanting to improve the world, but apparently that's all just Crowley's influence, all so God can watch them like a dating show?
Every time they actually give Earth a real chance, angels and demons both fall in love with it, and prove that they can change their behavior for the better. But no, Crowley is the only one who ever cared or mattered or had any potential, apparently. Instead of just..stopping angels and demons from abusing their power against humans...their entire identities are taken away to make them conform. It's like the opposite of the good place.
What's the point of it all?