okay but *puts tinfoil hat on*
☑️- needs to be big BIG enough to warrant a warning-> bars most charity events, normal new merch drops, most collabs... sorry Inflatable couch use.
☑️- needs to be taking up their time during months (while being announced soon) -> bars a finished book, a single-drop video (a la TBV), a movie/video-game (nobody suggested the later but *just in case*)
☑️- needs to be something they have been able to plan in 2026 while busy, without us noticing >> implying that if it's long, it's likely not finished/ ready. --> adopting? (/hjk) - also not a multi-hour long video series or anything that required regular travel. Also bars anything musical/ super technical because if Phil had been doing anything musical/ artsy it would have bled into the phod (and by *it* I mean bragging or complaining).
☑️- required photoshoot -> phaternirty photoshoot? The phetus is back as an option :p
☑️- aesthetics are still relevant to the HL era/ podcast. The color coding is going strong, which suggests this isn't a new era -> discards phivorce / back-from-the-dead-to-TIT-type rebranding.
☑️needs to not go against their morals/ public personas' boundaries -> for ppl saying dog or child announcement fr as if they'd tell us or monetize it? - I hope you guys are joking with that theory and I'm too autistic to tell.
Theories still plausible (pls add yours):
New clothing/ niche store (weird given already well stablished merch BUT we did know there was normal merch in development in the Spring phatreon stream + explains photoshoot) ala theorywear. Could be a collab with a brand (doubt because unnecessary)/ Could be food/ items instead of clothes.
New creative series/ project ala Super Amazing Project or Dan is Not Okay but Bigger and Better (explains why it takes months, wanting to do more in youtube, maybe not rsvp levels of big though?) - would likely mean only first chapter or two are ready.
Non-tour tour- Maybe HL podcast live? Could work easily without them having to do choreography and scripts + easy way to meet us in the way they find meaningful... but this doesn't seem to be their style + I get anxiety just from imagining their POV with that.
PROPER TOUR - likely shorter/ less close to being done than past tours because *when* would they have even gotten time to plan this?! Does require a photoshoot and does take months (~8 before it's done if it's worldwide + doesn't start in summer) - Feels too soon since TIT + not as foreshadowed but heyyy I'd be overjoyed.
Please reblog or comment this with all your theories. It's 2am for me but I need someone to give me counterarguments or add crack ideas.
Super interested on any thoughts on my reasoning by phannie elders like @danrifics @ahappydnp or @pseudophan but sorry to bother you and dw if not!