In honor of the month of pride I’d like to talk about for the first time my sexuality
I am Asexual
Every so often I’ll see posts railing on others on how Asexuality shouldn’t or should be included in Pride Month or the LGBTQ+ Community. But I’m not going to talk about that. What I’m going to talk about is my perception on what Asexuality is and what it means to me, as well as how I finally decided that I was Asexual.
I’m sure most of you know what the official definition of Asexuality is, its often brought up in the discourse arguments I mentioned before.
“Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity”
This was a very confusing all be it comforting definition for me. I’ve not been a very sexual person my whole life. Senior year of high school I went to an OBGYN to get birth control for my terrible periods and when asked if I was sexually active or have experimented on my own I said no. And my mom, I remember quite clearly feeling a bit confused, seemed shocked at the notion. It wasn’t even until much much later in life that I even stumbled across the term asexual.
Often when I would look up media or posts regarding Asexuality and the people involved seemed completely devoid of sexual desires as well as even sex repulsed. Many even identifying as Aromantic and everything sort of being jumbled together. I didn’t fit into that. Because of it I was identifying as Grey-A because there would be occasions in which I would feel a little arousal, usually around my cycle when my hormones are already out of control.
But recently I decided to focus on one particular part of that definition. “Lack of sexual attraction to others” I can say with great certainty that I have never looked upon anyone and thought about having sex with them. Not once have I found a person so attractive that I wondered for even a moment what it was like to sleep with them. I have never desired a person in that way. My first and only thoughts have been of a Romantic nature. What it would be like to kiss or hold hands, how our life would be like together, quiet cuddles and the like. But never sex.
And that’s really helped me come to terms with what I feel inside, sex in itself doesn’t excite me, the idea of it sorta puts me off. But I’m not repulsed by the idea, I’d probably give it a try if I had a partner who really wanted it but would respect my boundaries if I wanted to stop.
The thing with Asexuality is I feel that people get hung up on the idea of someone not feeling any sexual desires or arousal and I think that what it really needs to be treated like any other sexual identity. The Arousal of a person in regards to another person or persons. Homosexuality the arousal of an individual in regards to another person or persons of the same gender only. Pansexualty the arousal of an individual in regards to any and every possible spectrum of gender. Asexaul the lack of arousal in an individual in regards to another person or persons.
There is a lot of confusing media in regards to asexuality, and I think part of it is those with a sexuality can sometimes have a hard time understanding the general lack thereof. Its not a bad thing. Just like I’ll never really understand what its like to be sexually attracted to someone. Its just a thing.
I’m Asexual, I’ve never been sexually attracted to a person. And I’m okay with this.
Happy Pride.
Found this in my drafts so I thought I’d repost it since I still feel the same
