We're in the Basketball Timeline

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[eameschairs]

good morning gracerocky nation

[redarmyscreaming]

Hertella Auto Kaffeemachine. This Dash-Mounted Coffee Maker Is Likely the Rarest Volkswagen Accessory.

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

Getting into a KarAkciddent and splashing 3 cups of FükkenScälden all over myself

[makaira-art]

a love like war

[thattrashbinoverthere]

Flambert. I love them.❤️‍🔥🩵

[homunculus-argument]

There's this one specific interaction on reddit that I wouldn't call "infamous" but I also know that everyone who knows it knows it by the punchline, so in order to not ruin it for the ones who haven't, I'm just going to talk all of you through it as I'm saying this.

The beauty of it is that you could place that exact same dialogue into any time and place in human history and it would make just as much sense, you could have it as a conversation between sailors in a 1600s ship, a group of bronze-age warriors cleaning their weapons, stone age hunters walking home from a hunt, or a bunch of 21st century redditors on the internet, and it would hit just as splendidly.

There was this conversation about if you could have sex with any specific person from any time through human history, which one would you choose? Famous legendary lovers were brought up, queens, emperors and such were popular, might as well fuck Rasputin just to see what the hype was all about, the kind of answers one would expect.

Then some guy said he would choose his own late wife. He went on to talk about how brutal it is, that you might find the love of your life, but there's no promise that this life couldn't be suddenly cut short. That his body aches for hers and how there isn't much he wouldn't do for one more opportunity to make love to her one last time.

Now, I'd like you to imagine a pause in the conversation. A solemn, contemplative moment of silence, with several of the people present nodding in agreement that this is indeed the finest answer - it wasn't a competition, but there's no doing better than that.

And then someone breaks this solemn silence and says:

"I also choose this guy's dead wife."

[enby-denby]

For the sake of letting the full story be known: you have to imagine that after another moment of horrified silence, Dead Wife giy bursts out laughing and says, with a bittersweet smile "yeah, that was her sense of humor..."

[homunculus-argument]

Oh fuck that's right I neglected the most important part of this.

[bronzeplates]

can you tell i love complex duo poses? can you? im certain you can't.

anyway, stuff from the fic

[tinyplanetss]

it's really cute how grace says "rocky couldn't have made a mistake! he's the most talented engineer on his whole planet!" ryland you do not know that. it's very sweet of you but you, very notably, have only met one eridian and it is your best friend rocky. you are very biased

[toskarin]

ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal

[theprofessional-amateur]

Me when I contact IT and tell them yes I restarted and followed any instructions I could but computer still angry and IT says they are escalating this because it is an actual issue: I am getting a good grade in service desk ticket. Something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

Link to post

[memento-meliora]

forced to say “it’s okay!” Instead of throwing a fucking chair at their head

[wateredwizard]

Why does your post have lingerie on

[memento-meliora]

God forbid a bitch be feeling herself while mentally ill in this economy 😢

[turing-tested]

IVE BEEN HANGING OUT WITH MY FRIEND FOR LIKE A YEAR NOW AND IT TURNS OUT WE KNEW EACH OTHER AND WERE FRIENDS WITH EACH OTHER PRETRANSITION

[turing-tested]

we we’re talking about how we had a mutual friend and how that was so wild and then they mentioned another friend i knew and i was like “yeah i played soccer with them both in the park” and my friend was like “wait does your deadname start with a C” and it turns out she was also there and we just had no idea who each other was this entire time till now

[asymbina]

This is fucking wild

[lesbianredpanda]

[professorsparklepants]

This is half a plot for a modern Shakespearean comedy of errors.

[mananabuffins]

Romcom where two people meet cute and bond over how awful their exes were and plan elaborate revenge schemes but it turns out they both transitioned and are helping to plan revenge plots against themselves

[nudityandnerdery]

From the media that brought you "Millennials are killing [insert industry here]" articles for years and years and years, now we have....

"Hey, Gen Z, we're gonna relabel vacations into something else now and tell you how you really should be wary of taking vacation because it might impact your financial future."

This is a goddamn dystopia, we know this, right?

[rabid-transcendentalist]

[winteriine]

genuinely this reminds me of that one tumblr post about that cult indoctrination technique where they make unreasonable requests of you, and when you refuse, suddenly it’s YOUR fault for having a sense of self-care. it’s YOUR lack of commitment, YOUR lack of dedication — not the insane request of a company that does not actually care about you.

the idea that failure is an individual failing and not the oppressions of a broken system.

this is just flat-out manipulation. it really always has been, but this is the form it’s taking nowadays. crazy

[rohirric-hunter]

"We're gonna achieve immortality by turning ourselves into machines" buddy I want you to find yourself a 15 year old laptop and try to run a 10 year old piece of software on it please. Connect to the internet, if you can, and attempt to log into any of your online accounts

[spiritbladed]

something something extremely sexy when magic users resort to physical violence. yeah i have the power of god and anime on my side but i also have THESE HANDS. i cast Punch You In The Face. i take my magic staff through which i channel the vast energies of the elements and the cosmos and i cast Severe Concussion And Skull Fracture. casting time for xenoglossy too long, chose the quicker route of Stab You In The Throat.

[aletheyass]

is it so bad to want to kill everyone at all times

[aletheyass]

went on a walk smelled the pine trees. im fine now

[aletheyass]

crave blood again

[retrodynamics]

Honestly if you say or do something strange, an employee probably WILL tell all their coworkers about it all day, however they’ll basically never remember it was you specifically and instead just a faceless “customer” amalgamation of every time someone said something to them. Plus you’re giving them enrichment and something to mutually bond over. So really you’re doing an important service by being a little awkward.

[thewebcomicsreview]

I wish I had more to say about Nancy than “it’s good”, but….it’s good.