ok so this is a collapsing blog and there is no set schedule.. at all.. so like ill get things out pretty quick but only if i have motivation. asks will be answered quite fast or not at all! here are some things you need to know.
hello!! my name is mod fog, or just foggy, if you please!
I like; the cold, salty foods, rainstorms, and (you'll never believe this) writing!!
I dislike; conflicts :/
this blog is written by a minor! please keep that in mind when interacting with me!
I am a FREAK!!! I am a WEIRDO!! my interests are nonstandard!! I like controversial shit!!!
ghost-centered blog! lots of spooky forests and ghosts and little sprite themes.
rot: a oneshot.
tale: a story of multiple parts.
thought: headcanons.
argument: angst.
cuddles: fluff.
bulletin: a notice or announcement
It is important to note that if you just send in a ramble (I.E, 'thinking about... [thoughts]', I'll probably just write whatever comes to mind about this! If you want something specific, please state that this is a request and that you want one of the above. if you aren't picky, great! you can omit the specifics (a rot, thought, argument, etc) I will not write tales for requests if specifically requested, unless I myself want to do so.
sometimes i forget to tag my works... pls lmk if im missing my signature :(
what I write for:
FNAF: SB, Undertale, Deltarune, Genshin Impact, HSR, BNHA, SPOP, RE8, SDV Bachelorettes, TADC, KNY, Degrees of Lewdity [DOL] (female LIs only), Gushing Over Magical Girls (-neroalice), Heathers. If I know the fandom, I might accept the request. no promises.
what I refuse to write:
Child x Readers or Child!Reader x Character unless specified as platonic. Also. No SDV Bachelors I am THE man hating lesbian and flat out cannot find them engaging.
please keep in mind that while, yes, i am open to writing smut, i'd prefer it to be for fandoms such as DOL or RE8, which are already mature fandoms. Genshin is pushing it. All of my more mature works will be tagged with a smut tag.
short system:
posted whenever the hell I want :) usually around 200-300 words, more or less. consists mostly of drabbles, angst, and anything in between! not strictly any fandom.
other things:
Requests are currently open. Send in a request for stuff!!
Asks are currently open. Ask me anything! Within reason!!
no works are beta'd
psst!! anons are welcome!! you can even do shit like uhmm specific anons!! gimme an emoji and it will then be you!!
masterlist coming maybe ? idk ?
If you send in a request for a male or male aligned character, please note that your request being accepted is 50/50 and depends on the character. exceptions apply. (a good way to tell is if you've seen me write for them before! i.e, venti!)
So, Gushing Over Magical Girls Is The Best Thing To Happen to Magical Girls
Gushing Over Magical Girls get this bad rep. For all the wrong reasons. Iāve seen it be called an insult to Magical Girls, Iāve seen it be called āgooner baitā a term I absolutely despise but thatās a thing for another day. Iāve seen it insulted for everything and anything under the sun.
I first got acquainted with it when I was scrolling through Twitter and I saw someone complain about the PV. However, as an avid Magical Girl Fan, I wasnāt disgusted. I was intrigued.
I decided to read the manga, and oh god.
This is one of the best things Iāve read.
The story follows Utena, a shy girl that loves Magical Girls, tricked to become the evil general that will defeat the Magical Girl team āTres Magiaā.
And itās a delight.
I binged all the episodes available to me in the manga, and had fun in each and every chapter.
The same, however, couldnāt be said by half the people who watched the anime. And I was extremely baffled. As a queer woman, this was the first time in my life, in which I had seen something so deliberately catered towards me. I saw tell-tale signs of someone who genuinely admires the genre, and is simply using it as an outlet for exploring deeper and more interesting topics that a SFW version of it would not be able to.
Yet, I turn around and I see people calling it the most horrendous stuff, and accusing everyone who likes it of being monsters or men.
Genuinely, Iāve had enough.
Gushing Over Magical Girl is not the Devil. In fact, I think itās the best thing to come donāt even like Magical Girls AND IT SHOWS.
PART 1: āMagical girls are for little girls!ā.
The first criticism youāll see aimed at āGushing over Magical girlā is the amount of sexually charged content it has. And it is true. It borders on straight up porn in many instances and it just gets wilder as you go on. By chapter 30, weāre way past PantyShots. Like, Iāve seen some of these girlsā vaginas, and Iām not joking.
Personally, I donāt see anything wrong with it, but thereās people who might disagree.
āMagical Girls are for little girlsā some people say āand youāre corrupting it!ā
Which genuinely makes me laugh.
This is because this type of argument could only be done by someone with no real concept of Magical Girls aside from maybe Sailor Moon and Sakura Card Captor.
out of the Magical Girl genre in a WHILE (Ignoring Precure, because they just gave us a magical boy and thatās my win of the decade).
People are just, you know, stupid. And reactionary. Enough that they see a boob and lose their minds like a Karen at a Christmas Eve Mall.
My point is, I love this manga. And Iām willing to risk my reputation to defend it. Cause genuinely, half the people who are clutching their pearls over this show - Magical Girl Anime havenāt always been PG, or aimed at girls.
Cutie Honey is a great example. Itās one of the most famous Magical Girl Anime you will find - and itās a shonen. With the protagonist, Honey, being constantly naked, groped, put in suggestive situations and have outfits that show her cleavage.
And itās one of the most famous, most popular takes on Magical Girl there is. Yet, I never see any amount of outrage towards it. (Part of me wonders if itās because the fan service is aimed at men, rather than involving yuri).
Thereās also Lyrical Nanoha, one of the most popular serial franchises there is. It spans several seasons and spinoffs, and itās beloved by many.
And itās aimed at older men. Yes, itās a Seinen.
In fact, its origins are far from PG. Itās actually a Spin-off of an erotic game named āTriangle Heartā. It was most definitely not created with little girls in mind, and themes it tackles reflect as much.
Thereās Fate/kaleid liner Prisma Illya too, a spinoff of the Fate/Stay Night VN, very obviously aimed at older men, itās a Seinen. It has a lot of fanservice and scenes where the characters are half naked.
Day Break Illusion is also a Shonen.
And as much as I adora Madoka - Iāve been stating for years now that it isnāt a show meant for little girls. You could argue itās for everyone, regardless of gender, whoās a little older. But it most definitely wasnāt for little girls.
So, no. This was never an āonly girlsā club. Trying to paint it as such, is not only wrong but ignorant.
Magical Girl shows can be for anyone. Men, boys, girls, women and I find it infantilizing to consider it āonly for little girlsā.
No one says āsuper heroes are ONLY for little boysā
Well, some do. But theyāre, you know, bigots. Who donāt want girls playing or adults o have fun.
So no, Gushing Over Magical Girls being a sexually charged anime in the Seinen category isnāt ācorrupting the genreā. In fact, I would argue itās doing exactly what the genre has done in the OVA shadows for a while.
Not to mention, many people have screamed from the rooftop how they want āmore mature Magical Girl showsā referring to the success of Madoka. But as soon as an actually mature take on Magical Girls shows up, tackling issues of sexuality and love, you all donāt want it anymore.
(We all know why, though. Americans, and western culture in general, considers mature themes, only that which involves violence. Anything close to discussing issues of sex is no longer āmatureā but āPornographicā and deserving of being shoved into a corner. With all queer themes, gender studies, and any nuance that could be had regarding these issues).
And speaking of sexually charged, have you watched so called āwholesomeā magical girls? Theyāre still very much sexy. Not in the āon the noseā ecchi way Seinen and Shonen are - but they still are.
Youāll find transformations were the girls are naked, zoom in to their breasts, youāll have panty shots every now and then. Even themes of growing up, having crushes, and innuendos about sex. Inappropriate relationships, taboo romance, and the likes.
Sakura had Rita and a professorās relationship (mutual in the manga), Sailor Moon had Chibiusa and Elliotās romance, Sugar Sugar Rune even having an element for ālustā and other different types of love, and letās not forget Mermaid Melody which has several instances of the girls naked, in compromising positions with other men. And Iām pretty sure Tokyo Mew Mew likely opened a whole bunch of doors for girls to be into CNC.
This is, by the way, normal.
Completely so.
These stories often talk about the girlhood experience. And girls and teenage girls are interested in all of these things. Theyāre interested in sex, romance, their bodies growing up, their own sexuality and the likes. Itās no wonder same-sex relationships and romance get included, theyāre part of what experiencing the world through the eyes of a young girl is like.
And subsequently, it stands to reason that as people who engaged with MG grow up - they find comfort in exploring their sexuality through Magical Girl themselves. Thereās a reason why thereās a growing section of āMagical Girlā in your local hentai site.
āMen get off on corrupting this wholesome girl targeted genreā is actually TERF rhetoric sneaking through the mainstream. It ignores AFAB ppl and gender nonconforming people, who grew up with Magical Girls, simply using a medium that originally started their journey of sexual identity, to explore more āgrown upā aspects of that same identity.
In particular, Iām a Cis AroAce Woman. I wrote a lot of Magical Girl NSFW when I first started writing NSFW Twitter threads. Theyāre bad and theyāre cringey. But it was something I needed.
Magical Girls were a huge part of my childhood and early teens. When I was mentally in the space to want to engage with NSFW content: it was obvious I would turn to what first sparked excitement.
So this idea that āmen are corrupting Magical Girls with their sick fantasiesā is nothing more than TERF-lite propaganda. People, including women and men, have been doing this for ages; for a variety of reasons. And doing so, doesnāt rob children of their spaces - but the gentrification of the internet is a story of another day.
The other argument I have heard is that GOMG is a mockery of the genre. Which is even more laughable in my opinion.
PART 2: Parodies and why I hate Earth Defenderās Club.
Gushing Over Magical Girls loves Magical Girls. Itās a parody, in a way, but it knows very well what it parodies. Itās not surface level in the slightest. And it absolutely is not mean spirited about it.
A lot of the time, shows that reference and parody the Magical Girl genre, do so in ways that feel like they view it as a lesser genre. They take generic images of cute girls in frilly outfits, swap the colors around, and have them chant over-the-top spells. Youāre meant to laugh, not only at how silly they look, but people who would love it. Especially if theyāre grown ups.
I do not like āCute High Earth Defense Club LOVE!ā For this exact reason - even tho many people praise it to all heavens.
Because
1) It feels surface level in its commentary and depiction of Magical Girls and
2) More mocking towards the genre than paying homage or doing anything with it.
The continuous use of the word āLoveā is a very obvious jab at Magical Girls using these words, which feels mean spirited just for the sake of it. Their outfits are almost exactly the same, save for the colors. And they all use the same sticks as weapon, with no thematic link for the shapes of the scepters. The mascot too (a wombat for god knows what reason), I think itās meant to be a joke of some sort for how ridiculous some of the mascots for the girls get, which rubs me the wrong way.
In general, it feels shallow and mean spirited. But no one calls this an insult to Magical Girls. Because people who like it don't actually care about Magical Girls. They see cute boys doing silly things and love it. Which is kinda sad.
Now, Gushing Over Magical girls has sort of that same problem on the Tres Magiasā¦But theyāre not the protagonists. And even then, in later chapters, they get power ups that are different in design, and thematically linked.
The protagonist, and the ones we follow, are Utena and the girls. And they all have very distinct outfits, all with motifs that are tangentially thematically linked, and speak of each characterās personalities in interesting ways.
Utena in particular has THIS outfit. Which a lot of people donāt like, but I actually do.
Itās very obvious itās taking inspo from other iconic Bad Girls in the genre. Namely, Utau, Kraehe and Devil Homura. All āEnemy charactersā that have unhealthy obsessions with other characters. In particular, I think the wings and the feathers resemble Homura - THE character known to have a massive obsession with a Magical Girl (Madoka), to the point of insanity.
Thereās also Magia Azure. Whoās a clear reference to the Mean Tsundere girl that is iconic to the genre. Sheās also a Miko. Which is a callback to Sailor Mars, arguably THE girl who popularized this archetype.
I also love what they do with the mascots. Unlike Earth Defenders, where the mascot is you know, a mockery of the archetype of a mascot - useless, only there to give power ups, and obsessed with food - the mascots of GOMG is taking a book from Madoka.
It considers the mascots both all-too-powerful and yet limited in their reach. Which is exactly what the mascots have always been in Magical Girls. Beings so powerful they can give mythical powers to girls, yet helpless to do anything on their own. So, they use magical girls as a vehicle to achieve their goals. Most Magical girls try to paint this as a good thing, but newer genres shine light on how dangerous that can be too.
Madoka tackles it with Kyubey as the main initial mascot, only later to turn out to be the villain of the series.
And in a Post-Madoka world, trusting the mascots is just the slightest bit more difficult. Thatās why, from the get go, GOMG portrays their mascots as morally corrupt. Heās not a good character, heās malicious and doing more harm than good. But for the majority of the series, heās painted more as a useless harmless evil than anything genuinely terrifying or worthy of concern. The attention is focused on other things.
But I love the way that itās heavily implied that theyāre not good. Itās a very interesting take on the mascot and it helps with the themes of the series. Which yes, by the way. Gushing Over Magical Girls has themes.
Which lead me to-
Part 3: Yeah, uhm, Gushing Over Magical Girl has themes.
Thereās this idea that Sex is an inherently violent act. In which a man humiliates and sodomizes a woman, and therefore the woman is exploited in some way. And 10x worse is any act that involves BDSM. Itās violence; born out of hatred.
This is TERF rhetoric. Iām not joking. This line of thought leads directly to TERF ideas.
Many on the internet have pointed out as much, and BDSM members have gone to be very vocal about it. In particular, people on the role of the submissive (or the bottoms) are loudly trying to explain the contrary. How they like the act of sex, like the idea of being vulnerable, or being humiliated. Thereās also plenty of LGBT+ stories that talk about it, both in western and eastern spaces. Just jump into the section of dom/sub verse at your local manga browsing website, and youāll find something.
That said, the same is not as common for people who like to ādominateā.
I can only think of two pieces of media that argue that, whoever is the dominant or the sadist, is also a human being. That whatever theyāre doing is done, not out of hatred for the submissive or an act of violence, but love.
One, is the husky and the white cat. In which Mo Ran, among other things, has to come to terms that his love isnāt āpureā. That he cannot love someone without the want to have sex, and to completely dominate that someone.
The second one is Gushing Over Magical Girls.
Itās very clear to me that Utenaās sadism isnāt a violent act. Itās an act born out of love. She genuinely loves the Magical Girls, and most girls for that matter, and whenever she is inflicting pain and fighting with them - what she wants is to ultimately help them in some way.
She wants them to ābe the cutest version they can beā and wants them to shine brighter than ever.
Thereās this one scene I love, around chapter 20, in which Baiser (Utena) is fighting Magia Azura. And due to Baiser going a bit too far, Azura ends up being Mind-broken. She crawls towards her, calls her āmistressā and begs to become her servant.
In any normal Hentai youāll find, this is a good thing. This would be the ideal outcome. A character being turned into nothing but a sex slave for the enjoyment of the dominant.
Which is why I found it breathtaking when that didnāt happen.
Baiser is horrified by this. She does not want to break the girls, she wants them to be powerful. She wants them to win. With her, the evil one, being nothing more than a vehicle for them to be even stronger than before.
This is the first time Iāve ever seen dominant or sadist characters being presented both sexually, and in such a positive light. Much less a queer woman in the same position.
It doesnāt treat BDSM sex as a disgusting taboo act, but something born out of genuine love - and a want to see the other person be or feel better.
This is reinforced around chapter 25 where Leberblume and Loco MĆ¹sica are fighting Baiser. For context, Loco Musica wanted to be an Idol, but had terrible singing. She uses her evil power to basically force everyone to listen to her sing (which is so reminiscent of Mermaid Melody btw). When they fight, Baiser wins, and is then set to use her new found power to āpunishā Loco Musica.
Originally, Loco Musica points out how Baiserās sadistic tendencies are āthe sameā as Lord Enorme, who weāve seen uses sadism as a genuine form of punishment. Something to avoid. You behave well, because you donāt want to get hurt or humiliated by her.
However, when Baiser uses her own unique type of sadism on Loco Musica, something happens. Instead of causing her physical pain by beating her or using violence, she forces her to get naked and perform her idol song like that. This causes her to get extremely embarrassed. And in the process, she actually starts to sing really well.
This is important for two reasons
1) Baiser is actually taking into account who Musica is. Itās later revealed that Musica wanted a more frilly idol-like outfit but Lord Enorme shut it down, for the sake of a more āunifiedā aesthetic. Baiser is not just throwing around the same treatment and punishment for all girls - what one might like, the other might hate.
2) At the end of the day, while she did the punishment, it was both embarrassing, but ultimately something that helped Musica and made her feel better.
And thatās really the key here, and why I love the series.
Sadism, sex and kinks in general are not tools of degeneracy. Theyāre treated as part of our experience.
Also, itās just fun?
Part 4: Gushing Over Magical Girls is just extremely fun when you donāt have a dumb bitch yapping abt how unholy it is to see tiddies on a screen
Yeah, GOMG just has one of the most creative depictions of the most insane of kinks youāll see - I could spent hour gushing over Nero Alice.
Seeing all these different kinks being depicted as powers and abilities that these characters have - and seeing how they interact with other people is just interesting.
The sex scenes are both hilarious and kinda sexy. Specially if you do like to see women all hot and bothered. Personally Iām not into girls (or anyone for that matter) but I have to admit the scenes were pretty hot. And there is no shame in admitting as much. No matter what the puritanical Christian on Twitter crying abt āgod honoring lesbian sexā Will tell you.
I cannot begin to explain just how hype and relatable it was to see Magia Baiser defeat Lord Enorme with the power of straight up delusion, we STAN.
So, yeah.
Itās been a while since I last saw a Magical Girl Show so unashamed of being a Magical Girl Show. Unashamed of being weird, of praising the genre and just enjoying it.
My essay is titled, in part, as a joking reference to my much more popular series āMLB is the worst thing to happen to the magical girl seriesā. Which I still think is true.
And while, yeah, maybe GOMG isnāt the best thing to come out of the genreā¦I still think itās good that it came out.
A lot of people say they want a more āmatureā take on Magical Girls but - this proved to me that just isnāt the case.
Gushing over magical girls proves that the Magical Girl Genre Can Be so much more than what people think. More than glitter and sparkles, more than vapid action scenes, or what little girls want.
Much like any other genre, it can be raunchy, it can be messy, it can explore things outside of the status quo. But it can still deeply respect the source material, and the origins of it.
GOMG proves Magical Girls can be fun. Just. Straight up fun. Regardless of your age. They can serve and connect you to parts of yourself you didnāt realize you could connect to.
I hope it proves to more people that the genre can be so much more than ājust for little girlsā that parodies can be more than pointing and laughing, and that it can have themes beyond just, āfriendshipā.
Magical Girls can be so much more. You just, have to have an open mind about it.
guilty gushing fan here let me tell you why I like it and. what i don't like. some.spoilers but not many
why I like it
ā¢ im drawn to sexually explicit or suggestive material outside of its purpose as arousing material or gooner bait, likely due to the intimacy of it. otherwise no clue
ā¢ the plot is consistent and makes sense and I enjoy where it goes
ā¢ it has strong themes of accepting ones deeper and darker desires and allowing yourself to enjoy 'taboo' things (even if it isn't done very well in a safe manner)
ā¢ the main character scratches an itch in my brain and i wish her potential as a pathetic little girl failure in her untransformed state was exercised more by the story and fandom
ā¢ the characters all have strong ideologies and morals that make sense with their pasts and what they're shown to have. they don't often break character and their arcs make sense
ā¢ the designs are all pleasing to the eye despite their obvious issues and they're all distinctive. I don't have issues picking them apart from each other and when I see them in the wild I don't struggle to recognize them.
ā¢ the characters all have good chemistry together and their dynamics are fun
ā¢ a lot of the explicitness or kinks end up being less kinky and more gimmicky, such as with loco, which I enjoy
ā¢ the one explicitly loli/actual child character doesn't actually have any explicit scenes, only manipulates those around her into explicit scenes. all of her appearances that have semi suggestive notions are adult stand-ins or so brief they're entirely forgettable
what I Don't like
ā¢ glaring issue. they're all minors.
ā¢ the main reason that the mc gets into this scheme is entirely brushed over and her qualms with being a villain are not exercised well enough
ā¢ they're ALL minors
ā¢ the 9yr old is a character that exists and she frequently manipulates other characters into explicit situations
ā¢ the mc gets far too comfortable far too fast and it feels like her potential with tres magia when she's first starting out isn't pushed to its fullest
ā¢ the first couple fights are so kink and fetish oriented I genuinely cant bare to watch the second one (why.. tickling..)
ā¢ there's NO consent. it's all assault and implied rape, the characters are made to be made uncomfortable sexually and forced into situations that are poor for them due to the mc's or others' actions.
ā¢ the way that the world is set is odd in the sense that it's just kind of like that but nothing is ever explained. why are there no men.. anywhere? why do magical girls exist? what's the deal with recognition inhibition? what's going on?
but from a purely viewers experience
I like it. it's fun, I wish more people knew about it that weren't narcs or nuns and weren't massive weirdos with noncon fetishes or had a need for cock in there. I think that what they're doing with the characters are entertaining and I enjoy the shenanigans they get up to. I wish the mc faced more adversity that wasn't life-ending, like in the most recent chapters.
i have this follower that i'm genuinely enamored with. their entire blog is reblogging random things with 'want more? check out my onlyfans'. i know they've definitely been hacked, because their earlier posts are all (frankly fantastic) fanart and ocs, but its so funny to me.
why are you reblogging crosswords with your onlyfans promo. what do you have on your onlyfans. why are you reblogging resident evil reimagined teasers. what do you have on your onlyfans. why are you reblogging dead internet theory. what. what is on your onlyfans.
i'm sure being in a literal closet and beating back your literal heart so it stays in the closet and doesn't alert two people (very close to you) who are outside of the closet and more openly flirting with each other isn't like. a metaphor for any repressed queer feelings at all.
it sucks sooo bad having your favorite form of fandom consumption being gacha reaction videos because you have to get so lucky. genuinely starving for decent kpdh reaction videos
Portland (ME) Pride is uhhhmm *special* shall we say /s
they have cops here, uhmmm 3/4 of the floats and stands are corporations declaring their allyship and trying to sell shit, like we have luxury old folks homes with rainbow flags duct-taped to their minivans...
I saw a church with a fucking egregious sign,
" Our CHURCH of blah blah blah in wherever town is SORRY for all the HATEFUL things done in the name of GOD!!! "
Wow thank you so much, that's so considerate, that undoes all the religious trauma of millions of queers, that undoes the conversion therapy, that changes so much that shows you've really changed
ok unpopular opinion idgaf if its all corporations lmao. they dont HAVE to be doing this or sponsoring this, so i think its neat that they were here to begin with. also a lot of the 'corporations' were organizations that were for the support of queer people, disabled people, etc etc, and it was really cool to see!!
and obviously a lot of churches suck and the church itself has caused irreparable damage to millions of queer folks, but i thought it was nice to see churches advocating for queer rights and acknowledging the actions other churches have made against our community. it doesn't fix everything (fixes very little, if anything), but it's nice to see that at least one church of many doesn't think we deserve to burn yk, and they're acknowledging what happened!! idk i think its neat
also the cops are just there in case someone tries to commit a hate crime, and close off the road n stuff lmao
a complete analysis of the TADC finale (and series as a whole, kind of)
okay so im gonna preface this with the fact that i have only watched the finale once and this is not beta read! its for me to get my thoughts out and whoever wants to read it to read it. I'll be using he/him for Jax, as while he can certainly be read as transfem on several levels, it's not explicitly stated and I'd like to make the distinctions between characters as clear as I can.
TADC SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!
So, let me say firstly that I Fucking Hate That Rabbit Dude. He's a piece of shit that was unfortunately well written (to me, at least) and I don't think there was any way he was going to be redeemed. And that's okay! Not every character needs to be redeemed. The reason I don't mind Jax not getting redeemed is that he is a very, VERY good and very realistic version of what a deterioration of mental health does to a person. He was a piece of shit that fell so deep into his self-loathing that he rationalized it by demeaning himself to a character and took it out on the people around him. He pretended that his story and character was all a part of a story, and pushed everyone away with the preconceived notion that they would mock him for it.
And it makes sense!! You get the context of the fact that he had never been 'good enough' for one important figure in his life, and then when that figure was gone, he was suddenly being compared to that figure constantly. He had to fit into a little box that was just enough, but not too much. He had to be fictional- Jax had to be this idealistic concept of someone who was everything and nothing like their father. And then, when he finally was vulnerable (which was outside of what the 'ideal' version of him was), he was laughed at and mocked. And then when he saw a moment of vulnerability from the opposition, he struck in turn and caused irreparable damage (guys lets be real. she's fucking dead bro).
A lot of the time, people don't realize just how much it hurts to be pushed away until they've hurt the other person so much it's unsalvageable. People like to double down instead of changing. Jax is unfortunately a great example of this. When he is expected to be vulnerable in turn after someone opens up to him, he expects a punch as soon as his big mouth opens. When nothing comes, he goes on the offensive to the next person that dares to potentially have even an inkling of an idea of his mental state. Then he decides to cover his bases. It's a vicious cycle. Now, I'm not defending Jax here in any way shape or form. Jax has had every opportunity to change, and refused to change until he was quite literally facing death in its face, and then didn't change even then. There's a difference between a struggling person, a person that makes bad choices, and a bad person. Jax hit the first two, then decided he might as well keep going. And a lot of the time that's a defense mechanism, too. If he's a bad person, nobody will get close to him- if nobody gets close to him, nobody will ever get close enough to see him vulnerable. And if nobody sees him vulnerable, he'll never have the chance to hurt someone again.
Either way, he was past the point of no return and wouldn't have been redeemable. The place he had in the ended made the most sense for his character. Also, I'm glad he didn't come back. I didn't like him. Sometimes the best thing you can do with someone who's that horribly lost in... everything... is to cut them out of your life. While there wasn't much option, that is what ended up happening.
Okay, are we clear on Jax? No? Oh well.
Let's segue into Ragatha, shall we?
So, Ragatha's a fun character. I feel like we can settle the characters into supporting cast, major characters, and protagonists. Jax and Pomni fit into protagonists, Kinger/Ragatha/Caine are major characters, and Gangle/Zooble are supporting cast. The way that these little sublevels work is that they're all equally important to each other's characters. Ragatha is really important to contrast with Jax. We know what's going on with Ragatha- she wants community and acceptance, but is similarly afraid of being vulnerable as Jax. The way those two differ though, is that while Jax is afraid of hurting others and being hurt by others, Ragatha is afraid that being vulnerable will outcast her. This causes her to strive to make as many connections as possible, albeit all surface-level ones.
Ragatha is important because she is someone that our protagonists can use as a stepping stone. She is someone that helps one to adjust, she is someone that the other pushes away after a fight, but what both protagonists have in common is that they both hurt Ragatha, albeit in different ways and to different levels. We see it first in the pilot with Pomni being unable to take Ragatha's attempts to connect well. She abandons her, ignores her, and overall doesn't mesh well with her until episode seven. They make up in three, yeah, but they're not really friends until later. In the end, however, Pomni is an active contributor to Ragatha's character. Kinger, too. Ragatha finally accepts the idea that she needs to allow people space- constant love and affection is not what everyone needs. If you keep watering a plant, it'll die, and yada yada yada. Pomni becomes a friend rather than a project. In contrast, however, Jax is actively detrimental to Ragatha's character. He's constantly demeaning her, calling her unlikeable, trying to turn her friends against her, etcetera etcetera. He pushes her away when she tries to reach out, which is what incites her to be desperate to assist someone so that she feels a little less like a failure.
Pomni is, in contrast to Ragatha, the base of every character. She ends up being what Ragatha wishes she was. She talks to pretty much every character, ends up befriending the whole cast, becomes a pillar for everyone to lean on. The issue with this, however, is that Pomni ends up becoming JUST a pillar. We end up knowing so, so little about Pomni's character. She is the help. But I think that her ambiguity, as one of our main protagonists, is incredibly important. Pomni is the strongest person in the circus. Not physically, obviously, but she's very mentally strong and adjusts quickly, and she makes up her world by struggling to grasp the idea that it's okay to be someone that people can't always be helped by. She can only do so much, and that's part of what she's decided. She's already accepted that this world is all there's going to be. Obviously, she still clings onto hope, but she's kind of delegated herself to being the shoulder to cry on. She's the all-rounder that a horrible situation needs. We learn about the other characters through Pomni, and we learn about the world through Pomni, but we never learn about Pomni, because we never see the world through anyone else's focus. Pomni is never the focus.
Which actually links really well with the circus and it's themes of mental illness! Mental illness is inherently selfish. Everyone that experiences mental health issues end up being incredibly self-centered, even if it manifests in different ways. You will always be focused on yourself and how miserable you are and how miserable you're making other people when you have things going wrong inside your head (Jax and his attack against others, Ragatha and her need for acceptance).
Caine is an interesting character to me! He's very clearly close to being a protagonist, and the only reason I don't put him there is due to the fact that he's more of a plot device than a protagonist. He is inherently important to the world. He is the whole reason that the circus exists, but in doing that, he's also a major reason that everyone in the circus suffers. Caine is a victim, but in being a victim, he also retaliates. When Caine is made miserable by the miserableness of his guests, he struggles to grasp the underlying ideas- he isn't affected by these things, why would they be? So he turns their issues against them, and makes everyone worse along with it. When he is removed from the equation and everything goes to shit, people eventually start to heal unless they're so stuck in their despair they refuse to crawl their way out (jax). He thinks, he reflects, and then he comes back willing to create something new. Thumbs up. A+, star sticker, Caine! Good job!
Okay, I'll touch on Gangle a little, too. Gangle's entire point is to be a victim. Like, can we all agree on this? Gangle, as a character, is made to be someone directly affected by someone mentally ill. Jax relentlessly bullies her, demeans her, mocks her, downright abuses her for her entire time in the circus. Hell, her own name is meant to be pathetic and useless, because she is assumed to be pathetic and useless. And while I hate to focus on Jax, Gangle and her existence as a character is directly linked to Jax (mostly). Jax was hurting, and when he saw someone at their lowest, in the lowest point of their lives (seriously, gangle had just been Hit By A Truck!!!!!!!!!!), he strikes before they can strike first. Also, I'd like to touch on the fact that Gangle is probably frail and pathetic due to her physical state. It's implied that Gangle was in a manic-to-depressive episode and got hit by a truck, so not only was her mental state Pretty Bad, so was her physical body.
I'll come back to Gangle in a second lmao
Zooble is tied to Caine. They have very similar motives with different ideas behind them. Zooble wants to change the world without changing themselves or the people around them. Zooble wants to be someone that they, as a person, can like. Zooble struggles with identity, struggles with finding their place in the world. They have dreams, aspirations, but they're struggling to find a place or a way to begin to drive those dreams. Caine wants to change the people around him to fit the world he already hand-shaped. He appeals to those that he just can't please, who need to work on themselves before they can change. He can't change them, so he lashes out.
Zooble and Gangle differ in that way. Gangle has dreams and aspirations, but she's already decided that her place in the world is somewhere quiet and out of the way. She's under the impression that there's nothing left for her. Honestly, as far as she knows, there isn't! She's probably dead in a hospital bed! She thinks she's barely alive!
They both end up accepting in the end that they do have things waiting, just not what they had originally thought or wanted. They learn to accept what things are. They learn to accept changes.
And.. moving on.. that's why I think the ending of TADC is so good. Everyone in the circus learns that change is possible. That there are good things waiting for them. That change was always possible. That there was always something at the end of the road. But, sometimes you don't always get to see it. That, maybe, another 'you' could do better, but this 'you' just has to deal with what you have. And that people don't always deal with what they have, and they can't make it, or they trip and fall down the slippery hill that is change and get crushed by the weight of everything before they ever manage to reach the top.
Okay, enough about the characters, and more about my personal LOVE for the episode.
The cinematography was so, so good. It blended real footage with 3d animation so well, and the ways that everything was explored was very well done. I think the narrative aspect was really good and, while corny at times, it had dialogue that was true to the characters in their situations and felt!! good to watch! My little fan heart that has been watching TADC since the pilot was foaming at the mouth every time I spotted something pulled from an earlier episode. It was genuinely my favorite episode, I think. I got genuine chills with the static still-body shots with jax/his mother/pomni, and every time a parallel with his mother, or ribbit, or pomni showed up I started going rabid
OKAY OH MY GOD FINAL THOUGHTS FOR REAL THIS TIME
I didn't mind the series focusing on Jax. The circus itself, I think, is about mental health. It's about the good, the bad, and the ugly results of change and mental illness. What trauma does to someone even after the end of the event. Jax just happened to be the focus, because he is the ugly. He has always been the bad result. He is what happens when you refuse to change. Change fucking sucks!! Change is scary!! It's always GOING to be scary, but you never learn to do better if you'll never even glance back at the mountain to try hiking again! You learn, you accept, you change.
Obviously it wasn't perfect- i still wish we got more focus on the other characters or had more silly moments. But hey !!! That's what fanfiction is for!!!!! Okay thank you for reading my massive essay lmfao
okay im reblogging this again to add on a brief analysis i thought of
so after talking it over with my sibling ive come to the conclusion that the entirety of the circus is about Change brah
okay so the circus starts with caine, who can't accept that he hasn't changed enough and that the world is going to change without him. so he makes a world that will never change if he doesnt want it to, which is why he reacts so strongly to the cast acting off-script. its not a type of change he's willing to accept yet!!
zooble WANTS change. zooble wants to become someone they can like. zooble wants to change the world to help the people around them. zooble struggles to change in a way they like, but eventually learns to accept this change.
gangle has already accepted the world is changing, but gangle's decided that there's no further change for her. the world is never going to change for her, and her place is something small and meaningless, and she'll never make any impact.. ever.
kinger has seen change come and go and has accepted his past and what it means. he just struggles to assist people in changing due to the impact that his past and his change has left on himself.
ragatha struggles to keep up with the idea that the world is changing. she's afraid that the people around her aren't going to change in time, and they'll be left behind. but she struggles to accept the fact that she might not change in time, and that she can't help the people around her change. she worries that changing herself might have others shut her out, and that they won't change with her.
pomni is stagnant. she's accepting of change, but figures the only way anything will ever change is if she helps everyone else change. challenging this idea challenges her sense of self- she has to be strong for everyone, or nobody will be strong for her.
and jax. hoo boy. jax has an adamant refusal to change. change has only brought her hurt, and changing has only hurt other people. so she refuses to change, she demeans herself to a character because having to change this 'ideal' character means that everyone else can change and they might get hurt too. change and vulnerability go hand in hand, and changing at all for jax means opening herself up to being hurt, and other people changing means that they're open to hurt, too. i think this also ties into jax as a transfem coded character. the reason jax has not transitioned is because transitioning is a change!! to admit that she should transition is to admit that she has to change. she isn't ready and will never be ready for that vulnerability. she will never be ready to change. anyways thats just my seventeen cents
