welcome to my circus

lou | she/her come join in the clowning

[followyouthroughfire]

we will meet you, where the lights are

the defenders of the faith, we are

[xxfiction-is-my-realityxx]

Oliver Stark as Evan 'Buck' Buckley in 9-1-1 // + photoshop filter

Do not Repost!! RB & ❤ if you want to!

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Soooooo - when chris wakes up from his nightmare in 5x10 and Eddie rushes into the room - he’s wearing a jumper that has the words slippery slope written on it - at first I thought it was just to do with Christophers breakdown about Eddie being dead by next Christmas. Now however, I’m thinking it was also foreshadowing Eddie’s up coming breakdown - hinting that he was sliding down the slippery slope - that Christopher’s meltdown was actually just an extra slidey bit of the slope - speeding up his descent - telling us that we’ll see him break down later in the season - as is being proven by the clip from yesterday!!

[fruitydiaz]

i’m still thinking about the hole in eddie’s jeans

[djdangerlove]

[followyouthroughfire]

If you follow his lips closely -It really looks like he's sobbing out "I can't"

And it's also something you say in moments of panic. I think.

It really does! Well done for spotting it!! And if you are right there has to be end to the sentence. What can’t he do?? Therapy, heal, work in dispatch?? Or something deeper. Something ‘repressed’ right down inside him…

[911verse]

First Look | Season 5 Episode 11 9-1-1

[gaydadeddie]

[loveyourownsmiilee]

But has anyone stopped to think that Eddie’s not alone in that scene?!? He’s heartbroken, he’s clearly breaking down but he’s saying something. It’s like he’s talking to someone?? And yes it can most definitely be just to himself but it seems like he’s saying “Stay”. What if…Buck is already there? And they’re arguing and Eddie’s keeping stuff from him and Buck just wants Eddie to talk to him like he’s always wanted. Eddie gets upset and punches a wall or something and then he breaks down while repeating “Stay” over and over again. He doesn’t want Buck to leave him too 🥺

[xxfiction-is-my-realityxx]

I am pretty sure he says "I can't " tho. Which doesn't make it less heartbreaking .

But this would be so beautiful.

[loveyourownsmiilee]

Ok but here’s another crazy idea. Maybe Eddie’s going through a bunch of his mementos, and comes across the baseball bat from high school or something. Then he remembers high school, and falling for one of his guy friends on the team. But he repressed it and couldn’t act on it. And he’s crying because he’s mourning the man he’s been too scared to become. The one who couldn’t like boys. He’s crying because he’s so unhappy with his life and he just wants to live his life freely. He gets upset, possibly destroys some of those mementos but then breaks down crying because he’s struggling with his sexuality too.

[stationoneeighteen]

CHIMNEY HAN ❂ Proud Mr. April

[Image Description: Image Description: 4 coloured gifs from 9-1-1 featuring Chimney Han in season 2 episode 6. All gifs are from the same scene. Gif 1: A shot of Chimney in the firehouse kitchen as he’s being interviewed by Taylor Kelly. He raises both his hands slightly and says, ‘I mean, what little kid doesn’t want to be a firefighter?’ The caption reads, ‘I mean, what little kid doesn’t want to be a firefighter?’ Gif 2: Chimney then pulls out from underneath the counter a copy of the 2019 LAFD Firefighters calendar. He holds it up proudly as he grabs a piece of popcorn from the bowl in front of him. The caption reads, ‘Especially… a hot firefighter. Gif 3: He nods his head slightly and motions for Taylor, off camera, to take the calendar as a gift. The caption reads, ‘That’s for you. Go ahead.’ Gif 4: After she takes the calendar, he leans on the counter, tilts his head up slightly and tells her, ‘you’re welcome’. The caption reads, ‘you’re welcome’. /End ID]

[professorabacus]

having a mutual that lives in the same state as you can be so healing

[lightasthesun]

[followyouthroughfire]

Hope Is A Heartache by LÉON just started playing - and it made me think and break down. Like:

Us two in the hallway saying things you shouldn't say to me

And if that is love, then what's the point now? You got someone to hold

But does she know, know?

And:

It's like we're sitting on dynamite

But we're not ready to start a fight

Is it too late to figure it out?

'Cause I've been wondering

[Outro]

Stuck in emotions and I don't know what they mean

Keep thinking about us and how things get in between

But if it is love, it doesn't matter, you don't belong to me

If that doesn’t sound like Eddie’s feelings I don’t know what does.

[bikingdon]

stood on a cliffside screaming 'give me a reason'

“Give me a reason.” he blurts, clamping his mouth shut immediately afterwards as his face begins to feel hot.

Eddie pauses, tilting his head. “I’m sorry?”

Buck swallows, the room suddenly feeling a hundred times smaller. “Give me a reason to break up with her.” He rasps out.

Eddie blinks at him with zero expression on his face, and Buck finds the palms of his hands getting sweaty as he waits for some, for any response. Finally, after a silence that feels like it stretches on for millenia, Eddie replies. “Evan,” He breathes, wide eyed and shocked and so, so beautiful. “What are you saying?”

(or; Buck realises he maybe isn't quite as happy as he thought.)

2.6k | read on ao3

this serves as a prompt fill for @buddieversion 's prompt for hoax!

[bikingdon]

tags below the cut!! (lmk if you want added/removed):

@dreambutdontsleepx @dispatchereddie @ravipanikar @rarakiplin @paranoidbean @letswishuponastar @cantlivewithoutyoumalec @make-a-desert-call-it-peace @dispatchersdiaz @eddito @adamsparirsh @oceansdiaz @prettyboyandthekid @texasdiaz @wildflowerbuck

[buttercupbuck]

francis forever x

[image description: two gifs of evan buckley and eddie diaz from 9-1-1 with lyrics from mitski’s “francis forever.” 

gif 1: from season 4 episode 14. sitting on christopher’s bed, buck ducks his head and begins to sob. the text reads, “i don’t know what to do without you.” 

gif 2: two gifs, both from season 4 episode 14. the first is a close up of buck’s hands shaking. taylor’s come up to steady them. it fades into the next gif, of buck’s bloody hand framing eddie’s face in the back of the ambulance. tired, eddie looks at buck. the text reads, “i don’t know where to put my hands.”

/endID]

[in-myheartofhearts]

Buckley-Diaz family!

[in-myheartofhearts]

All I ask for 5b.

[followyouthroughfire]

It’s just another Tuesday morning before school, light streaming in, sat at the table eating breakfast with his favourite Diazes. Something about the warm sunlight on his back makes him feel gooey inside. He gets to have this. For as long as they’ll let him. He tries to keep back the sudden onslaught of tears threatening to drown him. A sob in the back of his throat gives him away and Eddie’s eyes snap to him, full of worry.

“I’m just so lucky to have you. Both of you,” Buck chokes out.

“No, we’re the lucky ones.” Christopher chirps, getting up and putting his empty bowl in the sink.

“Exactly,” leaning over, Eddie fills the space Chris just vacated. “What our kid said. You’re stuck with us.”

“You won’t tire of me?”

“You spark joy, always. We’d never get rid of you.” Eddie’s point is punctuated with a kiss pressed to Buck’s temple to the sound of Chris’ groans.

[buttercupbuck]

francis forever x 

image description: two gifs of eddie diaz from 9-1-1 with lyrics from mitski’s “francis forever.” 

gif 1: from season 4 episode 14. eddie looks at buck with a pained and exhausted expression after buck tells him it would’ve been better if he’d been the one to get shot. the text reads, “i don’t know what to do without you.” 

gif 2: two gifs. the first is from season 4 episode 13. eddie reaches out a hand towards buck as he bleeds out. it fades into the second gif, which is from season 5 episode 3. eddie stands stiffly against his fridge as ana approaches him, his arms crossed. the text reads, “i don’t know where to put my hands.” 

/endID]