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we're not kids anymore.
YOU ARE THE REASON
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@fontie-parenting
Feeling the mental load? Join 'The Motherload' community on Discord to chat with other parents, share hacks, and find your village. ☕️ Join here:
Hey everyone! You've found The Motherload. This is our cozy corner of the internet a safe space created for women, by women. The goal here i
PSA if you guys live in the US and have a kid that was born 20 25 or 2026 you qualify to get $1,000 for a savings account for them that they can use once they turn 18. Hop on that free money yall
Trump Accounts provide eligible American children with tax-advantaged investment accounts courtesy of President Donald J. Trump.
Keeping the Spark Lit Amidst the Laundry
Let’s be honest: in the early days of parenting, romance often looks a little different than it used to. It’s less about fancy dinners and more about sharing a knowing glance while cleaning up a mess, or whispering "I love you" while holding a sleeping baby.
🦷 The Teething Survival Guide: Helping Your Little One (and You!) Get Through It
Is your happy-go-lucky baby suddenly a bit of a grouch? Are they drooling like crazy and trying to gnaw on your fingers (or the coffee table)? It sounds like those first little teeth are finally making their move!
Teething is such an exciting milestone, but I know it can feel pretty overwhelming when your little guy is uncomfortable. Here’s a quick guide to help you spot the signs and find some relief that actually works.
🔎 How to Tell if It’s Teething
Sometimes it’s hard to tell if it’s a growth spurt or a tooth, but keep an eye out for these:
The Drool Factor: You’ll probably find yourself going through three bibs a day.
The "Chew Everything" Phase: They are looking for anything firm to press against those sore gums.
Extra Cuddles Needed: You might notice they’re more irritable or fussy, especially when they’re trying to settle down for the night.
Rosy Cheeks or Swollen Gums: If you peek inside, you might see a little red bump or a tiny white sliver just under the surface.
🌿 Cozy & Natural Ways to Help
Before grabbing the medicine, these simple home tricks can be total lifesavers:
A Cold Washcloth: This is a classic for a reason! Wet a clean cloth, pop it in the fridge for a bit, and let them chomp away. The texture and the cold feel amazing on their gums.
A Gentle Massage: Sometimes just using a clean finger to gently rub their gums can provide enough counter-pressure to soothe the ache.
Chilled Silicone: If you have those silicone teething toys, keep a couple in the fridge so you always have a cold one ready to go.
💊 When You Need a Little Extra Help
Check with your Pediatrician: If they’re really struggling to sleep or eat, infant Tylenol or Motrin (if they’re over 6 months) can help. Just be sure to double-check the dosage with your doctor first!
Teething Biscuits: Once they’re a bit older and eating solids, these can be a great way for them to satisfy that urge to crunch.
🚫 A Quick Safety Heads-Up
We all want our babies to feel better, but some things are best avoided:
Amber Necklaces: These are a big choking and strangulation risk.
Numbing Gels: The FDA actually warns against these for babies because they can be dangerous for their blood oxygen levels.
⚠️ A Note on Fevers
It’s a super common myth that teething causes high fevers or diarrhea. While they might get a tiny bit warm from the inflammation, a fever over 101°F or a tummy bug usually means they’ve picked up a little virus. If that happens, it’s always best to give your pediatrician a call just to be safe!
💡 My Favorite Hack:
I’ve started keeping a "teething kit" in my diaper bag with an extra bib, a clean washcloth in a baggy, and a chilled teether. It makes such a difference when you’re out hiking or at the store and the fussiness starts!
How are you mamas holding up with the teething stage? Any favorite toys or tricks that are working for your little ones right now? Tell me everything! 👇
#️⃣ Tags
#TeethingPhase #FirstTimeMom #BabyTips #NewMomLife #TeethingRelief #InfantHealth #TheMotherloadGroup #2026Baby #ParentingCommunity #BabyMilestones
🍼 The Quick Guide to Mixing Formula Safely
Mixing a bottle seems simple, but getting the details right is huge for your baby's kidney health and nutrition. Here is how to keep it safe and stress-free.
1. Pick Your Water Source
You don’t need to break the bank on "nursery water." Any of these work:
Tap Water: Perfect, provided you’ve confirmed your home is lead-free. If you have old pipes, it’s worth a quick test!
Boiled Water: If you're on a well or just want extra peace of mind, boil tap water for one minute, then let it cool to room temperature before mixing.
Bottled Water: Great for the diaper bag. Just try to avoid brands with high sodium or sulfate levels.
2. Get the Ratio Right (Every Single Time)
This is the most important rule: Water first, then powder. If you put the powder in first, the displacement won’t give you an accurate water measurement, which can make the formula too concentrated.
Never "Water it Down": It might be tempting to stretch the formula to save money, but this is dangerous. It dilutes the essential nutrients and puts your baby at risk for water intoxication.
Don't "Pack" the Scoop: Unless the label says otherwise, use a level, unpacked scoop.
3. To Warm or Not to Warm?
Most babies are actually fine with room-temp or even cold bottles! If your little guy isn't picky, don't feel like you have to warm it.
The Golden Rule: Never use a microwave. It creates "hot spots" that can burn your baby’s mouth.
The Safe Way: Place the filled bottle in a bowl of warm water for a few minutes or use a bottle warmer.
4. Storage 101
The 1-Hour Rule: Once your baby’s mouth touches the nipple, bacteria from their saliva enters the bottle. You’ve got one hour to finish it; after that, toss it.
The 24-Hour Rule: A freshly mixed bottle can sit in the fridge for up to 24 hours.
A Quick Reminder...
Even though we're talking about water sources, remember that plain water shouldn't be given as a drink until 6 months (and even then, just sips!).
The "Water Warning": Why H2O is for Grown-ups, Not Infants
If you’re a new parent (shoutout to my fellow late-2025 boy moms!), you’ve probably realized that every "simple" thing about a baby comes with a manual. One of the biggest head-scratchers? Water. We’re told to drink eight glasses a day, but for our babies, it’s actually off-limits.
It feels a little backwards, right? But for a tiny human, their biology handles hydration totally differently than ours. Let’s break down why—and when the rules might actually change.
The Great Divide (That Shouldn't Be): SAHM vs. Working Mom in Today's Wild Economy
Let’s be real for a sec: being a mom in 2026 feels like constantly being judged, no matter what path you choose. Whether you're rocking power suits or pajamas, we’re all just trying to keep tiny humans alive and maybe, just maybe, get five minutes to ourselves.
But lately, the "choice" to stay home or work isn't just about a paycheck—it’s about peace of mind.
The Silent Tightrope: The Realities of Being a “Bonus” Parent
There is a beautiful, idealized version of the "blended family" we see on social media. Matching pajamas, seamless transitions, and the term "Bonus Parent" used as if it’s a promotion. But for many, the reality feels less like a bonus and more like an uphill battle on a tightrope.
While being an "original" (biological) parent comes with its own set of exhausting challenges, the bonus parent occupies a space that is uniquely fragile.
The Trust Gap: Loving a Child Who Didn't Choose You
As an original parent, trust is often the default. But for a bonus parent, trust is a currency that has to be earned—often over years, and sometimes against a backdrop of resentment. It takes a massive amount of emotional maturity to keep showing up for a child who doesn't always have the tools to show up for you.
A Plea to the Original Parents: The Grace Factor
If you are the biological parent in this dynamic, you hold the key to the harmony of your home. You must handle your partner—the bonus parent—with grace, regardless of how toxic or complicated your relationship is with your ex.
Your partner didn't create the history, but they are helping you manage the future.
Don't make them the shield: It is not their job to be the buffer for your "baby mama/daddy drama."
Validate their position: Even if they don't have the final "legal" say, they should have a respected "household" say.
Stand up for them:
If your ex or your children disrespect the bonus parent, it is your job to set the boundary. Grace means acknowledging that they chose a life that came with "pre-packaged" complications.
The Bonus Parent’s Survival Guide: Tips for the Trenches
For the bonus parents reading this, how do you handle the "all of the responsibility, none of the authority" trap? Through my research and conversations, these are the most effective ways to protect your peace:
1. The "Support, Don't Lead" Strategy
In the early years, focus on building a friendship rather than being a disciplinarian. Be the "fun" or "safe" adult. Once the bond is solid, the authority will feel earned rather than forced.
2. Disengage When Necessary (The "Nacho" Method)
If the drama between the biological parents is reaching a fever pitch, it is okay to "Nacho" (as in, "Nacho kids, Nacho problem"). Step back and let the biological parents handle the logistics. Protecting your mental health makes you a better partner and a better presence in the home.
3. Find Your "Non-Parent" Outlet
Your entire identity cannot be wrapped up in a role where you are constantly being told you're "second best." Maintain hobbies, friendships, and spaces where you are valued for you, not for what you do for the kids.
4. Communicate Boundaries Early
Sit down with your partner and define exactly what your role looks like. Are you picking them up? Are you paying for clothes? Are you allowed to ground them? Confusion is where the drama grows; clarity is where the peace starts.
The Verdict: It’s Not a Competition
Being a parent is hard, period. But we have to stop pretending that the bonus parent’s path is the same as the original parent’s. One is a path of instinct; the other is a path of intentionality. To the original parents: Your partner is a gift, not a given. Treat them with the grace their sacrifice deserves. To the bonus parents: Your love is a choice, and that makes it incredibly powerful.
Note from the Author: Now, I want to be transparent—I am not a bonus parent myself. However, through deep research and countless conversations with those in the trenches, I’ve seen the unique weight this role carries. This post is a reflection of the observations, struggles, and honest opinions shared with me by the men and women navigating this complex landscape.
I want to hear from you in the comments:
What is one piece of advice you wish you had known on day one?
How do you protect your peace when the "other parent" drama gets loud?
What’s a "win" you’ve had recently with your bonus kids?
Sharing your story doesn't just help you process—it might be the exact lifeline another bonus parent needs to read today. Let’s turn this comment section into a forum of support and real-world tips.
The "Gatekeeping" Myth: Why Parents Are Keeping Baby Names Under Wraps
We’ve all seen the eye-roll emojis and the snarky comments in the group chat. A couple announces they’re expecting, but when asked about the name, they hit everyone with the classic: "We’re keeping it a secret until the birth certificate is signed."
Cue the collective groan.
“They think they’re celebrities.”
“It’s not that serious.”
“Why are they gatekeeping a name? It’s not like they own the patent.”
But here’s the reality: Parents aren't gatekeeping. They’re protecting.
👑 Your Birth, Your Body, Your Motherhood. (Period.)
Let’s talk about something that needs to be shouted from the rooftops: There is no trophy for suffering, and there is no "correct" way to bring a human into this world. ✋
💋 To Kiss or Not to Kiss? (Let’s Clear This Up!)
If you’ve spent five minutes on parenting social media lately, you’ve probably seen the terrifying warnings in all caps: "DON’T KISS THE BABY!" 🛑
While the intentions are good (staying safe from RSV and cold sores is vital!), these posts often miss a huge, scientific detail: You are not "everyone else." There’s a massive difference between a random relative kissing your newborn and you kissing your newborn.
Let’s apply some "Motherload" logic to this one.
Just dropped the Facebook official page for the mother load all blog post will be there and you guys can post as much as you want have fun and keep in touch girly pops
The First Year: A Guide to Milestones (and Keeping Your Cool)
The first year of your baby's life is a whirlwind of sleepless nights, tiny socks, and "did you see that?!" moments. It’s natural to keep a close eye on the "milestone charts," but here is the most important thing to remember: Babies don’t read charts.
Every child is on their own unique timeline. While milestones are helpful guideposts, they aren't strict deadlines. If your little one isn't hitting a specific mark right on the dot, take a deep breath—you’re doing great, and they are likely just busy perfecting a different skill!
Playing with Purpose: Simple Ways to Support Your Baby’s Growth (Without the Stress)
In my last post, we talked about how milestones are more like "suggestions" than strict deadlines. Once you realize that your baby is on their own unique path, the next question usually is: “Okay, so how can I help them along without becoming a drill sergeant?”
The good news? You don’t need fancy flashcards or expensive "brain-boosting" gadgets. To a baby, play is work. When you’re sitting on the floor making silly faces or letting them splash in a plastic tub, you’re actually helping them wire their brain and strengthen their muscles.
Here is a list of my favorite low-pressure, high-fun activities you can do at home right now with stuff you probably already have in your junk drawer or kitchen.
The "Let's Get Moving" Activities (Physical Growth)
These are great for babies working on core strength, crawling, or eventually standing up.
The Toy Trail: Place a favorite noisy toy just a few inches out of reach. It encourages that first "unintentional" scoot or pivot.
Sticky Note Wall: Tape some Post-its low on the couch. Reaching for them is great for balance, and peeling them off is a major win for tiny finger muscles!
Laundry Basket "Boating": Prop a baby who is learning to sit in a basket with pillows. It’s a safe "corral" for them to practice staying upright while reaching for toys.
The "Little Thinker" Activities (Brain & Language)
You are your baby’s favorite toy. These activities focus on connection and communication.
The "Daily Narrator": Talk about everything you’re doing. "I'm folding the red shirt! Now I'm putting it in the drawer." It sounds simple, but you're building their vocabulary every second.
The Copycat Game: When they babble, babble back. This teaches them that communication is a two-way street.
Mirror Time: Babies are fascinated by faces. Looking in a mirror helps them develop visual tracking and eventually realize, "Hey, that's me!"
The "Discovery" Activities (Sensory & Fine Motor)
Helping those little hands get used to different textures and movements.
Yogurt "Painting": Put a few blobs of yogurt on a high chair tray and let them smear it. It’s messy, sensory-rich, and 100% snack-able.
The Magic Tissue Box: Stuff an empty tissue box with fabric scraps or scarves. Pulling them out one by one is a masterclass in "cause and effect."
Kitchen Percussion: A wooden spoon and a plastic bowl are a classic for a reason. It builds hand-eye coordination and—fair warning—is a great way to start a very loud family band.
A Final Thought for Tired Parents
If you have a day where you don't do a single "activity" and just snuggle on the couch watching cartoons? That counts too. Development isn't about checking boxes; it's about the bond you're building. Your baby doesn't need a perfect teacher—they just need a parent who loves them. So take the pressure off, get down on the floor, and just see where the play takes you today.
Parenting Resources & Activity Ideas:
CDC’s "Milestones in Action": Great for seeing photos and videos of what different stages look like (cdc.gov/milestones).
Zero to Three: Focuses on early brain development and science-backed parenting tips (zerotothree.org).
Pathways.org: A fantastic resource for free games and activities tailored specifically to your baby’s current age.
Vroom: An app that sends daily, "micro-activity" ideas to your phone that take less than 5 minutes.
Your Local Library: Many libraries offer "Baby & Me" storytimes—great for social development and meeting other parents!
ASQ (Ages & Stages): If you ever feel stuck, your pediatrician can provide these simple checklists to give you peace of mind.
The "United Front" Strategy: Why Talking Style Matters Before the Chaos
We spend months picking out the perfect crib and the softest onesies, don’t we? But there is one "nursery essential" that doesn't fit in a diaper bag: Alignment.
When you’re expecting, the world tends to focus entirely on the baby. But for us as parents, one of the kindest things we can do for our future selves is to sit down with our partner and have the "What if?" conversation long before the little one arrives.
☕ The Diaper Math: A Quick Win for Your Wallet
If you walked into a room full of adults today, could you point out which ones were breastfed and which ones were formula-fed?
The answer is a simple no.
As adults and humans, we are a product of our environment, our education, and the love we received—not just what was in our bottles or at the breast as an infant.
Stop the mom-shaming.
Whether it’s by choice or by necessity, how a baby is fed doesn't determine their future.
Fed is Best.
Let's start supporting each other’s journeys instead of judging them. 🤍