I've done a lot of imagining and writing about Tephain'a's transition into Poema, and I've finally taken the time to make a few gposes to illustrate this evolution !
(In my characters' lore, fantasia doesn't exist, and a transition is pretty close to an IRL transition.)
Tephain'a was raised as a girl from an early age. Entrusted to a clan whose Nunh didn't like him, raising him as a girl must have been a humiliation. But at a very young age, Tephain'a found that this life suited him. The clothes, the activities, the other women who cuddled him because he was "as soft and adorable as a plush toy". But in his early teens, Tephain'a fell in love with a boy, Nunh's son, and the scandal swept his life away.
As an adult, he repressed his femininity for a long time, but without rejecting it completely. He feared he would be mocked or betrayed again, as he no longer trusted anyone. He never talked about it.
Then he met Fox, his squad leader, who gradually tamed him. Trust grew between them, and one day Tephain'a dared to tell Fox what he'd been hiding for so long. Fox simply offered to experiment and find out who he was, who he wanted to be. It was the little things, undoing the braids so tightly tied to hide his long hair. Doing his hair differently…
Next it was a matter of letting the fur on his tail grow and wander around without trying to hide it, for fear of people staring at it…
Afterwards, Tephain'a wanted to wear make-up, to hide her manly marks for a more feminine look. She realized that her face was androgynous enough to give her the illusion of a woman's look, and this made her smile.
She then set about changing her body, using alchemy, to make it as feminine as possible. Supported by her squad, from her boss who offers her many outfits and encourages her to express herself as she wishes, to the other members who help and support her in whatever way they can. She has even been given her new name, Poema, by Josevalain, the most uptight member of the squad, who protects her as if she were his daughter at heart (and sometimes scolds her accordingly when she forgets that she can trust the squad not to put herself in danger).
After a while, she plucked up the courage to start a career as a dancer. She quickly blossomed, and despite the nastiness of some bullies, she gained enough self-confidence to stand up for herself or seek help, which is always forthcoming.
Her body changes slowly but she feels better every new day ♥ She even tries more private stuff. She likes it !
I created a small graphic novel to present my research and self ethnography about gender identity and MMORPGs! This was 2 years of research in the making, and I poured my whole heart into it
FFXIV tumblr, show me/ tell me about your characters who do not fit neatly into the in-game playable races! Any character whose race is not simply "an Elezen" or "a Hyur", etc.
Fox Is half Elezen, half Garlean. He's born in Ala Mhigo only days before its annexation by Garlemald, from a prostitute and a soldier. Her mother's plan was to carry the child of a Garlean soldier, in order to gain nationality in turn. Not only would this not work, but the mother risked execution and had to give birth in secret. She immediately abandoned the child to the lalafell who helped her give birth.
Fox (mixed blood elezen) and Josevalain ("pure" elezen)
Fox never learned the story of his birth, but he has several clues: his size, his ears size too, his craftiness, the fact that he didn't master magic as a child. Yet he never looked for his origins, being very happy with his adoptive mother. And with time, he never got the third eye and his magic developed well. He's often mistaken for a Huyr !
But !
In an AU, he meets his mother at the liberation of Ala Mhigo and learns the origin of his birth through an Echo vision, but it's too sad.
The old woman claims she never had a child and treats Fox very badly for even hinting that she might have done such things, afraid of being accused of collaborating with the occupier, insensitive to the harm she is doing to her biological son… Fortunately, Fox can count on his adoptive mother and his supportive squad !
He's a gyrabanian merchant before joining the Scions. His parents were merchants too but now his father retired. They divorced when he was forty and in good terms. He lived in Ala Mhigo before it fell in Garlemald's juridiction and had a happy, wealthy childhood there! He was twenty and far away from the city when the mess happened.
Tephain'a and Josevalain really didn't get along when the squad was first formed. Things changed after the events of Heavensward, firstly because Josevalain was shaken by the events that led his nation to an unprecedented crisis, but also because Tephain'a learned to open up and trust other members of the squad than Fox. They still had their run-ins, but there were also moments when they grew closer as fellow Echo-bearers.
One evening, Tephain'a found himself anxious. There was no one in the FC house but Josevalain, and the silence was unbearable for the miqo'te. Josevalain hadn't planned to stay awake. Nevertheless, with the situations the squad had been through, he had become accustomed not only to helping but to being helped . Every member of the squad had his or her strengths and weaknesses, but also his or her problems, and the other members helped out as much as they could, with their talents, their resources and sometimes just their presence. Weary, but aware that Teph needed help, Josevalain offered to stay with him for the night. Nothing tendentious, Josevalain is married. And he had every confidence in Teph.
For his part, Teph was not yet used to showing his vulnerability to Josevalain. He'd been an awful man before he'd changed his ways. Tephain'a always took the comments he received too much to heart, and feared he'd receive more this evening, even more so now that he valued the elezen. Nevertheless, he had no other choice, and deep down, he hoped Josevalain's change of heart was real, for he was beginning to appreciate her uprightness and strength of character.
"I'm not sure how to help on this. Is it ok if we just sleep ?"
"Y-yeah, I'm sorry but there is no wind and it's too hot for a fire, and... !"
"Teph, calm down, it's fine. Echo can be... bothersome. You've helped me many times with mine."
"I'm worried to ask you that. You're married and..."
"Faithful, just as you are respectful. And no offense, but you're no my type."
"[giggles]"
"Say Josevalain, can I see your wedding ring?"
"My wedding ring? What for?"
"I'm... curious, and I've never had the chance to see one up close. I realize I've never been around a lot of people who are married. Or they often hide their rings. Fox wear his ring on a chain because he works a lot with his hands. But you always wear yours."
"That's what you're supposed to do with your wedding ring. I'm not supposed to take it off."
"Oh, it's, ahem, it's a no then?"
"What do you want to do with it ? It's really precious to me."
"Really, just, look at it. I could look at it on your hand but you don't like when we touch your hands, right?"
"They might hurt, yes. ... [sight] It's a weird fixation, but after Rohan'ya ask for an allagan droid, leave you my ring for a while seems reasonable. Don"t lose it, it's precious."
"It's shiny ! And already used."
"Well, I fight with it and my fighting style is not smooth..."
"You will replace it when it's too damaged ?"
"I won't. A wedding ring must be kept for life. If it breaks, I'll have it repaired. I take care of it as much as possible."
"Wow... That explains why they cost so much ?"
"Maybe, they have to be solid and beautiful. Don't try to sell it !"
"I won't! I understand why it's precious..."
"How come you know so little about wedding rings? Don't the miqo'tes have them?"
"They... They do. Well, I heard that some Nunhs don't have one because they have many wives. I lived in a tribe where they were uncommon. After that I lived on a pirate ship and after that, Limsa where I wasn't close to people. Weddings and wedding ring are not something I've ever thought about before."
"But now you're thinking about them?"
"... Yeah, I, hum, no... The truth is, I thought about it when I was a kid. I wanted to get married and have a family. It was in my plans."
Josevalain frowned. He didn't notice anyone who can make Teph thinks this way. He's not really nosey so not really surprised to consider only now that the miqo'te might have a serious relationship. But he wasn't sure if Tephain'a want to talk about it with him. So he preferred to remain evasive.
"Do you think about those plans for a reason ? "
"I guess. I don't think that's ever going to happen to me."
"What..?"
"I'm not... suited for marriage? I'm a... I don't..."
"Who the fuck told you that?!"
"I wasn't told that! I... ! it's obvious, isn't it?"
"No! Why wouldn't you get married?"
"I, hum, I don't know how to explain it... Thank for lending it to me, here, take it back."
"You don't know how to explain it, or you don"t know how to explain it to me?"
"...[ears down]"
"[sight] I know how mean I can be, Teph. I spoke badly of your past life and your behavior. I understand part of it now and I can apologize again. Has anything I told you makes you think you don't deserve to... ?"
"No ! Not at all ! I... ! Well you said things back then, but you also helped me... ! E-Even the fact that you say I… deserve… I like this !"
"Ok, now listen..."
Josevalain never thought he'd have to reprimand Tephain'a for his lack of self-confidence. But now that he knew that not only did Teph want to get married and how much happiness it had brought into his life, he sincerely hoped that one day the miqo'te would find the right person and have no doubt that he'd make a good spouse. Their discussion occupied them for part of the evening. It was unexpected, but between a few sarcasms and a few jibes, their conversation went a long way towards calming Teph's doubts and helping Jos to get to know the miqo'te better.
They eventually fell asleep, however Jos understood that Tephain'a was far less confident than he showed others, and that he only revealed these details to people he trusted. He was sad to see in one of his companions traits he himself had long maintained, but happy to help him grow.
Ancient forms of Tephain'a and Rohan'ya, moved to tears : "You can... Purr?!"
Ancient form of X'Shuni, overjoyed, lifting her as in the Lion King : "SHE BITES!!!"
Ancient form of Naome, who puts him under a heat lamp : "Shh, he sleeps."
A WoL question for the day, since I'm home sick and feeling awful:
How much does your WoL know about their Azem (or their ancient if they weren't Azem)? Have they unlocked the memories in the memory shard? How do they feel about their past self? Gimme your lore.
Any member of the squad would be surprised about their ancient form. But I feel very emotional about the AU where Thephain'a and their ancient form would meet.
I don't have a precise image of what Theles would look like, but I have a good idea of her solar and joyful personality, her love for music and her great candor. She would find Tephain'a adorable and happy that they still love music so much ! She would be fascinated by their adventures as she loved to hear Azem's.
They could talk days about their passions, their friends, their dreams ! They would love to spend time together to know who the other is, what their liffe looks like, everything ! They're both so curious by nature and even more about their past/future !
Teph would find her beautiful and fantastic. Theles is a singer who uses her magic to make her peers dream. Her longevity has in no way robbed her of her sweetness and passion. Teph would be ecstatic to learn that they were once so happy, loved for what they did and surrounded by friends and fans.
Theles would see how important it is for Teph, how it wasn't a given for them even if it changed when Teph joined the squad. She would cheer them up, like sing for and with them, teach them new songs and so gently wipe their tears. Their future seems really hash but she would find the words, like how proud she is that Teph is brave enough to face it, how happy she is to know her good friends remain by their side, even Azem ! She would hope that every part of her, in every shards, has this chance !
She'd know that Tephain'a is hard on themself and needs to hear that they're doing the right thing and succeeding better than they think, as she sometimes does and goes to Arachne for reassurance. On this point she would have no doubt that Teph is her future form.
Tephain'a was raised as a girl and keeps good memories of this time. Yet, he was kicked out and harshly betrayed for being in love with a nunh's son. The nuhn never saw Tephain'a as a girl, and threatened his son if he didn't break up with a "mimic of a girl". His son didn't hesitate.
Deeply hurt, Tephain'a didn't question his gender for years until he met his squad. Fox and Chipp were the first to talk to him, explaining that he's allowed to feel feminine and show it. They never push him, though, since Tephain'a has trust issues and don't allow himself any kind of vulnerability. Josevalain was a big help, despite their first bad impression of each other, or thanks to that. When the ishgardian praises Tephain'a without second thought, when he allowed the miqo'te to disguise as a female incognito, even giving the name Poema (means "pearl under the deep sea") for the persona - a name Tephain'a would take if he changes gender -, each time, Tephain'a feels validated. It helps him a lot to feel more like "her" and explore her gender in a safe environment. Yet, there's still many more to process.
When Fox joined the Scions, since he grew up in an orphanage, he didn't know how to read and only knew practical mathematics. He didn't dare to say a thing and often come to Arenvald or Isildaure when given a note or a letter. Arenvald kept the secret a long time. Isildaure began to teach him the alphabet.
Later, he learned and read a lot to catch up on classic culture. He waited a long time to admit it to the Scions, and Ameliance knew it before her children. Even if he became literate and cultured (? Like he gathered many knowledge and culture, he needed it to craft SCH or INV books), he's still ashamed when he speaks about it.
He participated a lot to provide the orphanage with teachers, books, and supplies for his little siblings in heart, so they learned every topic he couldn't learn.
Imagining my squad at the second trial of endwalker.
They didn't participate with the WoL and Scions but they felt the outcome, through their Echo power. Every of them felt it, so strongly they looked at each other, and each began to reach their chest with shaking hands, sniffling or crying right away to the feeling.
Tephain'a would seek support in Fox's arms, Josevalain would hide his face, Chipp would instantly call Arenwald and Momona would check on Krile, Rohan'ya would be so, so lost to this feeling he would begin many words but never finish them until Naome and X'Shuni take him in a strong embrace. In silence, they understand.
When the WoL returns, they would all check on him and mourn with him.
So yeah, non-WoL Echo users who felt the trial's outcome together.
You guys should tell me about your Azems while I'm stuck here at work. Just anything about them! Their names, what they like to do, did they ever make any concepts, who they loved, etc... Anything!
Hell, even just any Ancient OC's you might have. It doesn't necessarily have to be Azem!
Since I imagine my characters not as WoL but a squad working for the Scions, I like to imagine them as a group of friends of the previous and current Azem. None of them were important people, but they are people Azem met and maybe helped them in their journeys. They helped them in return when they needed.
Fox would have been an old Ancient lady named Arachne. Born with only 4 fingers on each hand, she never used her power to correct it because she was more skilled in creating fabrics and clothes this way. She worked for Hythlodaeus until she retired in a countryside house. There, she used her concepts of plants and spiders (made to look like her) to make handmade clothes for Azem according to their needs and other insects she take care of for honey, silk, etc. You could easily get lost in her large garden but she could find you without any problems.
She didn't return to the planet since she had a tiny role she still liked to accomplish. When she had guests, she put on special gloves with thumbs that move with aether, made by her older brother, Ancient equivalent of Rohan'ya. The whole squad has HC about each Ancient aspect, like that, and often linked to their specific power of the Echo.
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