This exists.

A hot mess of a human being versus the world.

[fr3nchtoastcrunch]

Hi

Welcome to my world. Why I waited so long to make an introductory post on this blog for people to read, I don't know. But it's here.

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Now, to answer a few questions...

Q: What is your gender? A: I possess XY chromosomes. (Male)

Q: How old are you? A: I prefer not to say. If that's a problem for you, tough luck. The most I'll tell you is that I'm legal. Take my word for it.

Q: Extrovert or Introvert? A: Introverts, unite. Separately. In your own homes.

Q: What is this blog about? A: [Whatever is on my mind at any given time. If I can think of it, I will most likely post about it.]* *Please Note: I make a LOT of posts dealing with mental health, and there is lots of swearing. There are some humorous posts, but for the most part my posts are pretty dark and/or vulgar. If that's not your thing, or if this is a sensitive topic for you, I highly recommend that you click out!

Q: Is there anything you WON'T post? A: Anything that is inherently NSFW or even remotely political (or dealing with some other hot button issues) will NOT be found here if I can help it.

Q: You mentioned health problems and disorders, especially mental ones. Is there anything you suffer from? A: Too many to list.

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I hope you enjoy your stay here. Or at the very least, you can find something that you can relate to.

[fr3nchtoastcrunch]

Yes, I deleted *that* post from earlier.

Everyone makes bad decisions, and that post was my bad decision of the week. Or rather, the year. Actually, that post may have been the worst decision I've ever made in my entire lifetime, and that really is saying something.

I have been severely injured at least three times from being attacked by "bully" breeds, and several times from other breeds as well. I also had to live with two pretty awful ones for a long time, which didn't help. This all turned me bitter and lead me to do things I would otherwise never do.

Advocating genocide is an awful thing to do, no exceptions. I would never go full Hitler on anything because of bad experiences with it; or for any reason at all, for that matter; and I will absolutely never encourage such a thing again.

I'd like to apologize for deleting the post as well. I'm not trying to hide what I did; it was simply a panic response. I did something utterly awful and that is the undisputed truth. And finally, I thank the people who messaged me about that godawful abomination of a post for being as blunt as possible in your pointing all of this out. I needed a reality check and you all delivered it nicely.

Make of it what you will, but I am not a crazed, dog-hating maniac. You have every right to believe that I'm a monster, that I'm only sorry because I was called out, and I will not stop you. I do not deserve forgiveness, nor do I ask for it.

I don't know what else I can do to make up for me being an absolute scumbag in a moment of unbridled rage, but I will do my best. From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry.

[fr3nchtoastcrunch]

Something I did a lot as a kid that's more than a little embarrassing and frankly quite gross, but I'd like to know...

As a kid, did you often try to hide the fact that you'd wet the bed? Like, you'd wake up and be like "aw, fuck" but then decide "what if I didn't tell anyone?" and just like that, the mission began.

I did this a lot. My mom would ask if me if I peed and I'd lie to her and say "no mom" and I would literally spend the rest of the day trying to hide the fact that I'd done it.

My results were often mixed, but generally poor. I'd say I had about a 30% success rate when doing this. Whether it be the very obvious stain or the unpleasant smell it gave off, I'd usually get found out.

If it was my mom or dad who picked it up, it was game over right there. But if it was one of my siblings, they'd occasionally do me a solid and promise to not snitch. Occasionally.

Sometimes I'd try to lie and say that I spilled a drink on myself. This worked fabulously until I started using it too often, so I resorted to only using it in the case that I genuinely did (I've always been ridiculously clumsy) in order to regain my parents' trust.

On the rare occasions where I did succeed - especially when nobody even suspected it - I'd feel quite proud of my accomplishment, as though I was a master spy and it was another mission accomplished, when in reality I'd just told a really stupid lie and gotten away it.

I know, this is disgusting to talk about, but I really want to know if anyone else did this, let alone as often as I did. In other words, was anyone as weird and depraved as I was in my youth...basically?

[fr3nchtoastcrunch]

UNLIMITED POWER

Idk if it's just me but it happened so often lmao

Sometimes I would be up over two hours past my bedtime because they just didn't care. Like, they would literally see me up and awake and they would greet me like nothing was wrong

Sometimes I was up past 1am and on a couple nights almost until 4

One time I was literally awake an entire night and they didn't realize it until my sister pointed out how zonked out I was

[fr3nchtoastcrunch]

Two seconds

I was in the backseat while my dad was driving and he turned a corner to find a streak of green traffic lights ahead of him.

Dad: "Look at that! It's my lucky day!"

Me: "I bet in about two seconds, they won't be green."

I shit you not: almost exactly two seconds later, they changed color. Every single one of them.

Sorry dad 💀

[fr3nchtoastcrunch]

There's a skating rink / restaurant I go to a lot. I just found out that the owner's son is autistic.

And now she's asked me if I could act as a "safe person" for her son whenever I come there. Someone he can talk to and level with because I know exactly how he feels at times. The place gets pretty loud at times and he's similarly prone to sensory overload, and often finds that he can't really talk to people his own age very well. You know, typical stuff for us.

I don't mind taking this role. I like to think that I'm a good listener and good at explaining things to other people if I understand said things very well. But the pressure of being able to talk to even him thanks to my social anxiety looms over me constantly. I always worry...what if I just get stuck and sit there awkwardly while he's trying to get my advice? What will he think? Will he just write me off as another person who doesn't get it?

I don't think that will happen, seeing as he's still a kid, but still. It's not entirely impossible for my brain to just misfire.

[fr3nchtoastcrunch]

I don't care how much of a staunch atheist you may be. If reading this doesn't make your blood boil, you are mentally ill.

FML is a pretty funny website for the most part, but there are times where it makes you wish that you could strange people through a screen.

There's a lot of religious extremists out there, to the point that extreme atheists tend to get overshadowed entirely. This should serve as a fine reminder that extremists will always exist on both sides of the coin on any issue.

FML.com website is pretty anti-religion for the most part, so the fact that this story has received such overwhelmingly negative reception should really tell you something.

[fr3nchtoastcrunch]

It was nice knowing y'all

[fr3nchtoastcrunch]

A few days ago, I attended my sister's baby shower.

The main attraction was the "Don't Say 'Baby'" game. Basically, you wear a necklace and if someone catches you using the word, you forfeit it to them. Whoever has the most necklaces wins.

At least, that's how it normally goes. My mom decided that it would be better to play it in a sudden death manner: If you said the word, you were out, period. And it would continue until one person is left.

My mom made the mistake wise decision of including me in it, despite the fact that I had headphones on full blast because...people. I didn't protest, deciding that I would do what I always do. "Oh, you have not to say that word? What if I just don't say any words?"

That was my immediate thought, and I stuck to it. Surprisingly, nobody else lasted even an hour before slipping up. My aunt, believing that she had won, loudly declared that she had won the baby shower.

She took her necklace off, and at that moment my dad looked at me and realized I was still in. Everyone else, including my mom, totally forgot that I was in and realized that I pretty much hadn't said anything since the game started.

I won the prize, and the new challenge became to make me say the word. So, I decided to humor them. I started talking a lot more, but whenever they tried to bait me into saying the word, I would use a different word. I started off saying "child" and "newborn," before getting a bit creative with things like "The upcoming female homosapien" and "The only instance where 1+1=3", among other things.

I exasperated my whole family with this and they just gave up.

[fr3nchtoastcrunch]

Not me imaging silly things: Ace Attorney Edition

For some reason I just randomly imagined Phoenix singing "Evil Woman" by ELO to Dahlia Hawthorne during her villainous breakdown.

The lyrics fit perfectly, as do the characters themselves...hell, everything is perfect about it.

Someone better make a video of Phoenix doing this to Dahlia or I'll be mighty disappointed. This is fucking brilliant

[fr3nchtoastcrunch]

Man what the fuck is this lmao

I have a pretty dark sense of humor but holy cow

[fr3nchtoastcrunch]

Not everyone can make an absolute banger about something so utterly mundane as being a window cleaner.

And to think that some people still view him as a one-hit-wonder 💀

[fr3nchtoastcrunch]

(TW) Overlooked ARFID Struggles

Constantly thinking about the fact that I probably won't even live to 50 and that my parents will outlive me

[fr3nchtoastcrunch]

READ THE TEXT BELOW THE PIC BEFORE YOU GO APESHIT ON ME

The definition of a disease is "[A] condition that negatively affects an organism."

Despite attempts to give it a positive reputation and make it seem like a good thing, autism has very few, if any, positives.

I don't feel special when I can't have a normal conversation with another human being to save my life.

I don't feel special when I have no friends because I'm too shy and awkward to get out there and make friends.

I don't feel special when loud noises and noisy environments make me want to crawl into a hole and die.

I don't feel special when I rarely leave my house due to my aforementioned noise sensitivity.

I don't feel special when I can't find or hold down a job because I can barely even talk to people at all on a good day.

I don't feel special when my food palate is severely limited due to an extreme sensitivity to textures.

I don't feel special when I'm a constant victim of ableism.

You know what I feel like?

I feel like I'm living in a world that wasn't made with me in mind.

And nobody cares.

[fr3nchtoastcrunch]

Literally

[fr3nchtoastcrunch]

I love when cats rub their face against something and their face goes like this

You know what I'm talking about?

[fr3nchtoastcrunch]

Hot damn, this is one excellent album indeed

That's all