Okay so I made a list of 30 (well, 29 actually) prompts I am releasing into the wild. The point of this is that at least one of the participants are not having a good time.
It has 30 prompts for November but feel free to write and post whenever, but please add the tag #No one nuts November or #NoonenutsNovember wherever you post. You do not have to @ or credit this blog if you use any of these prompts.
(Text version under the cut)
1. Safeword
2. Sub/dom drop
3. Loosing intrest halfway through
4. Trying something that doesn't work
5. Medical emergency (bonus points: it happens during bondage)
6. Bad/failed orgasm
7. Should have safeworded
8. "Wait, it's not supposed to hurt?"
9. "Let's never try that again."
10. Sex so bad they break up after
11. Realistic shower sex
12. Incompatible kinks
13. Threw up on that thang
14. Can't get hard/wet/aroused
15. Says wrong persons name during sex
16: ugly crying/overwhelmed
17: "I remembered you being better at this"/"I'm not impressed."/"I've had better."/"You're not hung chill"
18: Allergic reaction/cut off circulation
19. Dirty talk/degradation gets too real
20. Ignored/missed a safeword
21. Random horny confession that kills the mood for the other person/people
22. "No really, that's not going to fit."
23. Fire alarm goes off/interrupted by a third party
24. Pushing themselves into sex they aren't ready for
25. Sex toy gets stuck
26. Only one person having fun/agreeing to boring sex
27. Couple brings in a bad 3rd
28. Sex in a bad location
29. Sex so bad it kills you/one of the participants dies
reblogged a post with a correction about spray sunscreens (they work way less well than you think) but then decided the very small number of people who might see my reblog wasn't worth the likelihood that people would read it as me discouraging sunscreen use and come to yell at me so i deleted it.
but FYI, here in my own post:
spray sunscreens don't work very well
neither do (most) sunscreen sticks
in general, michelle wong (a.k.a. lab muffin beauty science), a chemistry PhD who is very passionate about sunscreen and spends a lot of time debunking sunscreen misinformation, is a useful resource for learning about sunscreen! both the above links go to videos she made. here is another: many many sunscreen questions answered
ilya is having sex with shane in all of his sports cars to decide which one he’s gonna take with him to ottawa cus the car where shane hits his strongest orgasm will be the winner. when it finally happens, shane is totally worn out, panting hard with his head against the glove box and ilya is kissing his back while caressing along his stomach and sometimes grabbing his chest and he goes “so this is the winner, yes?” and they both let out a breathless laugh and ilya pulls shane so that his back is against ilya’s chest and he asks “wanna go again?” and shane just shakes his head and ilya goes “no? did i wear out my baby?” and shane nods and ilya kiss behind shane’s ear and gently pats his head and goes “let’s go back inside then im gonna shower you and tuck you into bed and kiss you goodnight” and shane just nods again, completely spent and ilya lifts him up just enough to finally pull out and they both groan at the sensitivity and then ilya gets out of the car and lift shane up in bridal style to carry him back inside, ready to shower him and put him to bed
Ilya looks up from his book. Shane has his legs strewn over Ilya's knees, lying back on the couch they bought for the cottage's back patio. The chairs and loveseat that had been here previously hadn't allowed them to get comfy and close enough for long, lazy summer afternoons like this.
"How many hours do you think we have spent kissing?" he asks.
Shane scrunches his face. "Why?"
"A thousand?" Ilya suggests, ignoring the question.
"Maybe." Shane sets to actually calculating it. They're been married for three years, after three years of dating and about ten of... whatever they were doing before that. There are some days when they probably kiss for hours, slow makeouts that aren't even leading to sex. Other days, their sex is hungry and fast and they kiss through it, equaling at least thirty minutes of lip-to-lip contact. 3 years of living together is over a thousand days, so if you were to average it—
"Five thousand?" Ilya interrupts Shane's train of thought.
"Maybe. That sounds like a lot."
"Is not enough, though," Ilya shrugs. "We need ten thousand."
"Says who?" Shane laughs and moves his right foot to gently poke Ilya's stomach.
"Says me. And Malcolm Gladwell," he holds up his book and then reads directly from it. "In order to achieve true mastery in a field, you must dedicate ten thousand hours of practice to it."
Shane rolls his eyes. "You're an expert at kissing, I promise."
"No, science does not agree," Ilya sets the book down on the wicker table next to him and moves Shane's legs so he can climb on top of his husband. "Let's add one more hour now," he says as he brings their mouths together, and the promise of five thousand more hours of this glows like a ray of sunlight in Shane's chest.
trans girls are allowed to be annoying and stereotypical and socially inept and hyperactive and hypersexual and various types of animalgirl and there's nothing you can do about it. in fact if you're mean to that skirt go spinny reddit trans girl i'm stealing your entire house
one of their earliest hookups and ilya comes in like a minute and he's like fuck fuck fuck fuck my reputation as big bad russian stallion is ruined forever this is so bad hollander is never going to hook up with me again meanwhile shane is floating somewhere in space and he thinks it's the hottest thing in the world that he managed to make rozanov come in barely a minute
discoholicmusic
amandla
stormborns
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