Yikes

Mary. She/Her. 30s. Florida. Feel free to follow me and chat with me.

[fergal1cious]

[catrocity-hidden]

tonight I had the privilege of hearing a 13 year old explain the terms “cooking” and “cooked” to my 45 year old manager and she said something so excellent I have to document it.

“cooked is bad. cooking is good. you’re either in the pot or you’re holding it.”

[depsidase]

[studentlifeproblems]

[lizardsfromspace]

The exception is cheesy local commercials. Those should be the only ads. I will listen to someone who runs a store in my city doing an awkward rap. We once had a furniture store with these awful CGI ads and the slogan "where the deals are so low, it's almost criminal!" and then they got shut down, by the cops, because it turned out. It turned out the deals were so low because. You're not going to believe this but the prices were so low it was in fact

[vampirefabio]

283,000 likes………giant meteor strike the earth rn holy shit. oh my god.

[insomniac-arrest]

"maybe it's not your pussy" is such a funny phrase and also correct. People wonder why chores are so hard and it's like, friends we used to have a whole intergenerational team on this and now Grandma is locked in a beige box. Cooking is hard.

[sensiblereblogifposts]

Reblog the problem is capitalism and not your pussy

[noodles-07]

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

[heroineimages]

Mental illness is all in your head in the same way that prostate cancer is all in your ass.

[noodles-07]

this person wins everybody else go home

[viralfrog]

[andhumanslovedstories]

I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought “why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff,” so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It’s alright if you can’t because apparently I fuckin couldn’t either

[andhumanslovedstories]

Cutting something out of your life because you think you don’t need it any more only to realize that it was in fact working as intended and preventing a problem that will return should you stop doing this is a good experiment to run periodically with something small like dandruff shampoo, lest you start to think it would be a good idea to do this with like let’s say public health and the social safety net and vaccines

[thomrainierskies]

I had a liver transplant when I was 14 and like six months later I was chatting with my surgeon and he said “there’s gonna come a time, probably when you’re a teenager, where you’re gonna think, ‘I feel great, why am I still taking all this medication? I haven’t needed it in years.’ and you’re gonna want to stop taking all this medication. Guess what’s gonna happen then? You’re gonna go into rejection and your liver is gonna start failing, and you’re gonna be dying again, and we’re gonna have to find you another liver. So don’t do that.” And I said “why the fuck would anyone do that?” and he said “people are stupid.”

every once in a while when I get annoyed by a pharmacy or don’t wanna get out of bed to do my drugs I think “ugh, this is dumb, why do I do this?” and that conversation slams into me like a truck and I remember that I am, in fact, stupid

[zenosanalytic]

#you are not immune to the recency bias(via@arrows-for-pens)

[morethanonebraincell]

Every person on earth needs to read this post. It will make people’s lives a lot better and lessen the crises everyone faces in day-to-day lives.

[lastoneout]

honestly the discourse on this site is so bad that I have a new hot take: if you use tumblr at all fuck you

[i-wanna-be-cute]

Checked their account: turns out op is a fucking tumblr user themselves so????? Idk :/

[lastoneout]

[timsforeverhome]

There were repair guys in the house today, so Leon needs a LOT of comfort and reassurance

I don't have the heart to tell him there will be a plumber here tomorrow

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

"doesn't this charater under insane stress going through extremely traumatic events realize how inconvenient their irrational emotional reactions are to the people around them?" well, see, you're not gonna believe this, but the thing is,

[prokopetz]

On one hand, it's great to see people learn how to unfuck their living spaces. On the other hand, that stuff like "frequently used articles should be stored near where they're used" and "trash receptacles should be placed near activities that generate trash" are being received as radical ideas points to a serious knowledge transmission problem.

[kintatsujo]

Some people's parents get Really Weird about trash cans and practical items being where they can be seen, is part of the problem here

Source: currently a janitor at a church and you would not believe how many boomers get upset with me for insisting the trash cans need to be practical and easy to use instead of out of sight and too cute for functionality

including in the actual bathrooms

[kintatsujo]

actually no sorry there's a list here

things people have told me are "tacky" and that I need to get rid of (they have lost many of these arguments because I'm a bitch, others are ongoing)

an umbrella stand by the door with spare umbrellas for parishioners to use

a table by the front door "because people keep putting things on it" (that was. Why that table was there)

the signs that directed people towards the bathrooms

the actual trash can in the bathroom "because surely we don't need one so big" (for the bathroom that services the fellowship hall, which hosts things like the local scout events, so yes we need one that's at least 20 gallon)

apparently it's also tacky if I write down when I changed things like batteries and air fresheners, on a calendar they'll never see unless they go into my office??

another table in another waystation type area because "people keep putting things on it" (even when it's completely clear)

signs we are legally required to post

[shiisiln]

What the fuck is wrong with people

[kintatsujo]

[chocolate-mintdromeda]

#sort of tangientially related but:#i once worked on a wetland restoration project involving a new small lakeand one of the board members wanted#the life rings that we had to include#to have 'natural looking covers' disguising them to 'reduce visual impact and make them blend in'#and I had to gently explain that life saving equipment needs to stand out

Had to show these tags. The way some people think astounds me.

[mikkaeus]

[valilihapiirakka]

the classic Finnish mix of extreme dutifulness and “we will make actual conversation after a silent interaction trial period of 6 weeks, thank you” can be really funny sometimes. told my coworker that I’d like to save the coffee grounds the workplace generated and take them home “for my mushrooms and worms” and she was just like “okei” and dutifully saved every single grounds-filled filter for weeks and weeks. about five weeks into this whole thing, after I thank her for the coffee grounds and tell her my worms must love them because they’re breeding very enthusiastically, she finally asks “so your worms… do they have a purpose or are they just… worms”. like sure I’ll save you all these coffee grounds every single time I drink coffee, 3+ times a day, but god forbid I inquire about your specific worm habits before propriety allows it. you could be eating them for breakfast for all I know but that’s your business

[valilihapiirakka]

this post has been up for so long I’m at a new workplace now, and here’s a new one: someone finally getting a close enough look at the jar of homemade nut butter I’d been using to make snacks for days (in a reused jar, still with the pesto label on it), realising the contents were not as advertised, and saying with poorly concealed relief “ai!!! you weren’t spreading pesto on bananas!” like she’d been quietly dying inside the whole time but had grimly committed herself to never ever presuming to ask wtf was going on

[valilihapiirakka]

#I mentioned to a coworker how my friend had mailed me some goldfish and I was so excited to eat them#and she labored under the misapprehension for days that I was consuming actual real fish mailed all the way from America#before one day I brought some for lunch and she was like ohhh these are crackers!!

congrats, this is so cursed and the best addition someone has made to this post

[junglejim4322]

Why are there like 5 daily chores where if you skip them for 2 days your life becomes a time based psychological thriller after

[frogus]

what they don't tell you about making friends is you gotta be a lil annoying. you gotta push past the fear of "what if they don't want to talk to me" and simply ask someone how their day is going, send a meme. you cannot connect to people if you're both just awkwardly waiting for the other to start.