I've Been Searching For Salvation

RP Blog for James Buchanan Barnes 21+ Only | Played by Emmy NSFW Friendly, Non ExclusiveMCU with Minor 616 / HC rules & guidelines

[forchrisevans]

#🔥🔥🔥

[marvelshuffle]

Marvel Shuffle | Avengers: Age of Ultron, Steve’s alternate vision

[bloodyneptune]

this just…makes more sense? he quite literally picked up the shield to save Bucky. sure, he didnt go to war for him, but war is done with him, nobody’s asking him to go overseas or shit. it’s Captain America that he cant get away from. the logical way to express him getting too rest is the reason he picked the shield up telling him it was ok to put it down.

as great as Peggy was, their brief romance was not bigger than what was (at least as far as they’ve confirmed) his life long friend who he -at that point more than ever- felt he didnt save.

to Steve, he woke up and Peggy was an old woman -but one he knows had a good, long life. but to Steve, Bucky died, he woke up with that trauma still fresh…then Bucky came back, mutilated and tortured -and he knows he had a horrific, horrifying long life.

are you telling me Steve’s greatest dream is to get the girl he lost, not the seeing man that he loves (either way), whos been through 70 years of horror that he blames himself for, back before any of that ever happened to him? telling him it was ok, they (Bucky) could go back to their old lives?

even on a selfish level there’s no way that not ending up with a girl he actually spent little time with would be more impactful than the guilt he feels over not saving Bucky

and with that specific line, too, without a doubt. its what the saying means, to the end of the train line.

and you can boil all this down to that: what Steve wants more than anything is to have made it to the end of the line with Bucky

[giadin-a]

meanwhile …

“So Mr. Jesus …” “Peter, don’t call me Jesus.” “… but you have some lambs.” “They are baby goats.”

instagram        pateon               

[funnypqul]

if he begs for me back, let him beg. he deserves more than me.

[adamisstillinhellthankstoyou]

Source

[freightcars]

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

[MSG: Nat] Fifteen bucks says you’re not gonna be able to guess where the next mission is.

[freightcars]

websandredheads

[james] let’s not be sloppy James.

[james] we’ll get it done in an hour and I’ll book us a great hotel.

[james.] no sharks, but hiking to a waterfall?

[MSG: Nat] Make it 45 minutes and a waterfall that leads to sharks & you’ve got yourself a deal.

[freightcars]

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

[MSG: Nat] Fifteen bucks says you’re not gonna be able to guess where the next mission is.

[freightcars]

websandredheads

[James] yes Caribbean vacation.

[james] no you aren’t swimming with the sharks

[james] how fast can we finish this mission and tell no one.

[MSG: Nat] It’s an arms dealer / weapon trafficking thing so [MSG: Nat] I say we bang it out in 20 minutes and spend six days drinking stuff out of different kinds of fruits. [MSG: Nat] And definitely swimming with the sharks.

[freightcars]

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

[MSG: Nat] Fifteen bucks says you’re not gonna be able to guess where the next mission is.

[freightcars]

websandredheads

[James.] good not guessing or bad not guessing?

[James] shot in the dark Monte Carlo. I wanna kick your ass in poker again.

[MSG: Nat] Close, but no cigar. [MSG: Nat] Plus we both know I let you win that one time [MSG: Nat] La Ceiba. 

[freightcars]

battlesthatmatter

Okay at least he was getting better at reading sarcasm. Well, at least he thought he was. Rogers double checked his watch as he continued to move through the compound to his temporary residence. He was still looking for his own place, something not attached to work, but the prices were insane. [MSG: Buck] What? And be subjected to the dark ages? [MSG: Buck] Yeah, meeting’s over. I’m free for a while. [MSG: Buck] Where even are you at?

[MSG: Steve] Don’t worry, the dark ages aren’t contageous [MSG: Steve] You’re Captain America, you’re cursed with a healthy sex life, it’s part of the perks. [MSG: Steve] I’ve got a place in Fredericksburg, I can be there in about an hour unless you wanna meet half way.

Because ‘place in Fredericksburg’ actually means dump in Fredericksburg, but you can only reach so high without providing a background or credit check. Such is life under the radar - but he sure as hell doesn’t want Steve to see it. His pride won’t allow for it.

[freightcars]

battlesthatmatter

[MSG: Buck] Oh please, do tell me how you really feel about that [MSG: Buck] Messages never convey sarcasm properly, so that was certainly sarcastic. Just to clear up any confusion [MSG: Buck] The keyboard didn’t do anything wrong, and those things cost money. [MSG: Bucky] And knowing the system, there would be paperwork about needing to order a new keyboard…because of the paperwork problem. Vicious cycle.

[MSG: Steve] You? Sarcasm? Get outta here. [MSG: Steve] Sounds like a real chore you got there. [MSG: Steve] Any way you can get out of it for a while?

[freightcars]

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

[MSG: Nat] Fifteen bucks says you’re not gonna be able to guess where the next mission is.

[freightcars]

punchyourwayout

“Or…we could run away and never come back. No more killing and fighting- the normal life we always dreamed about when you trained me a million years ago.” she countered.

“No biological kids, but that’s my fault. We could get a dog. And a cabin in the mountains or a house by the sea. I’ve never once had the urge to dream about those things with Connor.”

He huffs out a sardonic laugh, he can’t help it. It isn’t meant as an insult, it’s just... realistically, what chance do either of them have at actually getting out? For real, for good? It’s a beautiful dream, hiding in a cabin by the sea. One he thought he could have for a couple years there in Romania, and the surrounding satellite countries he bounced between.

One that got firmly shattered.

“And tell everyone what? That we’re retired?” That might work for Clint, but for them?

[freightcars]

battlesthatmatter

[MSG: Buck] I always wondered about that, cause I swear the mosquitoes don’t love me like they used to. [MSG: Buck] That’s certainly not a complaint. I hate those little buggers. [MSG: Buck] Yeah, well, meetings are a def mood killer. Paperwork is the worst. [MSG: Buck] Gonna have to rain check on that one, sorry to disappoint He kept his phone in hand, just in case he was going to keep getting rapid fire text messages. Rogers was becoming quite a fan of the new one that he had gotten. He had finally been convinced to get one of the smart phones on the market as he had broken his last one on accident. Hopefully the case would help prevent the super soldier from making the same mistake.

[MSG: Steve] I think that’s more about the fact that you used to be sweet and now you’re sorta just moth balls and talcum powder. [MSG: Steve] You’re killing me with all this sympathy. Touching my heart, really. [MSG: Steve] Wow, they got you doing paperwork now, not just [MSG: Steve] I don’t know, punching the keyboard into submission? Congrats to Steve for his adaptability, though. Every time Bucky sees one of those little touch screen bastards he thinks about snapping it in half; they don’t pick up metal fingertips. He’ll stick to burners, his paranoia appreciates the ease with which he could ditch it.

[freightcars]

battlesthatmatter

Okay if he didn’t back to his room people were going too look at Steve funny for laughing at his phone. He continued down the stairs, trying to keep a straight face as he moved through the compound. [MSG: Buck] Okay but those peasants probably had their houses full of fleas, and then we are back to square one about the plague. [MSG: Buck] C’mon it can’t be that bad man [MSG: Buck] Besides, self love is still a thing right?

If nothing else, let it never be said his troubles weren’t good for something. Steve Rogers laughing like an idiot in a hallway isn’t much by way of consolation prize, but he’d always considered it a personal victory when he managed to pull forth a grin. Somewhere in a rundown apartment in Brooklyn there’s probably a tally card where he’s been keeping score.

[MSG: Steve] Joke’s on you pal, this stuff in my blood’s an instant plague killer. [MSG: Steve] ...can’t help but wonder about the fleas, though. You think it works on them? Most expensive flea repellant ever created? [MSG: Steve] Yeah, about that. You can go love yourself right now.

[freightcars]

punchyourwayout

She’d never felt so disappointed and frustrated as when he pushed her away- and she’s had plenty of disappointment and frustration in her long life.

Despite being only ten or so years younger than him, her morals were formed under very different circumstances. But she wasn’t going to push him. Yet.

“I think you should stay. I’ve been looking for a reason to call the wedding off. Connor isn’t as good a man as I’d hoped…” Nat admitted.

People get cold feet the day before their wedding. It’s a thing that happens all the time- nearly every time, from what he’s given to understand. Not that he’s ever gotten married before, but he’s been to plenty of weddings. Coaxed Rebecca through hers shortly before he shipped off to England, and she nearly cried her makeup off. After he woke up, he looked her up. She stayed married to him until he eventually died sometime in the eighties.

He shakes his head, cards a hand through his hair only to have it fall back into his face again.

“I didn’t come here to- I’m not here to mess stuff up for you, even though it... Well, that’s exactly what it seems like I did, I just...” His hands fall away to his sides, thumbs search and find pockets to hook into. “I think you should... think about it. And if... if the wedding happens tomorrow, I’ll get it. No hard feelings. I’ll be there. But if it doesn’t happen tomorrow...”

Well, then he’ll know.

[battlesthatmatter]

[MSG:] It’s like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here.

text messages

He really shouldn’t be seen laughing so shortly after a mission debriefing, but he was laughing as he quickly ran himself down the steps. He paused at one of the landings to read the message again and felt another chuckle lodge itself out of his throat. He couldn’t help but razz him back for sharing this. 

[MSG: Buck] At least you don’t have the feudal system to deal with too.[MSG: Buck] Or the plague. [MSG: Buck] It could always be worse man. You have my sympathies. 

[freightcars]

Thanks for for that, Steve. A casual reminder that he doesn’t have to worry about the plague really does the trick. Why are they friends again? The flat, unimpressed face Barnes pulls at his phone can’t really be described in human vocabulary. They don’t make things flatter than straight lines, do they?

[MSG: Steve] You say ‘at least’ like having a few peasants laying around wouldn’t be exactly what I needed to solve my problem right now. [MSG: Steve] At this point I’m thinking it counts as going full circle and coming around a virgin again.

[freightcars]

punchyourwayout

Nat moved toward him and gently slipped a hand under his chin to make him look at her.

After holding his gaze for a moment, she leaned in and brushed her lips against his. It was literally now or never and after his declaration she needed to know if the spark was still there for her as well.

It was.

She’d dressed for a quiet night in in a tank top and terry cloth shorts. But the shiver that ran up her spine had nothing to do with how thin her pyjamas were

Well, hell. Now what was she supposed to to do?

The thing about it is, James Barnes is not a passive kisser. He never has been, not in 1938 and not now in 2018. If he lives another twenty years he’ll have a perfect track record for a century of good necking. 

(Realistically he’ll be lucky to make it another 20 months, but keep the dream alive, folks.)

She’s still during her approach, he’s even still during her assent, but the second lips touch his all bets are off. The world is narrowed down to a singular point of contact, lips sticking and catching, dry and soft, eyes closed, everything else gone. A metal arm slides around her waist, and with it he hauls her up, flush against him. If he only gets this once, tonight, now, god damn he’s gonna do it right.

And just as quickly, it ends. He lets her back and down with a firm hand at her hip to push her away. Clears his throat, and exhales slowly from his nose. Much as he might want to, his sense of morals come from the thirties and forties. There are some things you don’t do to people, and he’s already crossed the line. 

Voice a bit thick, a bit rusty, he murmurs, “I should go.”